What the Bloody Hell?

Chapter Four: Holy Chizpurfle

Ron stormed his way into the Gryffindor common room, knocking things over as he went. Growling at some first years as he passed by, he walked up to the seventh year boy's dormitory. He banged open the door, kicked his bed, then collapsed onto it.

Harry looked up from the book he was reading. "Rough night?" he asked. "I heard you had to partner with Parkinson for rounds."

"Harry, she's a nightmare!" Ron groaned.

Harry shut his book with a loud snap. "What happened now?" he sighed.

"Everything was fine until she had to go all 'girl' on me."

"Pardon?"

"She started asking what I thought about her cutting her hair and then she accused me of not caring about her. The next thing I know, she's calling me a jerk and storming off." Ron ran his hands through his hair. "Women, I tell you. They're mental, all of them."

Harry looked confused. "Why would Parkinson care what you thought about her?"

Ron realized he had just slipped up. Oops. "Erm, I don't know," he quickly covered. "She's a girl, she automatically doesn't make sense."

"I suppose," Harry replied.

"I can tell there's something you want to say," Ron said. "Say it."

Harry shifted positions. "There's something bugging me," he began. "You never did tell us why she spent Halloween night in your bed."

"Harry, we were drunk. Who knows why or how she ended up here?"

"Ron, you were not drunk, as you made very clear to everyone else. You could have sent her back to Slytherin," Harry pointed out.

"I guess. I don't know, Harry, I was just . . . worried about her, I guess."

"Worried? About Pansy Parkinson?" Harry asked in disbelief. "There's something going on here that you're not telling me."

"I don't have to tell you every bloody little thing that happens to me," Ron snapped. "I'm allowed to have some secrets, you know."

"Okay, okay," Harry apologized, hands in the air. "I was simply stating a fact."

"Well, I wish you'd mind your own business!" Ron yelled. He shot Harry a glare, then shut his hangings. He angrily fluffed up his pillow, then laid down. Mumbling under his breath, he tried to calm down so he could get some sleep. Eventually, he managed to fall into a fitful sleep.

~*~

The next morning, Ron woke up in a foul mood. He grumbled about how annoying girls were as he dressed. He walked down to the Great Hall alone. Upon entering, the first thing he did was glance over to Pansy at the Slytherin table. She was looking at him, but quickly looked away when they made eye contact. Ron groaned and moved to his seat at the Gryffindor table.

Ginny sat down next to him a few minutes later. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing is wrong," Ron replied.

Ginny helped herself to some toast. "Something is definitely wrong. You won't stop frowning. What happened?"

Ron sighed. "It's none of your business."

"Girl problems, huh? So, who's the lucky lady this time?" Ginny paused. "It's not Parkinson, is it?"

"Gin, seriously, leave me alone."

"Holy Chizpurfle, it is Parkinson!" Ginny gasped. "What is wrong with you?" she hissed.

"What's wrong with her?" Ron asked.

"She's a Slytherin! And a Parkinson!"

"Oh, grow up, Ginny. It's not the end of the world because I'm dating Pansy Parkinson!"

Ginny's eyes grew huge. "You're dating her?!" she shrieked loudly enough for the whole hall to hear her.

Ron groaned and smacked himself on the forehead. "Nice going, Gin." He got up and high-tailed it out of the Great Hall before he got asked too many questions.

Well this was fantastic. Now that Ginny knew Ron was dating Pansy, the whole school would know by the end of the hour. And if Pansy wasn't mad enough at him already, this was sure to put her over the edge. Ron would just have to hope and pray that Ginny wouldn't say anything and that Pansy would forgive him.

~*~

It seemed that at least one of Ron's prayers was answered. By the end of the school day he was still getting asked who he was dating and why did Ginny make a huge exclamation about it at breakfast. Ginny, apparently, hadn't breathed a word about it to anybody. He would have to remember to sit down with her and talk about it, rationally.

Ron's other prayer, though, had yet to be answered. Pansy had ignored him all day long and he wondered what rounds that night would be like.

After getting into a huge argument and blabbing to Ginny, Ron wasn't sure where they stood relationship wise. Were they broken up? Were they still together? Ron didn't want to find himself single. He quite liked being with Pansy.

So at 9 o'clock that night, Ron stood on the steps in the Entrance Hall, holding a box of chocolates. When Pansy strode in from the dungeons, Ron straightened up. But Pansy breezed right past him and continued on her way up the stairs. He followed her up to the second floor. She made it halfway down the corridor before Ron was able to catch up to her.

