Slug Four

SLUG FOUR: RETURN OF THE SLUG

At last, there is less than six months to go before I am free!

I´m taking Ginny with me, of course. When I leave this school, I´ll buy a nice big flat somewhere hot, and take her with me. In a hot place, she will be forced to remain in a bikini or less at all times. This is why I want to live in the Sahara. Are there any hotter places? What about that place in Arizona, or whatever. A valley of some kind. That should do the trick.

I don´t seem to be very welcome in Slytherin anymore, and the number of curse burns on my door testifies to it. So much so that the teachers have offered me a transfer into Gryffindor. When I asked why, they told me that I was brave. I know that. I´d have to be, to have dated Pansy Parkinson for a month. (Long story. You wouldn´t understand.) They offered me Longbottom´s bed. He died about a year ago. Poor sod. Fell off his broomstick. Well, essentially. Me crashing into him first obviously had nothing to do with it.

I have agreed.

I scared myself, too.

I´m going to start moving my things later on today, but first... CHOCOLATE!

It just doesn´t do to exercise on an empty stomach.

~*~

Well, this is my last night in my hated room. Tomorrow it´s Gryffindork country, here I come! So for tonight, I´ll stare out of the eye level window, over the ice-coated lake and the snowdrifts.

~*~

I just completed moving the last of my belongings up, and now I stand in an empty room, scribbling down my final thoughts of this place.

I hate it.

I´M LEAVING! WOOHOO!!!

~*~

Seeing as it´s still the holidays, I didn´t get the scary, scowly greeting I thought I´d get. Ginny flung her arms around my waist, and Weasel shook my hand. Potter gave me a small smile, and I was horrified to think that I´d be sharing a room with him. Granger blushed, and hid behind a book. Hogwarts: A History, I think. I loved that book. Read it loads of times. There´s so much to know about this school!... sorry. I lapsed into my enthusiastic geek mode. Eek. Scary.

Bet you didn´t know I had a geek side.

Actually...

Oh, don´t you start.

~*~

I was doing my homework the other night (last minute is still in time) and Granger kept helping me. She sat beside me, and then kept budging up until she was practically sitting on my chair. She put a hand on my arm, and fluttered her lashes as she explained something in a really breathy voice. Wonder if she´s okay.

~*~

Term´s started again.

I hate it all, but the Gryffindorks have reacted rather well to me. Finnigan was the only one who wasn´t too happy, but then I did play some rather nasty tricks on him in our preparatory school. Advanced Potions is painful, so are all the other advanced subjects I´m doing, but it doesn´t matter. There´s only a little while left before I get to go and get a job! Wheee! What FUN!

I hate my life.

~*~

Granger at next to me in Potions, so now I´m sitting with her for the whole term. She keeps laughing really loud at all my jokes, and accidentally putting her hand on my arm. She seems to be slightly lopsided, as she´s always leaning towards me. Maybe she´s not feeling very well. Flu, or something.

~*~

I think Granger might fancy me.

This is the third lesson in which she´s accidentally sat with me. I don´t know, but I think Bucko likes me. Ugh.

Ginny, Potter, and Granger. If Weasel crosses that fine line, he WILL NOT live to turn back.

At least Granger isn´t as bad as she used to be. Her hair still looks like a mangled Fuzz ball, but she isn´t actually Goofy or Bucky anymore. Don´t tell me, I´ll be really upset. It´s my favourite name for her, and I don´t want to be deprived of it, so just keep it to yourselves. Don´t say anything when I´m around. I love Ginny, though, and I don´t know what to do. I´m not gay, so Potter is out of the question. Weasel isn´t gay, so he is, too. Granger, well, I don´t know. I´m with Ginny, and I like her, but shouldn´t I make the most of any opportunity that comes my way? But Granger is as common as muck... oh... why me? I have to choose between being a seventeen year old male, and being a snob. I don´t think anyone else has it as tough as me.

Ohh!

~*~

Too late now.

Granger made the first move. Well, the first several, and I had nothing to do with it. I just sat there, pretty much.

She was confiding in me about everything, then suddenly, she grabbed me around the neck, stuck her tongue in my mouth and her hand down my pants.

What could I do?

I´d like you to answer me that if you can.

