I Still

I Still...

It had been well over nine years time since last I saw the face of my beloved. Even now, as I write this, I love her without reason, without limits, without question, and with all of my heart, and that is truly saying something. We had a love so brief that it almost isn't even worth talking about, but she left such an impression on me and my soul, that I can hardly understand where she had been for all of the time leading up to my learning of her existence.

My name is Draco Lucius Malfoy, and I was born into a world set in ice. I met Ginevra Weasley long before either of us went to Hogwarts, but I doubt she has any memories of it. Our parents were two sets of Purebloods, which was at that time very difficult to find in the Wizarding world, as many were Muggle Born or Half blooded after the first Wizarding War. She had many older brothers, I never kept count as to how many, but she was often off to the side, holding her mother's hand. She was hidden away, so nobody could see the beauty she was unknowingly tempted to become.

I honestly and truly began to take real notice of her when she was a second year at Hogwarts. One year prior, she had been the one to open the Chamber of Secrets, and that had truly been of fascination me. I didn't learn until much later that my father was the cause of the pain that was inflicted upon her, and that was part of the reason I insisted upon meeting her in the first place. She was no longer the strong witch who was able to do something nobody else could. She was a scared little vessel that my father figured out how to take advantage of. I felt guilty. This was apparent to me, and me alone. Had I let it known, I surely would have been punished, and viciously at that. She wasn't all that much younger than me, but she had that delicate air about her that made me want to protect her, even though I was quite sure she hated me. In all actuality she was vivacious, mouthy and full of energy, but to me she was a snowflake; one wrong move and she would break.

In the summer before my seventh year, I finally introduced myself. I made sure none of her crazy brothers were around first, however. I wasn't afraid of any of them in particular, but put that many redheads in the room with the son of the man who could have potentially hurt their little sister... I would have been a redhead about it too, but in my family, it just wasn't in the genes.

We became quick friends actually, but we had to keep it a secret, as none of her Gryffindor friends, nor my Slytherin associates would have understood our strange union. Friendship soon blossomed into infatuation from both ends, and very soon after we met, we became more than just friends.

I took her virginity...she very obviously did not take mine. It was a beautiful night, but not very long afterward, I was sent off to fight in that ridiculous war. Neither of us was quite sure which side I was on, but that was alright.

It was an unspoken knowledge that neither of us planned on this being a forever kind of deal, but I knew she had begun to hope... I would never admit it but...I was rather looking forward to all the lovely things she spoke of. Children, a home in the sunniest edge of Europe... A real family. Something tangible...

Before I left, I gave her the sweetest kiss a guy like me could manage, and a ring. The ring was made of white gold, with a large emerald in the center, (quite the Slytherin, I know). Engraved onto the outside of the ring were two simple words that I never got the chance to explain...

'I Still...'

Who are you now?
Are you still the same
Or did you change somehow?
What do you do
At this very moment when I think of you?

-I Still, BSB

"Abigail!"

That was the first thing Draco heard Ginny say aloud in 9 years. He knew it was her; he could have recognized that voice anywhere, but when he turned to look at her, she was no place to be seen.

He raised an eyebrow when a small child clutched his leg. He was startled, but he could definitely see a familial resemblance when he saw the little girls face. He was brought back to his thoughts of her while he had been gone. He fantasized about what their children would look like... What she would look like with a plump baby bump stretching the fabric of her robes. He shook his head, doing his best to get the image out of his head. Nevertheless, he leaned down, lifting the toddler into his arms and chuckled as she grabbed his long, slender nose.

"Shop, shop!" she squealed with an imbalanced tone of excitement and freedom. She wriggled happily in his arms, then leaned forward to press her face against his chest. She closed her eyes with a silly grin as he began to stroke the top of her head lightly.

"Well hello there little one. Aren't you just the prettiest little witch I've ever seen? You have the prettiest red hair I've seen since-"

That was when he laid eyes on her. It was like he had gone back in time and seen that very same 16 year old beauty that he had left behind. She was running up to him, her long red hair billowing behind her. She was in a set of short green robes that he couldn't help but smirk at. Back in their Hogwarts days, she used to look so sexy in his robes...

"I'm so sorry! Abigail Anne Weasley! You are such a naughty little girl! What is wrong with you?" She put a hand to her hip momentarily, before reaching up to grab the small child from Draco's arms. He nearly went weak when her hand brushed his neck. He licked his lips, breathing her in.

