Like the Moon, and the Stars, and the Sun

Author's Notes: Written for the first round of the 2008 RS_Games (Team MWPP!) for the prompt: "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde). Thanks to my betas, inksheddings, reddwarfer, and mindabbles, and thanks to John Lennon for the title. (from "Instant Karma") We all shine on!

~*~

He came awake suddenly; his heart pounded in his chest and sounded like thunder in his ears. He kicked off the blanket that had twisted around his middle and reached out his arm, encountering only smooth, cool sheets. He paused, stretching out across the whole of the bed, and focused on slowing his breathing. It hadn't been a nightmare that had woken him. Not really. It was more a feeling that something was missing...

There was the smallest gap in the bed curtains but only the faintest light shone through. Still deep night, he thought, and wondered how much longer until the obscenely early sunrise. Even after nearly six years, he still couldn't get used to the short summer nights. Not that he minded all of the sunlight, but it was nearly impossible to force his body to go to sleep when the sky never really seemed to get dark.

Only a couple weeks left until summer holidays--their last as students. So much had happened in the past year, so many things had changed. Yet he didn't exactly feel any different. He was still Sirius Black. Still the same old handsome, cheeky, bastard he'd always been, popular, top student, troublemaker extraordinaire, and randy as the proverbial goat. Not that he had any satyric leanings or anything that perverse, though he wasn't quite sure he could say the same for the barkeep at the Hog's Head. And Moony had once had something of an affinity for chickens, though he still denied it.

He chuckled to himself and turned over onto his side, hugging his pillow. No, something had definitely changed and had caught him completely unaware. Well, maybe not completely. More like he simply hadn't been paying attention. Or hadn't quite wanted to pay attention, at least at first...

~*~

"Well, it's about bloody time!" he murmured, checking his watch. Eighteen minutes until moonrise.

Sirius backed further into the shadows of the hayloft as the voices came closer, dust and hay stirring up in the shafts of evening sun streaming through the cracks in the boards. He covered his mouth and nose with his hand to keep from sneezing.

"I'll be fine," Remus said.

"I know you will," his father replied, and there was a loud scrape and a clatter, which sent more dust and bits of hay swirling in the air. "Your mother and I still worry. That can't be helped."

Sirius looked up from the crack in the floor he was peering through just in time to see the top rungs of the ladder disappear. Bugger.

"I suppose not."

"Yes, well." Mr Lupin cleared his throat. "I'll be back after moonset."

"Try and get some sleep, you and Mum."

"Mmm. Remus? We love you. Stay safe."

"Love you too, Dad."

The barn door closed and he heard the snick of the lock. He counted to twenty, impatiently skipping the last few numbers, and rose from his hiding place, brushing hay off his shirt. The floorboards creaked as he walked to the edge and peered down, gauging the distance. Remus was staring up at him, his jaw gaping.

He grinned and sat down on the edge, legs dangling for a brief moment before he turned over and lowered himself until he was hanging by his fingertips. He dropped to the ground with a thud and wiped his hands on his jeans, wincing and biting at his index finger. "Bugger. I think I got a splinter." He spat, wiped his hand again and shrugged. "Didn't expect he'd take the ladder down."

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Hello to you, too. C'mon, Moony. What do you take me for? You didn't think I was gonna let you go back to being alone. Not after all the shit we went through."

"How'd you get here?"

"I flew."

"All the way from London, in broad daylight, right."

"Don't be an arse, I took the Knight Bus."

"Where's James then? Having a piss in the hayloft? You two never do anything alone."

"His mum wouldn't let him come. He's got some kind of Kneazle Pox or somesuch," he said, waving his hand. "You should see him--his whole face is green and splotchy. Really nasty shite. She caught him trying to sneak out of the house twice so she nicked his broom and his wand, locked up the Floo Powder, and put charms on all the windows and doors so he can't leave. Poor sod."

"And you came without him?"

"Oi! What's that supposed to mean? We're not attached at the bloody hip!"

Remus rolled his eyes.

"You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you weren't happy to see me. Which, c'mon. Everyone's always glad to see me. Except maybe Filch. And my family. And Snivellus. And probably Evans. And--"

"By the time you finish that list, it'll be Halloween."

"Har har." He sat down beside Remus, picked up a piece of hay and nibbled on the end. "'Bout ten minutes," he said, glancing at his watch. "Do you really want me to leave?"

"You can't, you arse." Remus scowled. "Barn's locked from the outside, and it's charmed not to open until after moonset anyway. You knew that."

"Right. Suppose I did." He grinned.

Remus rolled his eyes and turned away. "You could have asked first," he mumbled.

"And ruin the surprise? You'd have said no, and you know it. I'm not stupid, you know."

"That's debatable."

"Moony," Sirius said, tugging on a lock of Remus' hair. "Don't be a bloody wet blanket."

Remus reached up and grabbed Sirius' hand. "Stop that, y'wanker. What happens in the morning when my dad comes back and finds you here?"

"He won't. Merlin's balls, Moony. I know you're always a right crank right before, but you don't have to be an ungrateful arse about it, too."

Remus was still holding on to his fingers, and he squeezed them hard before letting them go.

"You're not still sore about the Snivellus thing, are you?" Sirius asked, lying back on his elbows.

"Hmm? Wha'? Oh, that. Course not."

"Good. Now c'mon. Where d'ya put your clothes? Six minutes."

Sirius watched as Remus rose slowly to his feet and pulled his robe over his head. He was naked beneath. He walked to the far wall where a crude cupboard was set high in the wall, and gingerly folded the robe before stuffing it onto a shelf and securing the door.

