Loyalty In Darkness

"... we might not make it next time! Please, Sirius! Please!" The plea came from her heart and registered itself in her eyes. She couldn't remember a time when she'd ever come to Sirius for anything. He was her husbands' best friend. They were mere casual acquaintances. Yes, there was mutual respect there, love as well, but those things blossomed from the friendship that existed between he and James. Not he and she.

Sirius exhaled heavily. "Lily... you know... you know he will come for me first. I am not the right choice for this. I'm not. Look at my past..."

"You were a school boy, Sirius. Now you're a man. A man who happens to be my husbands' best friend. There was nothing that you wouldn't do for him and he for you, no matter how immature or trivial. This is real, Sirius. The threat of Voldemort is very real. Would you turn your back on him now, when he most needs you? On me? On the child that we christened as your godson?"

Her words struck a chord with him. He'd been there. He'd seen James' son come into being. He'd been the third hands to hold him. The third hands to look into wide, startling green eyes. The third to admire a mean tuft of black hair - hair that had obviously come from James' gene pool, as Lily's hair was the color of a raging fire flecked with gold. Harry James Potter was his godson. But still....

"You are the childs' godfather, Sirius."

"This isn't what I want, Lily. This isn't what Dumbledore wants. You heard him. He told you. Voldemort will come for me first..."

"And you would die, Sirius. You would die before you betrayed James. Before you betrayed Harry. Before you betrayed me. What fear is there in death, Sirius? In honorable death, when cowardly death and murder is all around us? We could all die tomorrow, today, right now in an instant, in a flash of light..." Her voice trailed off. The lean escapes she and James had made from Voldemort, from the clutches of death, flashed across the landscape of her mind. Twisted plots, traps and lurid scenes of death that she had witnessed cast a shadow on her heart, certainly. But they hadn't taken her edge. Her sense. The knowledge in her soul that she and James would certainly not live forever, but at all costs, Harry had to live.

"What about Lupin? What about Peter?"

"James doesn't trust any of them as he trusts you. You know that. Yes, those are his best friends as well. But you, Sirius, you are like a brother. Lupin is ill. If the hour should come... all would be lost if there were a full moon. Peter isn't confident enough..."

"But he is in the Order..."

"That means nothing to me. You are in James' heart. That is what is most important. Please Sirius. Time is..." Lily struggled to form the words that she knew were true, yet afraid to speaking for fear they would come into being. She inhaled shakily, and swallowed her fear.

"Time is running out. Dumbledore says this is the only way. Seal the secret into one soul. I pick yours, Sirius."

Sirius could barely stand to see the tears gathering in Lily's eyes. But something inside him wouldn't allow him to submit. He wasn't afraid to die. In a time where friends and relatives were disappearing at an alarming rate, one had to put death in it's perspective. He wasn't afraid to die. He was afraid to fail. To fail and cost Lily, James and Harry their lives. The responsibility was enormous, especially for a man whom hadn't had very many is his life.

"Is this what James wants?"
Finally, the ghost of a smile touched the sunkissed face of Lily Potter.

"It is his most ardent wish. It is my most ardent wish, Sirius."

For the first time in weeks, Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "You have a lot more faith in me than you used to, Lily Potter."

"Time changes everything, Sirius. And you aren't the show-off little git you used to be."

At the lightening of the conversation, Sirius felt his resolve strengthening.

"Okay," he submit, quietly, a hoarseness to his speech. "I'll do it."

Lily, overtaken by gratitude, threw herself into his arms, tears coursing down her cheeks.

"Thank you, Sirius. Thank you. I'll send James tomorrow. I'll send word for him to come. Then the charm can be performed."

Sirius nodded quietly, words escaping him entirely. In an instant she disappeared through his front gate, the moon highlighting her silhouette and the small bundle clutched in her arms.

"Damn Lily!" James cursed, his Ogden's Firewhisky slopping out of the glass he balanced on a small dancing table in Sirius's house.

Sirius ran his hands through his freshly cropped hair. He'd told James of Lily's visit the night before, not knowing his best friend would take it so badly.

"James, she's scared..."

"She was out here, in the middle of the night, out in the open, endangering our son..."

"James, mate, we're all in danger, regardless of the time of day. Or where we hide, or where we try to hide..." He trailed off, letting his own words wash over him. He recovered before James could speak.

"The point is that she's scared. She begged me. And I couldn't refuse..."

"You're Harry's godfather. I know that you take that seriously. But what she's asking you to do..."

Sirius sighed. James could be a bigger worrier than Lily sometimes.

"I told her I would. I'm a man of my word."

James grinned unexpectantly. "She's scared, but she's tough."

Sirius gave a smirk. "Tough as dragon hide, that one."