I just did what any boy would do and kissed her back. It´s not my fault. Boys are here for reproduction alone, and so what if that means that we have no control over ourselves? Girls are clever, to bring up the babies. Boys are strong and sex-crazed, to give them the babies in the first place.

Oops. I didn´t just give a hint about sex, did I? I didn´t mean to. There was nothing intended... no! I mean, I didn´t mean to drop that hint, or my pants, not that I did, I was just saying, we didn´t have sex! How dare you suggest such a thing!

Go away.

I didn´t.

Stop looking at me like that.

~*~

I can´t look at Ginny.

Now I´ve seen a girl properly naked in front of me I just picture her with no clothes on. It kind of distracts me from my work.

Do you think I should tell her?

I don´t know if I can. I´ll just forget it. It´s not like it meant anything. Yeah, that´s what I´ll do.

Isn´t it great being blessed with a lenient conscience?

~*~

Granger appears to have been satisfied, if briefly.

She leaves me alone now, pretty much. That little... Ahem... business seemed to satiate her hunger, for the time being. I think that if I do you-know-what with Ginny twice, I´ll be even, and therefore have no reason to feel guilty. I don´t, but I could. And that´s the point. Right?

If you aren´t following, we can have a little chat after the lesson to straighten things out a bit, okay?

~*~

I went to see father today.

He told me some things I didn´t really want to hear. He says that the Dark Lord is coming for me. I was made to be one of them, and he will make me.

But I don´t want to.

Look what father became. I don´t want that to happen to me. It´s too much.

I told Ginny earlier, and she looked horrified. Not nearly as bad as I feel, I can tell you. Blood, or love? I can´t choose between what I was born to be and what I am. I have to leave that to those who made me what I am. That´s why I told Ginny. She went to tell Potter, who agreed to come with me when I have to go.

I don´t want him to come. Not just because I hate him, as if that isn´t good enough. I don´t want anyone getting hurt because of me. Again. He says he´s going to kill Voldemort. I don´t think he can.

I have to go tomorrow. I promise I´ll write down everything.

~*~

Well, that blows.

Voldemort wasn´t all that scary. He got a little bit psycho and started proclaiming all this shit when he saw Potter. Personally, I can´t see what´s so special about the kid. If I wanted to kill him, I would run him through with a carving knife. I don´t see the problem. Wizards today, uh! So lazy. Can´t be bothered to do things the old fashioned way. Just cos it costs them a little more effort...

~*~

Ginny was very relieved when I said no. I got in a teensy bit of trouble, it seems `no´ is not an answer. That´s why I said no and Disapparated as fast as I possibly could. I don´t think they care too much. I mean, it´s not like that´s why he killed the Potters. Right?

Or is it?

~*~

I´m starting to think that maybe it was a mistake. I keep getting these odd letters with curses in. Lost two Gryffindorks already to killing spells in envelopes. Ginny´s coming to my house for New Year. Fun, fun!

~*~

Daddy´s coming home for New Year kids!

Yay!

We´re back at my house. Mum insisted on dressing Ginny, and doing her make up, and hair. So basically, I´ve been alone for three days now. Dad´s coming home tomorrow (New Year´s Eve) for supper. We´re going to chain him to a post in the garden.

Good thing is, Ginny and mum seem to be getting on all right. I hoped they would. They´re both lovely (when they want something).

~*~

How ashamed I am today.

1. I have a horrible hangover
2. I think I had sex with Ginny, but I can´t remember. That´s what´s bad
3. Mother fell asleep across the table, then woke and puked on Ginny
4. Dad kept looking at Ginny oddly, and asking if she was in league with the Carrot Brigade

So you see, taking that entire bottle of aspirin was completely warranted.

~*~

Love Ginny, hate father, hate mother, hate self. Very much like pretty colours dancing on eyelids. Also like nice mushrooms growing in the garden. Mucho nico fungo.

~*~

And now I realise I am stoned, too. All in two days.

~*~

Now I only have to have sex with Ginny one more time to cancel out Hermione. After that, I´m sure I´ll find another excuse. I´m a boy. There´s always an excuse.

~*~

Gone back to school. Quidditch match soon. Training mucho-hardo. Against Slytherin. I´m a Chaser now, cos Potter is the Seeker. Arse.

