Gazing

~~~

Remus blinked a few times before he realized that the Slytherin boys weren't leaving. Then, the one Sirius had called Snivellus said something that Remus couldn't hear.

Lucius Malfoy grinned. "Heard you are Black's new pet. Is it true?"

Remus blinked. "What?"

"Severus tells me that you and your mates gave him a little bit of trouble this afternoon."

Remus spared a glance at the boy Sirius had hexed. So Snivellus wasn't the boy's real name after all. "I didn't-" Remus started to say, but he was interrupted.

"Don't deny it! I saw you," Severus snapped.

"Didn't you know," Lucius cut in, "that your new friends live to torment other people?"

Remus frowned at the older boy. "Like you're any better," he said instantly, knowing the boys reputation, and instantly regretted having said anything at all as he watched the grin vanish from Lucius Malfoy's face.

In the blink of an eye, Lucius stepped closer to Remus and seized his arm just below the shoulder in a tight grip. "We were thinking a little payback is necessary," he said with malice, raising Remus's arm upwards suddenly. "You know, an eye for an eye."

Remus grimaced. "Let go! You're hurting me!" Lucius snickered and tighten his grip further.

It happened quickly. Remus noticed the boy called Severus had a sort of mad grin on his face, then the grip on his arm tightened again, and Remus had a brief chance to glance sideways in time to see Lucius Malfoy raise a fist then swing it down violently. The blow struck Remus right across the face, and at the same time Lucius released him making him stumble to the ground. At first Remus couldn't believe it. Had that boy actually just struck him? But then the hurt started creeping up the side of his face, and the pain erased his doubt.

Remus looked towards the infirmary in hopes of seeing Madam Pomfrey, anyone, there. Two pair of feet blocked his view of the infirmary, and Remus looked up to see the leering faces of the two Slytherin boys. Remus instinctively gazed down, expecting to be hit again or kicked, but neither happened.

"That was for the hair," Severus said, then stepped away.

Then Lucius Malfoy took his place. "Tell Black that the Slytherins don't like to be played with and that next time, any insults by him will be paid by you. And it will be much worse than this," he said.

They left, and Remus waited until they were out of sight to try to stand, which he did easily. When he finally arrived before Madam Pomfrey, who was in her office, she gave him a small lecture as they made their way to the Whomping Willow. Remus got past the hole and into the tunnel, where Madam Pomfrey said her goodbyes due to lack of time.

Remus had a lot of time to think as he made his way through the dark passage alone. He was thinking that he enjoyed Sirius's company, he loved not being alone, but being Sirius Black's friend was turning dangerous. When he finally reached the Shrieking Shack and locked the door, the moon had almost completely risen. Remus could feel the peculiar burning of his blood as he placed a hand on the stair rail.

He'd only known Sirius for a week and so far he'd broken curfew, received a detention, participated in a prank, and been threatened.

Remus reached the second floor of the house and caught a glimpse of the moon through a crack in a boarded window. He took a sharp breath and entered the room where he, Sirius and James had been just hours before.

First, James had threatened him, and though he seemed to have forgotten the threat, he hadn't actually retracted it. Now the worst Slytherins Hogwarts had seen in quite a few years had threatened him, and with physical harm, no less. Apparently it wasn't enough that he bit and scratched himself every full moon.

Remus passed the scratch marks he'd made on the wall and gripped the nearest post of the four poster bed. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end and the already too familiar tinge of pain that came with the change.

He loved being Sirius Black's friend, but being Sirius Black's friend was turning into a very bad idea.

Remus gasped as his heart gave a loud thud and shut his eyes, his grip on the post tightening unconsciously.

Maybe it would be safer if he wasn't Sirius's friend anymore.

The moon rose.

Remus screamed.

~~~

Sirius was the first to wake up. He found himself in an unusually good mood, even for him. He dressed quickly and rushed down to the common room to wait for Remus. He didn't bother to wake James because it was a Sunday and James had made it perfectly clear over the last two years that Sundays were sacred for him and that Sirius would suffer terrible things if he dare wake him up. But Sirius also knew that Remus had been the one doing the waiting for breakfast all week long and Sirius wanted to be the first one today. It was all part of his plan to make Remus the next Marauder. James seemed to still need some convincing, which was why Sirius hadn't told him yet what his intention was. Plus, he still had to test Remus. He hadn't forgotten about that.

A short time after he sat down to wait, Gryffindors of all ages started descending from their rooms and out through the portrait hole toward the Great Hall. Sirius sat patiently, glancing at the exit of the boy's dorm with a bit of anticipation. More and more people passed until eventually James came down, and if James was up, it meant it was late and that breakfast would soon be over.

"Did you eat already?" James asked with a yawn.

"Remus hasn't showed up," Sirius said, sounding concerned.

James opened his eyes wider, looking more alert than before. "That's odd," he said.

There was some noise behind Sirius, announcing the entrance of Gryffindors returning from breakfast. James's eyes shifted from Sirius to the noisy group, and Sirius recognized the familiar look that fell over James eyes.

