The Temptation of Cocoa and Firewhiskey

The Temptation of Cocoa and Firewhiskey

A wave of panic rushed over Remus Lupin when he realized he didn't know where the bloody hell he was. His eyes fluttered open wildly, his breath quickened, and a nervous sweat began to trickle down his forehead. No, no, no, no, no. He couldn't remember the night before at all. How was it he had no recollection? He turned his head and a searing pain shot through his neck.

A candle was flickering softly on a table beside him.

It then occurred to Remus that he was laying on a mattress in a candle-lit room with insufferable head pains and (he lifted a heavy hand to his bare abdomen) no clothes on. No, this was not at all a thought he found comforting.

He had another go at moving his head, this time completely lifting it up from the mattress, but his body argued with him and he was forced to settle back down into a pillow that had a rather odd smell. Like cocoa and firewhisky. Remus didn't dislike the combination. In fact, he found it intriguing. Whose bed was this with such an interesting smell, he wanted to know? But then, the panic of where he was returned and he dismissed the curious smell of the pillow.

Think. Where is my wand? His hand shot down to his side where he usually kept his wand in the waistband of his pants. Ah yes. I am stark naked. He felt his face grow hot. Who was going to find him here without a stitch of clothing on? The thought was humiliating. It could be worse. No one could find me at all.

A surge of fear hit Remus and he jerked himself up from the pillow, sitting himself straight up on the mattress. His eyes darted around the room anxiously until they locked onto the person standing in the corner by a locked door. He yelped in surprise and moved his hands to cover as much of himself as he could.

The person was standing in shadows and Remus found his features to be undistinguishable without the light of the candle.

"It's okay," said the voice. It was cool and collected.

Remus blinked.

"How are you feeling?"

Blink.

"I'm sorry you have to wake up like this. You must be horribly confused."

"Just a bit, yeah."

The voice laughed. It was the genuine laugh belonging to that of a young man.

Remus grinned, despite himself.

"Oh you're bleeding just a bit there. On the forehead." The owner of the voice took a step forward and Remus gasped.

A mane of silver draped the face of Draco Malfoy as he stepped into the light.

"Draco?"

"Professor."

Remus' eyes were huge. "What's going on?"

Draco slid onto the edge of the bed next to Remus and dabbed at his forehead. What Remus had thought to be sweat was actually blood.

As Draco worked at cleaning his cut, Remus took the time to evaluate him. His looks had changed drastically since their last meeting. That night on the astronomy tower...the night Dumbledore had died.

That night, Draco had been worn and exhausted. His face had been dull and pale and his hair had fallen nearly to his shoulders. Now, he looked handsome and his skin was glowing. His hair almost sparkled, cut shorter than before with a few pieces straying in front of his eyes. Remus was beside himself.

"I found you last night, Professor."

"No need to call me Professor, Draco. I am no longer your teacher."

"Sorry, sir. What shall I call you?"

He thought about this for a moment. "Remus is fine."

"Remus," it sounded strange to hear the words. "I found you last night, or rather early this morning. You were lying naked in my backyard, you see."

Remus' cheeks were back to blushing as he was reminded again of his nakedness.

"You don't really need to be embarrassed. You looked, I mean you look, erm." It was Draco's turn to blush.

"Let's not bother ourselves with venturing deeper into this matter than necessary."

"Right. So I found you naked in my backyard and-

Something in Remus' head suddenly clicked. Last night had been the full moon. He remembered pushing away the goblet Snape had handed him with the potion fuming inside. "Draco I must explain what happened. I'm sure you're aware of the extent of my...nature."

"I know you're a werewolf, professor. I mean, Remus. And it doesn't bother me. Though I'm assuming you are about to explain that you were transformed when you decided to curl up behind my house?"

"Exactly. I don't remember the precise happenings of last night. All I know is I didn't take my Wolfsbane Potion and had to place myself deep into the forest before I began to change." Remus buried his head in his hands and sighed. "God knows what I did last night. I only hope no one was hurt."

Draco placed a shaky hand on his former professor's shoulder and was surprised by its warmth. He was even more surprised by the reaction it had on his heartbeat. Could Remus' werewolf senses detect the sudden quickening of his breath as his chest began to rise and fall rapidly? Draco wasn't sure if he wanted Remus to know what his touch did to him or not. But he kept his hand on the bare shoulder, unable and unwilling to take it away. Remus glanced up at the blonde boy. Well, the blonde man by this point, Remus decided. Draco had to be at least seventeen since it had been over a year ago he saw him last when he had been a sixth year. Yes, Draco was a man. Quite a handsome man, at that. This thought unnerved Remus slightly and he shook the soft hand off of his shoulder despite how calming it had felt against his skin. He was suddenly aware of the silence in the room and cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"I'd like to thank you, Draco, for taking me in. But I must ask, why the hell did you? Judging by your past, I never took you to be the considerate type," Remus said. Then he realized how much of a prick he was being and followed it with, "Oh that sounds awful. I apologize. Especially after what you've done for me."

"It's fine. No, you're right, I never was considerate. Especially not to you. But you must understand Remus," Remus shuddered at the casual use of his name rolling off the tip of Draco's tongue. "I am substantially different than I used to be. Pardon my language, but I was fucked up big time. If it hadn't been for Professor Snape I would either be dead or this," he lifted up the left sleeve of his black sweater to reveal his dark mark, "would still be controlling my life." His eyes drifted back to Remus' and he continued. "My father is in Azkaban and the name Malfoy will never be respected again, but perhaps the name Draco will be. Perhaps, now that the war is over I...I can begin." He finished and looked away from Remus, toiling his thumbs in his lap.

"I believe that...perhaps you can, Draco. Indeed, perhaps you can."

"Thank you, sir," said Draco, his voice gentle and quiet. "Now that that's settled, let's get you some clothes, hmm?"

***

"Who?" Sirius asked. His eyes were wide and disconcerted. "Exactly who found your stupid arse last night?"

"This morning. Draco Malfoy. Sirius why are you laughing?" He rolled his eyes at his friend sitting across from him at The Three Broomsticks. It had become the two best friends' ritual to meet nightly at the pub and laugh over endless butterbeers. They never spoke of the war. Or of Harry. Conversation was strictly superficial. Mostly gossip and details of recent shags. Well, mostly Sirius' shags, as was expected. Remus mostly spoke of funny things happening at work. Something idiotic a student did, or a joke he had heard in the faculty room. This night, however, Remus had told Sirius of his forgotten evening and his unexpected rescuer.

"A fucking Malfoy? Moony, you've lost your mind. It couldn't have been that brown nosing, conspiring, little chicken shit!"

"Lower your voice for Christ's sake."

"Sorry, mate," said Sirius, his voice dropping lower. "Have you forgotten what this boy has done?"

"Of course not, Sirius. I never forget."

"And you didn't jinx the hell out of him when you had the chance?"