"Pansy! Wait up!" he called.

She didn't stop. Ron ran and stopped in front of her. He grabbed her by the arms before she could sidestep him. "What?" she asked, glaring at him.

Ron shoved the chocolates at her. "Here," he said. "These are for you."

Pansy looked down at the chocolates, then up at him. She groaned.

"What?" Ron asked, worriedly.

"Dammit, I can't stay mad at you!" Pansy cried. The next thing Ron knew, Pansy was pushing him up against the wall and kissing him.

The box of chocolates fell from Ron's hands as he wrapped them around Pansy's waist. He pulled her closer against him and deepened the kiss.

They stayed like that for a few minutes. Their frenzied kissing slowed down until they were lazily planting kisses on each other.

"Pansy, we're supposed to be doing rounds," Ron murmured against her lips.

Pansy pulled away from him slightly. "You're right," she said. "We should be looking around for quiet, out of the way rooms to make sure that no one is using them." She shot him a saucy wink and started to walk away.

Ron groaned. He grabbed the dropped box of chocolates and ran after her.

Pansy had paused beside an open door. She smiled at Ron as he approached her, then, as soon as he was near enough, she grabbed him and threw him into the empty room.

"I can't believe you told your sister!" she shrieked. "I'm surprised the whole school doesn't know by now!"

Ron rubbed his elbow where he had slammed it into a desk. "I didn't mean to tell her. It just came out."

"You better be so glad that she's kept her big mouth shut," Pansy hissed, advancing on him.

Ron backed up into a chair. "I . . .? I am," he stammered.

"Because if she had said a word to anybody, I would have had to break up with you immediately! And I would really hate for that to happen."

Ron collapsed into the chair. "What?"

Pansy sat down in the chair next to him. She grabbed one of his hands and started playing with it. "I really like you, Ron. I don't want word to get out about us because I'm afraid it would ruin everything we have. It's not ideal to have a boyfriend you have to sneak around with, but it's better than having a boyfriend everyone hates. I don't want my friends and family to turn against me because of who I like. I don't want them to constantly tell me that you're not good enough to date me, that I should break up with you, or to harass you because you're dating me. Until we can find a way to let everyone know and have them be okay with it, I would much rather keep this a secret."

"I agree completely," Ron murmured. "And I really am sorry that I let it slip to Ginny. But I'll have a talk with her and make sure she understands that she can't tell anyone."

"Thanks, Ron," Pansy smiled. She leaned over and kissed him gently. "Come on," she said, standing up. "We've got rounds to finish."

~*~

That weekend was the very much anticipated Quidditch game between Slytherin and Gryffindor. Pansy had warned Ron that she wouldn't be rooting for him as she was a Slytherin and wanted her house to win. Ron had said he hadn't expected her to root for him, but to not be too upset when Slytherin lost.

Even though Pansy was dressed from head to toe in silver and green, and was helping Daphne and Blaise hold a gigantic Slytherin banner, she couldn't help but admire Ron as he rode out onto the pitch on his broomstick. How had she never noticed how well he filled out his Quidditch robes before? She could barely take her eyes off him.

The game started out fairly boring. The Gryffindors had the Quaffle first, but they quickly lost it to the Slytherin Chasers. Ron blocked their attempted goal, and Daphne called him a dirty word. Then the Gryffindors had their goal blocked. Finally, ten minutes into the game, Slytherin finally scored. After that, it got much more fast-paced and exciting. There was so much action going on with the Chasers and Keepers that hardly anyone noticed when Harry and Draco started diving for the Snitch.

The two Seekers were neck and neck for awhile before Harry's Firebolt pulled ahead of Draco's Nimbus Two Thousand and One. Draco tried to grab onto the back of Harry's broomstick and pull him off course, but Harry was too quick and managed to catch the Snitch.

There was a loud groan from the Slytherin side that was drowned out by the cheers from the Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs.

"Stupid Potter," Daphne muttered. "Wish I could hex him and get away with it."

Blaise nodded as he began folding up their enormous banner. "We can still have a party tonight, even though we lost."

"Yeah? And what are we supposed to celebrate?" Daphne asked, hotly.

"The fact that we're not Gryffindors," Blaise replied.

"Or Hufflepuffs," Pansy muttered.

Daphne smiled. "Or Hufflepuffs," she repeated.

