The Parents Who Died

The Parents Who Died: Part VIII of Tale #1

If I Am Another Waste of Everything You’ve Dreamed Of

I Will Really Let You Down

Never say never

And don’t wait forever

It’s an open mind that sees that now is the time

To take a chance, take a shot, take control of the situation

I can’t stand around here telling you

About the things I’ve done and what I got to do

So are you on the bus or not?

Because we’re leaving the station.

--Evan and Jaron, “On the Bus”

“Would you like to join us in a game of chess?” Sirius asked pleasantly from where he sat on a gray pouf. As he spoke, his hand flew back behind him and attempted to erase Remus’s and Peter’s game from Frank’s and Lily’s view. The brown queen flew down Remus’s shirt, a castle, three pawns, and a knight into his lap and in his hair, from where he sat across from Peter. The white knight hit Peter right on the nose and the white queen somehow ended up down his pants. The rest of the pieces scattered on the floor and table.

Peter jumped to his feet and began beating wildly at his pants. “Hey!” he snipped, jumping as he tried to get the queen out of his trousers. “Sirius!”

Sirius was obviously attempting to block Peter out as he smiled serenely at Lily and Frank.

“No, thank you,” Lily said tightly, tugging on Frank’s arm, completely oblivious to Peter’s dilemma.

Frank looked away from the spectacle that was the bouncing Peter her, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion. 

“Frank and I were about to play by ourselves,” said Lily sharply. “Come on, Frank.”

She turned, yanking on Frank’s arm as she did so, and found herself facing James instead of an exit. He was sunk low in his seat, and her throat tightened strangely when she saw his left cheek and eye were bright red and puffy. She hesitated for a fraction of a second.

It was in that moment that Remus sealed a deal with Frank that forced Lily to stay. “Yeah, go on and leave, Longbottom,” he called out to Frank who was obeying Lily’s leash-like grip. “You know you can’t beat me. Forfeit of fear.”

Frank stiffened and jerked his arm out of Lily’s hand. It was then that that minute of empathy ended, and an irritable Lily was glaring at him now. “You didn’t mention a match,” said Frank sharply. 

“Good one, Moony,” Sirius said softly to his friend so Frank couldn’t hear.

Remus smiled. “I thought it was a mutual understanding. So I take it we’re on?”

“As sure as Lily’s bitch?” Sirius asked.

Lily’s mouth opened to protest with a vehement exclamation, but Sirius cut her off with a pearly grin and an amendment: “A sexy bitch.”

Frank nodded, smiling and showing dimples. “As sure.”

“Then scoot off, Black,” Remus said, “give my boy Frank a seat so I can kick his ass."

“Oh, sure thing, Moony,” said Sirius, smiling so that his eyes sparkled. He stood and held his hands out invitingly to his pouf. 

Frank gave a stoic nod and took it, immediately moving to perfect his side of the board.

Lily attempted a quiet escape, but, yet again, she found James instead of an exit and a wave of something that lumped up in her throat washed over her. It was in that instant that someone, again, caught and captured her. 

“Where are you going, Lily?” Frank called. He pulled a puppy-dog face when she turned again to glance at him. “Lupin’s got three cheerleaders. Don’t I get one?”

She hesitated. Lily could be a bitch, but she was also a softie, and she was as empathetic to Frank as James.

“Of course you do,” Lily found herself saying, giving a grin. 

Sirius, after relinquishing his chair to Frank, made his way to a quiet Peter’s pouf and kicked at it. “Off, Petie.”

“No,” said Peter, smiling. “But thank you anyway.”

“Peter, dear,” said Sirius, also looking bright. “Now is not the time to turn into me-e.”

“Isn’t it though?” said Peter, straightening up. 

“No. It’s not.”

Remus looked up from arranging his side of the chessboard to watch this scene with keen interest. 

“But, Sirius,” said Peter innocently, “wasn’t it you that always told me, ‘Peter, stop acting like a twit! Act like me! Say no if I order you to do something! Don’t let me kick you around! Now’s the time! Tomorrow’s the time! Anytime I do this to you is the time!’”

“He has you there, Padfoot,” Remus commented.

Sirius, looking almost as frustrated as he had when he’d been paired off with Snape, crossed his arms over his chest and plopped down on a nearby sofa in defeat.