Remus considered this for a moment. "I might've if I had been given the chance but when I woke up I didn't have my wand. He had hidden it you see. Probably for that very reason. Clever lad, that one."

Sirius ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "So let me get this absolutely straight. Not only did you fail to take your potion last night, but you woke up in baby Malfoy's arms and let him take away your wand? And you actually listened to the tripe he fed you?"

"I believe him, Pads. He wants to start over. You can't necessarily blame him for that."

"Well he can start by going to hell. That's what I would've told the pussy if I had been there."

"So it's good you weren't," Remus said coolly. Sirius glared at him for a moment, then took a swig of his butterbeer. "Fine. If you believe the bastard is all dandelions and rainbows now, then I'll believe it too. Begrudgingly. Even though I think it's the biggest codswallop I've ever heard-

"Sirius."

"Fine, fine. Not another word out of my mouth about the fucker." Remus cocked an eyebrow. "I mean...the adorable little prat. Don't look at me that way Rem, that's the best I can do."

"Thanks, Sirius. I sort of owe him my humility, you know."

"I suppose you sort of do." Sirius lit a fag. "So how does he look?"

Remus choked on his butterbeer, coughing and sputtering with surprise from the question. "What do you mean?"

Sirius smiled. "Well we can both admit that Lucious was always quite something to look at. I imagine Draco didn't fall too far from the tree in that department." Remus was blushing like mad. "So how does he look?"

"Fine," was all Remus said.

"I'll bet." Sirius laughed at his crimson-faced friend and took a long drag from his cigarette.

***

Remus went to bed that night more than slightly drunk. The dizziness felt good as he stared up at the ceiling and his head was crammed with visions of shimmery silver hair and soft hands and...uh oh. Remus regarded the uninvited swelling under the sheets warily. It was one thing to find himself aroused from thinking about Sirius, which happened most drunken nights. It was another to be aroused with thoughts of Draco Malfoy and how good his touch had felt. How strangely considerate he had been. How he had felt Draco's heart quicken at touching his bare shoulder. It had been so erotic to be naked on a bed with him. He remembered how the pillow had smelt of cocoa and whiskey and Remus took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. Trying to ease down his erection. But in the next moment, his hand was touching himself, rubbing himself, coaxing his pulsing cock into sweet submission until at last, he came into his hand.

"Dammit."

***

The next day came and brought with it, a headache for Remus. He had been brushing his teeth when he suddenly remembered. It was exactly three months today since the war ended. He wasn't surprised at all by the knock on his door as he was pulling a shirt over his head. He opened the door to a very downtrodden looking man.

"Sirius," he said simply. And that was all it took for Sirius to fall into Remus' arms, dry sobs exuding in shakes. Remus led him inside his quarters and closed the door behind them. It was the routine. Sirius would come over and Remus would let him cry on his shoulder. Then they would have tea. Sometimes they would fuck. But they would never talk about Harry.

So it was strange when Sirius spoke to him over tea thirty minutes later. "I wish it had been me instead. I really do."

Remus eyed his friend curiously. "I know you do. But we both know that wouldn't have been possible. It had to be...him who finally did it in the end."

Sirius kept his eyes on his tea. "You can say his name around me, Remus."

"Harry. It had to be Harry who did it."

"I know. He was brave wasn't he?" Sirius grinned and looked at Remus. "Just like James, he was."

"Just like James."

"I still wish it would have been me."

"I know it. Me too."

Sirius brushed his foot against Remus' under the table. Ah, so the comforting part of the day was finished, Remus thought.

***

It wasn't until four o'clock that Sirius let himself be pushed out of Remus' bed. "I have classes to prepare for and papers to grade," Remus had said.

"It's your own fault for assigning so much homework, you hard arse," Sirius had responded, gathering up his clothes that had been lazily thrown around the bedroom. "Have you seen my underwear?"

"The ceiling fan."

"Ah yes. Thanks."

When Sirius had finally left, Remus showered and did indeed attempt to grade some papers. After about four essays about the sexual nature of Veela, however, there was a knock on his chamber door.

"Professor Snape," Remus said when he pulled back the door. Severus Snape was standing in front of him, the usual smirk across his face. "Please, do come in."

"That will not be necessary, however unfortunate that may be," Snape scowled at the werewolf, furrowing his eyebrows in a way he probably thought to be intimidating. Remus would be lying if he said it wasn't. "I need only to ask you a question, if you would be so kind as to answer it."

"Of course, Severus."

"Why didn't you take the wolfsbane you incompetent? Are you completely dense? I was under the impression that you enjoyed sparing the lives of others."

Remus' face fell drastically and panic took his heartbeat. "What did you say?"

"Oh relax, you insufferable beast. No one was hurt, no one even saw you," Remus let out the breath he had been holding. "But that doesn't excuse the fact that you didn't take it. And I know you didn't simply...forget."

Remus sighed. "I don't know what happened. I just..."

"You just risked the life of every human on the grounds you imbecile!"

"No. I...I left the grounds."

"You left the grounds? Where, dare I ask, did you go? The zoo?"

It was Remus' turn to smirk, though the look didn't quite work as well on his soft face. "I found a nice forest to contain myself in."

"And that's how you ended up in Mr. Malfoy's backyard?"

Remus blushed and Severus shook his head knowingly. "You're lucky my godson is so kind. I would have left you in the middle of the street, had you ended up naked on my property."

"You're godson was kind. Very kind and I am very grateful in return." Remus crossed his arms over his chest, wishing the conversation would just end as soon as possible.

"I can tell you are too cowardice to actually explain yourself, Lupin, so I'll go." He turned to leave but stopped. "I saw Black leaving here earlier. I do hope he knows he was wearing his pants backwards." And with that, Snape stalked off back towards the dungeons. The miserable old man, Remus thought.

***

It was two days later when Remus saw him. He was in Diagon Alley buying some new grading quills, when he saw the blonde head bobbing above the rest of the wizarding community. Without thinking, Remus ran to catch up with him.

"Remus, hello." There was his name again.

"Hello Draco. How are you?"

"Fine. You?"

"Good. Thanks very much. Erm..." Remus had already forgotten any words other than the ones he most desperately wanted to say. I want to fuck you, I want to fuck you, I want to fuck you. "Er..."

"Would you have a bite to eat with me?" The blonde asked innocently. Remus sighed gratefully and nodded. When they were sitting at the window table at The Three Broomsticks for lunch ten minutes later, they were in full conversation.

"How is your head? I see the cut has healed nicely."

"Thanks to you it has. Really, Draco I...I'm very grateful that I ended up in your backyard. And that, of course, you hadn't encountered me during my transformation."

"I am equally grateful. For both. It's not every day you get to-" he stopped.

"Get to what?"

Draco blushed and he looked down at his lap, toiling his thumbs. Remus recognized this habit immediately.

"Get to see me naked?"

