Speak, Memory

Older and Wiser

When Harry and Ron reached the Gryffindor dormitory, they found Professor McGonagall waiting there. "Potter," she said, "I'd like for you to come up to my office so we can discuss the Quidditch team." Harry said good-bye to Ron and followed McGonagall up to her office.

"Now Potter, as you know we'll have to do a lot of rebuilding this year. As team captain, it's your responsibility to schedule team try-outs and make sure that all of the remaining players from last year's team are present. Then you must come to me and I'll book a playing field for the team for that time. I need a date and time from you by noon tomorrow. Will there be any problems?"

"No, Professor," Harry said. He was determined to prove that he was not only responsible but exemplary.

"Good. It will be up to you to decide who to pick for the team and what positions they will play, so consider your choices carefully. Well, I think that's all."

"Thank you, Professor." Harry was eager to hold try-outs, to find out what the hopefuls were like and to have such power and responsibility.

* * *

Harry, Ron and Hermione had just sat down to dinner with Luna with them for the second time that day, when a most unexpected person came up to their table. It was Marietta Edgecombe. "Harry," she began tentatively, "if it isn't too much of a problem for you, Cho and I--we'd really appreciate if you could come over to our table for a bit. We have some things we'd like to say to you."

"Well, OK," Harry said, not knowing what else he could do. He hoped Cho wouldn't be suicidal or something like that when he starting talking to her.

"Thanks," Marietta said, and led Harry to the table where Cho was sitting by herself.

After Harry and Marietta had both sat down, Marietta began, "I guess I'll say my bit first, then leave you two to talk privately." Harry nodded along with Cho, wondering where this was all going. "I'm here to apologize for--for what I did last year. I was afraid that Umbridge would find us all out eventually and we'd all be expelled, or worse. Really cowardly, you must think, trying to save my own skin. It's just that my mother works for the Ministry, and she believed wholeheartedly all of Fudge's nonsense about you and Dumbledore being--being wrong about You-Know-Who being back. I couldn't face the thought of being expelled by Umbridge for being in the D.A. and having to go home to my mother and explain--I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses, but she's my mother, even if she's wrong, and she works for the Ministry, so if she lost her job we'd really be in trouble, see I live alone with her, my dad left us." Pausing to regain her composure, Marietta continued, "Of course we all found out during the inquiry how Umbridge had planned to try and get you expelled from the start--unbelievable, sending Dementors against you--well, I don't have to tell you all this, I just want to say for what it's worth that I'm sorry for what I did, I was completely wrong, you were right--appeasement of--of people like Umbridge, it never works, they'll go for you sooner or later."

"It's alright," Harry said. He had been somewhat victorious; he could afford to be somewhat magnanimous. "Everyone was terrified of Umbridge and what she could do next, but we're well shot of her now. We have to focus on the real enemy, enough of these petty grudges."

Marietta smiled gratefully. "Thanks," she said. "You really are a Gryffindor--brave as a lion. Though I certainly haven't lived up to the Ravenclaw reputation for intelligence. Well, I'll go now; Cho has some things she'd like to say to you in private." Marietta headed off, leaving Harry alone with Cho.

"Hi," Harry said.

"Hi," Cho responded with equal awkwardness. "Look," she said quickly, "I'm here to apologize too. You see--I've been seeing Psychomage, and I've been talking to her about how I've been feeling ever since--since Cedric died." She swallowed and continued, "About the way I acted last year--I just want to say I'm sorry if I upset you, the reason for all my moods--it wasn't your fault, I had my own problems and I'm sorry if I took them out on you."

Harry honestly hadn't given much thought to Cho or their fights or their breakup--he'd had much more pressing matters on his mind. He said, "You don't have to feel bad about that, I'm not upset or angry with you or anything, and you certainly don't have to apologize for feeling sad."

Cho gave him a half-smile. "Thanks. It's just that, you know, for the longest time I felt like I was literally cursed. Everyone I cared about--well, my parents are divorced, Cedric--" her voice cracked a bit--"was murdered, when I invited Marietta to the D.A. she--she told Umbridge about it--I was afraid that I'd somehow--somehow rubbed my curse off on you as well, and I'd hate that."

Listening to this, Harry realized how little he had tried to get to know Cho while they were dating. And he felt ashamed, felt like he had treated her as a piece of arm candy instead of as a real human being. "Cho, you're not cursed. And you haven't 'done' anything to me. If anything, I should be apologizing to you for being such an insensitive jerk last year."

"Oh stop it," Cho said, this time with a bit of playfulness. Turning serious again, she said, "I also want you to know that if you need--if you need any help, I'm with you a hundred percent. Not that you'd probably need any help from me, you've faced--you've faced You-Know-Who four times and I can barely face my own fears. Well, you are a Gryffindor; I guess I'll never be as brave as you--"

"You are brave," Harry insisted, "you are facing your fears, and a whole lot else. I'm no hero. I'm just a dumb kid who keeps stumbling into mortal peril. Everyone has to face their fears, and I'm no better at it than most people."

"You know that's not true," Cho said with a smile. "But you're right, we all have to face our fears--I guess that's what growing up is."

"I guess so," Harry said, unhappily reminded of the great fear he would have to face. But he tried to be cheerful. "Ready for Quidditch?"

"You bet," said Cho with a smile. "Ready to be slaughtered?"

"In your dreams," Harry grinned back at her, and they shared a laugh for the first time in months.

* * *

While Harry talked with Cho, Ron went around the Great Hall looking for the players from last year's Gryiffindor Quidditch team in order to determine what time they would all be available for team try-outs. Faced with the prospect of sitting alone with Luna, Hermione went back to her dorm.

