A Change of Heart

Chapter 8

"Sirius," she called after the four boys walking up the stairs away from the dungeons. "Sirius, can we talk?"

He looked back at her and nodded, excused himself from his friends' company and walked down the stairs to talk with Lily. She waited until people had cleared the hall until she began to speak.

"On the risk of missing lunch, I just wanted to ask you if everything was okay between us..." she said hesitantly.

He examined her expression for a moment and said nonchalant, "Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

"It's just that you've kind of seemed to be avoiding me a little, for the past few weeks I mean," she said trying to avoid his eyes.

He felt a wave of regret suddenly wash over him. He had tried to make his life easier. James wouldn't ask him about Lily, if he and Lily didn't speak. He hadn't really considered what she would make of it. He looked at her carefully; he had missed talking to her too.

"I had a lot of problems the last couple of weeks, what with the whole filibusters and dungbombs lose in the great hall during dinner..." he lied grinning, hoping to convince her that he wasn't avoiding her. "But really, I haven't been avoiding you. Come on, why don't we skip lunch and you can fill me in on what you've been doing?"

"Are you serious?" she asked trying to hide her excitement.

"About lunch? Yeah, I know how we can get food later," he said casually.

"No, not about lunch," she said smiling. She looked down and then faced him seriously. "I mean about the avoiding thing. Because, I get it, you know? I get it if you don't wanna talk to me. I can be a pain sometimes..."

"I think you're great," he said immediately. "I don't know how you can stand me."

She blushed as he smiled at her happily. He reached out his hand to take hers.

"Neither do I. Last week, that was you guys with the dungbombs? I was nearby. Professor McGonagall didn't look happy," she smiled as she took his hand.

He gave her a huge mischievous grin and suddenly burst into a run, dragging her along with him. He led her up the stairs and out to the big oak doors leading to the grounds. When he finally stopped, she gave him a wide-eyed look and tried to speak. She was completely out of breath. She looked around as she tried to get some air in her lungs, there was barely anyone outside. She imagined everyone was in the hall having lunch. She looked back at Sirius to find him looking intently at her.

"What? You made me run all through that, I needed to catch my breath," she said smiling at him.

"I was actually just thinking. You really stand out. I mean because of your hair. You look beautiful," he had a goofy smile as he said it.

He was about to step in closer when they heard a blast coming from inside the castle. Suddenly, they saw a figure drop down the stairs. Lily stepped closer to see who the shape was. A messy, dark-haired boy got up hastily and drew his wand quickly.

"James?!" Sirius called out quizzically.

Just then James called out a spell they didn't hear. They couldn't see the attacker but they ran closer to James when unexpectedly, Remus and Peter tumbled out of the castle as well. They got to their feet hurriedly, only to be joined by Lily and Sirius. They had pulled out their wands and were looking at the door warily. Coming through it were Zabini, Goyle, Crabbe, and Severus Snape; all pointing their wands at the group with scowls on their faces.

"What happened?" Sirius asked his eyes fixed on the angry Slytherins.

"Well..." Remus said with a smirk.

"Let's just say that Snivellus and his little buddies over there weren't exactly waiting to welcome us into the Great Hall when we went to get lunch," James said shooting daggers at Snape.

"Someone just please explain!" Lily said frustrated weighing out their chances to bring down the three really big Slytherins (without counting Snape of course).

"We came into the hall and were hit by a really nasty spell, that well, had us talking like animals momentarily. We saw these gits laughing and--"

Before Remus could finish his sentence, Snape threw a jinx that made him fall to the floor. James then called out "expelliarmus" and missed Snape, but saw Goyle's wand shoot down the stairs. The boy looked around stupidly and ran back inside the castle. Remus got up unsteadily holding his face in his hands.

"Remus? Are you okay?" James asked worriedly looking at his friend.

Remus muttered an okay from beneath his hands and looked at Snape angrily. Lily walked closer to where Remus and Peter where standing. She hazarded a look at Remus gasped and looked back with a furious look at a smiling Snape.

Lily gazed steadily with her eyes examining Snape's moves and suddenly and rapidly called out, "Stupefy!"

She yelled it once and before the other two bullies could throw any jinxes at her, pulled Remus and Peter (who was shaking and looked too weak to actually do anything) quickly out of the way. She watched from where she had fallen next to the two boys as James and Sirius took advantage of Zabini's and Crabbe's shocked expression and aims at Lily, to disarm both Slytherins before they could jinx Lily and the others. The two ran in the castle and were out of sight before anyone could make another move.

Sighs of relief could be heard from the five Gryffindors. James moved quickly to help his friends off the ground. Remus refused the help and got up slowly. Lily looked at Remus, who tried to still hide his face from everyone. She smiled benevolently and put a hand on his back.