Draco's fidgeting stilled and he looked up at the man before him. "Yes."

Now Remus was struggling not to fidget. This was wrong. This was most unnatural. He thought of Sirius laughing his head off and grimaced.

"I'm sorry. I've made you uncomfortable. I'm going to go, then." Draco stood up from the table and before Remus could say anything, he was out the door.

Remus rushed after him. He easily spotted the blonde head and followed the fast moving figure through the crowd of wizards and witches loaded with new cauldrons and robes. Draco ended up ducking into an alley. Remus walked quietly up to the entrance but stopped short of revealing his presence when he peeked around the wall and saw what was happening.

The blonde's back was to him but it was evident what he was doing with his hand. Quiet moans were escaping from the back of Draco's throat and his fist was moving with a fierce pounding motion. Up and down, up and down.

"Remus," he said.

Remus gasped for breath. Remus, he thought. That's my name, isn't it?

***

Sirius had wanted to know all the details from the infamous "date". Remus only succumbed to calling it a "date" after Sirius had teased him for a good half hour about not having an actual one in months.

"Ok so you were on this date. Did you pick him up or what? Please tell me you brushed your hair first."

Remus cringed. "No it wasn't like that at all. We just sort of ran into each other in Diagon Alley and he asked me to have a bite with him."

This caused Sirius to raise his eyebrows. "He asked you out?"

"Is that so hard to believe?"

"And you went to have a," he was laughing uncontrollably now as Remus knew he would. "A bite?"

"Oh piss off, Sirius. Really it's embarrassing enough as it is."

"Ok, ok. I'm...I'm sorry, Moony." Sirius bit his lip to stifle his compulsive rolls of laughter.

"Ugh. You are hopeless. Really you are." Remus stood up from the table. "I'm going to have a smoke. Please, if you're fond of your health, don't follow me. I'll be back."

Remus huffed away from the table and his hysterical friend, and trudged through the door outside. He hastened to light his fag but burnt himself on the lighter.

"Dammit!" he hissed. "Fucking, fucking, fucking dammit!"

"Now that kind of language won't get that light working," said a small voice behind Remus. A pale hand extended from beside him and took the lighter from his hands. Draco Malfoy lit Remus' cigarette with one smooth motion and pulled out one of his own to smoke. When they were both lit, Remus dared a glance at Draco, who was looking right back at him, expectantly.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Nothing else was said. The two men simply stood together in the dark and smoked quietly. It wasn't a particularly awkward silence either. Almost natural, Remus thought. Almost. Remus couldn't help but notice the elegant way Draco held his cigarette between his fingers, the way his lips parted to draw in the smoke.

"We never got that bite, Draco," Remus said after a while. Draco looked at him, his eyes large. "I wanted that bite, I think."

"Did you? I was under the impression that I disgusted you." Remus wondered if Draco honestly believed this. The idea of Draco disgusting anyone seemed highly unlikely. He watched, mesmerized as the lips opened to the cigarette again and he stammered for the right words.

"No! Well...no. Bloody hell, I don't know why this is so hard. I...I'm just a little slow on the uptake of things, Draco. Please understand that you...in no way disgust me. In fact, I find you to be one of the least disgusting people, erm, men that I know," Remus said. They both let the statement linger in the air between them for a minute. Remus could tell that Draco was digesting the compliment, planning what to say next. But before his trail of thought could be disrupted, Remus continued. "What I'm saying is, I want to bite, I mean, I would like to, no...I...If you wanted, or if you still want- me? -I'm saying that I want, erm...you as well." He finished and quickly went over in his head what it was, exactly, he had just said. Something about wanting and biting.

"Remus. I would love to bite you," Draco said.

Remus simply stared at him, flabbergasted. "Oh?"

"Oh yes. May I?" Remus nodded and Draco tilted his head.

He leaned in. Remus smelt cocoa and firewhiskey and they kissed. It was a smooth, tender kiss, and when neither of them pulled away, Draco deepened it, slipping his tongue over Remus'. He tasted like Remus expected him to: good.

"I've been thinking about you," Draco breathed into the other man's ear. "I know that you were watching me in the alley." Remus felt his face flush. Whether it was from the fact that he had just been caught or the fact that Draco had his hands on his arse, he wasn't sure. "No, I liked that you were watching. Did you like seeing me touch myself, Remus?" Remus nodded and bent down to graze Draco's throat with his mouth. He tasted so sweet. Draco had his hands on Remus' face now, caressing his skin softly. His fingertips smelled like cigarettes. Remus wondered if they tasted as good as the rest of him and he realized he wanted more than anything to taste every inch of Draco Malfoy, but remembering that Sirius would be wandering outside soon, looking for him, he pulled away.

"I have to go back inside. I'm with someone," he said, his brown eyes locked onto Draco's blue.

"Black?" There was no cynicism or hate in the way he said the name. Strange, Remus thought. There usually was with most people.

"Yes. Sirius is inside and I really should be getting back before he drowns himself in a vat of butterbeer." Remus brushed a strand of hair out of Draco's eyes. "I still want that bite."

"Then you'll see me around, won't you?"

"I hope so."

"Goodnight."

Draco left and Remus stayed outside to watch him leave. He only went inside after all traces of the blonde head were veiled in darkness.

***

Life as an ice cube is a lonely one; a pathetic existence determined by the occasional meltdown, only to freeze back up again. Remus Lupin was an ice cube. A contrived block of solid water that leaked cold air and icy vibes. Like great, heaping exhaustive fumes of loneliness that threatened the happy nature of all those surrounding him. At least, the few misguided souls who actually got close enough to the werewolf to choke on his epidemical exhaust. It was a small, ever dwindling number kept only by one constant, Sirius Black. Who was this Black character anyway? Damned if Remus knew. Lover? Friend? Bastard? The truth was, he was all of the above on most occasions. But Remus could say this about his best friend, he was always there. Most of the time that was a good thing, but sometimes it wasn't. Times like right now.

"Sirius you have to leave. I'm expecting company really soon," Remus said, practically begging at Sirius' feet. Sirius, who remained planted on Remus' couch, merely yawned at his panicky friend.

"Don't expect me to be bum-rushed out of a good shag until you tell me who it is you're having over, Moony."

"Ugh," somehow Remus could find no better way to express his agitation than to make the apparent groaning noises and pull at his hair with timorous fists. "Errrrrrr! Sirius! Get! Get!"

"Get? Are you actually shooing me out of your room?"

"Yes, Sirius. I am literally shooing you," he swatted at his dark haired friend, "out of my room. Honestly mate. Go bother Harry and Hermione or-" Remus realized his mistake. "Ah. Right. Sorry that was an impulsive thing to say, Pads."

An odd silence stirred uncomfortably between the two men. Then, Sirius stood up and without a word walked out, closing the door softly behind him.

