The Way That They Were

The Way That They Were

In an old apartment block on the dodgy side of London, a man in a rumpled suit carrying a battered old suitcase lets himself in. The man looks tired, worn out; he has lines on his face that should not be there for a man of his age. He smells of books and chocolate.

The arcane dog sense that Sirius possesses means that he can always smell Remus before he sees him. It is a sense that the two men have in common. A heightened sense of smell and awareness.

Footsteps slowly climb the steps then they pause just outside the door. For several minutes there is nothing. The suspense is killing Sirius. He knows Remus is standing on the other side of the door, worrying his lip in that characteristic way of his, unsure of what will happen next. It has been almost fourteen years and much has changed.

Remus has always thought too much and because of this has never has taken charge of his life. Has never taken action in life. It shows in his face and in the look of his house as were. The furnishings are as they were, all in the same place and all in pristine condition. If anything worried Sirius while he was in Azkaban, it was that his friend, his lover, would stop existing without Sirius there to take charge and make decisions.

For once though he wants Remus to take charge, to try to decide what he wants.

***

It has been half an hour.

***

Sirius stares at the door and itches to open it as it has been two hours. He has already fallen asleep once.

***

Remus stares at his door. He should be able to just walk in there. But he can smell Sirius, all wet dog and dirt. It is a smell that seems foreign and distant. He isn't sure what will happen when he opens that door. He saw Sirius in the shack. Haunted and gaunt, a man. No longer the smiling and cheerful not-yet-man of his memory.

As he stands and looks at the door, these thoughts keep running through his head. He wonders if Sirius will grow impatient like he used to and pull open the door.

***

It has been two hours and still the door remains unopened. Remus realises that it is his turn to take charge. He takes out his keys and unlocks the door. He can almost feel Sirius tense on the other side. He wonders what Sirius would do if he just stood there with the door unlocked. Sirius, on the other side, is wondering how long Remus can prolong this experience.

Remus opens the door a crack and looks in; he can see the rigid lines of Sirius sitting on his couch. The tension is insane. Remus realises that this is insane. Then something snaps. He realises that for the last thirteen years this is all he has been waiting for. He throws the door open, dumps his bag on the ground with a loud thud. Sirius spins around.

"I thought you were never going to come inside," Sirius smiles that rueful smile of his. It is not as bright as it once was and it no longer quite reaches his eyes.

"Well, I do so like my door. We have a very fond and special relationship. I thought it best not to subject you to our passionate embraces." Remus lets his smile turn into a somewhat wicked curve. Sirius laughs at this and Remus realises just how easy it is to be around him.

Sirius gets up, grabs Remus and kisses him. It starts off tentatively and it feels strange. Remus pulls him closer and parts Sirius's mouth with his tongue. Sirius moans and shoves Remus against the wall.

Remus is amazed that after all these years they still know so much about each other's bodies. Sirius kisses Remus along his jaw-line. Remus groans. Their bodies still fit together like pieces of a puzzle. Everything feels the same except for the fact that they are older and Sirius is skinnier. Remus can feel his ribs protruding from under his shirt; he can count all twelve of them.

Sirius breaks apart from Remus and looks at him. His mouth appears almost bruised and a bite mark is already forming on his throat. "Moony, are you counting my ribs?"

Remus looks sheepish, "Yes... I'm sorry. I was shocked at how thin you were... I wondered if I could count your ribs."

"So while making out with me, instead of thinking, 'Wow, this is nice' or 'my brain has turned to mush because of Sirius' touch', instead of these, you were thinking about my health?" He throws Remus a devilish smile. "You really haven't changed, have you?"

Remus sighs and pulls Sirius closer. He brushes his lips with his own and looks into Sirius' eyes. "No, I guess I haven't. But have you?"

Sirius looks down at Remus' chest. Remus knows that this talk could probably wait but it would only prolong the inevitable. He has to know. He needs to know.

"I honestly don't know Remus. Azkaban is a horrible place and as I said at the Shack, I had an awful time struggling with the memory that I was responsible for James death. I had no idea how I was going to face you. But there you were, with it all worked out as usual. It made me so happy that I had to actively try and not shove you on the bed and, well, do what we've been doing."

Remus laughs, "I do not think poor Mr Weasley would have appreciated that."

"Or Hermione and Harry for that matter. Probably not the best way to introduce yourself to your Godson. But I take it that you wouldn't have objected?"

"Well, as a teacher I would have definitely objected - that is not something I need my students seeing. But other than that....well, I would much prefer to be kissing you right now than talking." Remus grabs Sirius and pulls him into a kiss. The kiss is fierce and filled with every feeling, every emotion that Remus has had over the past fourteen years. Sirius's knees buckle. He grabs Remus back.

Remus then trails kisses along Sirius's jaw line and behind his ear. Sirius moans and starts pulling at Remus's shirt. Remus helps Sirius by taking off his tie and his belt. By the time he finishes that, Sirius has unbuttoned his shirt and is running his hands over Remus's shoulder blades. Remus pulls away briefly to and pulls Sirius's shirt off over his head.

Sirius begins to make his way down Remus's chest, leaving little bite marks on his way. Remus groans and arches his back. He pulls Sirius up and off the ground. Sirius wraps his legs round Remus's waist - the gentle teacher may look frail but he has the strength of ten men. Kissing him the entire way, Remus carries Sirius to the bedroom.

***

Remus awakens to find Sirius curled up under his left arm, sleeping soundly. He had worried that Sirius might wake up in the little of night that was left but the man had not moved once. Remus's stomach rumbles and he realises that he had not eaten dinner last night. He shifts slightly. Sirius does not stir so he levers himself out of the bed. He puts on yesterday's shirt and pants and leaves the apartment. Half an hour later he returns with two brown paper bags, both filled with food.

***

Sirius wakes up to the smell of pancakes and bacon and eggs. He breathes in deeply and arches his back. For the first time in a long, long while, he feels properly rested. It seems like old times, waking up to the sound of bacon sizzling and the golden aroma of pancakes, waking up and listening to Remus as he hums a tune off-key. Sirius rolls off the bed and opens Remus's cupboard in the search for clothes. He opens the bottom drawer, the one which had always been his. Inside he finds clothes that he hasn't seen for fourteen years. It does not appear that the drawer has once been touched in that time. He pulls on a pair of his pyjama bottoms and walks out to the kitchen.

Remus is dishing out the food onto plates just as Sirius comes in and he grins at Sirius. "I see you have found your clothes. Did you have a good sleep?"

"Yes, I did have a good sleep, probably because someone kept me up half the night... Remember, I don't have your insatiable stamina." Sirius sits down at the table and looks over at Remus who has started to blush. Sirius had forgotten how easy it was to make Remus blush.

"Well, then at least you'll be hungry because you're not allowed to leave the table until your plate is empty." Remus employs his teacher voice which Sirius finds disturbingly attractive.

"Yes professor." Sirius grins at Remus and Remus grins back. Sirius knows that while a lot has changed and will never again be the same, he and Remus, at least will go back to the way that they were.