Sweetest Goodbye

/Hate to love and love to hate her

Like a broken record player/

~ Sunday Morning, Maroon 5

I can see you, sitting, laughing, mouthing along to that muggle music you love so much. I open my mouth to make a snide comment as I walk past, but suddenly you turn and look into my eyes, and I am speechless. Time freezes and my breath catches as I suddenly notice the way the sunlight through the windows glints on your eyes, those green pools of light, brighter than the Slytherin banner, brighter than the most precious emeralds. I see things in your eyes that I know are not there; I see feelings that do not, cannot exist; I see hope that is merely part of my hope; I see desire that is just a product of my imagination. Every time I looked into your eyes in the past, those green tinted windows into your soul, I have seen things which I don't want to see - at first, hostility and anger; later on, hatred and occasionally triumph; more recently, curiosity and the worst - pity. I hate being pitied, especially by you - you with your perfect green eyes and perfect dark hair and perfect sun-kissed skin.

But today is different. Today, at the end of our seven years together (where have they gone?). Today, the last day I have to set eyes on you and the last day you have to hate me; hate me and pity me. After this, you can forget me. Shut me away in the recesses of your brain, like your school robes, flung into the far corner of a wardrobe. Forget me. Unless I give you something to remember.

I ask you to come, out of your compartment, and even though your friends warn you and give me dark looks, you ignore them and come anyway, emerald eyes still locked onto mine. I lead down the narrow corridor to an empty compartment and closed the door. You look at me, unasked questions glimmering in your eyes and I give in to temptation.

I push you against the closed door, gently, and bring myself closer to you. Suddenly I cannot breathe; you are so close. I bridge the gap between us, and our lips touch, with all the weight of an angel's conscience. I lean into the kiss a little more. You haven't moved so far, just stood there, but now you start to react and you start to move. Those lips I have fantasised about for so long are on mine, they're pulling me into a black hole from which I cannot escape, but I don't care - you are all that matters right now.

The kiss ends, and I pull away, gazing into your eyes once more. What I see in them shatters my heart into a thousand little shards, and tears me apart - there is nothing but the old pity, pity and a little sadness. You look at me for a moment more, and then you turn and walk out. Out of the compartment and out of my life forever.

I sit down, bury my head in my hands, and cry, alone.

* * * * *

"What did Malfoy want, Harry?"

"Probably to put the dark mark on him while he was distracted, the little b-"

Harry shook his head, not meeting any of his friends' eyes, and sat down.

"Harry, you look pale. Are you alright?" Hermione looked anxious.

Harry mumbled something about needing to be alone, and locked himself in an empty compartment. He sat, and started thinking over what had just happened...

Regret washed over him in waves, and as he felt the train slow down, he realised that he would never see him again.

On the way back to the Burrow with Ron and Ginny, he spoke to no one. Sensing his mood, they returned the favour. As soon as they arrived, he locked himself in the bathroom.

He sat down, buried his head in his hands, and cried, alone.

/And with a tear in my eye

Gave me the sweetest goodbye

That I ever did receive/

~ Sweetest Goodbye, Maroon 5