Jealousy

Dean’s great, really he is. He’s good, kind and courteous, caring and creative. Really, he’s everything thing a girl could want. And the first time he had to deal with Ron doing his whole "you’ll take care of my sister or I’ll take care of you thing" he was perfect, just perfect. He told me about it later...

***

"

Thomas! I want a word with you."

He turned around slowly, confused. "Hey Ron, what’s up?"

"You’re dating Ginny."

Clearly that hadn’t been a question, but Dean arched an eyebrow and said, "Well, since you ask, yes, I am. How'd the holiday go for you?"

"Don’t try to change the subject Thomas, I want to hear about you and my sister."

"Well, that’s pretty pervy of you, isn’t it?" Seamus spoke up from Dean’s side, and Ron’s eyes widened in what looked suspiciously like rage.

Before he could say anything, though, Dean spoke up. "Quiet you," he said to Seamus. "Don’t listen to him Ron, he just wants to rile you." Or possibly to get me in trouble... "But really, what do you want to hear? Cause Ginny’s a big girl. She can take care of herself."

"You’re dating my little sister Thomas."

"Yes, we’ve covered that."

"If you hurt her..." Ron trailed off, clearly attempting to be menacing, but rather failing as it seemed more like he didn’t know what he’d do than that he was implying something.

"As threats go that was pretty lame."

"I said quiet Seamus. Look Ron, I’m not going to hurt Gin. She’s a sweet girl and when she asked me out last year I..."

"She asked you out?"

"What? Seamus, yes, she did, but seriously, let me talk to Ron."

Seamus was staring at him strangely but didn’t seem about to say anything else, which Dean was grateful for. "Ron, I swear, I’m not going to hurt Gin, but you’ve got to tone down the whole overprotective brother thing. Seriously, I don’t think I can take it."

"Good. You ought to be wary Thomas, cause I’ll be watching you."

Ron scowled one last time but seemed to feel the discussion was over as he turned and headed down the hall, ignoring Seamus’ called "Since when do you call your dorm mates by their last names, Weasley?"

With a sigh, Dean bapped Seamus upside the head and told him, "Cut it out. Ron’s going to be on edge for awhile. We were pretty much expecting it."

"We being you and Ginny?"

"Yeah."

"Huh." The two boys turned and continued on their way to the library, Seamus looking lost in thought. "So," he finally spoke again, "Ginny asked you out, right?"

"Yeah, she did. Near the end of last year."

"And you accepted, clearly." Seamus paused, considering something. "Look, don’t take this the wrong way, but if she hadn’t asked, would you have asked her out?"

Dean glanced down at his best friend, his eyebrows furrowed, wondering to himself what Seamus was getting at, and what taking it ‘the wrong way’ would entail. "Well, probably not, no. I wasn’t really thinking about girls much, too busy with classes and everything. Just as well she asked then, isn’t it." Dean grinned.

Seamus’ answering smile wasn’t very bright, but it was there. "Yeah, just as well."

***

One of the amazing things about Dean is his art. He’s so enthusiastic, and so talented. I love watching him sketch, watching lines on paper take shape and form, becoming people, flowers, whatever he’s looking at. And being drawn by him is intense. He’s got such focus, and yet it’s as though he doesn’t really see you at all.

***

"Hey Dean," Seamus had come up behind Dean quietly so as not to disturb him, but when he finally spoke it didn’t startle the black boy. He always expected Seamus to show up or come by, no matter where he was, so he was never startled when the other boy did, only when he didn’t. "The picture’s looking good."

Dean paused, considering it with a critical eye and then looking over at where Ginny was sitting. "I don’t know, there’s something off balance about it."

"Really?" Ginny spoke up, carefully not moving her head so as not to be yelled at again.

"Yeah. I think maybe sketching you by the fireplace was a bad choice. I may just scrap it."

"No, don’t do that," Seamus objected. "It’s coming along well. Where would something need to be to balance the picture? And what would it have to be?"