"Quit ogling, you bloody perv," Remus said, walking back to where Sirius was sprawled.

Sirius chuckled. Not so long ago, Remus wouldn't have removed even his socks if he knew anyone was watching.

"Padfoot," he said, sitting down and looking solemnly over at Sirius. "Don't watch, yeah?"

"Huh?"

"When I... Don't watch, okay?"

"What are you talking about? We've seen you change before. I've bloody carried you starkers through half the forest."

"I know. But that's different. It's d-different the other way round. I--" He was shaking, and beads of sweat were forming on his forehead, neck and chest.

"Moony," Sirius said, sitting up and spitting out the piece of hay he'd been chewing. He reached out to touch him, but Remus knocked his hand away.

"Don't! Change, please. N-now! Don't watch!"

He nodded, suddenly frightened, and transformed into Padfoot, backing away slowly. The world around him shifted from colour to shades of grey, flatter and duller, but the smells... He could smell Remus now, even as he moved further away, a miasma of sweat and fear, sharp and male. He heard a soft whimpering, and realised it was coming from his own throat.

Remus had lain down, curling in on himself, hands and jaw clenched tight, head thrown back in agony, and he could see the cords standing out on his neck. He turned his head away as Remus had asked, but looked up sharply when he smelled blood.

Remus had bit through his lip, and the dark blood was welling on his chin. He heard himself bark and stepped forward, instinct telling him to run to Moony, but Remus looked at him just then, with wide, wild, golden eyes. He could see the pupils lengthening vertically, and he froze, his tail stiff between his hind legs.

Remus screamed then, a high-pitched, inhuman scream, and Padfoot flinched and sank on his haunches, unable to move as Remus' body shifted and cracked. He could literally see the bones moving beneath Remus' skin as it stretched and contracted, and he shuddered. Fur sprouted and grew thicker as all traces of the boy slowly disappeared, the high-pitched screams ripping and crackling through the air. He could still smell faint traces of the human boy, but the animal scent of the wolf was overpowering.

He'd tried to look away, he really had. He felt sick and his whole body shook, but he couldn't bring himself to close his eyes or turn away. It was both the most horrible and most fascinating thing he'd ever seen, and Remus had been right. It was different from the reverse. Seeing his friend in such terrible agony, watching as the wolf swallowed him whole, and standing there so completely helpless... He was suddenly grateful to be a dog and not human, because he was sure that he would have vomited all over himself.

Oh, Moony! he thought, right before he was bowled over by ten stone of enthusiastic werewolf.

*

He sat on the ground and gathered the shaking, sweaty, unconscious boy in his arms, rocking him slowly. A shaft of sunlight splayed across Remus' pale forehead, and he gently pushed back his sweaty fringe, picking out bits of hay from his damp hair. He knew Mr Lupin would be here shortly, but he was loath to leave Remus alone just yet.

They'd had a good night--exhausting, but good--romping about. He was sure that the wolf had been glad to see him, that he'd recognised and remembered him, just as he was sure that the wolf had noticed the absence of Prongs and Wormtail. He'd missed them, too, if only for the chance to rest, but if he was honest with himself, there was a part of him that was glad that they hadn't been able to come.

Ever since they found out in first year, they all felt somewhat possessive over Remus--like he was theirs to protect and sod it if he didn't want protecting--but when he was Padfoot, it was even more pronounced. A stag and a rat couldn't play with the wolf the same way he could, nor could they curl up with Remus on his bed and keep his feet warm. As daft as it sounded, it made him feel special, gave him a purpose, and that was something he wouldn't even acknowledge to James.

James would maybe understand, but he'd still laugh at him and tease him relentlessly, and because he wouldn't keep his big gob shut, Moony would find out and think he was a bloody girl.

Remus stirred in his arms. "Pa'f't?"

"Hush, Moony. I'm here. It's over."

"Mmm. You'kay?"

"I'm fine. Stop worrying about me, y'wanker. Was a good moon. You ran me ragged."

"Lazy'rse"

He tweaked Remus' nose. "Shut it, you," he said, and smiled.

"M'dad. Soon."

"I know." He sighed, glanced at his watch, and gently laid Remus on the floor, watching as he winced and curled up into himself. His shoulder was still bleeding where the wolf had bit himself during the transformation back, before Padfoot could stop him, but it wasn't too deep. There was a bruise blossoming on his hip from when he'd slammed into the wall during their roughhousing, but otherwise, he seemed fine.

He rubbed his own shoulder where he knew a similar bruise was likely forming and shook his head, grunting; a small price to pay. He brushed Remus' fringe aside again and paused, listening.

"M'da," Remus said again, and Sirius heard a soft clatter by the door.

Without thinking, he bent down and kissed Remus lightly on his forehead. Remus opened his eyes, but Sirius jerked back, transformed, and scooted into the shadows under the loft, burrowing into a pile of hay just as the door creaked open on its hinges.

He watched Mr Lupin walk swiftly over to his son and bend down over him. "Well, well. Will you look at you," he murmured. "Not bad. Not bad at all. Your mum'll be glad."

He rose and walked to the cupboard, taking down Remus' robe, and Sirius could smell his relief as he gently lifted Remus and wrapped the robe around his still-shaking body.

"Da..."

"You're going to be just fine, son. Just fine," Mr Lupin said as he carried him from the barn, the door swinging shut behind them.

Sirius yawned and sighed, scratched vigorously behind his ear, and stood, shaking off the hay. He trotted across the barn to the door and nosed it open, watching as Mr Lupin carried Remus into the house. He counted to ten before dashing out, in the opposite direction, into the patch of woods behind the barn.