She still smells exactly the same...

The toddler whimpered and clutched the strange man with all the strength she could muster.

"No fair!"

With a mocked choke, Draco tugged the child away from his body. "Here you go... She looks just like you..." He used the line as an excuse to search her face, hoping for some clue that she recognized him in the least. It didn't seem as though she did.

She chuckled and cuddled the girl against her chest. "She should. All us Weasley's look just alike... Her mum is rather ticked, to be completely honest with you. Has absolutely no Granger in her whatsoever. Trouble maker like her uncles, red headed as all of us. Seems the only thing she's gotten from her mother is her small size, but I figure that'll just help her be sneakier." She gave him a small smile, realizing inwardly that she had begun to babble. "Thank you by the way... She hardly ever does this you know. Generally she hates men."

Draco scratched the back of his neck. 'She has absolutely no idea who I am...'

"Well, at least you know she has good taste." He took a shot at the smirk he was so well known for in school, but Ginny wasn't even looking in his direction.

"Thank you so much for your help. I need to take my nephew for his wand now, but you take care okay?"

He turned and saw a very tall, very gangly red-headed boy standing in front of the Quidditch Supply store and knew straight away that he belonged to Ron. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he screamed Ron to him. Perhaps it was the way he had a licorice rope wrapped around his neck with one end dangling from his mouth.

"Any time..." he whispered, although he was very well aware that he was alone.

When Draco was alone in the safety of his own home, he allowed some frustration to come out on his wall. After he was through and the wall was sufficiently punished, he whispered a spell to allow the wall to close, and then did it over again, over and over again, until he was too sore to continue.

He took a deep breath as he stepped into the shower. He tilted his head back, allowing the hot water to trail over his body. Why am I so upset? I left her. I never owled her...I never expected her to wait for me, so why in the hell am I so bloody surprised about this now?

And yet she had no children it seemed. She had no ring...Although...Had he remembered to look? Probably not. He didn't think there was a ring... But then again, if there had been no ring, she had likely taken off the one he had given to her all those years ago.

He pulled a tall glass of fire whiskey to his lips after he poured it, gulping it down in the least classy way he could have. He hadn't had a drink in many years. Where he had been, it had been nearly impossible to sneak away for long enough to get a good stein of something sharp and warm. He put his face in his hands, trying to shake away his memories of her, but it was no use. Things had not gone the way he had wanted them to. Not in any way... Not at all.

She'd grown up without him... He had noticed many things in their brief encounter that he just couldn't shake. For one, she'd allowed her hair to grow.

"I can't wait until I graduate. I'm going to cut my hair as short as possible and keep it that way! I hate the hassle! More than that, I hate the fact that I keep it this way because my parents tell me I have to..."

"No Ginny...I love the way your hair looks long! I think you should keep it that way!"

She had kept her hair long, that was for sure. That fact alone gave Draco a slight smile, but that was all he had to smile about, that was for sure. She had forgotten him, and that fact alone hurt him more than he had ever been hurt in his whole life. The war had been brutal but he would have gone through it all again if only she had missed him.

He poured himself another drink, losing himself in the memory of her wrapping her hair around his eyes, whispering a soft "Missed me, missed me, now you gotta-"

"This kid is going to be the end of me mother! Please explain to me how you had seven, and you didn't kill one or two of us along the way!" Ginny put her hand on her forehead, pushing Abby's stroller into the kitchen of the Burrow. It smelled just like chocolate chip scones... This was one of those smells that brought her back to those dangerous memories of her childhood.

Molly took Abigail into her arms and chuckled. "What did she do now Ginevra?"

Ginny sat at the table, picking up a green apple. "She unclipped herself from her stroller and made a mad dash for a strange man in the middle of Diagon Alley! He must have thought the worst of me. What kind of caregiver gives their charge a chance to escape?"

Molly chuckled and sat across from her, pulling the baby into her lap. "Well, she is a Weasley. Do you know how many times you wandered off when you were that age? It was terrible! And with six other children to watch I didn't always notice you were missing right away."

Ginny swallowed the bite she had been chewing and felt her jaw drop. "Mother! You lost me? What is wrong with you! When did this happen? How often?"

