Christmas Wishes

Christmas Wishes

"Merry bloody Christmas to me..."

"Snape?" Remus closed the massive door of the kitchens behind him. The giant room was brightly lit and bustling as usual, but the normally chipper houselves looked rather uncomfortable. This was undoubtedly due to the presence of an exceptionally drunk Severus Snape seated at a counter in the center of the kitchen, nursing a bottle of Ogden's finest.

"Look who it is. Loo-pin," Severus mumbled, shaking his bottle in Remus' direction. "Come to turn me in?"

Remus ignored the urgent complaints of the elves around him and walked to the edge of the counter, reaching for the bottle.

"I think not, this is my Chrisssmaass present," Severus muttered. "A gift from the ol' man."

Remus caught Severus' hand and removed the half-empty bottle with ease, prying apart his fingers with werewolf strength.

"Don't tell me it's almost a full moon." Severus let out a dry laugh.

"I'm always this strong Snape; I just don't make a point of showing it off. The only perk of being what I am. Now, come on, you'd better get out of here, you're freaking out the elves." Remus tucked the bottle into his robes, the pockets magically adjusted to hold any object, no matter the size. He motioned for the door.

"Screw the elves, I like it down here. Don't you have fireplaces to clean?" Snape shouted at the tittering creatures.

Remus sighed. All he'd wanted was a midnight snack to last him until the Christmas brunch the next morning. "Why don't you guys leave us alone for awhile? I'll deal with him."

The elves were quick to obey the orders of a prefect, and scurried from the room.

"And now we're alone," Severus remarked.

Remus didn't like the look in his eye. "Look, Snape, let's just get out of here."

"Not going to get me in trouble?" Severus lurched off his stool and stumbled towards Remus.

"We both know I can't do that," Remus replied.

"Afraid I'll tell everyone your secret?" Severus leaned close to Remus, stinking of liquor.

"You can't tell that I'm a werewolf, Dumbledore swore you to secrecy," Remus said.

"Not that secret." Severus grinned maliciously. "What do you think they would say if they knew? Would Black still be your friend if he knew you were a queer?"

Remus stiffened, unconsciously clenching his fists. After the "prank", Remus and Severus had been left alone in the hospital wing together. Due to an immense lack of judgment on Remus' part, he'd actually taken pity on the greasy git and started talking to him. Of course, Severus had tricked him into a kiss, confirming his suspicions that Remus was in fact gay. And he'd been blackmailing Remus ever since.

"You kissed me too. What does that make you?" Remus asked.

"I did it only to get to the truth." Severus tried to move past Remus, but could barely walk.

"You enjoyed it," Remus hissed.

Severus stuck his long nose in Remus' face. "I'm not some goddamn fairy like you Lupin, so -"

Remus shoved him back against the counter, his temper getting the best of him. "Oh, fuck off Snape. We both know you covet Sirius more than I bloody well do. I see the way you look at him, you're worse than me. At least I can admit to myself what I am."

Severus drew his wand with an unsteady hand. "You think I lust after Black?"

"Or is it me you want, Sevvie?" In an instant, Remus had pushed Severus against the counter, their bodies pressed together. Remus knew he shouldn't be doing this, but it was late and he was sick and tired of Severus' threats. All Remus wanted was Sirius, even though he knew his feelings wouldn't be returned. If Sirius were to go after any bloke - and even that much was doubtful - Remus knew it would be James, not him. All Remus got to be was best friend, and he wouldn't have Severus Snape ruin that for him.

"Get off me," Severus insisted.

"Why you down here drinking tonight Severus? Drowning your sorrows because you're all alone this Christmas? Well, I'm here, what are you going to do about it?" Remus questioned.

Severus struggled once more but only managed to rub himself against Remus, causing both boys to unconsciously blush. "I'm not some homo, and even if I was, I wouldn't want the mangy likes of you."

"You're calling me mangy? Tell me Severus, when's the last time you washed your hair?" Remus laughed.

"At least I'm not some freak half-breed!" Severus yelled.

Remus pushed against him harder, straddling Severus. Their noses were almost touching. The other boy's beady black eyes were dark and angry, but behind it all Remus could see sadness. He was so thin and weak beneath his grungy black robes. Not a friend, even in Slytherin. Remus didn't want to pity Severus Snape, but thinking back on all the time James and Sirius had tortured and humiliated him, he couldn't help it. Remus was a prefect, and yet he'd done nothing to help Severus all those times he'd been picked on.

"Get off me. Or else." Severus bared his teeth. Beneath the overwhelming stench of alcohol, Remus caught whiff of something else with his werewolf nose. Every spring Remus could barely contain himself from jumping Sirius when met, and he was always extra frisky with Padfoot when they transformed. Sirius would often joke about mating season, never realizing how close he was to the truth. But the scent that Remus could smell now, he usually only smelt it then. Something like sweat and flesh all mixed together. The smell of desire.