~*~

I was very proud of myself today, as when I saw Potter and pals, I went:

Hey, look! It´s Pisspot, Potty, and Potter!

Yes, I think I´m a genius.

~*~

We´re going to play in ten minutes. I look horrid in red. I wish I could wear green. Sniff.

~*~

Ha! We beat them suckers! I scored four goals out of five! Yoink! Pow! Wappa! Zaboosh! Whee!

Sorry.

~*~

Snape seemed to be particularly vindictive today. Maybe it´s cos he lost the cup!!!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

~*~

I realise I´m being a little obsessive, but I´ve been a baddie all my life, and baddies never win. You can´t. There was that one time in first year when we won, then Potter gallivanted off to break all the school rules and defeat Voldemort. Big whoop. I don´t think that´s fair at all. Weasley got fifty points for playing chess. I play chess, and I don´t get points. I also play poker, blackjack, hearts, and rummy, but no one gives me points.

Bet you all read Potter´s tales cheering your heads off when I lost, think how you´d feel. You´d spent all the year being a snot, being good at Quidditch, getting good marks, then Potty comes along, breaks all the rules, nearly dies, nearly kills all his friends, nearly gives a valuable object to the King Of Hell, and wins loads of points for doing so.

Just think about that, if you will.

~*~

It´s nearly Easter now. I haven´t written for a while, I know, but I have been busy. We had Mid-year exams. I don´t recall having those before. We´ve got our NEWTs at the end of this year. It´s not fair to make us do two lots. I guess it´s too late to object now, but I´m back.

The score is now officially miles over even. Ginny is leaps and bounds (literally) ahead of Hermione now. I was running out of reasons to have sex, so I decided to shag Granger again. Worked like a bloody charm. I am da man.

~*~

They school´s started up a compulsory music course for deranged pupils. That confused me. Somehow, my name´s on the list too. Hmmm...

It´ll begin tomorrow. I am NOT looking forward to it. It will be very dull, as I can´t play a single note. Middle C schmiddle C. I don´t want to do it. I´m not deranged! Not!

Not like my father. Now that´s mad. You don´t know the meaning of the word mad until you´ve met my father. Huh. Me? Mad? Huh.

~*~

Well, my life is truly over.

`SPECIAL NEEDS MUSIC GROUP PERFORMS SONGS FROM `GREASE´ TUESDAY EVENING´.

Shit.

~*~

Welcome to the world of playing the blond guy.

I have now sung in front of a selection of dickheads including Creevey, Midgen, and Goyle.

Of course I can sing. I just don´t want to. I have to do the `ooh ooh ooh´ bit. Sweet mother-fucking death, come claim me now, before it´s too late.

~*~

I´m going to die. It´s the only option open to me now. The performance is not optional. The astronomy tower should be just about high enough to plunge to my death successfully. Yes. That´s what I´ll do.

~*~

What, do you expect me to admit that I´m nervous? Thick, that´s what you are.

~*~

I love Ginny. She is absolutely fabulous. It´s Tuesday evening, and I´m not at the performance! I can hear all the people going to the hall underneath us, I can see a couple of them, but they can´t see me.

Ginny thwarted my attempts at suicide by finding my note. Maybe I shouldn´t leave notes any more. It makes it too easy. I should leave them where I actually commit the dirty deed. I told her why I was scared, and she hugged me and told me it was all okay. Then she got her twin brothers to tell her a hiding place for me. I´m now sitting in one of the carvings at the top of the pillars in the great hall, broomstick by my side. I´m too high up to be seen.

Good thing I´m not scared of heights, hey?

Oh wait, I am.

AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHH!!! GET ME DOWN!!!

~*~

I can´t get down. I would have to move to the other side of the niche to get my broom, so I´m just going to have to stay here. I´ve been here all night already. It´s quite cold, and I was woken up by the bloody sunlight at five in the morning.

I hope someone misses me soon. I´m very, very afraid.

~*~

I´m resigned to living the rest of my life up here. I´m quite hungry, actually. Wonder if anyone´s got any food?

Oh wait, I´m all alone.

Oh joy of joys! Ginny´s down there calling my name!

`I´m up here, my love!´

`Stupid sod! Why are you still there?´

`I´m scared of heights.´

`You were fine at first. Why didn´t you tell me?´

`I forgot.´

Apologies

XXX

~Draco~