I'm just tired. It didn't mean anything. He's Moony, for fuck's sake.

He found a nice, soft bit of moss under a large tree and circled twice before settling down, chin on his paws, and closing his eyes to sleep.

~*~

He rolled onto his back and stretched, restlessly kicking at the blankets and frowning up at the canopy.

He'd returned home later that day to a nasty row with his parents, and two days later he'd stormed out for good. James was still poxed, but he knew Mrs Potter wouldn't have turned him away even if James had been suffering from Spattergroit.

James and Peter had both come with him the next month for the full, and this time Sirius hadn't looked, keeping the other two back while Remus transformed, though Peter had squeaked with fright and dived under the hay, and James had blinked his big stupid eyes and nervously pawed at the floor. It had felt cramped with the four of them, mostly because of Prong's ridiculous rack, and they'd all yearned to run free outside. But at least Moony hadn't been alone, and he hadn't been alone with Remus to make an utter fool of himself again.

Remus had come to visit at James' house a few days after, but Sirius had been too preoccupied trying to pull one of the young shop girls in town. If Remus had been angry or upset when he and James had caught them snogging in an alley one day during her lunch break, he hadn't shown it. He'd merely rolled his eyes and dragged James off, muttering something about randy, depraved idiots while James had hooted and told him to transfigure a bed. Idiot. She was a Muggle.

When he'd shagged her later that night, the fact that it hadn't been anything special clearly meant that he just hadn't fancied her as much as he'd thought.

Not that you needed to fancy someone in order to have a good shag or anything daft and soppy like that...

~*~

"Shhh!"

"Don't bloody shush me," James said. "You keep stepping on my heels. And Wormtail's digging his bloody claws into my shoulder."

"Good for you, Wormtail. We can't both fit under here anymore," Sirius hissed, ducking out from under the cloak. "Where the fuck is Moony with the map?"

"I'm right here," Remus said quietly, stepping out from an alcove behind a suit of armour.

Sirius jumped and lit his wand. "Merlin's balls! You arse."

"How rude!" said a nearby portrait.

"You shut it," Sirius said and shot a silencing spell at it. He turned back to Remus. "And you--"

"Shh! Now who's being an arse?" Remus whispered, covering Sirius' mouth with his free hand. "You'll wake the whole bloody castle."

"Mmphmmph!"

"Bastard," Remus said, pulling his hand away and wiping his palm on his robes. "That's disgusting."

Sirius grinned. "Come closer and I'll lick something else."

"No thanks," Remus said as James laughed.

"You're late, Moony," James said.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I, er, lost track of the time."

"Well, c'mon. Let's go," James said while Sirius made loud smooching noises against the back of his hand. "Quit it, Padfoot. You get caught, I'm swanning off with Wormtail and leaving your sorry arse behind."

Remus sighed. "Both of you shut up. I'll lead. This way's clear, c'mon."

Sirius followed along behind as they made their way to the fifth floor. So Remus had been off with Maddie whatsherface again, that fifth year Ravenclaw prefect with the big cow eyes and the too-thin lips. How did you go about snogging someone who had no lips, anyway? Must be pretty lousy at giving head, too. Hmph.

They paused outside the door as Remus whispered the password, and Sirius closed it behind them after they were inside, casting three separate locking charms and an Imperturbable Charm for good measure. James and Peter were already turning on the taps to fill the big tub, and Remus was sitting on a bench removing his shoes and socks.

"Oi, Wormtail--not that one. That's the purple shite."

"Oh, right. Sorry."

He sat down beside Remus and grinned, reaching for his own shoes. "So, you get any?"

Remus shook his head and rolled his eyes. "I'm not you."

"More's the pity," he said, ducking as Remus punched him in the arm. "How do you snog her anyway?"

"What do you mean?" Remus asked, standing up and pulling his robes over his head. "Same way anyone snogs."

"No, I mean, she hasn't got lips. How do you kiss someone who doesn't have lips?"

"She does too have lips!" Remus said.

"Not from where I'm looking. 'S like a chicken."

"Chickens don't have lips at all, you idiot."

"See? Just like I said," he said, pulling his own robes off and flinging them aside. "Peck, peck, peck. Can't snog properly without lips."

"You are such an arse."

"What? It's the truth. You know, she kind of reminds me of McGonagall, now that I think about it. You know how thin her lips get when she's all flustered around me--"

"Flustered?"

"--'s like they just disappear. Hmm, is that why you like her then? 'Cause she looks like McGonagall? Bet she snogs like McGonagall, too," he added and jumped out of the way before Remus could grab him. "Moony wants to snog McGonagall!"

"Bastard! Don't foist your disgusting fantasies on me."

He laughed, dodging away and running for the tub, cannonballing in with a big splash.

"Moony wa--Oof!" he grunted as something heavy and bony landed on top of him, knocking him in the head and dragging him back under the water. He came up spluttering to the sound of laughter.

"Hey Moony! When we say 'knock some sense into him', we don't usually mean it literally," Peter said.

"Dunno, Pete," James said. "Have to admit that was pretty sweet, though I doubt it worked."

"Oi, whose side are you on, anyway?" he yelled, trying to dislodge Remus from around his neck. "Merlin's balls, you're pointy. Watch that elbow."

"Padfoot, if anyone wants to shag McGonagall, it's you. But he is right, Moony," James said. "Maddie does have chicken lips."

"Ha! Told you!" he said, and coughed as Remus tightened his hold around his neck.

"You really don't want those anywhere near your cock," James continued. "Or maybe you do. Chickens do like cocks."

