Eat, It'll Help!

Author Notes: This fic was betaed by Deena from TQP. Many thanks for your help!

Eat, It'll Help!

"Eat, dear, it'll help." Remus still heard his grandmother's voice whenever he indulged in chocolate.

~*~

When he was a young boy, he used to stay with her quite often. He remembered her sitting room with its bulky, dark furniture. Remus loved the sitting room, which would have been very intimidating, had it not been for chocolate drawer. He could barely reach the drawer when he stood on tip-toes. Luckily, Gran seemed to think that chocolate was a cure-all, and she like to indulge him. Whether it was a scraped knee, a bump on the head, or a cut finger, Gran made him forget his pain with her kind words and her chocolate.

The first couple of months after The Bite had been difficult. Remus hadn't really been able to grasp the full implications of what had happened until a couple of years later. He noticed that his parents started to behave differently; his mum seemed to want to burst into tears whenever she saw him. She tried to hide it, but Remus wasn't stupid. His dad had tried to talk to him, but he hadn't managed to find the right words to make Remus understand. A sense of rejection and fear was on the forefront of his memories whenever he thought of his parents.

Since Gran lived in a little cottage in the middle of nowhere, he was sent to stay with her during the full moon. Unlike his parents, Gran didn't treat him any different. After the full moon, she would wake him up with a nice cup of hot chocolate and tended to his wounds. He felt safe there. His Gran made him feel at home and welcome, whereas at his parents', at home, he felt like a burden.

~*~

Eat, it'll help. The kind voice sounded in his head. Remus carefully opened the door to the sitting room. He hardly dared to breathe. Gran didn't like it when he came in here alone. But he had a plan. He knew how he'd make things right again. Very quietly and slowly, he made his way over to the other side of the room, carefully placing one foot in front of the other. He just needed to avoid the creaking floorboard right over there so as to not alert his grandmother, who was napping upstairs. She wasn't a light sleeper, but he thought it was better to be careful. He wasn't sure she'd approve of his plan.

Remus had brought a long wooden cooking spoon from the kitchen. Standing underneath the drawer, he carefully aimed for the handle, sticking the spoon through from below, and tugged.

Yes, it worked.

He wasn't quite sure how he would actually reach in to get the chocolate. The chairs were too heavy for him to drag over. Remus frowned; why hadn't he thought of that? He gave a hearty tug with his spoon, more in frustration than to actually achieve anything. The drawer came down with an almighty crash, chocolate flying everywhere.

Oh dear! Oh dear ...

Remus stood stock-still, his eyes squeezed shut, shoulders drawn up and hands balled into fists by his side. Any second now, his Gran would come running down from her room upstairs and he'd get an earful.

But ... nothing, all was quiet. Remus slowly relaxed and opened his eyes. Wow! He stood open-mouthed, taking in the bounty that presented itself to him, and eagerly started to pick up the chocolates that were strewn on the floor. Yes, this was going to work, this had to work. With a piece of chocolate working for a scraped knee, surely all this chocolate would help put things right again. He wouldn't be waiting for full moon to come, frightened and all by himself, and his parents would be happy again. With determination, Remus unwrapped a nougat praline and stuffed it into his mouth. Hmm, that was good! He felt the sweet melt on his tongue, but barely allowed himself to enjoy it before he reached for the next wrapper. What about that red one? Yum. He was starting to feel better already. Maybe he should take some back home for his mum. With sticky fingers, Remus slipped a handful of sweets in his pocket.

After a while, he was starting to feel full. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, and he really would have loved to drink something, or maybe something savoury to eat- a bit of cheese would be nice. Still, he had a plan, and he didn't dare leave his post.

Hours later, his grandmother found him in the sitting room, sweets wrappers all around him, hands and face sticky with chocolate, sound asleep.

"What ...? Remus, what happened here?" The stern voice woke Remus. He didn't feel too good, and he was thirsty!

"Drink?" he croaked. Gran conjured a glass of milk from somewhere.

"Remus, what happened here?" she questioned again, gently this time as she knew full well that a telling off wouldn't work. Remus had been subdued when he arrived yesterday. She knew something was bothering him, and knowing her grandson as she did, he must have had a good reason for his chocolate binge.

And so Remus told her. All the pent-up frustration, anger and sadness burst out. Remus was crying, sobbing in desperation, but it felt good to finally be able to tell someone. He felt that the chocolate was already helping. He felt safe and understood, even though he knew that things wouldn't miraculously change. He had hoped they would, but little Remus was quick to learn that miracles were not to be part of his life. Maybe no miracles, but that didn't mean that things had to be grim. His Gran had given him hope.

~*~

To this day, whenever Remus Lupin had a piece of chocolate, a frequent occurrence, he heard his Gran's voice, whispering soothing nothingness into his hair, felt strong arms enveloping him in a warm, comforting hug. And always: Eat, dear, it'll help.