She found Lavender and Parvati there, neither of whom seemed remotely giggly. "We just got back from Divination with Firenze," Parvati said. "The stars say that we're in for some serious trouble. But I guess you probably could've figured that out anyway."

Hermione sighed. "I suppose we'll all have to prepare for the worst."

Lavender said, "That's what I hate so much. We're like sitting ducks, not knowing what the hell is going on or what's going to happen to us, You-Know-Who could be anywhere, who knows what he's planning, the Death Eaters could break out from Azkaban any minute--"

"I know what you mean," said Hermione. "And the really dreadful thing for me is, not only are my friends and I in danger, but my parents--well, during the first war, V-Voldemort would wipe out entire families, and my parents are Muggles! If anything ever happened to them because of me, I don't know what I'd do--"

"My family too," Lavender said. "And knowing that they trust me. I live with my dad and stepmum, they're both Muggles; my mum's a witch, but she divorced my dad when I was three, and--well, we haven't had much to do with each other since. She lives in Australia now with her new family. So I was raised by my dad, and then my stepmum too when he married her. Maybe because he's a single parent and I'm an only child, my dad's always been sort of protective. So when I got my letter from Hogwarts, he started trying to find out as much about the wizarding world as he could. Unfortunately," she smiled dryly, "most of his information came from the Daily Prophet. So he actually believed all of the Ministry's crap last year about Harry and Dumbledore, you know, making it up. And it was really hard, because he's my dad, and I love him, and it was a lot that he let me go into a world he knows nothing about and which he associates with the woman who left us both. But I figured I was old enough to have to make my own decisions, so I joined the D.A. My dad went mental when he got the owl from the Ministry about You-Know-Who being back--I was afraid he's actually make me leave Hogwarts, leave the whole wizarding world. But my stepmum was great. She really took my side, said that I wasn't a baby anymore, that my dad couldn't take protect me from life forever, that I had already dealt with quite a lot, and that she was honored to have in her family someone that was so brave. I had this feeling, you know, of such relief, that my father and stepmother finally understood this whole huge part of my life and were actually proud of me."

"It was like that for me as well," Hermione said. "I'm so happy that they trust me, but at the same time I'm terrified that they might be wrong to do so."

"Yeah," Parvati said. "My mum's the protective one; you should've seen her when they got the Ministry owl. You see, my dad's a wizard, from a very old pureblood family in Gujarat. So when he fell in love with a Muggle girl in London, his parents and whole family back in India went ballistic. But he married my mum anyway and they stayed in England, and Padma and I grew up in both the wizarding and Muggle worlds.

"Anyway, when they got the owl, my mum was hysterical. She said we ought to leave the country immediately, move in with her relatives in India or Canada or the States; that she couldn't leave her little girls in danger for a moment longer. But my dad said no, that there's no running from these Dark Wizards, they'll come after you sooner or later and that the only option was to fight them. He said he was really proud of Padma and me too, which was really nice. My dad's also trying to get in contact with some of his family in India, which is, well, not easy. But then, what is?"

* * *

Ron had found out from both Andrew Kirke and Jack Sloper what times during the following week they would be free for try-outs and now went to catch up with Ginny. As the early September days were still long and mild, she was doing her homework outside. After he'd found out when she'd be available for try-outs, he asked, "So, how d'you like having Lupin back?"

"It's awesome," she answered. "I outduelled everyone in the class today with the Expelliarmus. Lupin says I have some of the best reflexes in the school, no wonder I'm so good at Quidditch." Ron remembered Ginny during the D.A. lessons, and at the Battle of the Department of Mysteries. And during their Quidditch games last year. He'd always thought of her as his little sister who needing protecting, but he had to admit to himself that when it came to dueling or Quidditch she could probably beat him out. Ginny had also shown better judgment than he had in choosing her electives; she was taking both Arithmancy and Muggle Studies and doing quite well in them.

"That's great," Ron said. Then he blurted out what he had really wanted to ask her. "Are you still going out with Dean Thomas?"

"Yes," Ginny answered. "Really, I don't know what your problem with me dating different guys is. I swear, sometimes you remind me of those lunatic Muggle men in Afghanistan who try to control their female relatives' every fart."

"Muggles in where?"

"Never mind," Ginny said.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt, that's all," said Ron.

"Ron, I'm fifteen, I don't need you to take care of me," Ginny said. "After I've been possessed by You-Know-Who and fought with the Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries, I can't say I find teenage guys very scary. Besides," she smiled at him mischievously, "none of my boyfriends has ever left me stranded while he stared goggle-eyed at some other girl."

"And just what is that supposed to mean?" Ron was hot with indignation.

"Just that when it comes to feelings and relationships," Ginny said smoothly, "you always were a little slow."

* * *

"You know," Lavender said, "it seems like just yesterday we were on our first train to Hogwarts, getting all excited about being Sorted and learning magic. And at the same time that all feels like it was a million years ago, like something from a completely different planet."

"I don't think anyone could ever have imagined what would happen," Hermione said. "We were so young then."

"We're still young," Parvati said. "And who can tell what'll happen to all of us in the future? Even Firenze doesn't know."

"I miss it," Lavender said. "I miss being--being so innocent, thinking the world's greatest tragedy was not having lip gloss to match my outfit. Why does this have to happen to us, what did we do to deserve all of this--all of this evil?"

"I wonder what it was like for the generation before us," Parvati said. "With You-Know-You--I just never thought that we'd be the generation who'd have to fight the final battle."

"Well, we are," Hermione said. This was not the Hermione that Parvati and Lavender had met five years ago, the girl who had read facts from books. This was a young woman who had learned truths from life. Now she waxed poetic: "It's the Age of Anxiety; we live in a world of war and terror. We'd have to face it all sooner or later. Innocence must eventually give way to experience, and at sweet sixteen, we're all older and wiser."