"Dammit, Remus you sodding idiot. Fuck!" Remus could have kicked himself for the unintentional comment but thought against it. His legs were usually banged up enough with the turn of every moon without having to help out with the process himself. Besides, kicking oneself is probably easier said than done. No bother. He would apologize to Sirius first thing in the morning. Or right after his erm...date?

Right, he thought, recollecting his thoughts. He had booted Sirius out for a reason after all. One didn't just boot Sirius Black out unless he had a pretty damn good reason. In Remus' case, his reason was very damn good. Not to mention tall, blonde, and...knocking on his door right at that second.

Remus rushed to the door and cracked it open. "Hi."

"Hello. Thank you for having me," said the very delectable Draco Malfoy, stepping though the open door Remus held for him. Remus breathed in his scent as he passed. There was that pleasing smell again. Cocoa and fire whiskey. He let it fill his nose for a brief, blissful moment before remembering that, in order to live, one must eventually exhale.

Back on earth, Draco was sitting politely on Remus' sofa. He looked amusingly out of place in the boring room. Somehow, he seemed to glow even more significantly against the dusty bookcases holding rows of books beyond books. Remus chided his curious vexation of the fact that Draco looked better in his living space than he did, but he figured Draco had that affect everywhere he went, not unlike his father. Remus found a space beside Draco to sit, not too close, though not far enough away so that, if Draco wanted to, say, put his hand on Remus' thigh, it wouldn't be too unreasonable a stretch.

"I'm glad you came by."

"Glad you asked me, to be honest. I'm afraid I have a way of being too forward with people I find attractive." Draco kept his eyes on Remus. "But if I want something, I get it." When Remus raised his eyebrows, Draco added, "usually."

"I take it then, that you find me attractive?" Remus silently scolded his insecurities that always enjoyed popping out at the worst possible times. Draco scoffed, though not unpleasantly.

"I do...find you very attractive. Though I would have figured you'd known that for a while now." Draco calculated in his head. "Or at least, what? Three days?" They both laughed and Draco eased himself back on the sofa a little more. Remus relaxed to see that Draco was relaxed. This whole thing was still very strange.

"I agree. It's strange for me too," Draco said and Remus wished for the second time that evening that he could kick himself for letting his last comment be said aloud.

"Erm...I didn't mean to say that last bit, actually. But now that it's...up in the air, perhaps we should discuss it?"

"All right. I will start," Draco cleared his throat consciously, scooted himself closer to Remus, and placed that soft hand on his thigh, causing small shakes of pleasure to shoot up Remus' leg. "Remus. You were my teacher when I was a third year. You, like many, believed me to be as insatiable as my father and with right cause. Harry Potter saved my life and killed Lord Voldemort three months ago. He saved my life and in doing so, lost his own. I've started over. I've started over and I can't think of anyone else I would rather have accompany me in the process. You're sexy and you're strong and...you've got these scars that I keep noticing and they drive me a little crazy, to tell the truth. I know you're twice my age and I'm half yours but it doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you. And it really, really doesn't bother me."

Remus blinked. Funny how Draco always said things that caused Remus Lupin to lose his ability to form actual words.

"In case you're wondering, the scars drive me crazy in a good way."

Remus traced one of the scars across his face with his fingertips and grinned. "That's good." Draco squeezed Remus' thigh and moved his hand further up. "That's good, as well." Remus bent his head back against the couch, relaxing beneath Draco's touch. He'd almost forgotten how shaky those hands had been that first day, when Remus had been naked and Draco had placed a hand on his shoulder because now, Draco's hands were caressing every inch of him, and they weren't shaky at all. They were stimulating. Draco was stimulating. Remus grabbed Draco's face and pulled him into a violent kiss. They both opened their mouths to it, letting their teeth clank and their tongues explore the unfamiliar territory.

After a few minutes of unrelinquished snogging, Draco's hands began to move more freely. He slipped one hand up the back of Remus' shirt and moved his other even further up Remus' thigh. He deliberately skipped over the growing bulge in Remus' pants and began to toil with the buttons and zipper instead. Remus stopped him.

"Don't."

The sudden break from each other's mouths gave Draco a bit of a dizzy feeling. "Don't what?"

"I'm sorry. This isn't right. You're so young. I can't."

"Do not malign me Remus," Draco said, instantly enraged. "Don't you even dare."

"I wasn't," Remus said quietly. By this point, Draco had moved away from him on the couch and was smoothing his blonde hair back irately. "Draco,"

"I'm sorry, Professor. I don't know what I was thinking," Draco said, standing up from the couch. Remus stood up as well.

"I do and there's absolutely no reason to call me professor. Now, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you but I have good reason to stop-

"You have one reason Professor and his name is Sirius Black." Draco stormed out of the room. Remus let him go.

***

After a few chugs of wine and a change of attire (a soft brown sweater vest), Remus left his Hogwarts chamber and headed down the hall, searching for his friend. He would find Sirius, stammer some form of an acceptable apology, and buy them both drinks at The Three Broomsticks. Remus was halfway down the hallway when he heard a small cry. He stopped in his place and was sure that if he had been in his werewolf form, his ears would have quirked back in suspicion. He stood for a moment and just listened. There were no signs of danger in the air and he didn't hear anything else strange...where had the noise come from? Remus turned to his left where a nearly headless translucent gentleman greeted him.

"Hallo Professor Lupin. How do you do this fine evening?"

"Erm, just great Sir Nick, thanks very much. And...and yourself?"

"Excellent, excellent. Though I am quite concerned about something. Could you perhaps be of assistance to me for a moment Professor?"

"Certainly. What's the trouble exactly?"

The ghost motioned down the hall. Remus looked past him (through him, actually) and saw that Nick was pointing at the girl's bathroom.

"The w.c. giving you problems, eh?"

"No, sir. There are people in there who are breaking some very serious rules I'm afraid," the ghost laughed and Remus had to hide his revulsion as the head bent grotesquely back on his shoulders. "Hehe...serious...do you get it?"

"Erm, right. So do you want me to check it out then?" The ghost nodded fervently at Remus, who had already begun his way back down the hallway. Sirius could wait a few more minutes to be comforted.

"Oh thank you Professor Lupin! You truly are an honorable addition to this faculty. I keep telling everyone about how lucky Hogwarts is to have a fine, decent teacher like you back."

Remus grinned sheepishly back at Sir Nick, relieved to see that his head was adjusted firmly on his shoulders. As he neared the bathroom door he heard another odd cry. "Did you hear that Sir Nick?" Remus turned around but the ghost was nowhere to be seen. Remus reached into his trouser pockets and pulled out his wand, holding it in front of him readily. Then, with one swift motion he kicked open the door and screamed. It would be better to say that he had yelped, yelled, or gasped (all in a tone of undeniable manliness) but he didn't do any of those things. Remus Lupin kicked open the bathroom door, saw the two interlocked figures with long dark hair, and screamed like a first year...girl.