Remus dunked him under the water, and when he surfaced, he saw that he'd been abandoned for James. Peter was laughing and cheering Remus on.

"Oi, Wormtail," he called and grinned widely.

"Oh, shit!"

*

"Hey," Sirius said, nudging James and jerking his chin towards the other side of the tub where Remus was sitting with Peter.

"Yeah?" James replied, raising his eyebrows.

"Definitely."

"Think you can do it?"

He reached down and touched his flaccid cock. "Not like this. Give me a minute."

"Just close your eyes and think of McGonagall," James whispered.

Sirius punched him in the shoulder. "Wanker, now I'll need five minutes."

"Five seconds."

He raised two fingers to James, and kicked off from the side, swimming over to the underwater ledge where Peter and Remus were sitting.

"Hey Moony, budge up a bit, willya?" he asked, seating himself on the ledge between Remus and Peter so that he was directly below one of the taps. He looked over at James and winked.

Remus narrowed his eyes at him. "What are you up to, now?"

"Me?" he asked, and leaned back against the side of the tub, head back, right hand reaching under the water to stroke himself. "Nothing. Just getting comfortable. I like this side better."

"Sirius!" Peter yelped and pushed away from the ledge.

Remus glanced up at the tap, looked over his shoulder at James, and then turned back to Sirius. "Oh, no," he said.

Sirius grinned. "Oh, yes. Stay. It's more fun when someone gets an eyeful, don't you think?"

"You are sick and depraved, you are. You're really going to--"

"Oh, yes," Sirius said again, watching Remus' face now as he continued to stroke himself. "I think people should get what they want, don't you Moony? Especially when they deserve it."

He could tell that Remus was trying very hard to keep a straight face, though the fact that he hadn't moved away...

After another minute with Remus still watching him, he let go and used both hands to push himself up onto the side of the tub, his feet on the underwater ledge, careful not to hit his head against the tap. He reached down to continue stroking himself, and looked up at Remus again.

"Oh god," Remus said. "You're really..."

He reached up with his free hand and grasped the tap, pulling himself up. It was a bit awkward, the angle, but it wouldn't take long now. He could hear James and Peter desperately trying to stifle their laughter, but didn't risk looking over at them. Instead he looked back at Remus who was still watching him with an almost stunned expression on his face. Almost...

"Padfoot," Remus whispered and swallowed.

Sirius jerked himself upward and gasped, pushing his cock into the open tap, both hands gripping the curved pipe as his head fell back.

A loud, high-pitched shriek sounded from inside the tap, echoing almost eerily as the screamer fled down the pipe, and James and Peter howled with laughter.

Remus scrambled out of the tub with a snort and a muttered curse as Sirius lowered himself back onto the ledge in the water, stretching his arms and legs, a wide grin on his face as he joined in the laughter. "I think she liked that."

Remus dropped a towel on his head and sat down beside him on the edge of the bath, careful to avoid both the water and the tap. Sirius grabbed the towel, leaning his head back, and grinned up at Remus.

"Oh, god! I can't believe you really did it. You really are a sick bastard, you know," Remus said, still chuckling. "And we are never, ever using that tap again."

Sirius sighed happily. "For a ghost, Myrtle gives great head. Probably a lot better than Maddie does."

Remus smacked him in the head, and he grinned wider.

~*~

He clasped his hands behind his head, elbows wide against the pillow, and grinned at the memory.

That had been a great night. And really, how many people could say they'd been sucked off by a ghost? Ok, so technically there hadn't been any tongue, and for all he knew, he'd got her eye instead of her mouth, but it had felt cold and tingly, and made the hair on the back of his neck all prickly, and Moony had stayed beside him and watched the whole thing.

Not that it meant anything. It had been a prank. A prank and a wank, but still a prank. A great prank--Myrtle still shrieked and fled whenever she saw him, and even Nick had asked him what he'd done to make poor Myrtle so distraught. He shook his head. Distraught my arse. She's a bloody perv! Always watching us.

Moony had watched, too, though.

Yeah, well, Moony was a bloody perv, too, even if he wouldn't admit it. It was enough that he knew the truth of it. Moony was a big ol' bottom-dwelling pervert just like him. Well, with the sole exception of Moony's affinity for chickens, something he most definitely did not share.

Moony had broken things off with chicken lips two weeks later. Well, she sort of dumped him first after she'd overheard him and James poking fun at her, but Moony hadn't seemed to mind much at all.

Not that it meant anything. Just like Moony watching him hadn't meant anything.

Only--he'd liked Moony watching, and Moony had liked watching. And it was right around that time that he'd started to realise that all of those nothings might actually mean something after all.

~*~

"I met a whore in a pub one day, hoo-ya, hoo-ya!"

"Merlin's hairy nuts, Prongs, 'nuff a'ready! C'mon, Moooony," Sirius said, slinging his arm around Remus' waist, sending them sideways into the side of the passageway. A shower of loose dirt fell on them, and Remus reached up an unsteady hand to bat it away.

"Look! 'S-snowing!"

Sirius snorted and tugged him forward, the two of them stumbling after James, who was still singing far too loudly.

"If I give 'er a Galleon, I could ride 'er like a stallion"

"You're a stag, y'stupidarse!" Remus called out. "Not a stallion," he explained to Sirius.

Sirius shook his head. They were all fairly pissed, but Moony was really pissed. It was actually very amusing, or would be if James wasn't so bloody loud. Or if he could actually carry a bloody tune.

"I said, Come have a shag with a great strapping stag..."

"Tha's better," Remus said. "Shag a stag, ha ha!" He fell to his knees in the dirt, laughing, pulling Sirius with him.

