The Aftermath

"Damn it, Finnigan! How could you?" Ron Weasley was practically screaming at his roommate. "My sister! You’re a bastard, do you know that! How could you do this to Dean? He doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. You fuck around with everyone, but now you’ve gone too far!"

Ron was livid, Seamus could tell. Not that he didn’t have a right to be. Honestly, how could he have been so stupid? Flirting was one thing, but why on earth had he done that to Ginny?

"You little creep! Are you just going to stand there?" Ron was starting to turn purple in his anger. "My little sister, and you’re messing around with her. As if what Colin did to her wasn’t enough, now you have to be fucking around with her head."

"Ron, it wasn’t like that . . ." Seamus started.

"I don’t want to hear it Finnigan!" Ron roared. "Get out of here." The two boys were standing in the middle of their dorm room, fighting. "Get out of here now."

"Look Ron, you can’t tell me to get out of my own room." Now Seamus was getting annoyed. If Ron wasn’t even going to listen to what he had to say why should he listed to Ron.

"Finnigan, get out of my sight before I do something you’re going to regret." Ron’s voice held a lot of threat and a hint of violence and Seamus realized that if he didn’t leave he was going to have to deal with 6+ feet of angry Weasley. It wouldn’t be fun.

"Right. You know, Ron, you can be pretty much an idiot at times," Seamus said. "You’ve got no idea what really happened, you’re just mad because being mad is the only way you know how to deal with people." And with that the Irish boy turned on his heel and left his roommate to calm down.

Coming to the bottom of the stairs Seamus was seized by the urge to just run out of the Gryffindor dormitory, but he knew that that was not the way to get out of trouble. The people in the common room were his friends, and if they were going to be upset with him, well, he was going to have to deal with it. He squared his shoulders and stepped out into the main area.

Some of the students looked up at his entrance and then went back to what they were doing, but over near the fire he saw his other roommate, Harry Potter, and his girlfriend, Hermione Granger, look up at him then start to whisper between them. Hermione looked furious, although Seamus couldn’t tell if she was madder at him or at Harry for keeping her from coming over and hitting him.

Seamus decided he really didn’t want to deal with them just now and headed out through the portrait hole. He made it part way down the hall before he heard someone hurrying to catch up with him.

"Seamus!" Harry called out, and Seamus turned to wait for him.

"Look Harry, if you’re going to yell at me, don’t bother. Ron’s already taken his portion of flesh, and probably would have taken yours as well if I’d stuck around to let him." Seamus’ voice was uncharacteristically bitter.

"Seamus, why did you do it?" Harry asked.

"Do what, kiss Ginny?" Seamus gave a little sigh. "It was . . . it wasn’t . . . it didn’t mean anything."

"Oh, I’m sure of that," Harry replied, sounding upset. "But what I meant was . . . well look, Seamus, we’re all pretty used to you, your flirting and so on. But gods, if you’re going to be messing around with people could you at least do it when Dean’s not around. He doesn’t deserve to be treated this way."

"Harry, I didn’t mean to do it. And I really didn’t mean for Dean to walk in on us."

"Yeah, but what you did or did not mean doesn’t really matter a whole lot compared to what actually happened."

"Nothing happened!" Seamus exploded. "I kissed her, that’s all! She was upset, she needed cheering up. Colin’s a bastard and she deserves better than that."

"Colin cheated on her and now you’ve cheated on Dean, I can’t really see how this is better," Harry’s rejoinder cut Seamus to the quick.

"I haven’t cheated on Dean, damn it!" Seamus shouted, looking like he was going to cry.

"Yeah well, that’s not . . ." Harry began, but Seamus cut him off.

"Just back off Harry!" he yelled. "Just leave me alone. I really don’t need every bloody person in the tower telling me what a prat I’ve been. I can figure that one out perfectly well for myself." And Seamus turned and ran down the hallway, leaving his roommate staring after him.