"Bloody hell, Moony! I thought for a moment we were getting attacked by a banshee, you crazy git!" yelled Sirius Black, half laughing, half alarmed. Maybe even half embarrassed if it were possible to be three halves of something all at once.

"Sirius? Wha-wha-"

"Oh really Lupin, are you completely unable to form intelligible responses in my presence or have you merely taken upon the act of being an incompetent fool as some sort of social experiment for your third years? Neither which do I find extremely...impressive."

Remus gaped at the two men standing before him in the girls' bathroom. The girls' bathroom?

"Did you-are-I-what?"

"Moony, your face looks unattractive when you're confused out of your mind. Did you know that? It sort of contorts into this weird, grimace thing. Like you might like to eat me or something. Look! Look, Severus, do you see the face? Isn't it frightening? Doesn't it make you uncomfortable?"

"It does, rather."

"Shall we run away, do you think? Before he actually takes the eating us thing into consideration?"

"That shouldn't be necessary, Black. In case you haven't noticed, the man hasn't actually said anything since he, so rudely, barged in on us seconds ago. I am as perplexed as he, yet I have enough sense to verbally communicate with others through awkward occasions such as this one."

"This is very strange. I swear, he's usually much more satiable than this. I mean, you should see him drunk. He's quite a laugh. Chatterbox, this one."

"Hmm...I don't believe I wish to imagine the two of you drunk together."

"Oh well, erm...I am a very responsible drunk. On most occasions."

"Somehow I think you're lying through your teeth."

"You mean the teeth that were biting you earlier?"

"Really, Black."

"The teeth you were licking? Haha, it sounds weird, doesn't it? Severus Snape was licking my teeth. And I liked it."

"You always do, I am afraid."

"You're not afraid. You're infatuated beyond belief with me and don't pretend like you're not. I know you too bloody well."

"I assure you, you do not. As I am rather enjoying this little banter we are having in the girls' bathroom...Black, Lupin, I must be off. I have things to do, potions to brew."

"You're a dork," Sirius said. He kissed a rather smug looking Snape on the jaw and winked at Remus, who was still standing, flabbergasted, against the cool bathroom wall.

"Goodnight to you both. Oh Lupin, do close your mouth. You are drooling." With that, Snape left the bathroom and Remus wiped at his mouth with his sleeve.

"So that was strange, eh?"

Remus stared at Sirius, his expression completely impassive.

"Remus? Earth the Remus?" Sirius neared his friend cautiously. "Are you okay? Have you gone over the bend, at last?"

"Let...me...get...this straight," began Remus. "You and Snape were ... in the girls' bathroom? And the noises I heard!"

"It's called snogging Remus. And why not do it in the girls' bathroom? No one uses this one but Myrtle anyway and isn't it loads less conspicuous this way? No one would expect us to be in here. We're boys, you see and," Sirius stopped talking because Remus had started to advance him from the opposite end of the bathroom.

"How long have you been fucking around with Snape, exactly?"

"It's none of your business."

"I'm your best mate! It's almost as much my business as it is your own."

"Is it? Okay then, who were you expecting over tonight?"

"That is none of your...oh." Remus sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Sirius, come back to my room and let me get you drunk, please. We have a lot of catching up to do, I'm afraid."

***

"I don't believe you, Moony. I just can't picture it. A student?"

"He isn't a student anymore Sirius. Not in the least. Besides, it's over."

"By the sounds of it I don't see how it ever really began."

"Oh you're right. It's pathetic. I just," Remus turned on the floor and propped himself up on his elbow to face Sirius. "I just fancied him a bit is all."

"He does have nice hair."

"That he does."

"Quite fanciable, that Draco Malfoy is."

"You're mocking me."

"That's what friends do."

"Good. Because it's my turn. Severus Snape?"

"Yes."

"Can I ask you just one question?"

"All right."

"Are you mad?"

"Maybe I am, Remus."

"How long?"

"That's two questions...three days."

"Hmm..."

"I think it's as strange as you do, believe me. But I can't help it. It just sort of happened the other day. It's funny really. I was just leaving here when he stopped me in the hall to tell me my pants were on backwards and then we ended up having tea and...so on."

"So after you shagged me you moved on to your next victim, is that it?"

"Hey, don't do that."

"Do what?"

"You know exactly what. And don't do it."

"You're right. Sorry. But did you know that the reason Draco stormed out tonight was because of you and me?"

"How do you figure that?"

"He said something about me having one reason not to and having it be Sirius Black."

"Wait, wait, wait. A reason not to? A reason not to what?"

"Not to...you know."

"Oh." Sirius rolled onto his side. The fire was dying down in the fireplace and the room was only barely lit. "Am I the reason Remus?"

Remus stared at him. Sirius stared back.

"No."

"Oh. Good. I'd hate to be the reason you're not getting any."

"If anything, you're the reason I still get any at all. But I suppose that should stop now. What with you and your um...new thing."

"He doesn't know about us."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Well there isn't really much to tell. Is there?"

"Oh. No."

"Listen I'm tired out of my mind and too drunk to manage back home. Mind if I?"

"You know you can." Remus stood up from the floor and headed for his bedroom.

"I'll take the couch, then?"

"Don't be ridiculous. You'll take the bed with me like you've always done. I don't care who you're shagging, I've got first dibs on you."

Remus lifted Sirius from his place on the floor next to the fire and the two men stumbled through the darkness into the bedroom. As friends. Maybe.

***

Remus Lupin used to hold his own hand. When he was younger, he, James, and Sirius would all be laughing in the Gryffindor common room far after everyone else had turned in for the night. Remus would be curled up in his favorite chair by the fire, and James and Sirius would be sprawled out on the rug together, holding hands and talking softly to each other every now and then so that Remus couldn't overhear. And in those moments where he was excluded, Remus would hold his hand. Just softly graze one hand to another and entwine his fingers. He would imagine it was someone else applying the gentle pressure, squeezing lightly. But then the moment would pass. Sirius and James would be back to laughing obnoxiously (usually about Remus' face) and Remus would let his hands fall free of each other and go back to gazing at the fire and making the occasional remark until it was late enough to excuse himself.

Now, nearly twenty years later, Remus Lupin was lying in his bed and holding his own hand. Sirius lay beside him reeking of booze and sex. But not sex from you, sex from Snape, Remus reminded himself. He was trying to decide if the whole situation actually bothered him and if so, why? It wasn't Remus' business who Sirius fancied. Surely Sirius would shag him and leave him just like he did with everyone else. It had already been three days, Sirius had said. Maybe day four will snap him back to reality and Sirius will wake up and smell the coffee. Or rather the stench of accumulated grease and potion musk.

"Mmm..." Sirius mumbled in his sleep. Remus smiled. It was good to see his friend sleeping so deeply. Too bad Remus couldn't sleep himself. His mind was too polluted with thoughts of blonde hair and pants buckles and things. Every time he closed his eyes he was back in the living room with Draco, pushing him away. The scene played back in slow motion and every time Draco sneered at him, Remus practically moaned out loud.

