Gazing

Gazing

Chapter 11

by Myka

beta: Amber

~~~~~

"Well, he certainly looks better," James said three days later, hand firm on the wall for support.

"Maybe he's just better," Sirius said, looking over James's shoulder.

Both boys kept themselves hidden a few steps up the stairs of the boys dorm, well hidden behind a wall and intently watching the subject of their discussion. Remus was sitting in one of the big cushions by the fire of the Gryffindor common room with some of his homework lying around while he waited for James and Sirius to go down for breakfast.

"Maybe it's because you stopped wearing that necklace," James added, to which Sirius frowned.

"I think I should put it on again, see what happens..."

"Tonight's the full moon; it could be more dangerous."

"But we're not even sure Remus is a...you know."

"A werewolf?" James pointed out.

"Yeah," Sirius said under his breath and frowned again. He didn't know what to do. What was probably the greatest gift he'd ever received was now hidden away in a box in the bottom of his trunk because there was a possibility that it was making Remus sick. James seemed convinced that Remus was a werewolf.

Sirius shook his head. Remus was just too nice to be a werewolf. There was something inside of him that refused to accept the possibility even if all the clues pointed to it. Remus was too nice, it couldn't be; but being mean or nice had nothing to do with being a werewolf.

"C'mon," James said. "Let's go to breakfast."

-------

Breakfast and the morning classes passed without incident or mention of the full moon. If memory served Sirius right, nightfall happened around half an hour before curfew. By lunch Remus' good mood seemed to be at an all-time high, even after they had disastrous results during Potions.

"What are we going to do after dinner?" Remus asked casually after fifth period. James tilted his head in mild curiosity. Remus had never asked what they would be up to before.

"Well," James nodded, "we'll be going to the library."

"The library?" Sirius snapped. "What are we going to do-"

"Yes, the library," James repeated very sternly, giving Sirius a deep look. "We need to go to the library because we have to finish that essay for Divination, don't you remember, Sirius?"

Sirius stood there, slightly perplexed, then his eyes got bright and he nodded. "Yes, that essay, I had almost forgotten about it, stupid stars."

"Oh," Remus said holding the books in his hands a little closer. "Okay." He walked on, looking as if he was considering this thoroughly. James and Sirius lowered their pace until there was enough space between them and Remus.

"Why are we going to the library? We have no Divination essay, just a stupid list we have to make and all those star thingies," Sirius whispered so that Remus wouldn't hear.

"Curfew is after dark, and if we have essays to do we need to stay in the library until they kick us out," James whispered back. "If Remus is a werewolf, he won't be able to stay."

"Oh," Sirius said. He thought about this sudden plan, took a deep breath, then sped up until he caught up with Remus.

-------

The library was quiet. Too quiet. Sirius stared at his homework, wondering how he would be able to do it when it was so quiet. After three years doing his homework in the common room, along with the common room noise, the absolute quiet of the library was making him lose all his concentration. James, on the other hand, seemed to be enjoying the newfound silence and was almost finished with his work.

Remus kept his eyes attached to the pages of a book. Calm and quiet, nothing out of the ordinary considering that Sirius was sure the moon would rise in around twenty minutes. James's theory was quickly going down the drain, and Sirius drew a bit of happiness at the thought. In twenty minutes it would all be over and James would have to drop all the werewolf nonsense, and Sirius could go back to wearing his necklace. Then all three of them could start causing chaos again among the Slytherins. Especially Snivellus.

A book suddenly slammed shut across from him. Well, not so much slammed; the book was just closed shut, but with all the absence of noise it might as well have been slammed.

"Eh," Remus almost whispered to keep the silence in the library. "I'm a little tired, I think I'm going to head to bed early."

Sirius blinked and stared. James looked up from his work, feigning little interest. "Oh, really?" he said calmly. "It's not even dark out yet."

"Yes, well." Remus scrambled for his book bag and tried to put his book inside. "I think I had too much dinner, and well, I'll just be going to bed early."

