To Make Her Love Him

Chapter 8

Ginny ran straight from the astronomy tower to her dormitory without stopping for a second. No one was in the halls so she expected that everyone was at dinner, which was lucky because she didn't feel like facing anyone now. Not after what she just did.

When she got to her bedroom, she sat down against her bed board and hugged her knees tight. Tears began to fall from her eyes and she sat there for a half an hour in the dark, doing nothing but trying to disregard what she had just done. Just then Hermione walked into the room. "Ginny! Where have you been? I was getting worried I thought you ran away or something. What'd you do all day?" She said out of breath.

Ginny jumped and replied, "Nothing."

Hermione was confused by the shortness of her answer, she noticed that Ginny had been crying and she said, "Ginny, what's the matter? Are you still upset about Harry?"

"What? Oh, that, no. No I'm not."

"Well good! I'm glad."

"Don't be."

"Huh? Why not? I don't understand."

Ginny had to tell Hermione about Draco eventually, and it was now or never, "Herm there's something wrong with me."

"What're you talking about there's nothing wrong with you."

"But there is. There has to be. This isn't me, it can't be. Why do I feel like this? Why do I let Malfoy do those things to me?" Ginny began crying a little harder now.

"What? What do you--Oh... really..."

"He's everything I hate. He's everything that I'm supposed to be against. But the only time I ever feel anything is when--" Ginny paused and looked up slowly. "Don't tell anyone please."

"I-I won't."

"The way they would look at me I-I just couldn't--"

"I won't tell anyone. I wouldn't do that."

"Why can't I stop, Hermione? Why do I keep letting him in?"

"Do you love him? I mean it's ok if you do... because you can't help loving someone. And Ginny it's ok if you don't. You're going through a really hard time and you're--"

"What? Using him? What's ok about that?"

"It's not that simple."

"It is. It's wrong. I'm wrong. Tell me that I'm wrong please! Please don't forgive me! Oh God please don't!" Ginny covered her face in her hands and drenched them with tears.

"Well, Ginny as long as you know now that you were wrong then it's fine."

"I do know... but I can't ever take back the things I've done."

"Well, what things have you done? Just snog right? Maybe fondle a bit? Right?"

Ginny didn't say anything, she just looked out the window and hoped that Hermione wouldn't make her say it out loud.

"Ginny! What were you thinking?!"

"I don't know!" She turned away from the window and looked back at Hermione. "I wasn't thinking! I screwed it up. Everything. Harry--"

"Yeah, you know what? You did screw up!"

"I can't stop Hermione! I've tried and I can't!"

Hermione paused and said grimly but encouragingly, "You can."

"I can't! I just--god I need help! Please help me!!"

"I just don't understand. I don't understand why you would go to see someone like Malfoy."

"I know I--I thought I had it under control and then...I didn't. It's just the things he did--it was the only way that I could feel something. I guess there's just something wrong with me."

"Gin, there's nothing wrong with you. You don't need Malfoy or anyone to make you feel good."

"Don't I? I mean, Hermione I felt nothing before him. There was nothing going on in my mind or in my heart."

"But Ginny you are more than this, and I want you to stop. I love you Gin, I can't see you like this."

"It's just, it took me away from myself, I felt... free."

"I understand that, but it's wrong. People can get hurt."

"If Harry ever knew about it, if he ever found out--"

"I know."

"No I don't think you do." Ginny stopped, she didn't exactly know how to put her feelings into words. It was so hard to express what she was thinking, seeing, experiencing. But, with a chance of mumbling, she continued, "I mean with Malfoy I was out of my mind. I did things I can't even--and if Harry knew I just couldn't--It won't happen again I promise. No more of this I'm finished."

"Good. I think it's right to give it up. No matter how good it feels."

"It's not worth it. Not if it messes with the people I love."

"You're right."

"And the sex wasn't all great. I mean I won't miss the secrecy and the guilt and the regret and stuff..."

"There you go."

"It's over."

"Exactly. It's over."

* * *

Ginny went to Madame Pomfrey the next day and told her that she wasn't feeling well, and though she didn't see anything wrong, she let Ginny stay in the hospital wing to make sure she was alright.

For the next couple days, Ginny tried to regain her mental strength. Every day Hermione visited her, bringing her news, food, and homework. On the third day of Ginny's stay, Hermione had finally told her the reason why Cho and Harry were back together. "Ron said that it was totally unexpected. He said that the minute she went up to Harry it was like he forgot everything and just fell for her all over again. But apparently he thinks that you and him can still flirt like before. He thinks that you won't care about Cho, which means that he most likely still likes you. He's probably just confused right now that's all."