***

As he ran Seamus could think of only one thing. He needed to find Dean. The look in Dean’s eyes as he turned and left the tower, leaving Harry, Ron, and Hermione staring in at Seamus and Ginny, haunted Seamus. He needed to find Dean and talk to him. He couldn’t lose Dean, not over this. He cursed his own stupidity, and timing, but most of all he cursed his nature. His nature which couldn’t let poor Ginny sit there, convinced she was a horrible person, which couldn’t help but try and be the life of the party, which always needed convincing that everyone loved him and sought proof by flirting with everyone in the room. Of course Dean deserved better than that. Of course Ginny was worth more than anything he could give her.

Seamus was practically in tears when he ran into the youngest Weasley in the halls.

"Seamus?" she asked. "Seamus, what’s wrong?"

"Ginny, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done what I did to you."

"What do you mean? Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything to me, with me maybe, but . . ." her voice died off at the look of Seamus’ face. "Here, come here." She wrapped her arms around the older boy and gave him a hug. "You’ve got nothing to be sorry for Seamus. You didn’t do anything."

"Yes I did. I’m a horrible flirt and I shouldn’t be leading you on."

"Hmph," Ginny snorted. "Oh come off it Seamus. I know you love Dean. How is it leading me on if we’re both aware the kiss meant nothing." Taking another look at her friend’s face she frowned. "My brother’s been after you, hasn’t he? Look, Ron’s and idiot and doesn’t have any right to tell you or me what to do."

"No, but Dean does," Seamus’ voice was quiet.

"Oh no, you’ve already talked to Dean? What did he say?" Ginny looked worried, especially since the look on Seamus’ face seemed to foretell the end of the world, or at least the end of his world.

"No, I haven’t seen him since he . . . since he . . ." Seamus’ voice died off.

"Since he walked in on us kissing." Ginny finished for him.

"Yeah."

Ginny gave a little sigh. "Who’d have thought the aftermath of one little kiss would be so big. Look, I’ll go talk to my brother, calm him down, you go find Dean. You can’t know what he thinks until you talk to him." The two of them were almost of a height, but Ginny stood up on her tiptoes and pulled his head down to place a light kiss on Seamus’ forehead. "Don’t worry too much, things will be ok."

"I hope you’re right Gin," Seamus said, then turned to head back down the corridor.

"Um, Seamus," Ginny’s call stopped him. "I think I saw Dean in the library a while ago. He was . . . um, he was with Justin Finch-Fletchley."

"Damn," was the only thing Seamus could reply to that before hurrying off to find his boyfriend.

***

By the time Seamus made it to the library he had worked himself pretty far back into the funk Ginny had talked him out of. He’d almost convinced himself the best thing he could do for Dean was to drop out of school or toss himself off the top of the astronomy tower when he spotted Justin sitting alone at a table in the corner. At the sight of the only boy he considered a rival for Dean’s attention Seamus’ extreme self-deprecation dried up. He certainly wasn’t going to leave Dean alone to be comforted by Justin Finch-Fletchley.

As Seamus walked over to Justin’s table the other boy looked up. "Where’s Dean?" Seamus’ voice was quiet, but hard and demanding.

"Why should I tell you after what you did?" Justin scowled at Seamus. "Honestly, you don’t deserve him."

"I need to talk to him," Seamus said. "Just tell me where he is."

"Why? So you can break up with him for that little tart? Why should I let you hurt him anymore?" Justin seemed almost glad for the chance to have one up on his Irish rival.

"Ginny Weasley is not a tart," Seamus began, then realized he was being distracted. "Look Justin, I know you like Dean, but I love him. I love him so much the thought of losing him, of hurting him . . . I can’t take it. It’s tearing me up, and now you won’t even tell me where he is. Please Justin. I need to talk to him."

"Fine, fine Seamus," Justin gave a sigh. "I give. He said that if you came looking for him to tell you he’d be in your room."

"Thanks," Seamus turned to run off again but Justin’s voice held him up.

"If you hurt him, Seamus. If you break his heart . . ."

"You’ll do what?" Seamus turned back to the other boy.

"You’re a bastard and you don’t deserve him. You take him for granted."