"Merlin, you're pissed, an' I know you are 'cause if you weren', you 'd never laugh at somethin' that stupid."

"I heard that!" James called. "Here's one f'you Padfoot: If you give 'er a Knut, you can slide in her boot!"

Remus looked down at his shoes.

"Not that kind of boot, y'daft idiot," Sirius said, chuckling and shaking his head. "Ow. Dizzy. Bloody Potter. I'm not that cheap!" he called after James, who hadn't stopped walking--staggering really--and was still singing. "Ah well, least we don't have to hear the bloody ga--"

"Ohhhh, how I love a gang bang! Oh yes I dooooo..."

"That's it," he said and aimed his wand down the tunnel. "Silencio!" The spell had extinguished his Lumos spell, and the tunnel was suddenly dark and eerily quiet. "Thank fucking Merlin!" he said. "Lumos."

"'Cause a gang bang makes me feel so gooooood! Ha! Ha! Y'missed, y'wanker!"

Sirius covered his face with his hands. "Fuck. I bloody hate him so much."

"When I was younger, an' in my prime..."

Remus patted him on the head. "You need a drink. Here, y'can share mine," he said, reaching into the inside pocket of his cloak. He took out a small bottle with a solid black label, pulled out the cork with his teeth and handed it to Sirius. "Caf'wl, 'as a kick."

Purplish smoke was rising from the opening.

"Moony," Sirius said, speaking slowly. "Where did you get this stuff?"

"W's awn 'a-- Thanks," he said, smiling when Sirius took the cork out of his mouth.

"Where?" Sirius prompted, nudging Remus with his knee.

"Oh! Sorry. Um, what?"

"This," he said, thrusting the bottle in front of Remus' face and pulling it away as Remus tried to grab it.

"Oh, that's some really good stuff! Tha' bloke in the funny hat, he was snorin' so I fig'red he din't need it anymore." Remus shrugged. "'S'good stuff, jus' don' breathe in the smoke. Wormtail breathed it an' got all funny, and... Hey! Where is he? D'we lose him?"

Sirius threw back his head and laughed. "Christ, Moony! You're all right, you know?" he said, wiping his eyes and re-corking the bottle. "I'll hold on t'this," he added, stowing it in his cloak pocket. "This stuff's illegal, never mind that you went and nicked it. Ya daft bastard," he said fondly.

"Oh. Tha's prob'ly bad then. Thanks, Pads. You're always takin' care o' me. 'S'nice," Remus said, leaning his head on Sirius' shoulder.

Sirius turned his head and found himself nose-to-nose with Remus, who was looking up at him with wide, albeit bloodshot, eyes. His breath caught in his throat for the briefest of moments, and then he simply leant down and kissed him.

"Mmmhmlps," Remus said.

"Whassat?" Sirius asked, pulling back and climbing over Remus' legs on his knees, straddling him, his wand dropping to the ground, forgotten.

"Lips," Remus said right before Sirius kissed him again.

Merlin's balls, he was kissing Moony! Not just kissing, snogging him pretty thoroughly. In a secret underground passageway. Against a dirt wall. It should have felt strange; he should probably have drunk more alcohol, but it was good, and really, it was just Moony, and Moony was snogging him ba--

He pulled back, frowning. Moony had been snogging him back; he wasn't that drunk. He reached for his wand which was half-buried in the dirt and raised it, shining the light in Remus' face.

"Shit." He sighed and lowered his wand. Remus had passed out. Now, there was an ego booster.

He stood up, brushed the dirt from his knees, and unbuttoned his cloak the rest of the way, shoving his wand into the waistband of his jeans, tip up, so his hands would be free. "All right, Moony, up you go." He reached down and snaked his arm under Remus' armpit and hauled him up.

"'S'it breakf'st a'ready?" Remus mumbled. "Better wake Pete."

"Yeah," he said, shaking his head. Damn, they really had lost Wormtail. Ah well, he was a thrifty bastard. He'd manage. Well, as long as one of the village cats didn't find him first. "C'mon, Moony, let's go."

"Oh, good. I wan' beans 'n toast."

Sirius rolled his eyes and dragged Remus down the passage.

"An' some kippers 'n eggs 'n tomatoes. Wi'marmite."

"That's disgusting," he said, and promptly tripped over a rather large obstruction lying across the tunnel, dropping Remus. "Ow! What the fuck?"

"Oooh, 's Prongs!" Remus said, apparently unhurt by the fall. "Prongs, wake up, 's breakf'st!"

"Fuck. I hate you both."

~*~

Well, that night had been a disaster. More fun in retrospect, but Moony hadn't remembered a thing the next day, so he had chosen to tactfully skip over that part of their evening in the re-telling. Still, Moony had been a fun drunk, unlike James, the bloody wanker. He was only fun when Sirius was equally drunk. At least he'd found out why they'd all been more pissed than he'd been. James had been nipping from Remus' contraband as well. Bastard.

Wormtail hadn't been eaten by a cat after all. Or a goat for that matter. Apparently he'd transformed, crawled away and passed out somewhere behind the bar. The barkeeper had chased him out the next morning with a broom.

All in all, it was a miracle they hadn't been caught and expelled. Not that the possibility had stopped them from sneaking out many times since. Though Moony hadn't ever got pissed like that again. He still couldn't decide whether that was a good thing or not...

~*~

"Moony! Hey, wait a min--"

"Just let him go, Padfoot," James said, yawning. "He doesn't want to talk about it."

"Well, if you'd shut your yap! Fucking Snivellus! I'll fucking kill him!"