"Oh," James nodded, "of course, I'm sure Sirius can manage on his own."

"Hey!" Sirius burst, and Remus gave him a 'don't raise your voice in the library' look. He pouted and lowered his voice. "I can manage quite well on my own, it's not like this is hard."

Remus looked from Sirius to James and vice versa. "You're going to stay here until they close, right?" he asked cautiously.

James kept his voice neutral. "Yes, we will."

"Ok, then, see you tomorrow then." Remus put his bag over his shoulder, lingered a bit, then left the library. Sirius' eyes followed him all the way then settled on James as worry started to sink in.

"He could really have a stomach ache," Sirius said, knowing that he didn't actually believe the words.

James wrote some more on his homework. "We'll look for him first thing tomorrow. I read that there are usually scars left over that last a few hours after a transformation."

Sirius nodded, made a weird sound, then closed his own book. "I need to know," he announced, completely ignoring the 'silence in the library' rule. "I need to know now."

James stopped writing.

"Are you coming?" Sirius asked, putting his book bag over his shoulder.

"No," James said, and Sirius blinked then started to leave. He paused by the door, then ran back to James. "Can I borrow it, then?" he asked, making signs with his hands. "You know, that thing."

James eyes widened a bit, but he hid it. "Sure, but if you lose or damage it, you'll have to give me your firstborn."

"Deal," Sirius said and left the library.

-------

Remus threw his book bag on top of his bed and ran back out and down the stairs. He had waited to see whether Sirius or James left the library in case he needed to accidentally lose them, since he had chickened out on the 'mom's sick' excuse, but James and Sirius hadn't left and he had ran out of time. He was very lucky, though, that Sirius and James had an essay to do and had to stay in the library, giving him enough time to make his escape without being noticed. He was never this lucky. He quickened his pace, knowing Madam Pomfrey was waiting for him by the castle gates, and ran across the common room and out the portrait hole, concentrating solely on not colliding with anybody. So determined he was that he didn't notice the familiar black hair and pose of his friend standing in the common room.

-------

Sirius gaped as he watched Remus run past and out of the Gryffindor common room. He had chased after him when he had left the library, sighing in relief when Remus had gone to the common room and frowning with dread when he had seen him run back out. Acting quickly and making up his mind, Sirius ran to his room and opened his trunk, almost tumbling all the contents inside until he found what he was looking for, then he dived under James's bed for the other thing, hid it in his pocket and ran back down. Outside the portrait he asked a few girls who had been hanging around whether they had seen Remus and which way had he gone. They said that Remus had gone down the stairs and towards the main corridor which lead to the castle entrance, the dungeons and other classrooms. Sirius' best bet was the castle entrance, and, knowing Remus, he would want to avoid crowds, which led to another route which Sirius himself had showed the other Gryffindor; but Sirius knew a shortcut Remus didn't know, and, unlike Remus, Sirius didn't care about running towards his destination.

-------

Remus walked fast because no matter how late it might be, running was not in his system. Especially not running inside school halls. He was happy Sirius had showed him this route, which was a bit longer than the normal route but student free so that he could almost run without worrying.

Then he heard footsteps.

Remus stopped and glanced behind him to find the hall empty and quiet. He looked around and saw nothing even though he couldn't shake the feeling that someone was or had been there. He ran for real this time; noises in empty halls inside a magical castle made his imagination run wild, and right now his imagination kept telling him someone or something was trying to sneak up on him.

He heard the footsteps again.

Remus turned around again and met an empty hall once more. He took a deep breath and told his brain to calm down and stop imagining things. He turned around, determined to make it to the castle gates this time without looking back, and instead froze on the spot and took a long, shuddering breath.

"Sirius?"

The dark haired boy blinked and stepped closer to Remus. "You said you were going to bed," Sirius said.