Near the entrance to the Gryffindor common room was a small group of third year girls, among them the one that Sirius had marked as the object of James's attention: Lily Evans.

"Hi, Lily," James said almost instantly. Lily stopped her conversation with her friend, whose name Sirius knew was Alice. Lily looked forward at the voice and scowled. Sirius inwardly rolled his eyes while James just kept on smiling. Unlike Sirius, James apparently didn't notice that Lily didn't fancy him even a bit.

Sirius approached the girls without a second thought. He didn't noticed how most of them blushed as he approached. "Have any of you seen Remus?" he asked.

Some of the girls blinked, others just stared forward blankly, then Lily stepped forward with a slight frown on her face.

"Haven't you heard?" she said sounding confused.

James seemed to have snapped from his daze and was now standing beside Sirius.

"Heard what?" Sirius asked Lily.

She turned to look at the rest of the girls for a second then turned back towards Sirius. Her voice very careful, she informed him, "We heard Lucius Malfoy beat up Remus last night."

There was a second of pure silence, and Lily could almost feel instead of witness Sirius's reaction.

"What?" Sirius yelled, his eyes bearing on Lily as if almost daring her to say the words again.

"That's what we heard in the Great Hall. The rumor, I mean, it's all over the Slytherin table," Lily said hurriedly. But by the time she had finished the sentence Sirius was already halfway through the portrait hole.

Lily turned to look at James for a second, as if she were afraid of the effect her words might have. James just gave her a wary glance before running after Sirius.

~~~

Remus woke when the sun hit his eyes. He didn't even know what time it was. He blinked once then tried to sit up and instantly stopped due to the pain coming from most of his body. It had been a bad night.

At least he had woken up in the infirmary and not on the Shrieking Shack's floor as he sometimes did. For a moment Remus wished he had a mirror to see how bad the damage was, then thought better of it; he'd rather not know, and besides Madam Pomfrey made most of his wounds disappeared before noon. It was a pity she couldn't do the same with how much the wounds actually hurt.

Remus yawned. He was always exhausted after the full moon, and much to his dismay, yawning hurt. He slowly raised a hand to his face, touching the spot where it hurt, and as he grimaced from the pain he remembered how he'd gotten this particular bruise: Lucius Malfoy.

Remus lay back down and closed his eyes. He didn't want to think about that now; he just wanted Poppy to come over and finish fixing him up so he could meet Sirius and James before they woke up. If they asked about his face, he would say that he had fallen down the stairs. The infirmary door opened, and Remus glanced curiously towards it. He almost stopped breathing.

Not this. Anything but this.

Remus had hoped that he would be able to be up and about before breakfast started, and if he couldn't make it, he could have made the excuse that he had overslept. He had hoped in vain. Sirius had just opened the door to the infirmary, glancing quickly around the large room until his eyes found Remus and practically running towards him.

A twinge of fear swept over Remus. He didn't want Sirius to see him. Anyone but him. How did Sirius know where he was? Did he know what he was? But Remus couldn't think anymore, because Sirius was by his bed, his face pale and his eyes searching. Some sweat ran down his forehead, and a few strands of hair fell over his grey eyes.

"Sirius," Remus muttered in a quivering voice.

Sirius gave another step forward, and Remus couldn't stop staring at the look in Sirius's eyes.

"I'll kill him," Sirius said, his voice barely a whisper.

Remus blinked. "What? Kill? Who?" he asked, confused, but hushed once more when he saw Sirius's hand reach toward him and gently touch the bruise on his face. Remus grimaced a bit, and Sirius pulled his fingers away and grazed another wound on his forehead. This one, Remus knew, had been done by himself and not Lucius Malfoy.

There was more noise coming from the infirmary's doors, and Sirius took his hand away. Remus blinked then saw as James came over and stood by Sirius's side.

Remus exchange glances with the two boys. What could he say? What would they do? They would certainly leave him now.

"You-" James muttered under his breath.

Now that they knew what he was... Remus gazed down. No point in denying it; might as well confess it. He took a deep breath, mustered all his courage, and opened his mouth. "I am-"

"I'll kill him!" said Sirius, louder this time and Remus had a second to look straight into those fathomless grey eyes before Sirius turned around and headed out of the infirmary in a half-run.

Remus's eyes widened, and James turned his head around to watch Sirius leave. Why had Sirius left like that?

Remus sat up, ignoring the pain from his body. James heard the noise and turned to face him again. "I have to stop him," he said, starting to walk away.

"James!" Remus yelled, making James pause. "Kill who? What is he talking about?"

James looked confused for a second but quickly recovered himself. "Lucius Malfoy," he said, as if this should be obvious to Remus, "for what he did to you."

After that James ran out of the infirmary, leaving Remus in utter shock on the bed.

'Oh no,' Remus thought.

Sirius believed that... He and James thought that... that his wounds...that all his wounds were caused by Lucius Malfoy.

Oh no, indeed.