Peter looked smugly at Lily, who raised an eyebrow and offered a smile.

He blushed.

“Yo, Lily,” Sirius said from his seat, “sit over here.”

“I’ll pass.”

“You’d rather snuggle in James’s lap?” Sirius offered.

Lily sat down next to Sirius as Remus and Peter stifled laughs. James was still silent, brown eyes huge and staring blankly at the chessboard. Lily yet again was greatly ashamed that she was actually curious.

“Ready?” Remus asked Frank, after straightening his king. 

“When you are.”

“I am.”

Frank smiled dimply again. “Then go.”

A small crowd had gathered around the table curiously. This was the ultimate match: Remus Lupin versus Frank Longbottom, the two people who found great pleasure in kicking other student’s butts and making all of them look like idiots. 

A short, clumsy seventh year with curly blond hair and a toad named Trevor in her pocket (that she had just found after losing it for the billionth time) leaned on the couch Lily and Sirius sat on. Her name was Nevilla Something-or-Other, a gossip but nice. “Go Frank!” she called, briefly deafening Lily. 

Lily winced.

“Stuff it,” Sirius snapped, face twisting in disgust. “Can’t you see we’re having a private conversation?”

Nevilla raised an eyebrow. “Oh, my awful mistake.” She made a face as she left to stand over Peter instead.

“Private conversation?” Lily snipped. 

Sirius scooted close to her and grinned promiscuously at her. “Very very private.”

Lily shoved him. “Hands off, Black.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot,” Sirius nodded, “you’re all Jamie’s, right?”

My face seems to turn pink often lately, Lily mused. “Black, did your mum drop you down the stairs when you were an itty bitty baby?”

Lily had expected to get a rise out of him. Some sharp comeback or long string of cusswords or a sly remark about his ability to play “Quidditch” even better because of his mum’s clumsy hands. 

Lily received none of these.

Sirius’s face darkened to a frown and his eyes went from gray to black in an instant. “Don’t mention my mother, Lily,” he said stiffly. “There’s one thing I can’t take, and it’s mentioning her.”

Oh. Yeah. His mum was dead.

Lily never would have thought she’d be able to sympathize with Sirius Black. Then again, she never would have thought she’d kiss James Potter either.

“Sorry,” she said earnestly.

Sirius shrugged and flashed a smile. “Everyone makes that mistake. Anyway. Where were we?” 

Lily prayed he wouldn’t remember.

But his returning dimple proved her prayers were lacking. “You know something cool?”

“Apparently not.” Lily sighed.

“Kaye Song punched James a few minutes ago—”

Lily’s mouth dropped open and she shot a gaze towards James again. So that’s what was wrong. So that’s why his face was puffy and why he was sitting there so quietly.

“—and you know why?” Sirius continued.

“Why?”

“Because he cheated on her. And you know with whom?”

Lily flushed. “Of course not!” she hissed.

“A red-head. This really bitchy but sexy red-head whose name reminds me of flowers.” Sirius grinned.

Lily glowered.

“In other words Kaye walked into the library and caught James red-handed banging on the library floooor,” he sang. “With yooooou.”

Lily’s hand twitched as she fought a strong urge to slap Sirius’s sparkling teeth right down to the floor. “Please. And you believed that?” she said stiffly.

Calm, Lily. Don’t show frustration or embarrassment. You have to bury this now and forever.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because your ‘two sources,’ Song and Potter, are the most unbelievable couple in the school, that’s why!” Lily snapped so loudly heads turned curiously.

Even James glanced up.

“Telling the most believable story since—-well, frozen yogurt!” Sirius said cheerfully.

“What are you saying, Black?” Lily demanded icily.

“That you would crawl into James’s bed the second you were offered,” Sirius informed her, still smiling. “That you’re a slut and you know it.”

No one had ever called her that before. They knew better. No one except for Petunia—

And because she wasn’t there they’d died.

“Mum?” Lily whispered, eyes seeing only her parents’ stunned faces, as they lay dead. “Daddy?”

Petunia sneered at her, eyes bright and huge like a horse just stung by a bee. “Mum and Dad would be alive right now if it weren’t for you and your abnormality!”

Sirius’s smile faltered, confusion clouding his features. “What?”

