Left Outside Alone

Left outside alone

Left broken empty in despair
Wanna breath can't find air
Thought you were sent from up above

Sirius' death. It left me indeed empty and broken in despair. The air was pressed out of my lungs, I couldn't believe he was gone. I still can't believe it! I thought he couldn't die! Not when I found him. But it seems as though every adult that I care about is taken away from me within a few years of knowing them. First my parents, now Sirius...

If only he would have chosen to come back as a ghost. If only he had been painted. But if he had, wouldn't his mother have destroyed the painting? He certainly hadn't been her favourite son. And he hadn't seen a painting of Regulus in Grimmauld Place either. And judging by what she had done with the family tree of the Blacks. Blasted all the names of blood traitors off... well I can only imagine.

And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone

It feels like the previous year. Left outside the magical world. Mourning. Last year I was mourning the death of Cedric Diggory, a brave Hufflepuff, a Triwizard Champion, a friend. This year I have to mourn again. A bigger loss. The loss of my godfather.

Dumbledore still leaves me here. Left outside alone, the only one outside the magical world. Everyone is else is building up their defenses, trying to make their houses Voldemort-proof. It's not like it is going to work anyway. He destroyed my house together with my parents when I was only one. Maybe I even did that, by rebounding the curse upon him.

It's strange to know that you are the only one in the whole world that can stop the most evil wizard alive. That you must stop him or die trying. Another way I'm left outside alone with that maniac.

Someday you might understand
There's not much more to say
But I hope you find a way

Find a way to understand what everyone is saying without them being able to speak. Learn to find a way to defeat the ones that caused the hurting inside; the ones that have already hurt people and will hurt anyone that stands in their way! I wish it was that simple. But it's not. I don't have the power. Someday I will find out what the power is I possess and he doesn't! I know it's that power that can eventually save me. It saved me before, and I'm hoping it will save me again!

All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe
I need to pray

I pray that I will defeat the ones who have takes the ones I loved from me. I know I can defeat them. Here at least, I grow stronger as the hate, the evil gets me. I can use it against them; I will use it against them. That together with the power he doesn't possess makes me able to defeat him. I know I have to wait for Dumbledore to show me the powers I can use against him. I know Dumbledore has to tell me, Voldemort has to suffer a fate worse than death before dying. In a way he already has. I caused it, and I will cause it again and again.