"Let's take you to the infirmary," she said as they started to walk up the stairs. She picked up the wands where they had fallen at the beginning of the stairs as they walked inside and threw them down to James.

"Go tell Profesor McGonagall what happened," she said smiling. "I think they'll finally get what they deserve."

"I wouldn't be too sure, I don't think she'll believe any of us," he said worriedly.

"She'll believe me," she said walking alongside Remus.

She eyed the body of Snape with disgust as they passed him lying at the entrance of the castle. Once Lily was out of earshot, James looked over at Sirius smiled.

"I think that's the first time she has ever been so nice to me," he said glowing.

"Yeah," Sirius said less excited. He looked over at his friend and saw blood trickling down his robes. "Hey, what happened to you there?"

"I must've cut myself in the fall," James said looking for the source of the blood. He found a deep gash on his shoulder and looked disgusted at the top of the stairs. "I'm gonna be happy when he gets two weeks worth of detentions."

"I think you should go to the infirmary. That cut looks nasty," Sirius said looking at his friend's injury. "I'll go talk to McGonagall. I'm surprised she didn't come out with all the racket."

"Thanks," he said looking around.

He headed up the stairs addressing Peter as he walked up the stairs to ask if he was okay. Peter nodded and walked over to Sirius.

"Thanks for the cover," Peter said to a distracted Sirius.

"You're welcome," he replied offhandedly. He gave Peter a weak smile and started for the stairs. "We better go tell McGonagall what happened."

Peter followed after him. Sirius ripped Snape's wand from his grip and headed towards the Great Hall, all along thinking how he wished he hadn't sent James to the infirmary with Lily there.

***

Lily and Remus had been in the infirmary long enough for Madam Pomfrey to start muttering madly at them for getting into a quarrel with the Slytherins. Lily had explained the events and Madam Pomfrey had put a face of horror when she saw Remus face which appeared to have grown a snout. She had been searching like crazy around her cupboard and ransacked her desk to find a potion to cure Remus. Still, when the snout was gone, she insisted on keeping him at least until dinner to make sure that he was completely okay. James had arrived midway through the examination. Madam pomfrey had instructed him to sit down while she took remus to a bed where she insisted he lay down and let her make sure she cured the cuts and bruises he had gotten in his fall. Lily turned to look at James and gave him a quizzical look.

"What happened? Did you go to McGonagall?" she asked plainly.

"No, Sirius said he'd go instead of me. I have this cut. He said he'd take of talking to McGonagall while I got patched up. Besides, he's got a bigger credibility factor with her than me."

"Where's the cut?" she asked concerned.

He pointed towards his left shoulder. She looked at the gash and winced. She walked over to Madam Pomfrey's desk and got some cotton from the top of the desk and soaked the cotton with water from a glass of water standing on the corner of the desk. She walked back over to James and hesitated.

"Is it alright if I clean it? I'm no healer, but I know a bit about muggle first aid," she said waiting for permission to trespass his personal bubble.

"Yeah, sure," he said looking somewhat surprised.

She rid up his robe sleeve and started cleaning the wound with the cotton. Blood was still coming out of the cut and she walked over to pick up more cotton to keep the blood from coming out. During all of the process, James couldn't help looking at her amazedly. She didn't like him; in fact, at moments she seemed to hate him. Yet, there she was, tending to his wound. He couldn't even feel any pain as he admired her, looking concentrated on his injury. He didn't even notice when she had completely stopped and was now looking at him apprehensively.

"Are you okay?" she said hesitantly. "Does it hurt?"

He snapped out of his trance and looked at the cut. He felt a little sharp pain come from it now and winced a bit.

"Only a bit. Thanks," he said looking straight into her green eyes. 'Beautifully green eyes' a voice said inside him. He could feel a smile drawing on his lips. What surprised him was that she smiled back.

"Glad to help," she said, all thoughts that she usually hated James Potter out of her head.

Chapter 9

They looked at each other for a while until they heard a clutter from where Madam Pomfrey had taken Remus.

"I'm FINE!" they heard Remus say angrily at Madam Pomfrey. They heard the words 'nonsense' being muttered and they smiled.

"Looks like she's being rough on him," James said with a small chuckle.

"She can overreact sometimes. I came for a cold last week and she had me drink two really yucky potions and had me lay down for an hour," Lily said smiling back at him.

"When I came in because of the fur spell during the feast she had me in for half the next day. Took me an hour to convince her to let me leave," he said offhandedly.

He regretted making the comment. Her smile faded and she turned serious within moments. She handed him the cotton and looked at him regrettably.