Lily’s eyes watered and tears spilled down her cheeks. Anger filled her through and through, and she forgot everything about image and James and all those people crowded around her. All she saw was Petunia’s face. All she heard was that horrible accusation.

Her blond hair hanging limply over her shoulders, Petunia feigned a watery expression. “They didn’t deserve you as a child! A traitor! Kill them! I bet you turned them over, didn’t you? Told your little witch friends to kill them on Christmas day!”

“No,” Lily thought. “No.”

“Or maybe your little benefactors killed them! Maybe you decided to torment me by killing mum because I told her the truth about you, you slut. Because you wouldn’t care if she was dead. You knew I would care. That’s why you left, isn’t it?”

Lily stared, hard, into Petunia’s face in moments quivering with weighted negative emotions before some horrible mixture of hate, guilt, and grief exploded inside and she pounced on Petunia.

“YOU KILLED THEM!” she shrieked suddenly. Her hands flew back and started banging uncontrollably against Sirius’s chest. “NOT ME! YOU!”

The common room fell silent and all eyes watched them in shock.

“Aaaahhh!” Sirius cried. “Whoa! Lily!” He tried to grab her arms. “Hold on!”

But she couldn’t stop. Her arms battered and fought against his grip as tears streamed wildly down her cheeks. “You killed them! It’s your fault! Not mine! YOURS!” she sobbed.

James sat up now, finally seeing something other than Kaye Song’s fist and red, and found himself watching a crazed Lily trying to beat Sirius to death.

“A little help?” Sirius said nervously. Lily’s punched didn’t hurt at all; she was far too weak in her anger to do any harm. But, frankly, he was terrified by her sudden fury.

“You killed them, Petunia,” Lily hissed, continuing to batter her sister with punches.

But her arms were suddenly stopped as someone else’s smothered her, and though she fought and shrieked and screams, weariness settled over her and she stopped trying to kill Sirius, breaking down and weeping.

Sirius scrambled away from her and joined everyone in staring in awe as Lily Evans allowed James Potter to rock her in his arms as she sobbed on his chest, his hands gently combing through her hair.

“Sshhh,” James whispered, trying to ignore his aching cheek and the fact that his heart felt like a pile of mush now that Lily was, again, close enough to him that he could smell her shampoo. “It’s okay, Lily, Petunia’s not here ”

“It’s all her fault,” Lily insisted in a watery voice.

“It is,” James agreed.

“Her fault.”

“Yes, all her fault.” 

He felt her tears soaking through his shirt, and it somehow was wonderful. Suddenly, he became aware of the fact that everyone in the common room was watching them with great interest, as though they were some mating monkeys at the zoo.

He moved to get to his feet, gently helping Lily up too. “Come on, Lil,” he whispered, still holding her. 

“Where we going?” she sniffed, looking up. Her face was red and puffy. 

“Away from Petunia,” he said soothingly.

She buried her face back into his shoulder. “I want her dead.”

He took that as her assent. “Come on then.”

She wouldn’t budge.

“Lily?” he asked softly, urgently, embarrassed and unsettled with all the students staring at the two of them. “We have to move, Lily.”

“She did it,” she sobbed. “It’s all her fault.”

Thoroughly pink now, James sadly decided that the only way to get out of here and not leave Lily to kill Sirius would be to carry her, and that’s just what he did.

“Did he just carry Lily out of here?” Frank demanded as soon as James disappeared up the stairs. His eyes were huge. “And did she just let him?”

“Whoa,” was all Sirius could say, tenderly touching his beaten chest.

The kids gathered around the table had hurried off to spread the news, leaving Sirius, Peter, Remus, and Frank by themselves.

“He’s not in it just for her body after all,” Remus said in shock.

“In it?” Frank repeated, eyes bright. “In what?”

“Yeah,” agreed Peter, “in what?”

Ignoring the two of them, Sirius looked at Remus. “Has our buddy fallen?” he said in shock.

Remus stared at the door James had left through. “Padfoot, my friend, it’s true.” He sighed. “You knew it had to happen sometime.”

“But now?”

“What?” Frank demanded. “What’s happening, guys?”

Remus and Sirius looked at Frank with identical sad smiles on their faces. “James had fallen,” Remus said.

“Head over heels,” Sirius added.

Frank’s eyes widened and he looked ill. “With whom?” he said softly as though he feared the answer.