Molly chuckled and shook her head. "You're one to talk Miss. At least I didn't find you twenty minutes later in the arms of a strange man."

"You could have very well never found me alive at all!"

Abigail leaned into her grandmothers chest and curled into a ball.

"You've always had an exaggeration problem Ginevra. Anyway, I have seven children. I think if I was going to lose anybody, as you so clearly stated yourself, I would have lost one or two before you, don't you think? You never know, I may very well have had ten or eleven children, and you would have been none the wiser." She winked at her scandalized daughter.

Ginny chuckled and reached for a scone. "I'm not used to this mum. I used to babysit Alex when he was little, but I was never put in the position to be his mother like I am with Ab..." She reached out and stroked the sleepy baby's long red hair.

The clock on the wall chimed, causing Ginny to swivel around. Her face was flat upon Late For Appointment.

She jumped out of her chair and grabbed her coat. "I need to go! I have to go and sit with that damned magazine. I made the cover which I know should be an honor, but I just find last minute engagements such as these to be completely bothersome!"

Molly chuckled, bringing her now completely sleeping grandaughter over her to her shoulder. "Only a daughter of mine would be bothered by fame."

An owl squawked as it flew straight through the window, and into the flat that Draco had purchased for himself, for when he came back home from the war. It had lasted a lot longer than he had thought that it would, but at least he still had his father's fortune. In one corner sat a large stack of magazines. He wanted to stay updated about life while he was away, and tabloids seemed to be the best way for him to do so. He liked being in the loop, even if, with all things considered, it was irrelevant.

He looked up just in time to watch the Wizarding Breath magazine fall into his face. He groaned and ripped the magazine off of his face. This magazine was equivalent to America's People. The cover made his face fall.

Celebrity Wives Share Their Stories!(pg 143)

Several beautiful women were scattered across the cover, but right in the middle was the redheaded beauty he had grown to obsess over. She had her arms crossed and had a wand dangling from one hand.

He opened the magazine and searched frantically.

Damned magazines without their damned page numbers!

He finally found what he was looking for.

There was a picture of Ginny with her arms wrapped around a man he had never seen in his life. Both of them were sitting on a rather expensive in appearance, solid gold broom. He looked for a caption, but there wasn't one, so he simply read her part of the article.

'Eileen Inkberry: So, Mrs. Smucker, what does it feel like to be married to the best Chaser Quidditch history has ever seen? And all the while, you are an incredible Seeker in your own right!.

Ginevra Smucker: Well, I'll be honest, I still feel that I will always be a humble Weasley at heart. I love Darby more than I ever thought I would, and I'm so very happy to have found him, but I don't think that I love him any more just because he's a Quidditch player. I would love him just as much if he were a janitor. '

At this, Draco couldn't help but choke. Ginevra Smucker? That even hurt to think. Smucker...Ugly name if there ever was one...

'Inkberry:So, how did you two meet?

Smucker: Well, this is a story that Darby hates repeating, but I'll give you the exclusive. Just don't tell him I've told you! We met a few months after my last year at Hogwarts. I tried out for the Chudly Cannons. Wimbourne Wasps was the first team I ever went up against and he was there, of course. He caught me in the stands and said 'I'll make a deal with you. If you beat me I'll leave you alone, but if I win, we go on a date.' I won, and needless to say he didn't stop bothering me. Finally, after the one only time in history that the Cannons lost to the Wasps I actually agreed to go out to dinner with him. The date was terrible, but the company was wonderful, so we agreed to go out a second time. The rest is history.'

At that, Draco just had to put the magazine down. Not only was she a world famous Quidditch player, she was married to one as well.

He clenched his hands into fists and drew them to his face, unsure as to what he was really feeling. Jealousy, rage, fear...

"Fear?" he thought aloud. What was he afraid of? Was this Smucker character really a threat? Yes. Yes he was, but not because he had a better connection with her, or because they were a better couple, or any of those other cosmetic reasons. He was a threat because he had been around for all of the years that Draco hadn't been able to.

He lifted the magazine and read through their 'Relationship Stats', as they were called. They had been married for six years, but still no children. How was that possible? Ginny would never go so long, voluntarily without having at least one or two.

This has to stop. I need answers, and I need them now. I am going to see her again and this time, I need to make sure she knows exactly who I am.