Lightsabers

Lightsabers

Harry rattled the bars of his uncomfortably small iron cage. The back of his head still hurt where it had hit the floor.
"Hey, you!" he shouted to the stormtrooper guard. The guard turned around, his facial expression was hidden behind his white mask.
"LET ME OUT!" screamed Harry, in his most annoying, obnoxious voice. The guard ignored him.

"Shut up!" shouted Seamus, "I need to think, you idiot!"
"Think about what?! There is nothing to think about!! Darth Vader is going to roast us alive and feed us to his pet basilisk! We're all going to die, can't you see!!"
"SHUT UP!" Seamus and Draco screamed, together. "I'm trying to think of a way to get us out of here!"

Harry growled.

"Quit being so pessimistic, Potter," said Draco, "you've probably been in a situation like this a million times before. You're supposed to be the Boy Who Lived."
"Shut up, Malfoy. And I've never been in a situation like this, before. Haven't you noticed that if I had, I wouldn't be alive right now, because I'd be dead?!!"
"Well you're supposed to be the hero of every bloody Potter-lover's fic there is out there, so you get us out of here."

Harry's lip twitched, as if to say something extremely obnoxious, but he kept silent.

"Well, Potter," started Draco after a long pause, "what's your plan?"

"What plan?"

"Your plan to get us out of here."

"I don't have a plan to get us out of here. Well actually, I do have a plan, but it's not a very good plan."

"Let's hear it."

"My plan is to stay here and wait for the Darth Vader to come around and shove us onto his gigantic gridiron, then scream and wail until we roast to death."

"You're right, that's not a very good plan. But aren't we lucky that I'm here, because I've got a plan to actually get us out of here."

* * * * *

"But aren't we lucky that I'm here, because I've got a plan to actually get us out of here."

"Well then, let's hear it," said Harry, tiredly.

"Potter, you know how to do wandless magic, right?"

"No Malfoy, I think you've got me confused with---"

"Well the script says that," interrupted Malfoy, pulling a scroll of parchment from out of his pocket, "you perform some wandless magic and somehow manage to get out of your cage summon your wand, then knock out that guard over there," he pointed to the guard in the white robe, "then knock out a couple of approaching guards and free us all and blow up this spaceship."

"Where? Let me see that," said Harry, snatching the parchment from Malfoy's hands, "It says, 'Harry performs wandless magic and summons his wand, then busts out of cage, knocks out approaching guards, frees captured Hogwarts students and blows up alien spaceship.'"

Harry shrugged and handed the scroll back to Malfoy.

"Harry," said Seamus after another long pause, "can you hurry up and get us out of here? I think my cage is shrinking."

"Fine, fine. I'll give it a try, but I'm making no promises."

Seamus and Draco nodded.

"Accio wand," said Harry, pointing his hand at the table where he spotted his wand. The wand flew towards him, and landed in his open hand. "Hey, it worked!" he shouted excitedly.

"See, I was right," cocked Malfoy.

"Shut up, Malfoy. What do I do next?"

"The script says, you bust out of your cage," he read, "and then a couple of stormtroopers arrive and you knock them out, then you rescue us and blow up this ship."

"Alright then. Alohomora," he said, pointing his wand at the bars of the cage.

The bars vanished, and Harry crawled out of the cage. The sirens had begun to scream, and Harry cupped his ears with his hands. The guard who was sleeping at the desk jolted awake, and began to walk towards Harry. Harry kicked the guard in the groin and he toppled over.

Several other stormtroopers began to appear with lightsabers, and Harry swore.

"TEMPUS FUGIT!" he screamed.

The world around him seemed to freeze. The siren had completely stopped, and several guards were caught in mid-stride.

Harry picked up his wand.

"Stupefy!" he shouted, to the approaching guards.

"Finite Incantatem."

The world seemed back to normal, and the stormtroopers flew backwards into the wall. Harry opened the cages with a touch of his wand, and Seamus and Draco crept out hurriedly. Draco was the first to speak.

"Well thank you Potter," he said, his voice lacking his usual sneer, "that was really very--"

"Shut up Malfoy. What happens next?"

"Potter! Duck!"

Harry threw himself to the ground. Above him, a death ray beamed into the wall, chipping off pieces of ancient stone.

A voice boomed above him. "Damn you, Potter! That wall was a gift from the Sith federation!"

Harry rolled over on the floor. Darth Vader was above him, ominously wielding his death-ray gun. Harry picked himself up from the floor, and patted down his robes.

"Petrificus Totalus."

Darth Vader froze. Harry turned around to face Malfoy.

"Now what do I do?"

Malfoy shrugged and held up the script for Harry to see. There was a gaping hole in the middle of it where the death-ray had struck.

Harry walked up to Darth Vader and inspected him closely. Suddenly, he felt a jolt of pain in his right shoulder, and collapsed to the ground. He heard a sickening thud behind him. Malfoy shrieked.

"Bastard!" he muttered, clasping his shoulder with his hand. He took it away from his wound and looked down. There was a sickening wound through his right shoulder, and he fought the urge to retch. Forcing himself up, he plucked the gun from Darth Vader's hands and kicked him in the groin.

"Impedimenta! Expelliarmus! Stupefy!" he shouted, and Darth Vader was thrown back and slammed into the wall behind him. "Malfoy, did you just happen to forget to tell me that Darth Vader was partially resistant to Petrificus Totalus?"

He turned around, and what he saw made his stomach lurch. Seamus was on the floor, motionless, and a pool of blood was widening beneath his head. There was a gaping hole through his forehead.

Malfoy was kneeling beside the body.

"Malfoy, did you also just happen to forget to tell me that Seamus is supposed to die in this plot?"

* * * * *

To be continued in Chapter 2