Severus was beginning to look panicked. "I'll tell the whole school if you lay one hand on me, Lupin."

"You didn't tell anyone last time," Remus said.

"Because I would prefer to have a little leverage," Severus said.

"Or maybe because you couldn't admit to yourself you wanted more." Remus grinned; appalled that he was actually enjoying this. He knew he shouldn't be reduced to this bullying, the poor boy may very well be gay but Remus attacking him certainly wouldn't help him come to terms with it. But Remus had been haunted by Snape for months now. It was time for a little fun - and a little payback.

"Just because you can't get a shag -" Severus began.

"When's the last time you were laid Sevvie?" Remus purred. "Never?" He pushed his groin against Severus, nearly climbing atop him.

"This is against school rules, you're a prefect, you'll lose your badge," Severus was rambling now.

Suddenly, Remus felt something hard pushing against his groin, and he laughed out loud.

"You expect me to believe that if I let you go, you'd go running to Dumbledore? I think you're enjoying yourself too much for that," Remus whispered with a suggestive wink. He laughed as Severus turned pink.

"That doesn't mean anything," Severus yelped. "It's just... friction..."

"As much as you disgust me, it's Christmas and I want to do something good. Snape, consider this your invitation out of the closet." Remus leaned in and kissed Severus full on the mouth. This one was more passionate than their first chaste kiss, and Remus almost enjoyed it. Pulling away, he released Severus pinned hands, but remained pushed up against him.

Severus was sputtering, looking at once confused and enraged. He brought his hands to Remus' shoulders, but instead of pushing him away, he rested them there tentatively.

"Kiss me," Remus commanded.

Severus met his eyes, and then all at once did as he was told. Their lips met once more, this time mouths open.

"Remus?!" Sirius Black's shriek filled the room.

The boys leapt apart and Remus spun to face the door. There stood Sirius, pale and gaping. Remus opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words. Sirius merely ran from the room.

Remus glanced at Snape, who looked away from him, ashamed. By the time Snape looked back, Remus was gone.

* * * *

Not for the first time, Remus was glad to have increased hearing and speed, and he tracked Sirius down right away. The dark haired beauty had run right outside onto the Quidditch pitch, oblivious to the falling snow and freezing wind.

Remus caught his arm and he stopped in the middle of the pitch, defeated. He refused to look at Remus.

"What was that?" he asked.

"I don't know," Remus confessed.

"Did he trick you? Use a spell?"

Remus couldn't bring himself to lie. "No. I'm gay Sirius."

"And you like him?" Finally Sirius turned to face him.

"No, but he found out and has been blackmailing me. I was just so fucking sick of it; I wanted to put him in his place. Now he has nothing on me that I don't have on him too."

"So you kissed him."

"I had too."

"Did you like it?'

"I dunno. I don't get a lot of kisses around this place."

"But he's..."

"A greasy git. I know. Sirius, he's not the one I wanted to be kissing."

"What do you -"

"I'm in love with you."

"What?"

"I can't help it, I am."

"I like girls."

"You sure? Maybe I'm crazy, but sometimes the way you look at James..."

Sirius turned bright pink, visible even in the moonlight.

"Look, its okay if you don't feel the same. I know we're not best friends, you're closer with James, and I'm not the best looking or whatever..." Remus trailed off.

"Moony."

"But I want us still to be friends."

"Moony! You are my best friend."

"But James -"

"Has Lily."

"But you're straight."

"I've kissed blokes before."

"What?"

"Well, James. And I've, er, dreamed about guys. About you."

"You've dreamed about me?"

"And you are good looking. And smart."

"Sirius, what are you saying?"

"I don't want to lose our friendship."

"Neither do I."

"But I also don't want to miss out on something great. What could be better than two best buds who shagged too?" A grin played on Sirius' lips.

"You're serious?" Remus couldn't believe his ears.

"Maybe I want to try."

"I can't be your one night stand Sirius."

"You'd be more. You really love me?"

"With all my heart."

"I love you too."

"You do?"

"Yes!"

"Really?"

"Bloody hell, Remus, enough with the questions and kiss me already!"

Remus stepped forward and cupped Sirius face in his hand, brushing away wayward snowflakes. Sirius reached up and pushed hair off Remus' cheek, a small smile on his lips. They kissed lightly at first, lips barely touching, but then Remus pressed harder, and Sirius pulled him close until all either one could think about was the kiss. Neither one noticed a stranger peering from around the Quidditch stands. Neither saw Severus Snape wipe away tears and snow as he witnessed the lover's first kiss. His own lips were still burning as he snuck back to the castle, Remus' name caught in his throat. He'd been so close, it was just like out of his dreams, but he'd lost it all to Black once more. Black always won, and Severus was always left alone - even on Christmas Eve.