“Lily Evans.”

“What?” Frank cried in dismay.

Sirius leaned close to Frank’s face. “James is desperately in love with Lily.”

“And how do you know?”

Remus laughed. “Simple, Frankie. 

Sirius explained. “James told us if he ever let a girl cry on his shoulder and liked it, he’d be head over heels. Lily sure as hell cried on his shoulder, and he sure as hell loved it.”

* * * * *

James found that it was very difficult to open a door with a sobbing girl in his arms. He had to kick at it and wait for someone to open it.

Padmavati appeared in the doorway, and her eyes got huge when she saw that James was carrying Lily.

“What’s going—?” Padmavati started, a grin tugging at her lips until she noticed Lily crying.

James pushed past her. “Which one’s her bed?” he asked wearily.

Padmavati’s eyebrows knitted together in surprise and confusion, but she pointed Lily’s out.

James gently let Lily down on it, making to move away, but Lily clutched at his arm so he couldn’t budge. He sat down on the edge of the bed next to her.

Padmavati and Lydia Figg watched with wonder.

“What?” James snapped. “What the hell is so frigging interesting?”

“Um nothing,” Padmavati said sheepishly.

“Then leave.”

They just stood there.

“Now. Go spread whatever gossip you please. Just leave us alone or Lily’ll end up beating you up like she was Sirius.”

They blinked at each other, then nodded and scampered off and out the door, leaving James alone with Lily on her bed.

James blinked at this realization.

Lily sniffled, sobs subsiding, and stared up at James with huge, watery eyes. “I’m cold,” she whispered to him. “Don’t leave me alone. They’re here.”

James frowned, concerned, and leaned down close to her. “Who?”

She shook her head against her pillow. “Them. Please don’t leave me,” she begged meekly. Her hand clutched tightly at his sleeve, twitching and shaking.

James took it in his own.

“I won’t,” he promised.

She smiled at him softly, hugging her pillow. “I don’t feel very good.”

His hand brushed her forehead. “Neither do I.”

“I miss my mum and dad,” she whispered, closing her eyes against the warm prickling of tears. “It’s her fault they’re dead.” She opened her eyes and looked at him with glittering green eyes that revealed every single emotion she was feeling: sadness, fury, weariness, and trust. Her grip on his hand tightened. “That was Sirius, not Petunia, wasn’t it?” she asked quietly, eyes falling shut again.

James laughed softly. “Yes, it was.”

“What if I were to say that I knew it all along but just wanted an excuse to be alone with you?” Lily wondered, a smile curving her lips slightly.

“I wouldn’t believe you.”

“Good.”

“What if I were to say that I took your crying as an excuse to be in bed with you?”

“I’d believe you.”

He laughed again, kicking off his shoes and sprawling across the bed next to her. “Good.” His finger gently traced across her forehead. “I take it you aren’t going to kill me anymore?”

Her eyes peeked out again, earnest and clear. “I really was crazy back there, James. I really only saw Petunia. And I really am scared and want you to stay with me right now. Because they’re really here. And I’m really, really aching for my mum right now.” She took a breath. “What I mean is, you were the only one brave enough to come near me when I was like that. You were the only one who could calm me. And you’re really not just a perverted bastard after all.”

James looked inquiringly at her as she reached out to gently touch his swollen and purpling cheek. Her icy fingers felt wonderful against the bruise, and his eyes fell shut on their own accord. “I don’t hate you. I don’t know where all that hate went, but it’s gone and now I just feel empty. I have dreams. Weird dreams. Of them coming. And, James?”

“Mmm?” he said.

“You’re the only one who can keep them from taking me.”

“I am?”

“Don’t leave me alone.”

He opened his eyes, finding him drowning in hers. “I won’t.”

She curled up against him, eyes slipping shut again. “Then I’m safe.”

“So am I.”

Lily laughed, taking his arms and weaving them around her waist. Their noses were touching. “Good.”

“Are we taking a nap?” James asked.

“I am.”

“And as I can’t leave you alone, I am too, then?”

Her reply was slipping off his glasses and placing them on the nightstand.

“Aaahhh,” he said in a whispered cry. “I’m blind.”

“Don’t worry,” Lily assured him. “I am too. I’m letting you sleep on my bed, after all.”

“Har har.”