Boys Don't Bruise

Of Books and Cleverness: Hermione and Ron

'Honestly... far too expensive... Just because he's not interested shouldn't mean- useless... I'll show him useless,' Hermione muttered under her breath, while skipping fiercely through the newest version of Hogwarts, a History, trying very hard not to tear a page.

He'd gone too far this time. He should have kept his big mouth shut. Saying it was her bible! The nerve! Sure, she liked books, but she'd never be so absorbed in them to think of it as her bible. She didn't live by Hogwarts, a History. She just liked to know what Hogwarts was all about. After all, he might have grown up with stories about the school, but she hadn't. But he couldn't think, could he? He always put his foot in. Argh! She would just slap him in the face with that "useless" book, if she were sure it wouldn't damage the cover.

Ron and his stupid comments. That just earned him at least a week of silence. And twenty points off the Weasley House. Let's see if he still was that quirky after a week. Let's see if he wasn't hurt!

Awful sun, Hermione thought. How am I supposed to read a book when you're blinding me! You're probably in league with Ron, trying to stop me from reading!

In the background, she heard madam Pince cough slightly.

Alas, is it time already?

Madam Pince had the subtlest of ways to let one know one's unwanted. So Hermione muffed up to her desk, asked if she could borrow the book again (she professionally ignored madam Pince's inquisitive look) and headed for the Great Hall to have some breakfast.

She hurried up to where Harry sat (she refused to think of having breakfast as sitting nearby Ron), threw down her book and started skimming the pages again. Maybe if she looked this up fast enough, she could bring it back before Care of Magical Creatures. And maybe, just maybe, Ron would notice it actually was a nice and interesting book. But she mustn't get her hopes up... It was Ron after all.

Suddenly, she heard Harry clear his throat.

'Say, Hermione, apparently not hungry, are you?'

What kind of question was that? Would she be sitting at the breakfast table if she wasn't hungry? What kind of game were those two playing? They probably had gone for a round of "predict Hermione". So they knew what she was like, did they?

'What? Oh, Harry... 'course I am. Just let me finish these few pages and I'll join you in your feast,' she said casually.

Harry started laughing, he tried to hide it by coughing, but he had always been so awful at that. Someone ought to tell him he was awful at that.

Oh heavens, it is going to speak, Hermione thought, as she saw Ron draw a breath.

''Mione... What are you reading there? Seems interesting,' said Ron.

Good gracious. Several syllables, she thought sarcastically. And I hate being called 'Mione... Can't just say HERmione, I'm sorry, can he?

'Oh, does it? I was under the impression that Hogwarts, a History was a dull, far too expensive book full of a word I'm not going to repeat and that it was useless unless it kept the fire in the Common Room burning... Or did I misunderstand you yesterday?' she said as angrily as she could. Bet they hadn't seen that one coming.

She had to get out. Sitting in front of those two, arguing over who knew her next move, made her stomach churn.

'Excuse me, but I suddenly realised I'm indeed not that hungry. I'm going to get the old copy from the-'

'Library,' said Ron.

She heard Harry laugh hysterically as she left the Great Hall.

So that was how he was going to play it? Mr Know-it-all who didn't need books unless he felt cold. Harry obviously chose his side. It was a guy-thing, right? Well, she didn't need them. She could have girl-things as well. She could be girlish.

They're just too thick to notice. They just look at the books I'm carrying, never at me, she thought, slightly disappointed. Ron never looks at me

.

But I'm better than them, always have been. In everything. If they ignore me, I'll ignore them twice as much. I've got other friends as well... Good friends. I'm popular. Lavender and Parvati tell me things. They don't think I worship books.

She put Hogwarts, a History back on the shelf and borrowed an older copy. Just to cross-reference.

Now, where is that exit? Oh yes...

She marched up to the right end of the library, took out her wand and tapped the wall thrice. She then made her way to Hagrid's Hut.

'Ah, there you are. Good morning, Lavender. Parvati.' she said as friendly as she possibly could. After all, they were her friends.

'Morning, Hermione. I see your two friends or your usual twenty huge books do not accompany you. That's a first,' Lavender sniggered.

'Say that again and I'll kick you in the shins,' she muttered under her breath. She did not carry twenty books, ever! Five at most...

'Pardon?' said Lavender, still smiling.

'I said there's a first for everything.' Hermione forced a happy face, asking herself what in the world could have made her so violent of late. But then again, she knew. It had been Ron.

Thinking of Ron... Where was he? He was going to be late.

Bad Hermione! Bad, bad Hermione! Don't think of Ron.

Ah, there he was, walking extremely slowly, as usual. He was not a minute too soon.

She hastily turned to face Lavender and Parvati again.

NO! Hermione, you git! Don't look at him. He doesn't see you either. Only the twenty huge books you seem to carry.