Dean sighed, scowling at his notebook. "Oh, I don’t know. It’d have to be pretty big. I don’t think I like how it’s coming out anyways..." He moved his hand towards the top of the page, preparing to rip it out of the notebook, but Seamus stopped him.

"No, seriously. What if there was something here?" He gestured on the page. "A lamp or something."

"I don’t know, maybe..."

"Here." Seamus took a few steps, moving to the area he’d pointed to on the page. "A lamp, or another chair, maybe facing away from Ginny..." And Seamus turned to look back at Dean, see what he thought.

But Dean was staring at him. "There, don’t move Seamus, that’s perfect."

Seamus froze, well used to his artist friend’s strange demands, but he and Ginny shared a smile as Dean began to sketch feverishly again, having finally found a way to change the picture into something he liked.

***

Plus hanging out with Dean is a lot of fun, and Seamus is almost always there. The two of them are a great pair, kind of like Fred and George. They’re always plotting something, even if it’s something small, and they counterpoint each other very well.

***

"Hey guys," Ginny had made her way across the Common Room and dropped onto the couch next to Dean. "What are you up to?"

"Not much," Dean said.

"Not yet," Seamus added with a grin. "Haven’t gotten far enough to be up to anything."

"Oh really? Do tell."

"You saw what Malfoy did at the last Quidditch match, right?"

"Course. Front row center, practically. The reserves get great seats right up front. But what are you going to do? If you get caught..."

"Don’t worry," Dean reassured her. "Ron might be rash enough to do something that’d be traced back to him..."

"Hell, Ron’d do it when everybody could see," Seamus interrupted. "You’re brother has no sense of subtlety."

"Yeah, but we’re cleverer than that, don’t worry."

The two boys offered Ginny matching grins, and the redhead couldn’t help but laugh in delight and settle in to listen to their plans.

***

Of course, it’s sometimes frustrating. All new relationships have their issues, I know that though, so it’s ok...

But Seamus is always there, even when he’s not.

***

Dean was absorbed in something he was working on, lying stretched out on his bed with Seamus sitting on the floor leaning against the foot of the bed. He didn’t even notice when Ginny came in, didn’t see the odd look she shot Seamus, didn’t hear Seamus mutter, "excuse me," and scramble to his feet and out of the room.

It was almost four minutes before Dean even looked up. "Hey Seamus, what..." Now that he was looking he saw that his friend was missing and his girlfriend had taken Seamus’ seat. "Where’s Seamus?"

"Hello to you, too." Ginny sounded a little funny. "Seamus went out."

"Uh, hi Ginny. Did he say when he’d be back, cause I kind of have a question."

"No, he didn’t. Anything I can help with?" Ginny’s smile seemed sweet, almost tender, and it won an answering smile, although Dean still seemed a little confused.

"No, probably not. I needed to ask him about something from Potions."

"Well, I might be able to help. I’m pretty good at Potions."

"Really? I didn’t know that." Dean shrugged, then hesitantly handed over his notes to Ginny.

"I guess there’s a lot of things we don’t know about each other," Ginny said mildly. "But then, I didn’t know Seamus liked Potions."

"Oh, he doesn’t, but he wants to be a mediwizard after school so he says he needs to know it anyways. He’s second best in our year in Gryffindor, and only Malfoy and Terry Boot are better at him outside of the house."

"Really? That’s impressive."

"Yeah. I know he doesn’t seem like he cares that much about school, but he really does."

Ginny just smiled, then turned to look at the page Dean had handed her, attempting to dismiss Seamus from the conversation. "No wonder you don’t do well in class. How can you read your notes through all these doodles?"

"Well... usually I manage ok, and when I don’t Seamus lets me borrow his. After all, it’s usually his fault. He likes the doodles so he tends to egg me on..." Dean trailed off, shrugging.

Scowling, Ginny said, "Well, here’s where you went off," and pointed at the page. "This bit about foxglove, you must have just copied it wrong. "

"Oh, thanks Gin."

***

And the thing is, it's not like Dean gets it. He doesn’t understand why I get tense every time his best friend comes up in conversation, or shows up on one of our dates. Dean always blows it off as though it doesn't mean anything. "Calm down Gin, it's just Seamus. We were at Zonko's and I invited Seamus to come along."

