As the Moon-Petals Wilt

As the Moon-Petals Droop

The drawing room of Godric's Hollow was filled with the sounds of friendly conversation, laughter, and a dying fire. A baby who would make history later that night cooed and gurgled jovially while his parents sat on either side of him, staring at the one year old dotingly.

The two adults and three of their friends all sat on various couches and chairs that were purposely pushed close together, to enable easier conversation. In between all of these seats was a small table on which sat a tray of tea and Lily's acclaimed sugar cookies.

"You're trying to kill me with these cookies, Lily," teased a bright eyed Sirius Black as he finished one and reached for another. "I've already lost count of how many I've had!"

Lily Potter laughed. "At least you liked them. I was going to force James to bake... but then we wouldn't have anything decent to eat."

"Hey!" said James in good-natured defense. "I'm a great chef! I can make..." He faltered, mumbling incoherently.

Remus Lupin smiled, averting his eyes from Lily for the first time that night. "Great chef? Then you must not remember when you convinced the house elves at Hogwarts to let you help with dinner, and you nearly blew up the kitchen."

The entire group laughed at the recollection, even baby Harry made giggling noises. Remus' gaze found its way back to Lily, and if she had looked into his eyes at that moment, she would have recognized the memories and emotions he was re-experiencing; that he felt each time they saw each other. She would distinguish his feelings, because sometimes, she felt the same ones.

While everyone else's face was relaxing into a content sort of half-smile, Peter's expression was evidently discontent and even the unobservant could perceive his anxiety.

"Pete, are you okay?" asked Sirius. "You've hardly said a word all night."

"M-me? Oh, I'm f-f-fine."

Everyone raised their eyebrows at Peter; it was unlike him to be so awkward. Granted, he had never been the most articulate of people, be was not a stammering, bumbling idiot either.

"No, you're not," insisted James. "Tell us what's wrong."

"I'm... er... f-feeling ill. I sh-should go..." Peter abruptly got up from his seat and walked through the door. Remus followed swiftly after him, but did not speak until they were at the front door and far out of earshot.

"What's going on, Peter?" asked Remus forcibly, but with true concern.

"I t-told you... n-nothing."

"You're not a very convincing liar, Wormtail. I--"

"Don't call me that!" Peter snapped suddenly, his tone one of agitation rather than anger. "I--I'm sorry. I really am feeling ill. I p-promise, I'm not l-lying."

Remus was taken aback by Peter's outburst, and felt that he could do no more but believe in Peter's trustworthiness on this matter. After all, they were close friends, and Remus trusted Peter to no end. Remus would never have been able to fathom how completely wrong he was in trusting Peter's excuse of being unwell.

Upon reentering the drawing room, Remus was bombarded with questions about Peter's hasty departure, all of which were on the receiving end of a shrugged as a reply. "He said he was sick, and he did look a little pale..."

"Maybe he's going through shag withdrawals," suggested Sirius deviously. "After all, it's been awhile since the poor bloke has gotten any."

This comment caused peals of laughter, along with several cookies thrown at Sirius's head, although he dodged most, soon after picking them up to munch on.

When Lily's laughter died down, she turned to Remus and said as though she were remembering something, "I read an amazing book last week; would you like to borrow it?" Pausing, she added with a smirk and a sidelong glance at Sirius, "Unless, of course, you'd rather sit around and listen to a bunch of crude comments being thrown back and forth."

"Hmm, looking at the book does sound rather appealing, now that you mention it..." Remus had a smile on his face, the tips of his mouth curled up in an expression that was the closest his demeanor would ever come to sarcastic. It wasn't in his nature--and never had been--to tease with a sharp edge to his voice. He was always involved in pranks, ever since he started at Hogwarts, but he was strongly objected to anything that could hurt anyone, physically or emotionally. By some he was called wimpy or wishy-washy; by others it was considered endearing. Either way, Remus did his best to spare everyone their feelings, and therefore avoided hurtful speech implements--such as sarcasm--that he found unkind, unjust and unnecessary.

After giving Harry a kiss on the forehead, Lily led Remus into the library, with rows and shelves of books that constantly amazed her. The room was a grand one, with an endless store of books of all different kinds. Dust collected on the tops of the shelves and on some of the books that hadn't been touched in generations, as hard as Lily tried to keep the room dusted. Comfortable armchairs were set up around the library, and a mahogany desk sat near the corner. The entire room smelled of old books and cinnamon and coffee, a pleasing, relaxing scent that made the room all the more lovable. Although most of the collection came from James' side of the family, he rarely came in here. This was Lily's room; her getaway.

When Remus entered, closing the door behind him, Lily walked over to the desk, talking to Remus as she searched for the book in question.

"It's a Muggle novel," she began. "I know that you are on a wizarding non-fiction kick at the moment, but you just have to read this book."

She fumbled through piles of leather bound and comfortably worn books, all of which were classics, although not all written by Muggle authors.

"Aha!" she exclaimed, pulling the book out from underneath three rather heavy volumes. "Here." Lily placed the book into Remus' hands, and he stared at the golden lettering on the cover for a moment before reading the title and the author aloud. "The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Emmuska Magdalena Rosalia Maria Josefa Barbara Orczy." He laughed. "What a mouthful. What's it about?"