"I've always felt that you should do it, Sirius. But I never would've asked you like that."
"It's an honor mate. It's an honor and a privilege. I am his godfather. I am supposed to protect him. And we're like family. If I can help, I want to. But I tried to tell Lily... for Voldemort, I'm going to be the obvious choice. I'm going to be his first choice."

James sipped his firewhisky slow, turning Sirius' words around in his head. Sirius would be the first choice. And though Sirius was Harry's godfather, making him the secret keeper wasn't savvy enough. James could feel it. It wasn't tricky enough. Voldemort would come for Sirius first. And Sirius would die. The idea began to choke James up on the inside, making it hard for him to breath and the firewhisky toss and rumble in his stomach. He would die because of a half-baked plan. A plan based on loyalty and not intellect dashed with a certain amount of deviousness. Besides, information was leaking all over the place. People who were supposed to be safe were turning up dead or not turning up at all. Even the Longbottoms, newly married and with son, were starting to fear the end and they were under Ministry protection. James shook his head in disgust and frustration. If not Sirius then who? He knew he could trust Sirius, even if some of the other members of the Order were not so sure. James turned to his friend and took notice of the manic glint in his eye.

"Wormtail."

James' mind shut down, his head shook adamantly.

"No."
"Prongs, come on, mate. He'd be the last one that Voldemort would come for."
"No, Sirius. He'd fall apart at the seams."

"You won't have to worry about him falling apart! Voldemort would never ever come for Peter. Peter is infamous for not knowing a damn thing about magic. Why in the world would Voldemort come for him?"
James stood and began to pace as the table holding his cup began to tango.

"Sirius, that's way too risky..."

"What's the risk? It's bloody brilliant. It's so damned crazy, no one would even think we'd be that nutters. He's a wallflower James. No one would ever suspect him. We, me and you and Lupin, we're notorious. Everyone for a thousand miles knows our names. He's a tagalong. He's always been a tagalong. To make him secret keeper is priceless."

The idea began to take shape in James' mind. Peter was a good candidate because he wasn't the obvious choice. If James was Voldemort, he would never interrogate Peter. For what? Waste of time. The idea began to have some solidarity.

"What if he won't..."

"James, he'd muggle fight with a dammed acromantula if you asked him to. He'd do anything that you said. Anything. And he hero worships you. He'd never turn you over."

"Lily's not going to like this..."
"Don't tell her. Make her think it's still me. Good for her not to know anyway. She's got enough to be getting on with. What with lil' Harry wailing all the time... let her rest peacefully thinking that I'm the one."

James smiled at his old friend, his mind changed almost completely.

"Okay. It's settled. We'll go to Dumbledore. We'll go now. Contact Peter. Matter of fact, transform and go to him. I'm off to Hogwarts. Dumbledore is there. You come later and bring him. I'll try to fend of Lily. Tell her Dumbledore wants to see me."
"Good plan. See you in a bit, Prongs."
"In a bit, Padfoot."

They were gathered in a circular room off the main room that was the Headmaster's office. It was darker and books reigned every wall save one, which was a huge stone fireplace, from floor to ceiling, which opened up to reveal the nights sky. Mysterious bits and bobs, evidence of the depths of Dumbledore's mastery of magic, were here and there, but in a clearing in the middle of the room sat a gold cauldron, a chair made like a throne and three squishy chintz armchairs. Dumbledore reigned supreme his usual benign grin on his face, yet it didn't quite reach his eyes as he replayed the conversation he'd had with James a moment earlier:

"Peter... why I confess it is a strange choice, but James... surely he isn't privy to the kind of danger you are in. It is tantamount. Let me, or even Minerva..."

"The school needs you both. I will not endanger Hogwarts students by making you secret keeper. I could imagine Voldemort coming here... putting all the children and all the teachers at risk... he's desperate, Dumbledore. He wants to get his hands on us... on my son. He' do anything. I can't have all these children and all these people on my conscience..."

"James, surely Lily isn't in accordance..."
"I haven't told her. She thinks it will be Sirius."

"She's your wife. This deception..."

"Is necessary. She worries every minute of the day. Nightmares, anxiety of what

cold be. I cannot do that to her. She's happier not knowing."

"And this is your decision? You and Sirius? Your final decision?"

James had nodded resolutely and sat stubbornly in his chair, reminding Dumbledore of a happier time. A calmer time. A time of youth that may or may not be in the picture for Harry Potter. His future was about to lie in the hands of a man that, despite his friendship for James, Dumbledore didn't all together trust.

A knock came from Sirius and Peter. James, whom was already present, stood side by side with Dumbledore.

"James has told me of your decision, Sirius, and I must admit, it seems the most logical thing to do. But you are the child's godfather, Sirius."

