I Wish I Were Blind

"Sirius, I can't do this anymore."

"Nikki, don't."

"Sirius, please. Can't you see? There's someone else."

"What?"

"I gotta go. I'm sorry, but it's over Sirius."

I love to see the cottonwood blossom in the early spring

I love to see the message of love that the bluebird brings

But when I see you walking with him down along the strand

I wish i were blind when I see you with your man

How could I have been so stupid? He wondered as he watched her walk away, her blonde hair swaying as the wind blew softly. She had been everything, now he was nothing. He put his head in his hands, he wouldn't cry, but he couldn't look at her anymore.

He saw her walk into the castle, so peacefully. Like nothing had happened.

Nothing happened, he told himself, nothing.

He saw her later and saw she wasn't lying as some Slytherin's arm was around her shoulder. She laughed as they walked by the pond. Sirius was no longer her knight in shining armor. He looked away as the sun set, casting beautiful rays upon her.

I love to see your hair shining in the long summer's light

I love to watch the stars fill the sky on a summer night

The music plays, you take his hand

I watch how you touch him as you start to dance

And I wish I were blind when I see you with your man

He went to the dorm, making eye contact with the floor. He felt like he had just been stabbed, and he wished that was the case. Blood is easier to clean up than are broken hearts.

He laid down on his bed, alone in dorm. James, Remus, Peter and Ben wouldn't be back from the library for a while. There was a picture of Nikki by his bed. Sirius picked up the picture, and looked at for a second. They were at his house, in his room, in fact. She was wearing a beautiful red lace tank top and black pants. Her blond hair framed her face like an angel's as she laid back on his bed, laughing as clicked a picture.

We struggle here but all our love's in vain

And these eyes that once filled me with your beauty now fill me with pain

And the light that once entered here is banished from me

And this darkness is all, baby, that my heart sees

He looked at his angel. Without thinking, he threw the picture across the room. It hit the stone wall and shattered on impact. He sighed and walked over to clean up the mess. The picture was lying face up, Nikki was still there. The glass had not damaged the photograph like he had hoped.

For the second time that day, he put his head in his hands. Only this time, he let himself cry.

And though the world is filled with the grace and beauty of God's hand

Oh I wish I were blind when I see you with your man

In the weeks that followed, he found himself acustomed to the heartbreak. But he had found, it grew less and less as time passed. He still had the photo of Nikki, but it was no longer in the frame. He placed it in a shoebox under his bed.

Sirius Black knew he would never forget Nicolai Barcelona.

But he knew if he looked at the picture any longer, he would start to pray for blindness.