"I told you, we'll get him back, and sod what Moony thinks," James said.

"Moony hates him, too," Peter said, rubbing his recently-healed arm. "I just think he still feels a bit, well, you know, after last year."

"Nosy git," Sirius grumbled. "What else did he say to him, Pete?"

"Something about buggering his boyfriend Black--er, you--under the full moon. There was more, but I was a bit preoccupied with Avery at the time. Managed a Stinging Hex right in his bollocks, though," Peter said proudly.

"Ooh, nice one, Wormtail," James said, grinning.

"If he doesn't shut it about the full moon shite. I swear I'm gonna cut out his fucking tongue!"

"Don't mind the buggering you bit, though, eh?"

"Fuck you, James."

"Just leave it for now, Pads. He does it on purpose. He knows how you get, and so does Moony, which is probably why he didn't tell you himself."

Sirius grunted and took the map from Remus' bag.

"Padfoot..."

"Shut up and go to sleep, Prongs," he said. "Aha! There you are. Can't hide from me."

James snorted. "I doubt he's hiding, you arse. He probably just wanted to get away from you. Leave him alone."

"Fuck off," Sirius said, stuffing his feet into his trainers and grabbing his cloak. "Don't wait up."

"Sirius!" James said, and gave him a searching look.

Sirius sighed. "Don't say it, all right? Look, if he tells me to go bugger myself, I'll leave, yeah?"

James shook his head. "You want my cloak?"

"Nah, the map's enough. Don't want to leave you empty handed. 'Night, Prongs. Wormtail. Nice going tonight, by the way."

"Thanks, Padfoot," Peter said, grinning.

*

As soon as he was outside, he stowed the map and his wand in his pocket, and ducked around the side of the castle. A moment later, a big black dog was bounding across the grass down toward the western shore of the lake. He'd reasoned that, if by chance Remus really didn't want to see him, he'd still welcome Padfoot.

He smelled him before he saw him, and he slowed his pace to a trot, sniffing at the ground to follow Moony's footsteps. He slowed to a walk when he saw him, lying on a patch of grass not far from the lakeside.

"Go away, Sirius."

Damn. He dropped to his haunches, tail wagging and tongue lolling, and whined softly.

"I left for a reason, you arse. Just go away."

He stretched and inched his way forward, penitent, and nosed Remus' side, still whining softly.

Remus pushed his head away. "Ugh, quit it. What, did you think I'd like you better as a dog?"

He licked at Remus' hand and stretched out on the ground, covering his nose with his paws.

"You're pathetic."

He stayed where he was, tail thumping lightly on the grass.

"I hate you," Remus said, and reached his hand out, scratching him behind the ears.

He grinned to himself and pressed closer, laying his muzzle on Remus' bicep. His tail thumped gently against Remus' thigh.

After a long while, Remus sighed and extricated his arm. "You can change back if you want."

He licked Remus' ear--"Ugh, get your slimy tongue outta my ear, you arse!"-- sat up on his haunches, and changed back, grinning.

"Shut up."

"Oi, I didn't even say anything."

"You were going to."

"I wasn't!" Okay, so he was, but that wasn't the point.

"Liar," Remus said lightly, and quirked his lip.

Sirius grunted and lay down beside him. "He deserves it."

"Maybe, maybe I do too, but that doesn't matter. I don't want to talk about it."

He jerked his head up and looked at Remus in askance. "You? How can you even think--?"

"Sirius, please. I really don't want to talk about Snape right now, all right?"

"All right. Fine," he huffed and lay back down, looking up at the sky. It was a cloudless night, for a change, and the stars were brilliant, twinkling their admonishment at him. I said all right, he thought up at them. I don't want to talk about him either, you know. Thinking about him's bad enough. Greasy, nauseating little cunt of a--

"--on its side like that."

"Whassat?"

Remus sighed. "Stop thinking about him."

"I wasn't--"

"You were. And if you're not going to let it drop then just bugger off, all right? I wasn't kidding."

The stars twinkled at him again. "Oi, shut up, you," he told them.

"You're telling me--"

"Not you!"

"Not me. Do we have company I'm unaware of?"

"No, it's... I was talking to the bloody stars."

"The stars?" Remus coughed and cleared his throat, and Sirius was sure he heard a snicker. "Um, what exactly did they say?"

"Now you can shut up, and this time I am talking to you."

"I was merely curious. Talking stars are really rather fascinating. You could write a paper, have it published in the Astronomical Times. Or start a whole new branch of Divination. Maybe you're part Centaur."

"Moony!"

Remus chuckled. "Talking to the stars. Honestly, Padfoot."

"Hmph," he replied, though he couldn't help grinning. At least he'd got Moony to laugh, though the image of his mother being bent over and fucked by a Centaur... Merlin's balls, he'd have to beg James to Obliviate him later. "What were you saying about something on its side?"

"Mmm, subtle," Remus said. "I was talking about The Plough. The Dipper."

Sirius looked up at Ursa Major. "Who the hell looks at that and sees a bear? Bears don't even have tails."

"I think they used to. Don't you remember that story about Zeus and Callisto from Ovid? That was first year Astronomy class."

He shrugged. It sounded vaguely familiar. "I never paid attention to that bunk, and it wasn't ever going to be on any of the exams, anyway. Dubhe, Merak, Mizar, Alcor. The names of the stars are what's important."

"Professor Alamanto would disagree," Remus said lightly.

"Ha! Divination is a load of rubbish. The only thing my tea leaves would say to anyone is that I just finished a nice cuppa." He swept his arm across the sky. "The future? The stars show only the past. We're looking at millions of years of history."

"Billions."