That's the other thing. I can't even hate Seamus for this one, because he gets it. He understands why I'm so touchy and it's Dean who drags him along everywhere; Dean who always expects Seamus to be around; Dean who's completely oblivious. And it’s not like Seamus is doing it on purpose.

***

"Hey Dean."

"Oh, hi Seamus." Dean looks up at the Irish boy who’s just settled onto the foot of Dean’s bed.

"What are you up to this afternoon?" There’s a half second pause, almost enough time for Dean to answer, but not really. "’Cause I was thinking we could hang out by the lake, maybe get a picnic and avoid the crowd in the Great Hall."

A worried look crosses Dean’s face. "Something up?"

"Not really. I just don’t fell like dealing with everyone. Have more than gotten my fill of Hermione’s hounding and Ron’s bickering."

"Yeah, sure, I’d love to. Gin and I had plans to hang out, but it won’t be a problem."

"Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to put Ginny out. I mean, girl friend should win out over best friend, right?" There was something funny in Seamus’ smile, something not quiet sincere, but Dean put it down to stress.

"Nah, she won’t mind. I could invite her along though. You wouldn’t mind the company."

"Of course not. I love hanging out with you and Ginny. Watching the two of you together is so... sweet."

Dean sighed. "I wouldn’t really call us sweet, not any more."

"Having troubles?" His head cocked to the side, a concerned look in his eyes. Seamus Finnigan, the perfect picture of innocent concern.

"I don’t know. She’s been being really touchy lately. Maybe she just needs to get out of the castle too."

"Well, by all means, invite her along. I never mind when she comes to hang out with us." A little laugh, and Seamus continues. "I mean, it’s not like I’ve got prior claim on you."

Dean grins at Seamus and promises to ask.

***

Sometimes though... sometimes I see Seamus watching me... watching me with Dean or just me on my own, and I never know what he’s thinking. It’s a dark look, kind of worrisome, but it’s so unfocused I never know...

***

"Seamus?"

The blonde blinks. "Yes Ginny?"

"You were staring."

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking and didn’t even realize what I was looking at." His smile is so open, so sweet. So very different from the look of half a second ago.

"Is something wrong Seamus? You seem... tense, worried."

"Nah, I’m fine. But how are you? Things didn’t seem to be going real well last I saw you... at the picnic."

Her lips thin and her gaze sharpens. Anyone could see her considering, weighing what he’s said and done, trying to come up with a definite answer one way or the other. Doubt has entered her heart and mind, but she doesn’t know what to do. "Well," she says finally, "it was just a stressful time for me, that’s all."

"I’m sorry to hear that Ginny. If you ever need to talk I’m always around."

Seamus can look so innocent and caring, it’s hard not to want to talk to him. Sometimes it seems he knows it and uses it to his advantage, but how can anyone suspect those pretty blue eyes?

It seems Ginny can’t. "Thanks Seamus. You’re a good guy, a good friend. I may take you up on that someday."

Neither of them are aware of Dean watching them, his eyes narrowed, locked onto Seamus’ face. Ginny smiles then stands up, making her excuses before hurrying out of the Common Room. Seamus’ eyes remains locked on Ginny as she leaves, his gaze inscrutable. Dean watches Seamus watching Ginny. Something is wrong. Something is out of balance. Something is bound to happen.

***

I don’t know what’s happening anymore. I never get Dean to myself, but I can’t talk to him about it. He doesn’t know what I mean when I say that something’s funny, something’s wrong. Or at least he says he doesn’t. I don’t know what to do, but I keep feeling like something is bound to happen, something is going to change.

I just don’t know what.

***

"Seamus, what’s going on?"

"Hi Dean." The blonde doesn’t even start when Dean speaks behind him, although he’d given no outward sign he knew Dean was there. But then, Dean is never surprised when Seamus shows up, why should Seamus be surprised when Dean does.

"Hello," Dean says, coming around from behind Seamus’ chair and sitting down on the table in front of the Irish boy. "What’s going on?"