"Remus, you are an idiot," he scolded himself quietly. His voice sounded big in the small bedroom and Sirius rolled over. Remus crawled out of bed and pulled on his slippers and robe. It was no time for sleeping, not when there was so much to be mulled.

***

He shuffled quietly down the streets of Diagon Alley, not really concerned that he was still in his sleeping attire and house slippers. It wouldn't have been too bad of an evening if the wind hadn't been blowing so hard, but it was and it was. Whoever said that walking eased tension was all sixes and sevens because Remus had been walking for thirty minutes and the only thing that had changed was the loss of feeling in his bits.

"In the town where I was born, lived a man who sailed the sea," Remus sang quietly to himself as he walked. "We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine..."

"You skipped the rest of the verse."

Remus nearly jumped out of his skivvies when he heard the voice. He turned around and, leaning against the brick wall of The Weasley Joke Shop, was Draco. He held a cigarette in his long fingers and brought it to his mouth slowly, watching Remus.

"Don't you have a house or something? How is it you're always lurking in the exact same spots I am?"

Draco shrugged. "You can't just go skipping The Beatles."

"I forgot the rest."

"Well then you shouldn't have even begun. Never sing a song when you don't know every single fucking word by heart."

"I'll be wary of that next time, then."

"Make sure you are," Draco said. Remus continued his walking down the street. He was surprised when he heard the sound of footsteps following him.

"But if you absolutely need to sing something, Madonna is always a fine choice."

Remus turned around to face Draco. "Why is that?"

"Because no one really cares if you mess up her lyrics. Besides, who doesn't know Material Girl like the back of their hand?"

"This is true."

Draco took a step toward Remus. A strand of hair fell in front of his eyes and he pushed it away with his hand. When he spoke his words were steady. "Are you in love with him, Remus?"

"Pardon?"

"Do you love Sirius Black and does he love you back?"

"Draco, Sirius and I are not together."

"That's good. But that isn't what I asked you."

"No. We're not in love."

"Then why did you pull away from me tonight? Why didn't you let me touch you? I thought it's what you wanted."

"You don't know what I want, Draco," Remus said, surprised at the unintentional cruelty in his voice. Draco must have been surprised as well because his face fell to a frown and he turned away.

"I was under the impression that you wanted me. I'm sorry if I got mixed up."

Remus sighed and took a few cautious steps towards Draco. He lifted a cold hand and made to place it on Draco's shoulder, but Draco grabbed the hand into his own. Remus gasped from the warmth and forced to meet Draco's gaze. "But of course, I didn't get mixed up at all, did I?" Draco asked, knowing the answer already. "I don't have the patience to do this, Remus. I've already wasted my life doing things for other people and now it's time to do things for myself. I'm asking you now, do you want to be with me?"

Remus thought. What did he want? What the fuck did he want?

"I'm not wasting anymore time with this if I'm the only one interested. I may be younger than you but I'm no fool."

There was a moment when Remus squeezed Draco's hand, and Draco squeezed back. Then he dropped his cigarette and put it out with his shoe. He took Remus' other hand and brought them to rest around his waist gingerly.

"You're not the only one interested," said Remus finally. And without thinking, without caring, without knowing whether or not Draco would pull away, he kissed him. The familiar taste filled him and the kiss deepened. When Draco pulled away he was smiling and Remus knew exactly what he wanted.

"Let's get out of here."

***

Remus wondered why they didn't go back to Hogwarts. "We can go back to my chambers," Remus had offered. But Draco had been persistent and Remus didn't feel like he was in any position to argue. So he prepared to apparate, closed his eyes, grabbed Draco's hand, and the two wizards disappeared with a crack.

When he opened his eyes, a large mansion stood in front of him and Draco was already walking up the steps to the front door.

"So this is the Malfoy Manor," Remus said, his tone soft.

"You're observant," said Draco, as he waved off the ward charms with his wand. The house was made of dark gray stone and the windows were black and gated. Remus thought it to look right out of the Gothic era, and it probably was.

"I didn't think I would ever see it."

"You already have, Remus. Remember? Naked in my backyard and all that?"

"Right. Well I didn't think I would see it from the inside. Wait. I did that as well, didn't I? Ok, how about this? I never imagined I would be fully conscious, fully clothed, and fully invited into the Malfoy Manor by Draco Malfoy himself."

"Yet here I am holding the door open for you."

Remus jogged up the steps and passed Draco into the forier. It was dark and not much could be made out of it, but Remus liked it. It smelled like Draco.

The door shut behind Draco as he entered the house after Remus. They stood in silent darkness for a moment before Draco spoke up. "Sorry it's so dark. But I prefer it this way."

"It's fine. I like it."

"Do you?"

Draco took Remus' hand and led him through the halls. The walls were elegantly draped with expensive pieces of art and several portraits of Draco holding his broomstick and wearing his Slytherin robes. Remus wondered if walking through this house gave Draco the same feeling of nostalgia it gave Remus. He could just picture himself standing in front of the classroom and looking out at a sea full of young wizards draped in greens and reds, silvers and golds. And he could remember one face particularly well. It was the face sitting in the back amongst loud, obnoxious Slytherins. The one who would openly insult everyone, Remus included. But there was always an unmistakable look in that boy's eyes: sadness. And Remus always remembered.

Draco stopped at a door. The last door at the end of a particularly long hallway. It was made of heavy wood with the carving of a snake on the front of it. Remus shivered. Draco pushed open the door with ease and pushed Remus through it. He slammed the door shut behind them and spelled the lock with his wand, which was now held tightly in his hands.

Remus smiled wryly and looked around the room. It was sparsely lit with candles and a single mattress lay uncovered on the floor. The room's only furnishing.

"This is where I woke up," said Remus. Draco tucked his wand in his back pocket and then took it out again. He placed it on the ground beside him instead, and began to move his hand slowly towards his belt buckle. Remus stared at him as he removed his belt, removed his pants, removed his shirt. He could sense Draco's heart beating faster. He could feel his own, as well. Now Draco was completely undressed and walking toward the mattress. He laid down on it, stretching the length of his body over the soft fabric.

"Remus. You're staring at me."

Concerns about Draco's age had always been a consideration in the backdrop of Remus' mind. His age, as well as who he was: a Malfoy. The enemy. He hadn't forgotten what Draco had done. And while you could blame Harry's death on him, you could easily blame it on anyone. Remus truly believed Draco was a changed person, a tragic boy with loveless parents who never taught him right from wrong. So when Remus removed his own clothes, he was certain he was doing something right for Draco. And something right for himself. Sirius kissing Snape...what a laugh. Wait until Sirius heard about this. Remus fucking a Malfoy. Remus imagined crawling back into bed with Sirius in the morning and whispering in his ear exactly what it was he had done. "And he was so much better than you."