"It takes place during the French Revolution, and there is an Englishman who is rescuing many nobles right before they would be sent to the guillotine. And... oh, I can't say anymore. You know I can't stop talking when it comes to literature, and if I start I'll give away the whole plot!" She was grinning from ear to ear.

"All right, then, if it's that good I'll definitely read it. Shall we head back to the drawing room?"

"Let's just stay here and let Sirius and James goof off for a little longer. Anyway, you and I never talk anymore."

"What about Harry?"

"Oh, he'll be fine. He sneezed this morning and James almost rushed him to St. Mungo's. If there's any problem at all, he'll come get me."

Remus smiled. "Okay, so let's talk, like you suggested." He sat down in a soft-cushioned armchair--so soft that he sunk in deep enough to give him reason to believe that he would never be able to get up. Lily sat in a chair a few feet across from his, sinking in just as much as he had.

Shifting the book to his other hand, and then placing it on his lap, he asked, "When do you want this back by?"

Lily shrugged. "Whenever you finish it, I guess. Since I've already read it, I have no more use for it." She rolled her eyes. "James doesn't read much, you know that."

Remus smirked. "And here, we all thought that you would rub off on him."

"No such luck," she said, the traces of an earlier smile lingering on her face. "So, how are you? Are Sirius and Peter good roommates?"

"Sirius is Sirius and out on a date almost every night and Peter is never home. So, yes, I get the entire flat to myself, it's rather nice."

"Is it?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "And why is Peter never home, it's a bit strange to think of him on constant dates."

"Whenever it gets lonely, I just come over here anyway." He winked. "I don't know, he said he doesn't go on dates, but I can't for the life of me figure out or get him to confess where he is all the time. I suppose I'll find out soon enough, won't I?"

Lily nodded. "That's so... odd. You don't think there's something wrong, do you?"

Remus shook his head. "I don't think so, it doesn't seem like that. If I find anything out, I'll tell you straight away."

"Good."

They sat quietly for a few moments before Remus' slightly awkward voice broke the silence. "I'm increasingly happy for you and James. Harry is so perfect... and you are so content." He smiled at her.

"Remus..." she muttered quietly, the pleading tone of her voice telling him that she didn't want to tread on this dangerous and painful ground.

"I'm sorry, Lily," he said, struggling to stand up from the chair, and finally did so, albeit gracelessly.

"For what? None of this was your fault. We," she paused, not keen on saying the words, "broke up almost two years ago. It shouldn't still be uncomfortable."

"We don't need to talk about this, do we Lil? Why reopen healing wounds?"

"Because," said Lily firmly, "we are, and always were, friends first. But our friendship has been withering away, because we feel too odd around each other. I don't want it to be like that with you, though. You're my best friend in the entire world, we just happened to have dated a while back..."

"'Just dated'... it wasn't 'just dating'. Not for me, and you know that."

"Look," Lily bit her lip, staring up at Remus apologetically. She wanted to shout at him, to say, "We could still be together if weren't so god damn insecure. You were the one who broke up with me because of a little, tiny issue once a month! But I never cared about it, and if you weren't so bloody self-conscious, that baby in the next room could have been ours!" Lily, however, swallowed those words and merely said in a quieter voice, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up." She stood, with a lack of grace as well, and stared at Remus intently. "It wasn't 'just dating' for me either," she whispered. "Come on; let's go back to the drawing room."

She began to walk out of the library, but Remus grabbed her wrist lightly and passively, but it was enough to hold her back. "Wait."

He approached her, taking her chin in his hand and tilting her head up. "If we are reopening wounds then at least let me say this, as I may never have another chance." He took in a deep breath of air and continued, "Do you remember what I said to you when we broke up? I told you that you would be the last person I would ever love. So far, I have been right, and I know that it's never going to change. And if you ever needed anything from me, I'd be by your side faster than you can say 'Floo Powder.' But..."

Lily had been staring him in the eyes for the whole speech, and for a moment she could not do it any longer. She shut her eyelids as her thumb played with the ring on her finger, lest she forgot it was there. "I'm married, Remus. And I do really love James... differently than I loved you though. As great as the past was, we cannot bring it back, and we shouldn't look back. We have to live in the present." She finally opened her eyes, and they were glazed over and shining.

"I know, Lil, let me finish." He took another deep breath. "But you're married to one of my best friends, and I would never in a million years touch you while you're with him. I just want to let you know that no matter what happens to any of us, I'll always be there for you. As a friend and as... yours."

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it lightly before abruptly leaving the room, and a few seconds thereafter, the house. Had Remus known, however, that that was to be the last time he would ever see Lily and James, he might have stayed a little while longer. But he had no idea of the fate that was to befall the Potter family that night, and at the moment could only think of the fate that had arisen to him when he had ended it with Lily. Sighing, he walked to his own flat, not far from Godric's Hollow. He stopped his tread to examine a brilliant flower on the side of the road... a white rose, the petals of it reflecting the luminosity of the moon. Kneeling down, he lightly touched a finger to one of its petals, and it immediately fell off into the palm of his hand. He stood again, staring at the petal for a long moment, before pocketing it and continuing to walk. The petal might have wilted, but it would always be beautiful.