Remus cringed, and not just because the words sounded accusatory, but because the silver necklace was back on Sirius' neck. He had had high hopes to never see that thing again. Sirius had stopped wearing it for no particular reason, and Remus had assumed a teacher had told him he couldn't wear it around school, which was a perfectly good reasoning; the thing attracted way too much attention. But now it was back, and Remus could feel the effects of it immediately.

"Forgot I had to see Madam Pomfrey," Remus said as he took a deep breath and stepped forward, trying to walk past Sirius. Sirius grabbed his arm as he passed, and bile rose up Remus' throat from the silver of the necklace.

Remus stared at the window and the approaching darkness.

"Why do you keep staring out the window, Remus?" Sirius asked in a suppressed voice.

"Please let go of me, Sirius," Remus said calmly. "Please."

Sirius didn't let go. The sky outside the window was turning from golden pink to grayish; the sun almost gone.

"Tell me what's wrong," Sirius asked again.

Remus stared at the window and back at Sirius, meeting his grey eyes and shaking his head slowly. "No. Just let go, Sirius," he pleaded.

Unexpectedly, Sirius relaxed a bit, loosening his grip just slightly. Remus sighed in relief, then suddenly, the grip tightened again and Sirius pulled him forward, wrapping his arms around Remus' shoulders. "Are you really?" he whispered, but the words remained unheard. The necklace touched Remus' face. He screamed.

There was suddenly three feet between them. Remus' whole body was shaking and he took breath after breath, trying to calm his heart. The pocket inside his robes had torn during the struggle to get away, and on the floor laid the lunarscope, bright words shining on its surface: FULL MOON.

Remus' eyes widened in fear and he gave a step back. Sirius stared at the lunarscope then back at Remus, glancing at the window and touching his necklace. It all made sense now.

His mouth opened and closed, a single word leaving his lips, whispered.

"Werewolf."

Remus started shaking his head and he bit his lower lip, his face filling with anguish. Then, without saying a word, he turned around and ran down the hall.

For a few moments Sirius stood motionless, watching Remus run until he couldn't see him anymore. His fingers pressed against his palm. Remus was a werewolf. A werewolf. Tonight was the full moon. He had two choices: He could go back to the dorms and wait to look for Remus in the morning with James, or he could...

Sirius swore and snatched James's invisibility cloak from where he had left it on the floor. Then, after picking the lunarscope, he bolted right after Remus.

-------

The cold night air made Sirius shiver even under the invisibility cloak. He had reached the front doors and after peering outside saw two figures moving hastily across the grounds; he followed them. He shivered again under the cloak, the sky almost completely dark now but still no sign of the moon anywhere. He walked faster, trying to catch up with the two figures after they had disappeared beyond the top of a hill. He tripped when his foot hit a rock and had to quickly pull the cloak over himself again. When he finally reached the top of the hill, he saw the two figures walking calmly straight towards the Whomping Willow. Sirius swallowed the urge to scream at them to be careful and instead hurriedly ran down the path, keeping his eyes firm on the ground so he wouldn't trip again, and when he finally looked back up again, the willow was motionless and only the taller of the two figures remained.

Sirius kept his distance, wondering where Remus had gone. Then suddenly Madam Pomfrey turned and started towards him. Sirius moved silently out of her path and watched her cautiously as she returned to the castle. He blinked and looked towards the willow again and approached it carefully. Without notice it suddenly moved and swiped one of its massive branches at him, missing him by just a few inches. Sirius fell back and let the cloak fall from his shoulders. He stared at the moving tree, knowing that Remus had disappeared somewhere close to it. He was sure of that.

Sirius pulled the cloak back over his head, disappearing under it. He then took his wand and the lunarscope from his pocket, casting a warming charm on himself then starring at the small object in his hand which still spelled the words FULL MOON on it. He twisted it between his fingers and put it back in his pocket, feeling the charm's effects. As the warmth settled on his body, he sat on the ground and settled in for a long night.

A few minutes later he saw the moon high on the sky, bright and mesmerizing. The wind blew, and Sirius could swear that far far away he had heard a wolf howl.