He joined Draco on the bed so they were lying side by side. Draco gasped when Remus pulled him closer.

***

It was four in the morning and Sirius Black was stirring in Remus' bed sheets. His head felt foggy. Too much alcohol or not enough? "Oh bother," he grumbled, tossing himself out of the bundle and placing his feet on the floor.

"Moony?" He turned his head to the expected lump behind him and was surprised to see none there. There was an empty space that should have been filled by someone and Sirius couldn't help but feel a hint of discomfort creeping up in his stomach. "Moony?" No. No one was there. "Damn."

He made haste of slipping on jeans and a t-shirt, no socks or shoes, and leaving the chambers. He made his way down to the dungeons, walking quickly, if slightly off balance.

"Severus!" He yelled from the hall outside the Potion Master's door. "Severus!" It took only a moment for a grumpy, raven-haired man to appear in front of him. His face was stern but his eyes were unquestionably pleased.

"Black. Is there something you need?"

"You know what I need, Severus," Sirius answered.

"You're drunk."

"Not so much anymore."

Snape fixed his eyes on the man before him. It would be foolish to ever turn him away. "Come in."

Sirius entered the room gratefully and Snape closed the door behind them.

"Would you care for a cup of tea, Black?"

"You can call me Sirius, you know. We are fucking now," he said. His words were slightly slurred but making up for clarity in volume. Snape approached Sirius slowly, keeping his eyes locked sharply onto his. When there was nothing but clothes between them he spoke.

"Would you like a cup of tea Sirius?"

Sirius smiled. "Well yes, but now that we're on the topic of fucking..." and he kissed the man in front of him, who kissed him back.

A half hour later left them sprawled on the bedroom floor. They were both naked and sweaty and happy and jubilant (well, Sirius was jubilant) and content. Severus Snape's head lay serenely on Sirius' stomach. He could feel his body rising and falling with each breath, and he matched his own breathing with the same gentle pace.

"Mmm. I have to pee. But I don't want to get up," said Sirius. His words were no longer slurred from drinking but from shagging. The latter being the very best reason for slurred speech.

"I wish you hadn't told me that. Now I shall be worried you will do something immature to me while I am sleeping."

"Like...pee on you? That, Severus, is disgusting," he said with a laugh. "But I suppose it isn't too outrageous an assumption since I have done that to Remus a few times." Sirius giggled, yes giggled, at the image of Remus' adorably appalled face. His eyes shot to Severus, who wasn't looking pleased. "What? It was only a few times and I was drunk for the majority of them."

"I suppose the idea of you and your werewolf in the same situation you and I are in right now isn't something I wish to converse about," he said dryly. Sirius sat up, knocking Severus' head off of his stomach.

"Me and my werewolf? Let me tell you something, Severus. I will not allow anyone to refer to my best friend as a werewolf."

Severus sighed and stood up, reaching for his robe. As he pulled them tightly around his body he fumed. "Well he is a werewolf! What? Ashamed to admit it?"

"How dare you accuse me of that? When you know how I've stood by his side all these years? How he's stood by mine?"

"Yes I can just picture the two of, side by bloody side! Tell me Sirius, if he's always by your precious side, where is he now? In the arms of another man, like you are?"

Sirius stood up at this and brought himself near Severus' body, this time wrought with anger instead of passion. "I am not in your arms Severus! And I won't be again, you disgusting-"

Though the ranting stopped, it was not because Sirius was finished. But when being kissed, it can be hard to find the words you are looking for. And Sirius, indeed, was being kissed. "Ugh!" He pushed Snape away, slamming him into the wall. Unfortunately, Snape had not lessened his grip on Sirius so they both slammed into the wall together. More kissing. "Get off!" "Shut up!" "I hate you!" "Shut up!" A fist was thrown into the air, hitting someone right in the jaw. "Ouch! You bloody idiot!" "Fucking serves you right!" Kissing. A robe is tossed to the floor and the yelling stops at last.

Knock knock.

"Ah...just a moment!" Severus called to the door as he scrambled to put on his robes, store Sirius away in his bedroom ("First you punch me then you hide me?"), and waft the smell of sex away from him.

After a speedy ten seconds of delay, he opened the door to find an old, bearded wizard standing before him. Startling blue eyes stared out at him from behind crescent moon spectacles.

"Severus. I am so sorry to disturb you at this indecent hour but I'm afraid I have tragic news."

"Albus, come in, come in," he said at once, ushering the headmaster inside, praying he didn't notice the clothes lying all over the floor or (oops) Sirius' blood on Snape's knuckles. "Tea?"

"No thank you, Severus. Shall we sit?" He gestured to the chairs by the fireplace and Severus sat down with him, worry suddenly beginning to take over.

"Albus, what has happened?"

"My dear friend, I am forced to bring you the worst of tidings." A pause that lasted, Severus swore, an hour long. "Narcissa Malfoy is dead. She killed herself."

***

It is a strange thing to witness, the state of someone who has just lost a loved one. There are tears; strong and relentless and unforgiving. There is anger; fueled and unkempt and incredulous. There is the almost unbearable show of unremitting emotion that allows the onlooker to observe the rawness of that person. It is a strange thing. It is a sad thing.

Remus cradled the young boy in his arms, as he had been holding him all night. When the news had arrived by owl in the early hours of the morning, clouds that had been waiting anxiously in the sky emptied and rain beat down on the Malfoy Manor. Appropriately, thunder roared and bolts of lightening cackled mockingly in the dawning sky. The candle-lit room with the single mattress was abandoned and they now occupied the candle-lit sitting room, both nestled snuggly together, Draco's cheek still wet with tears against Remus' chest. As their breathing became more and more eased, the dreamless sleep potion worked in their veins, lulling them into peaceful rest. The rest was in due need for both of the wizards after the endured night of sex and death.

"Draco," Remus called from the couch, a blanket wrapped around his waist. "There is an owl from Hogwarts at the window." Remus had immediately recognized the owl to be from the school's owlry, though he did not pay it much mind. After all, it wasn't much his business who Draco corresponded with at the school. Probably Snape.

"Let him in Remus," Draco yelled from the kitchen. "Do you like lemon in your tea?"

Remus crossed the floor to the window and undid the latch. The bird flew into the room, its soaked wings flapping miserably. It finally landed on Remus' arm, where it shook water all about him. "What was that?"

"Lemon in your tea?"

"Ah," Remus said, wiping some water out of his eyes. "Yes please." The owl was nipping at his hair now so Remus untied the roll of parchment from its leg and gave it a Knut. It cooed a thanks and flew back out the window.

"Scone?" Draco yelled from the kitchen again. Remus laughed and headed into the next room, the letter in his hand. When he walked in, he laughed again to see Draco hustling about the kitchen like a house elf.

"Draco?" Remus held the letter out to the blonde, who took it from his hands and set it down on the counter without opening it.