Sirius grunted and pointed to Vega. "Vega's what? Twenty-six light years away?"

"Give or take."

"Right. So if we were lying on the grass on a planet circling Vega right now, the constellations would look completely different. Lyras wouldn't even exist for us. Astrology is ridiculously two-dimensional. None of the stars in any of these constellations are remotely near one another in three dimensional space, and I don't think anyone on a Vegan planet would give an Erumpent's arse whether Mercury was in retrograde, or if Venus was in the fifth house or the doghouse. The whole thing is bollocks."

"Mmmm," Remus replied. "Who can say? I think the constellations are more about finding familiar patterns in chaos."

"Hmph. Maybe. Though, if the great ancients were going to dream up all these constellations, they could have at least chosen to model them after something useful."

"Useful?"

"Sure. I mean, look, right there," he said, pointing. "That could be the Little Tit."

"Where?"

"Right there, just over from Arcturus."

Remus snorted. "You mean Corona Borealis?"

"Boobealis."

"All of Ancient Rome is cringing at you right now, you realise."

"Meh, they're all dead. The Greeks would appreciate it. And there's the Big Tit over there," he said pointing low in the west. "Actually, it's perfect. The Big Tit, right next to Regulus."

"Really, Padfoot," Remus murmured. "I actually like Leo. The sickle."

"Sickle, yeah, but I fail to see how anyone can look at that and think, 'by jove, that looks like a lion!'"

"That's because your imagination is extremely limited," Remus said.

"I've got a brilliant imagination! Ooh, look! There's one for the Greeks: The Great Buggered Arse Crack."

Remus' voice sounded wary. "Where?"

"Right there," Sirius said, sliding closer so that their heads were touching, and taking Remus' hand to point just above the trees of the forest. "See the curve? And right there, look. There's Sadr, totally buggered by Deneb."

"How do you get an arse from Cygnus? It's a swan! Those are the wings."

"Such a limited imagination you've got, Moony. I'm disappointed," Sirius said, shaking his head. His fingers were still wrapped loosely around Remus' wrist, and he lowered their hands to the grass.

Remus snorted, but didn't pull his hand away. "You're just a bloody pervert. What's next, the Great Bloody Phallus?"

"Nah. Don't need the stars to see that. Got one right here."

"Wanker." Remus kicked him in the ankle. "Don't kid yourself. It's not that great."

"Hmph. You're just jealous."

They were both silent after that, watching the sky as Saturn slipped below the peak of the hills to the west.

Remus sighed. "I don't really care so much for the summer constellations."

"Hmm? Why's that?"

Remus didn't reply so Sirius nudged him with his foot.

"Well, for one thing, the nights are far too short. 'Specially up here, so far north."

"Dunno. I thought you'd prefer shorter nights," Sirius said.

"Why?"

"Well, the moon and all," Sirius said, looking southeast. It was four nights past full, but it hadn't risen above the mountains yet. "You don't have to see it so long."

"You can still see it in the daylight, and whether or not I can see it..."

"I know. You can still feel it. Dunno. I guess it just seems less, I don't know, ominous I suppose, in the daylight."

Remus grunted, but said nothing.

"So what's wrong with the summer sky?" Sirius asked. It was a cool spring night with a light breeze, but his palm was sweating, and he could feel his fingers almost twitching against Remus' wrist.

"I knew you wouldn't drop it."

He grinned in the dark. "I'm dogged."

Remus groaned. "That's awful."

"True though." He looked to the west and frowned. His namesake wouldn't be visible again this far north until August.

"It's nothing. You'll think I'm daft."

"I already know you're daft," he said, squeezing his fingers around Remus' wrist. "C'mon, tell me. I promise I won't laugh."

Remus sighed. "Heliacal Setting, though technically it's not for another two weeks. At least in Egypt."

"Huh?"

"Now who's daft? You know bloody well--"

"'Course I know what it is. It's my star, after all." And he'd just been thinking the same thing, though he didn't say so. "What's that got--? Aww, Moony. You miss me." He reached his free hand across his body and mussed Remus' hair.

"The star, not you, you git. The sky just feels wrong without it. And Orion." Remus shivered. "Told you it was daft."

"Only a little. You cold?"

"A bit. It's okay though."

"We could go in."

Remus shook his head. "You can if you want. It's too nice out tonight."

Sirius sat up, finally letting go Remus' wrist. "C'mere."

"Where?"

He unbuttoned his cloak and shifted, taking it off. "Here."

"Then you'll be cold."

"Tch," he grunted. "Just sit up then. Or, wait. Come over here," he said, moving a few yards away near a large rock. He sat down before it, facing the lake, his cloak around his shoulders like a blanket, and leaned back against it, opening his legs.

"Is that an invitation?" Remus asked, his lips quirked in a crooked grin.

"Ingrate. Maybe. Just sit down." Remus sat down between his legs and leant back as Sirius drew up his legs and wrapped his cloak around them. "Better?"

"Mmmm," Remus replied, resting his hands on Sirius' thighs.

Okay, so maybe this wasn't quite the brightest thing he could have done, he thought, feeling his cock twitch in his jeans. He cleared his throat.

"Hey, Moony. About before..."

"Forget it, Sirius."

"I just didn't want you to be angry with me."

"I'm not. I wasn't before either. Just...frustrated. You get so...protective, sometimes."

"I can't help it," he said, tightening his arms ever so slightly around Remus' chest. He really couldn't help it. He couldn't remember a time when he hadn't felt protective toward him, and he couldn't explain why. No, that was a lie. He knew exactly why he felt that way, at least now, and with Remus pressed so close against him, the evidence was growing rather rapidly.