"Yes, but it's a gamble with me, Dumbledore. It's a sure thing with Peter. And Peter would be glad. Tell him Peter."

"I can... Dumbledore. I can and I will. James is my friend. His baby and his wife are my priority."

"You must understand, Peter, you cannot even whisper where they hide to yourself. Not another living soul can know."

Peter squirmed in his chair, trying to pretend to be oblivious to the penetrating stare Dumbledore burned through him with.

"Never. These are my friends. I would never..."

Sirius felt his hackles raise for a reason he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"Okay. Let's just perform the charm..."

But even as Dumbledore began to present the instructions to James, the fireplace behind him emitted a dazzling green light that cast itself on everyone and everything in the room. A lithe form emerged.

"James! What...." Lily Potter looked around, confusion and then understanding etching her classical features. "You were going to do this without me?"

James at least had the decency to look contrite.

"Lily, please this is for me to handle. Not you..."

"Are you telling me the well-being of my son isn't for me to handle? James..."

Sirius decided to step in. "Lily... it will go as planned. It's okay. We just wanted to talk to Dumbledore about it. That's all." He snuck an uneasy look at James who tried to keep his face blank.

Lily finally took notice of Peter.

"Peter... are you here about the Order?"

He looked as blank as James.

"What... what's going on?"

"Fabian and Gideon... no one can find them. They were last seen dueling with Death Eaters... I came to report to Dumbledore."

Dumbledore's expression changed. "We must go. Where is the boy?"
Lily shot a look at James. "He's with Alice and her son. Quickly James. We must go to help."

James gave a nod and headed for the fire. Dumbledore stopped him.

"I'll go. You handle this."

In a whirr of smoke and ashes, Dumbledore and Lily disappeared in the flames. Sirius moved toward it as well.

"I'm going to go help."

"Padfoot..."
"You don't need me here, Prongs. Perform the charm. Quickly." He too disappeared in the flames, leaving James and Peter alone. James turned to Peter.

"Okay. You can handle this, right Wormtail?"

"Anything for you James. For you and Lily and little Harry."

"His future, his security is in your hands. Don't let me down."

"I would never, James. I could never. I will defy the Dark Lord forever to keep you and your family safe."

Peter leaned in, his eyes wide, his heart pounding in his ears, his blood racing, as James whispered the words, the magic words and the secret information in his ears.

"Fidelous," James whispered, his voice taking on a raspy quality.

Golden light emanated from Peter's chest; his back arching with the force and the pain of the charm. He cried out, before falling back into the chintz chair.

"Peter! Peter! Are you alright?"
Peter shook his head groggily. "Yes... yes, I'm fine. Is that it?"

James nodded, light from the fireplace catching a hint of his five-o-clock shadow and throwing it into sharp relief.

"Yes. That's it."

Members of the Order were out searching for the Prewett brothers. The hidden cove was empty, save the shouting voices of Lily and Sirius.

"HOW COULD YOU?!??!"

"He's in the Order, Lily. He's our best friend."

"I chose YOU, Sirius!

"It was too damn obvious, Lily!"

Lily felt rage and disbelief coursing through her blood.

"You know what is obvious, Sirius? That you and James went behind my back, after I begged you, and decided to seal our fate with Peter Pettigrew! You, Sirius Black, have condemned us to die!"

A chill went up Sirus' spine. No. He hadn't. He merely tried to throw Voldemort off. Throw the Dark Lord off the trail. To die? Peter would never turn on James. It was unthinkable. Just as improbable as him even being suspected by Voldemort. The plan was bloody brilliant - but the look on Lily's face told him she wasn't even halfway convinced. He tried to regroup.

"Lily... please. James and I have discussed it. It's the best thing. Besides, Peter wanted to."

"Sirius, Peter was my last resort. LAST resort!"

"Lily. Please. Try to see past what I know you feel right now. I know you're upset and disappointed. But James is only thinking of you. You and the baby and so am I. Lily. I beg of you..." His voice trailed off roughly, his dark eyes locking with her emerald green ones.

"Sirius, Peter... Peter can barely take care of himself..."

"I will look over him. I will watch over him. I will make sure no harm comes to him. No opportunity for him to slip into Voldemorts' hands. You have my word."

The fire was burnt out of Lily. She slid down into the chair behind her, winded, exhausted mentally and physically. The fight never ended. The fear and the fight always seemed to continue. Darkness was spreading all over the wizarding world and the only key to the light was in constant danger. Sirius sat at her side, uncharacteristically taking one of her hands in his own.

"I will protect Peter. I will look out for you and James. And I will protect my godson." He grabbed her chin and made her focus on him, despite the tears gathering in her eyes.

"With my life, Lily. With my life."