"My godfather. Loves bothering me in the middle of the night, he does. Did you say you wanted a scone?" Draco gestured toward the table, where a plate of blueberry scones sat. Remus shrugged and took a seat across from Draco, who was clad in house robe and slippers. They were a vision of pleasure, all aglow with the feeling of new lovers.

"Did I...hurt you?" Remus asked into his teacup. He was sure he had, but he was curious for a response.

"No," Draco answered him honestly. "It felt good." They smiled at each other and Remus took a bite out of his scone. "It didn't hurt," Draco stated. The feeling of Remus on top of him had outweighed any feelings of pain. The feeling of Remus inside him had been unlike anything Draco had ever experienced. "It didn't hurt," he repeated, feeling a bit like an old record. Remus just took another bite from his scone and leaned back into his chair. Draco was reminded of the late hour.

"Why weren't you sleeping tonight, Remus?" Draco asked. Remus quirked an eyebrow.

"Why weren't you?"

"I was mending my tortured soul with insomnia and nicotine. What's your excuse?"

"Not so far off from yours," Remus said thoughtfully. It was true; he had not been able to sleep. But for what reason? Draco? Sirius?

"Hmm," Draco hummed. "Can I ask you a question Remus?"

"Yes, of course you can."

He took a deep breath. "Did you sleep with Sirius tonight?"

Remus nearly spilled his tea. "What? No. No I didn't."

Draco seems to consider this. "Remus."

"Draco?"

"Don't sleep with him again. I couldn't stand it if you did," Draco said simply. "Promise me you will never sleep with Sirius Black again."

As Draco looked upon Remus possessively, Remus tried not to stir uncomfortably in his chair. It shouldn't have been a hard promise to make. He didn't sleep with Sirius that often anyway. Even tonight had been innocent. Just two friends sharing a bed. Besides, Sirius was taken, having his new strange relationship with Snape. So Remus shouldn't have even had to pause to think about it. The answer was obviously yes. Probably even if Draco hadn't proposed it.

"I didn't sleep with him tonight, Draco. I swear it. I already told you that we're nothing."

"Remus please, just promise me so I will never need worry about this again." His voice sounded so pleading.

"I promise I won't, Draco," Remus said quietly. Even as he said it, he felt the whip cracking against his back, the chains tightening around his wrists.

"Good."

It is a strange thing to witness, the state of someone who has just lost a loved one.

After tea and scones, Draco and Remus stood from the table and made for each other gently, Remus pulling him against his body. It was then Draco remembered the letter sitting for him on the counter.

"I best read this and reply before he goes and calls the whole ministry for a missing person," he joked, unwrapping himself from Remus' arms and picking up the letter. "Right. Let's get this over with." He unrolled the parchment and leaned against the counter as he read.

"Draco,

I regret having to say this in a letter but I thought you must know as soon as possible and as soon as possible is by owl. Albus informed me this morning that your mother has-"

Draco stopped reading and his eyes grew wide.

"Draco?" Remus said, moving towards him and placing a hand on his shoulder. The letter was shaking in Draco's hands. "What's happened, Draco?"

"Dead. My mother has killed herself," he said, daring a glance at Remus, who was looking worried.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry," said Remus. He was trying to think back to what he always said to Sirius when he was mourning over Harry. Somehow, it didn't sound like quite enough with Draco. Draco, whom he did not know nearly as well as he knew Sirius. So Remus waited for the tears to come before gathering Draco and leading him to the sitting room where he held him close as he cried. Remus tried to fight the feeling of paternity as he comforted Draco. Was it wrong to come inside someone and act as a father figure in the time span of a few hours? Nevertheless, Remus soothed the crying boy as best he could and, when he went to pour them more tea, he slipped them both dreamless sleep.

Remus' last waking thoughts were of Sirius. How he had never dared use potion on him.

***

Sirius had gone back to Remus' room after staying with Snape the rest of the night. There had been no tears. Snape and himself had only talked of Narcissa, sipped wine, and played a game of chess, which Sirius dutifully allowed Snape to win. After a shag or four, they had finally said their goodbyes and Sirius had stumbled back in hopes of finding Remus back in his room so they could talk to him about what happened. But Remus wasn't to return until 9 o'clock in the morning, where Sirius greeted him with a cup of coffee and blueberry scones. Remus had frowned at this and scratched his head.

"I'm glad you're still here, Pads. I've terrible news," Remus began.

"Terrible news? That's no fair. I've got terrible news," said Sirius. "Whomever should go first? Ah well, I suppose you could go first. By the by, Narcissa Malfoy committed suicide last night. Okay, now you go first."

Remus groaned and fell into a chair. "Who told you?"

"Severus."

"Right. Should have seen that one coming, I guess."

"So we had the same news? How boring."

"Sirius, that is so inappropriate. A woman is dead," Remus said with no feeling behind his voice.

"Wait a second, how did you know?"

"I was with Draco when he got Snape's owl," Remus answered. He had forgotten about leaving Sirius in the middle of the night. Had he been concerned or had he just skipped off to see the Potions Master?

"Ouch. You were with him? Was he upset?"

"His mother is dead, of course he was upset," Remus said.

"Did someone have to play daddy last night?" Sirius said in a singsong voice. Remus shot him a look of venom.

"Why are you being such an inconsiderate arse?"

"I'm trying to cheer you up mate," said Sirius, shaking his shaggy head about. "You remember. I act like an arsehole, you laugh..."

"When has that ever been a routine of ours?" Remus said, staring at his friend blankly.

"Well it happened this one time...oh wait sorry. That's with Sevvie, not you."

"Sevvie? Oh my god!" Remus stood up angrily, and stomped to his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Sirius ran after him, banging on the door.

"Remus? Moony? What's the bloody matter with you?"

"You call him Sevvie now, do you?" roared Remus from the other side of the wood.

"I think it's nice to have nicknames. I call you Moony."

"But you're not shagging me!"

"Well not right now, I'm not. What's the deal?"

"You have routines!"

"Do not! Oh that. Well just that one. And not really."

"..."

"Moony?"

"..."

"Moony?"

"..."

"Oh bloody fucking hell. Alohamora."

The door opened and Sirius walked through, finding Remus on the edge of his bed, looking in a rut. He sighed and sat beside him.

"Did things go badly with young Master Malfoy?"

Remus shrugged and looked out the window. "I ran into him last night and we went to the manor. We slept together. It was different but it was nice. Then the owl. I just feel out of it, Sirius. And the bloody promise I made. Fucking hell. Sorry, mate. I just feel so goddamned out of place."

"It's alright. I think you're allowed that every once in a while, Moony. What promise did you make?"

"Not to ever sleep with you again."

Sirius rolled his eyes and kissed Remus on the cheek. "Don't worry. Can't get rid of me with a silly promise."

Remus touched the skin that Sirius had kissed. "What does that mean?"

"It means take a bath. You reek of whiskey."