"I should go talk to professor McGonagall, I think Sirius might need my help convincing her. You should keep pressure on your wound until Madam Pomfrey remembers she's supposed to tend to you," she said trying to smile. "Bye James."

"Bye," he said sadly.

***

Lily was greeted at the Great Hall by the commotion of the students gathered in a circle around Professor McGonagall, Professor Dumbledore, Sirius, and a very awake and angry Snape; all in heated discussion, almost. Professor Dumbledore just stood there listening, to another person he was serious, but as Lily examined him, he had a glint in his eyes that seemed he was laughing internally.

"Ah! Miss Evans, I believe we are in need of your assistance," Professor Dumbledore said acknowledging her presence. People started moving out of her way to let her move towards the group. "Now, perhaps we should move towards a... less crowded area."

He looked amused as he said it, but he led the other four to the antechamber at the end of the Great Hall. When they arrived there, he summoned up chairs for them to sit.

"Will you all explain yourselves!?" Professor McGonagall said outraged.

At once the voices of Sirius and Snape could be heard retelling the events in angry frustrated voices.

"He jinxed us!"

"Only because you tried jinxing us!"

"You had nothing to do with the fight Black!"

"Sni- Snape launched my friends out of the Great Hall! Tell me how it didn't involve me?"

"You got in the fight on your own!"

"I wasn't going to let you jinx them!"

"It's your own fault something happened to you!"

"STOP! Would you two please stop arguing! Now, since either of you won't let each other talk, I will ask Miss Evans to explain what happened," Professor McGonagall said frustrated. She gave the boys a pointed look and turned to look at Lily. "Well Miss Evans, explain."

"Sirius and I were talking outside of the Great Hall when we saw James Potter falling down the stairs from the main oak door. We rushed to see if he was okay, when Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin came flying out of the castle too. They fell down the stairs and landed right before us. Sirius and I got closer to see if they were okay when Crabbe, Goyle, Zabini, and Snape came out at the top of the stairs. Snape threw a jinx at Remus--" she said looking directly at both professors until she was interrupted by Snape's objections.

"I assure you--" he started shooting daggers at Lily.

"I think Severus, that it would be best for you to allow Lily to continue before you make any corrections," Professor Dumbledore said calmly.

"But Professor--" Snape started again.

"Mr. Snape, if you do not stay quiet then I will make you," Professor McGonagall said pointedly. "Go on Miss Evans."

"Well, as I was saying, Severus hit Remus with a jinx that made him grow a snout--" she said being disrupted again.

"I did no--" before Snape could finish his sentence Professor McGonagall pointed her wand angrily at him and before he could say another word said, "silencio!"

His voice died out, although he was still moving his lips. Sirius almost burst out laughing until he saw Professor McGonagall. She was just looking for an excuse to punish. He just sat still and avoided looking at her. Instead he fixed his eyes on Lily, who had now again resumed the tale. She made Remus' snout sound like a horrible crime. She explained calmly how she had knocked out Snape, how James and Sirius had disarmed Crabbe and Zabini and how she had taken Remus to the infirmary where Madam Pomfrey was taking care of him now. She told them how James had arrived to the infirmary short there after she and Remus had arrived. Professor McGonagall just sat in her chair thoughtfully. Professor Dumbledore seemed sort of distracted.

Finally, Professor Dumbledore spoke, "Well, it seems to me that you were only protecting yourself. We have still no account what happened before Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin and Mr. Pettigrew flew out of the castle, but as far as I'm concerned Miss Evans, you and Mr. Black are free to go."

Professor McGonagall nodded in approval. Snape waved madly to get the teacher's attention, only to receive an angry look.

"Mr. Snape, I think I'd believe a prior prefect (I don't think she's considered prefect after she turns head girl) and Head Girl more than I'd trust the word of a student who just got detention two weeks ago for jinxing another student's quill to spill all over their clothes," she said looking at Snape annoyed. She turned to Lily and Sirius who were still seated in their respective chairs with smiles as Snape got told off. "Go on you two, unless you want detentions as well."

They got up quickly and made their way to the door as Dumbledore turned to look at Professor McGonagall, "I believe, Minerva, that we should call Professor Hydra to come in and tell Severus what his punishment will be. I will have Mr. Filch look around for the other three boys..."

***

Sirius and Lily stepped out of the room, only to be greeted by a group of excited students who were eager to hear the recount of the events that had happened nearly an hour ago. Sarah and Hannah approached Lily with amazed faces, telling their friend what they had heard.