After about a week Ginny decided that she had had enough of a break, and that it was time to face the music. She told Madame Pomfrey that she was feeling better, thanked her, and started for her dormitory. Her theory was that if she just focused on other things, then maybe she won't think about Draco anymore and that would be the end of it. So as she walked, she began mentally listing all the possible things she could think about, such as school, family, and helping other people with their problems.

Ready to try out her new resolution, she took a deep breath and walked into her common room, only to hear quite an inauspicious row going on.

"I don't think this is gonna work," said a gloomy voice that sounded like Hermione.

"But, it is, it's working," replied Ron hopefully. "Hermione please, I need you baby, I need you. I don't need her, I don't." For a moment there was silence, and then he continued, "Look, let me prove it to you ok? I'll go a month without seeing her. Not once I promise."

Another silence, then, "You're really that hooked on her aren't you? And all this time I was too blind to see it. I can't believe myself." She paused and then went on, "Go a week. One week without seeing her, mentioning her name, or anything else."

"Sure, fine that's easy!"

"Go a week and then we'll see." Ginny looked at Ron's face and he looked disbelievingly at Hermione, clearly this wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"We'll see?" he asked wearily.

"I dunno I just-- I guess we just both need some space. I can't believe I'm saying this."

"Are you saying you're gonna leave me?"

"I'm saying that I can't just let you get away with cheating on me Ron. I can't. I mean I don't even know how long this has been going on, and I don't know how you truly feel about her. I can't just keep going as normal after I caught you kissing another girl, even if it was just for a second."

"But don't you trust me when I say that it'll never happen again?"

"I'm sorry, but right now, I don't."

"Oh... alright... I understand." He turned to go up to his room, and soon after he was out of sight.

Ginny looked over at Hermione who still had no idea that Ginny was there. Hermione leaned against the arm of a chair and her face glowed in the fire as a single tear dripped down her cheek. She then stood and ran up the stairs when the tears began flowing.

Ginny could not believe what she had just witnessed. The beginning of what could be the break up of Ron and Hermione. She was stunned and surprised and she didn't know what she could possibly say to Hermione, so she left her common room once again and headed down to Hagrid's house to hang out with him for a while.

* * *

Ginny came back from Hagrid's house about an hour before dinner time, and she was on her way to her bedroom when she heard something coming from the broom closet. She cautiously walked over to it, not knowing what to expect. The noises sounded like two people, a girl and a boy. Ginny guessed that they were fooling around in the closet but since she wasn't sure, she slowly turned the handle and opened the door. The second the door opened enough however, her jaw dropped to the floor and wouldn't come back up.

Her guess was right about the girl and the boy, and her guess was right about what they were doing, but she would never have guessed who it was. Red hair, belonging to a boy, was making out with some blonde girl. They didn't notice Ginny watching them, so she made it clear. "Ron?" Ginny said sounding falsely surprised.

"Ginny!" He exclaimed. "What're you doing here?"

"I heard noises, now I know what they were, and who is this Ron?"

"Oh... this um... this is Veronica. She's in Ravenclaw."

"Oh, well that's nice, now where's Hermione?"

"Ginny please don't tell her. Please."

"Sorry, no can do, she's my best friend and I'm not gonna let her get hurt for you. Bye Ron."

Ginny then continued up the steps to tell Hermione what she just saw. As she was walking, she heard some commotion coming from the closet, and then she heard Ron yelling for her to stop. She ignored him and ran faster up the stairs so that he wouldn't catch up to her.

When she got to her bedroom she found Hermione reading a book on the window sill. She looked down and Ginny felt horrible that she had to be the bearer of bad news, but she had to do what she had to do. She approached her friend and hugged her tightly, and then she took Hermione's hands in her own, and let her down easy.

The night was filled with venting, mostly on Hermione's part, but some from Ginny. They talked until dawn and used tissues covered their beds, but it all paid off in the end because the two girls now had new resolutions. Hermione's resolution was that she would dump Ron and move on as soon as possible. Ginny's resolution was that she would tell Draco that what they were doing was going to end and that she was using him.

It was the end of January, and they promised that by the end of the week their resolutions would either be completed or they would be on the way to being completed. But when you set goals for yourself like these, they're usually easier said than done.

(A/N) AAHHHH!!!! R&R!! Shout out to V.K. and moo!

~Nuffy