"No. I’ll agree that I’m a bastard, and that I don’t deserve him. But I never take him for granted. It’s a miracle that he thinks I’m worth any of his time, let alone his love, and I know that. I could never take that for granted." And without another word Seamus turned and hurried out of the library.

***

As Seamus rounded another corner of the castle he thought about what Justin had said. He knew Dean wouldn’t have gone back to the dorm, and even if he had, running into Ron in a high snit would probably have chased him right back out. So he must have meant the little classroom the two of them had found a few years ago. No one ever used the room, so they had claimed it for themselves and would go there to hide out from the rest of the world. It was a great room for Dean to sketch in since it was on the outside wall of the castle and had large windows, and Seamus knew that Dean loved the chance to get Seamus’ attention all to himself. What he couldn’t figure out was why Dean would be there now.

If he was mad at Seamus maybe he thought it would be a neutral space to argue in. Or maybe at the end of the day he wasn’t going to want to go back there again and it wouldn’t matter what happened.

These thoughts running through his head, Seamus finally reached the door of the classroom. He stood outside for a few seconds, then once again he squared his shoulders and prepared to face what he had coming to him. He opened the door and looked in. There he saw Dean, sitting in the chair at the front of the room, his feet on the desk of whatever teacher had once used this room. He had his sketchbook out on his lap, and had apparently been working quite hard because when he glanced up he had the glassy eyed look he got after creating worlds out of ink and paper.

"Dean . . ." Seamus started, then trailed off.

"Seamus," Dean replied in a neutral voice. He put his pen down on the table, but didn’t get up from the chair.

"Dean, I’m sorry." Seamus set his jaw and tried to look resolute, but the fear in his stomach that he might lose Dean was eating at him.

"Don’t," Dean’s voice was very quiet.

"No, Dean. Please," the fear was almost overwhelming him, but Seamus had to make Dean understand. "I love you. I will always love you and only you. Ginny means nothing to me. She knows it. She knew it then. It didn’t mean anything to either of us."

"Seamus . . ." Dean started, but Seamus rushed on.

"Please Dean, she needed cheering up after Colin dumped her. I just wanted to help, but I never want to lose you. Please Dean . . . please." Seamus’ voice trailed off and he looked down at the ground. He didn’t want to see the anger and recrimination he imagined in Dean’s eyes.

"Seamus, I understand. I know how much you care about me, just as much as I care about you."

Staring at the ground Seamus heard the little pause in his best friend and lover’s voice. "But?" he asked, just wanting to know what was going to happen.

"But nothing. I love you and you love me."

There was a note of finality to Dean’s tone, but Seamus didn’t believe that that could be the end of it. "And I kissed Ginny," he concluded for Dean.

"So what? Seamus, you’re the world’s most affectionate creature and no one could hold all of your attention. I know that. It’d kill us both if I ever asked you not to flirt and play around. It’s in your nature. But if I asked you’d try. You’d cut part of yourself off and hide it away, and it would hurt me to see that." Seamus looked up to see that Dean had gotten out of his chair, dropping his sketchbook on the ground and was standing in front of him. "The Seamus I love is lively, and joyful, and playful. I know that, I wouldn’t want it any other way. Because the Seamus I love loves only me and that’s what makes everything worth it."

And Dean lifted his hand and rested it on Seamus’ cheek. Seamus looked into his friend’s eyes and couldn’t think of a thing to say, then Dean leaned forward and pressed a sweet, chaste kiss to the other boy’s lips and the need to say anything at all died away.

When Dean stepped back he smiled at Seamus, but Seamus was still clearly upset. He looked away from Dean’s bright eyes and his glance fell on the fallen sketchbook. There, laid out in ink was Ginny Weasley, looking sweet, innocent and happy. It was the look that had been on her face in the common room seconds before she looked up and saw Dean watching them.

Dean had chosen to remember that look, to remember how Seamus had helped Ginny and not how he had hurt him. Seamus looked up into Dean’s beautiful dark eyes. "I love you Dean," he said.

"I know," was all Dean answered before stepping forward and claiming Seamus’ lips again.