Laughing merrily, the three of them walked down the stands to the ground. When they got there, the Gryffindor Quidditch team was passing by on their way to the locker rooms. Ron caught Pansy's eyes. They burned into hers and Pansy got a sudden rush of warmth through her body.

After the Gryffindors had passed by, Pansy said to Daphne and Blaise, "Hey, I think I forgot something up in the stands. I'll catch up with you later."

"Okay," Daphne said. "We'll stop by the kitchens and get some food for our little celebration." She and Blaise ran off, laughing again.

Pansy waited until she couldn't see them anymore, then walked off towards the broom shed. She was hoping to catch Ron and congratulate him on his team's win. She had to wait quite awhile until anyone showed up to put their brooms away. Most of the Gryffindor team passed by her, ignoring her, but Ron wasn't with them. They put their brooms away, then, laughing, headed back towards the castle. Pansy hid behind the shed when Draco and the Slytherins showed up. They would think she was waiting for them and then she'd have to go back to the castle and miss Ron.

When Pansy heard them leave the broom shed, she moved towards the front of the shed again. She looked towards the locker rooms, wondering where Ron could possibly be.

"Well, hello there," a voice said from behind her.

Pansy spun around to see Theo Nott leaning up against the door frame of the broom shed. "What do you want?" she groaned.

"The question is, Pansy, what is it that you want?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?"

Theo pushed himself off the frame and walked closer to Pansy. "Hiding from the rest of the team, coming out when they leave, knowing that I'm still here . . . it's obvious you were waiting for me."

Pansy scoffed. "Why would I want to wait around for you?"

Theo brought a hand up to Pansy's cheek; he touched it lightly. "Pansy, darling, you miss me," he stated simply.

Pansy stared at him in disbelief. She had dated Theo briefly in sixth year, but she had ended it when he started making eyes at Susan Bones. She hadn't really liked him anyway. "I don't miss you," Pansy argued.

Theo started stroking her hair. "No need to lie, doll." He chucked lightly. "How could you not miss me? As I recall, you were always quite anxious to be alone with me."

"Look, I'll admit that you are a fairly decent kisser, and that I really did like kissing you. But I have no need or want to do anything with you anymore," Pansy replied.

Theo smiled. "Keep telling yourself that, Pansy. When you finally admit to yourself that you want me again, you know where to find me." He dropped his hand from her hair and stalked off.

Pansy turned to watch him go, still in shock. Her eyes widened even further when she noticed Ron standing a few feet away. "Ron," she gasped.

"What was that all about?" Ron asked, narrowing his eyes at her.

Pansy glanced over at Theo who was now far enough away to be out of earshot. "I'm still wondering that myself."

"It looked to me like you were flirting with him," Ron growled.

Pansy's eyes flicked quickly back to Ron. "What?" she shrieked. "I was not flirting with him! He was flirting with me!"

"And you just stood there and let him?" Ron angrily pushed past her and entered the broom shed.

Pansy followed him at a run. "For your information," she said hotly, "I was telling him that he was wrong. He thought I wanted to get back together with him."

Ron turned to face her. "Do you?"

"What! I . . . I . . . why would you think that?" Pansy cried.

"You seemed perfectly fine with him touching all over you."

"He was just touching my hair!" Pansy yelled.

Ron angrily slammed his broom down in its spot on the wall. "He wasn't just touching your hair. He was trying to seduce you."

Pansy stared at him in shocked silence for about two seconds until she burst out laughing. "Merlin!" she cried. "You're such an idiot!"

Ron glared at her. "Just break up with me already, don't insult me first."

When Pansy kept laughing, Ron stormed from the shed. Pansy stifled her laughter and followed him. "Ron!" she called. "For goodness sake, get back here!" Ron kept walking away, so Pansy ran up and stopped in front of him. Poking him in the chest with a finger she said, "There is no reason that I would break up with you. I really, really like you. I really like being with you. I have no feelings for anyone else, whatever it is you may think. That thing you saw with Theo? That was nothing. That was Theo being stupid and thinking that he's God's gift to womankind. Yes, I dated him briefly, but I broke up with him because I didn't like him. And I don't like him now. The only person I want anything to do with is you, so get that through your bloody thick head!"

Ron's eyes smoldered into Pansy's. Without a word, he gathered her into his arms and kissed her hungrily.

When the two finally pulled away from each other, Pansy murmured, "I'll take that as your apology."