"Yeah, but it's different from how you are with James and Peter."

"I know," he said softy into Remus' hair.

"Why?" Remus asked softly, turning his head to look back at him.

Without stopping to think, Sirius leaned in and kissed him. He felt Remus stiffen and started to pull back, but then Remus' tongue darted out to lick tentatively at his lower lip.

He was so still, everything so quiet, that for a moment he thought his heart had stopped. It came thundering back a heartbeat later as Remus slipped his tongue inside his mouth.

Oh, he'd wanted this for so long, and this time there was no one to interrupt them, no alcohol impairing anyone or anything, and it was bloody marvellous, just sitting there, kissing Moony, and he didn't ever want to stop.

The cloak fell from his fingers as he splayed his hands across Remus' stomach, rubbing in slow circles, wishing desperately that Remus hadn't been wearing his robes, because there was far too much material between his hands and Remus' skin. His hand circled lower, and...Oh!

Remus stopped and pulled back, his eyes wide. "I..."

Sirius leaned forward and kissed him again, his hands reaching for the hem of Remus' robes, hiking them up over his thighs, spreading both of their legs wider.

"Sirius--"

"Shhh, Moony, please, I want...let me just..." He kissed him again, his right hand moving up Remus' bare thigh--no wonder he was so bloody cold--and over his pants, and Remus gasped into his mouth. Encouraged, he slipped his hand under the waistband, his fingers gently stroking up and down over Remus' cock. Remus gasped again, stifling a moan, and he broke off the kiss, pulling Remus back against his chest with his left hand, and nuzzled at his neck.

"Moony," he whispered, as Remus dropped his head back against Sirius' shoulder, his breaths quickening as Sirius wrapped his fingers around Remus' cock and stroked him. He could feel his own erection, hard against the zip of his jeans, but he ignored the urgency, focusing on Remus; on Remus' cock, so warm and smooth and hard...in his hand. Oh, god, Moony...

He nuzzled Remus' temple with his nose, kissing him softly. "Oh," he whispered as he felt Remus' hips moving, short bucking thrusts against his hand, "that's it, Moony, come for me."

Remus was breathing heavily, his eyes closed, fingers digging into Sirius' thighs. He gasped and shook, and spilled over Sirius' hand.

Sirius kissed his temple again, skin and hair damp with perspiration, and slowly eased his hand from Remus' pants, wiping his hand on the grass. He could feel Remus' heart pounding beneath the hand still splayed across his chest, and he leaned his head back against the rock and smiled, feeling a bit dazed. "I can't believe you let me."

Remus stirred and sat up, getting slowly to his feet. He didn't look at Sirius, and instead stared out over the lake and shuffled his feet. "Right, um. I think I should...I mean."

"Moony?" he said, dread washing over him.

"I should go."

"That's all you have to say?"

"What did you want to hear? That I let you because I've fancied you for two years now? That most of the shite Snape says is actually true, and that's why it bothers me so much? I don't want your bloody pity, Sirius."

"You think that was pity?" Sirius asked, sitting up on his knees, his heart pounding in his chest.

"I...I don't know what I think. Someone like you isn't going to fancy someone like, well, me. What else would it be?"

Sirius stared at him, dumbfounded and really bloody angry. "What else? I...Fuck you, Remus! If you really think..." He clenched his fists. "Just fuck the hell off!"

He transformed and ran, barely paying attention to where he was running off to. He could smell Remus all over his front paw and it was driving him mad. Part of him was blind with rage, and the other wanted to flop down on the ground and weep. But dogs didn't cry, not with tears, and so he ran; back to the castle and behind it, around the greenhouses, ignoring the sweet-smelling vegetable patch, and plunging straight into the forest. He ran until he was too tired to think.

*

Remus was waiting for him in the common room when he staggered in, hours later. He was dirt smeared, with scratches on his face and arms, and he reeked of sweat and mud and pine, and wet dog. All he wanted to do was sleep; he didn't think he had the energy to deal with anything else right now, and definitely not a lecture from Remus. He didn't even want to look at him.

He shuffled toward the stairs, and Remus stepped in front of him.

"Please, Moony. For fuck's sake, not now. I--"

"You are the greatest bloody git ever. Even more than me, just so you know." He stepped forward, reached out his hand to gently touch Sirius' jaw, and kissed him.

"Come up to bed, Padfoot," Remus whispered.

Remus put his arm around Sirius' shoulder, and he leaned gratefully against Remus' side, and together, the two of them climbed the stairs up to the dormitory.

~*~

Now, that night had turned out much better, though he could have done without the additional exercise.

He opened his eyes at the sound of the door clicking shut, followed by soft footsteps on the stone floor. The curtain beside the bed fluttered, whooshed open and closed, and a dark shadow climbed into bed, tugging on the blankets as it burrowed and nestled up against him.

"Tch! Your feet are bloody cold! Where were you? Iceland?"

Remus chuckled and rubbed his cold feet against Sirius' bare calf. "Mmm, you're nice and warm. Not quite that far. Sorry if I woke you."

"Bloody ice-blocks. And no, I was awake already." He turned over onto his side, facing Remus who was little more than a black blob.

"Mmm. Anything wrong?"

"Nah, was just thinking, is all." He reached out his hand and cupped Remus' chin, accidentally poking him in the nose first. "Sorry," he said, chuckling softly. "C'mere."

Remus inched his head forward on the pillow until their noses were touching. "Oooh. Naughty thoughts? Good ones, I hope," he whispered.

"Mmmm, the best," Sirius replied, and kissed him.

~fin~