"A couple of Hufflepuffs told me they saw you and Sirius run towards the entrance, where James was fighting off four Slytherins. That suddenly Peter and Remus came out of nowhere and all of you charged against the Slytherins..." Hannah said excitedly.

"I heard that our sweet and innocent Lily knocked out two of them with a single spell!" Sarah said looking positively pleased.

"Oh now! Rumors fly like wild fire! It seems like I am an army all by myself!" Lily said wide-eyed. She turned to look at Sirius who was telling everyone he didn't know how the fight had started but it ended with the four Slytherins regretting ever having messed with the marauders... and Lily.

He glowered on Lily's actions, saying how it was one of the most impressive uses of the 'stupefy' spell he had ever seen performed. Someone piped in to say he probably hadn't seen many and Sirius just blushed. Lily nudged him slightly, smiling at him.

They were finally driven away from their crowd by the bell signaling the end of their lunch hour, which meant Lily and her friends needed to get to History of Magic. Sirius walked with them to class, sat next to Lily during lesson with the excuse that two of his friends were still in the infirmary and the other appeared to be missing. He had started talking in whispers with a hesitant Lily, but had then resorted to paper conversations with her after Professor Binns glared at them for talking.

*How was Remus?* he wrote on a blank parchment. He pushed the paper over to her and smiled.

*Okay, I know it seems unnecessary to you, but I do have to work to keep my grades. He already told us to be quiet. Besides, the Giant Wars are actually interesting,* she wrote underlining the word 'work'.

She pushed the paper towards him and listened for a while to Professor Binns while Sirius wrote on the parchment. She could feel her eyelids begin to droop as she unwillingly wrote down notes. She had almost dozed off when Sirius tapped her again.

*You're falling asleep anyhow and we are not talking. Come on Lily, please. I just want to know how my friend is doing. Snivellus didn't manage to make any lasting damage did he? I'll bust his face myself!* she read to herself. She noticed a little p.s. a line down. *By the way, you're going to have to tell me how you managed that spell. It's not exactly an easy one to do. I mean, we're not supposed to use it. As student I mean.*

She turned to give him a look. She mouthed the words 'not sleeping' and began to write on the parchment.

*He was fine. Actually, I think Madam Pomfrey changed him back before I came down but she insisted on making him rest. James and I-* she stopped midway through the sentence. Sirius, once aware that she had stopped writing, attempted to take the parchment. She shook her head and looked again at the sentence she was about to write.

'We had a moment,' a voice said in her mind. 'A moment where I thought he was nice and a good friend. Because the truth is that he is a good friend, a good person.'

She tried to shake the feeling off, but the way his eyes had looked so disappointed when she had said she had to leave haunted her for a moment. It hadn't been a moment where he had been taunting her; it hadn't been a trying-to-prove-that-he-could-get-the-girl-in-front-of-everyone moment, but a serious and disappointed I-don't-want-you-to-leave moment.

She felt Sirius nudge her again to finish the sentence. She had to re-read her own message twice to remember her tread of thought.

*James and I listened in to their little argument. She tried to give him check him over and he refused profoundly. I left before she could look into James' wound. I did help him clean it though. You should be proud, I finally had a decent conversation with your best friend.*

She passed it to him and propped her head on her hands, watching Sirius as he read her message. He was very handsome, even without attempting it. He didn't have to smile in her direction for her to see it. But he did and she found that rewarding. She liked him, there was no doubt about it in her mind. Yet, she could hear Hannah's words about love and hate resonating in her mind. She wasn't stupid; she just hadn't wanted to accept it. Hannah had been referring to James. She wanted to drive the idea out of her mind. She found herself just looking out of the window, still deep in thought, waiting for Sirius' reply.

He read her message, his gaze fixed intently on the last sentence. *I'm glad,* he wrote sincerely. 'But I kinda just want you for me.'

His mind was racing with potential jealousy. He feared that which he knew deep in his heart of hearts. Lily and James had a lot in common; he was surprised Lily didn't see that. Yet she might, and the thought of that was something he wasn't ready to handle. He knew Lily liked him. He liked her too, he would give up anything to be with her; almost anything. He wasn't ready to throw away 17 years of friendship for a fleeting crush. That's what he hoped Lily was to him. He wanted to ignore that every time he got near, he felt nervous and clumsy. He wanted to ignore that she made him feel like he could be a better person.

He thought about the possibilities. 'James would understand,' he said to himself. Or so he tried to convince himself. He argued in his mind that once James knew, once he saw how much he cared for Lily, he would be okay about it. He kept repeating it as he wrote the next lines on the parchment. He poked Lily slightly, pulling her from her thoughts and pushed the parchment towards her.

She read the paper and smiled brightly.

"I'd love to!" she said loudly.