'How did you get here so fast? I thought you were in the library!' Ron's voice came from behind.

So you can think, can you? Did it hurt?

'Yes, I was. If you had read a certain book which would best remain nameless, you would have known there's an exit to the grounds behind the second bookcase on the extreme right.'

'A secret passageway?' asked Ron.

And of course, anything that involves the word secret gets Harry's attention... Ah, there he is.

'What secret passageway?' said Harry.

'Well, you could hardly call it a secret passageway, Ron, honestly. It's in Hogwarts, a History. D'you know how many people read Hogwarts, a History?'

Are they really that thick? Have they always been that thick?

'My point exactly, a secret passageway...' Ron said.

That does it, Hermione thought. I am out of here. Bye Ron, bye Harry, nice to have known you.

She trudged up to where Lavender and Parvati were sitting and joined them. Hagrid still was nowhere to be seen.

'What was that all about?' Parvati asked, surprised.

'Oh... it was nothing really...' Hermione sighed. 'It's just that Ron can be such a prat sometimes.'

'Ah, Parvati and her sister had a fair share of that as well,' Lavender giggled.

'Oh yes, that's right! You went to the Yule Ball with him and Harry, right?' Hermione said. 'He was very mature, I presume?'

'How very.' Parvati smiled. He's so... so...'

'Childish.'

'and...'

'Bloody ignorant.'

'He's really such a-'

'Boy.'

Hermione, Parvati and Lavender burst out in laughter.

'Hermione,' Lavender said, 'I've never heard you say bloody' (she whispered the word and started blushing furiously) 'before. What did he do?'

'The usual. I'm just fed up with it. Always badgering me about reading books. I can't help it if I like them. Should I annoy him because he likes chess and Quidditch?' Hermione felt a bit liberated. Parvati seemed to understand what she was talking about. 'He used to bug me about it, just occasionally, but lately he won't stop. I don't know what's got in to him. He acts like I've got my head in the books all the time! And I've only borrowed one from the library, this one,' she picked up Hogwarts, a History and pointed at it, 'and it's not like it's never come in handy...'

'Lately,' Parvati repeated. 'Would you say lately has been ever since the Yule ball?'

'Well, yes, around that time.'

Wow, she's really got the hang of Ron, hasn't she?

'I think I know what's bothering him,' she said.

'You do?' Hermione gasped.

'You went to the ball with Viktor Krum, right? He's just jealous.'

'Jealous?' It tasted like a completely different word when applied to Ron.

'He can't stop talking about you. And at the night of the Ball, he kept on asking everyone where you were,' Parvati explained. 'When you came in, he couldn't keep his eyes off you. He's just too thick to notice he really likes you. And I mean, really likes you.'

She winked at Hermione and Lavender giggled again.

'Really likes me?' Hermione's heart jumped. 'Me?'

Not your books, Hermione, she thought. Not your books, not your date and not even your bushy hair, but YOU.

'Yeah, just give him some time. He'll figure out eventually. Harry's on it,' Lavender said.

'Harry's on what?'

'On getting Ron to realise he's madly in love with you, of course.' She sighed romantically. 'And once he's done that, it'll just be a matter of time before you love-birds finally hit it off.'

'Excuse me?' Hermione choked. 'Hit it off? You've been reading one too many novels, Lavender-'

'Oh come on, Hermione! Don't act all Weasley on us now!' Parvati laughed 'You know darn well you are just as crazy about him. Everyone knows!'

'They do?' she asked.

'Of course! You're not that stealthy. I mean, for example, everybody tells you you're carrying too many books but you get mad at Ron. Not everyone, not just anyone, but Ron. Just because he hurts you most,' Lavender said in a very psychologist-like voice.

'Oh... I hadn't-' Hermione stuttered.

'But you've got time, right? And it's not like you've got to get together. You're with Viktor now, right?' Parvati said soothingly.

'What? Oh... I am? I mean, I-I am...'

At that moment, Hagrid announced the beginning of the lesson. Not that Hermione heard anything he said.

So was that it? That was bothering him? Had everyone but Ron and herself noticed she really liked him? Well, of course Ron hadn't noticed. He wouldn't notice it if she threw herself on him, barely dressed, screaming she craved for him.

Craved for him?

Oh Merlin, she thought. Of all the fine boys, all the smart and handsome and mature boys... How very typical of you, Hermione. Congratulations!

Oh, but I could never face him again! I'd start blushing and rambling and I'd be making no sense at all... Like I'm doing right now

And I'd get hurt! I would have to. It's Ron.

But Ron wouldn't. He couldn't get hurt. You couldn't pain him. She'd been awful to him all morning and he still was snapping at her and mocking her.

But... Didn't Parvati say he liked her back? And again, he hadn't noticed it. He's such a boy, she thought. An untouchable, immature, unbruisable boy, that's what he is!