"Nothing, just doing my homework." Seamus’ tone is mild. So many things about him seem to be described as mild these days. It’s confusing because Seamus is the energetic one, the one with the plans. He never just sits back and watches things.

"That’s not what I meant Seamus. What’s going on with you. You seem... different. Distracted. I keep catching you just staring at nothing." Or at someone. "It’s almost like you’re brooding."

A little smile — mild, unenthusiastic — slips across Seamus face, but his eyes don’t shine the way they normally do. "Come on, I never brood. Brooding’s not in my nature."

Dean pauses, not sure he’s ready to break out the big guns, to ask the important questions. Why do you keep staring at my girlfriend? Why are you never happy to see me anymore? When did we stop talking about things that really matter? "I know it’s not Seamus. That’s why it’s so weird."

"Well, I agree that, given my natural lack of brooding capabilities, if I were to brood it would be weird. But since I’m not brooding it’s not weird."

Seamus’ lack of energy, lack of passion, his continued mildness, was starting to make Dean angry. "Damn it Seamus, what the hell. Something is clearly wrong, so why won’t you talk to me?"

A little shrug and Seamus glanced down at his book again. "Nothing is wrong."

"Liar," Dean simply whispered, not really knowing how Seamus would react.

"No, I’m not." A quiet statement, but his head had come back up, his eyes met Dean’s once more, and now there was definitely something in them, some sparkle of life.

"I’ve seen you," Dean went on quietly, holding Seamus’ gaze. "I’ve watched you... I’ve watched you watching her."

Another flash in Seamus’ eyes, a slightly less mild response. "Watching who?"

Quietly, Dean just said, "You know who."

"Nope, no idea." Now his look was anything but mild — it was challenging. Say it, he seemed to command. Start this and let’s just get it over with.

"

Ginny."

"Why would I be watching Ginny?"

"You tell me."

"How can I tell you, when I didn’t even know I was doing it." Their voices remained quiet, there was nothing about the confrontation to let anyone else in the room think there was anything wrong, but the two boys’ eyes flashed and narrowed as it went on.

"You have been doing it. You were doing it last night after she talked to you. You watched her leave the Common Room, you were just staring at her."

"You were watching her?"

"I was watching you."

And a third element entered the conversation, a small intake of breath from off to the side and Dean spun around, startled to see Ginny who was staring at him. Seamus didn’t move.

Slowly Ginny came forward, settled herself in a chair. "So, it’s finally started?" she asked, and finally Seamus turned to look at her.

"Apparently," he said.

"What do you mean?" Dean looked confused, glancing back and forth between the two of them.

"I mean, I finally figured it out, and now it’s your turn, Dean. I know what’s been going on this whole time. I know what you’ve been doing Seamus."

Oddly, the blonde continued to have no real reaction, just sort of gazing at the girl, looking mildly curious. "And?" he asked.

Before Ginny could respond — if she even would — Dean interrupted. "Tell me what you’re talking about. Tell me what’s going on." He looked first to Seamus, who was still gazing at Ginny, then to Ginny. "Tell me."

"Seamus has been doing everything he can to get me to be unhappy in this relationship. He wants me to break up with you."

"What? Why?" Again, Dean looked first to Seamus, who’s mild gaze remained locked on Ginny.

"Because he’s jealous," Ginny answered, while Dean watched the blonde boy.

Seamus had no reaction, so Dean leaned forward, touched him on the knee. At that Seamus looked back at him, his eyes so forcibly mild Dean thought he might scream.

"You’re jealous?" No reaction. "Is this true, Seamus?"

"Yes." No other reaction. No flash in his eyes, no raising of voices. Merely a mild ‘yes’.

"You’re jealous?" Dean couldn’t believe it, needed to hear it again. His best friend was trying to ruin his relationship...

"Yes."

"Of me?"

And finally Seamus’ control cracked, almost broke to pieces. There was something shining out of his eyes, something Dean swore he recognized, but didn’t understand. However, the Irish boy said nothing, just gazed mutely at Dean. Instead it was Ginny who answered.

"No. Of me."