Screw You, Granger!

Screw you, Granger!

Or how to seduce McGonagall

Chapter one: The dare

How on earth had he gotten himself in this mess? He remembered very well how this mess had begun. He had been bragging to his friends about being able to seduce and screw everything that even remotely female. And if they acted well enough... he could do males too. Precisely on the point Granger had walked by. And overheard him bragging. She proposed a dare. Being a Slytherin... a dare is something you can't refuse. So he took the challenge. Now he wished he hadn't.

"Screw you, Granger!" he yelled.
How on earth was he going to seduce McGonagall. There was no way that he would be able to succeed without a love potion or something. Too bad they were banned. But he was in Slytherin. And Slytherins are known for a certain disregard of the rules. Maybe he could bribe Professor Snape for some piece of the action.

There were some nice sides about the dare too. Since Weasel King had been walking next to his Mudblood girlfriend he had dared him to seduce and screw Trelawney. And he couldn't get out of it, because he had first been placed under the Imperius Curse. Granger was furious. It was rather nice to see. Who would be worse of... him or Weasel King.

He smiled. Weasel King was worse off. Trelawney may be an old fraud but she sure would be able to see this one coming. And

And besides Granger had also a nice dare coming. That was the next part of the plan he had been brooding. Have Granger and Snape together. It was too gross to think about. But then again so was his having to shag McGonagall. He involuntarily shivered. Maybe he had caught a cold.

It didn't make the dare easier to accomplish however. He should've taken this dare while the stupid woman was still in St. Mungo's. But no, he had to brag after her return to Hogwarts.

Where was his father when he needed him? In Azkaban off all places. Sure he could escape at any given moment, but surely he'd write that he had done just that. Or else the Daily Prophet would have. The new Minister for Magic was more tolerant about writing about the Dark side.

The Daily Prophet didn't talk about imprisoned Death Eaters. Free roaming Death Eaters were much more interesting. Almost every day there was at least one article about his auntie Bella. It looked like she was right, that she really was the Dark Lords favourite...

Neither Bella nor his mother would be able to help him. They were women, for Merlin's sake! Not too noble women, but women non de less.

Writing to his dad's boss probably wasn't a good idea either, even though that was the most powerful wizard alive: You-Know-Who! Another option would be to write to his father, but if he wrote to the Dark Lord he'd have a useful job for a change. He'd probably say that he needed to shag the witch to gather information. He'd be a junior spy. Junior Death Eater. His mother would get a heart attack if she even knew how close he was to becoming a Death Eater. He could still hear her.

"Not until you are of age. Not until you've finished with school!"

Why is a good education so important to her anyway? The only thing she does with her education is make potions in order to look younger...

"Mr. Malfoy! Please explain what you are doing here..." McGonagall stood in front of him; glaring down at him. He had to think of something and he had to do it quick!