The Blind Date

At 6:00 a.m. that morning Oliver appeared at the door of his flat, dressed in a T-shirt and a pair of black Muggletrack pants.

"Hullo!" Oliver said brightly.

"Um...good morning, Oliver." Percy, still in his pajamas and robe, blinked at him quizzically. "I know I agreed to do 'fun things' with you today, but I haven't even finished breakfast. What are you wearing?"

"Come on, I thought we'd go for an early morning run." This said with a level of enthusiasm far too high for something so evil. The man practically bounced up and down.

"Pardon?" Percy began to wonder just what he had gotten himself into.

"You know, running? Kind of like walking only faster? Surely you've heard of it." This followed by a coaxing smile.

"But you said were going to do fun things today. Fun things. Not- not running."

"But Percy..."

"Look, I hate running- no. No. There is no way- no way- I am going to-" For some reason, Percy's articulate reasoning did nothing to affect the hopeful, come-on-you-know-you-want-to expression on Oliver's face, complete with earnest brown eyes and a slightly quirked smile. Oh don't look at me like that, Percy thought. You know it's not fair. Not fair, but working, he grumbled internally. "I- I don't have anything to wear," Percy said.

"I was prepared for that. You can borrow some of my stuff. Here." Then Oliver shoved a crumpled-up pile of clothes at him. Percy stared at them suspiciously.

"Are these clean?"

"Geez, Percy, just go. It will be fun."

"But- I..."

Then Oliver smiled at him again.

And somehow, despite all his efforts to the contrary, Percy now found himself puffing through Fignut Park at 6:30 on a Saturday when he could have been enjoying a cup of coffee and the morning paper, or, better yet, reorganizing his file folders.

"Oliver..." Percy gasped. "How...on earth...did you get me...to agree...to this?"

"It's good for you," Oliver replied, increasing his pace. "When was the last time you worked out anyway?"

"I don't... remember," he wheezed out, trailing behind Oliver. It was impossible to remember anything when he felt as though he was going to fall over, hit the pavement and die any second now.

"Isn't the park beautiful at this time of day?" Oliver looked around the landscape with a reverent smile. "There are barely any people..."

Because only you are barking mad enough to go running- running!-at this hour, Percy thought. He was beginning to feel his heart pounding in his ears- surely that wasn't healthy? Percy plodded weakly behind Oliver, who, complete pratthat he was, had barely broken a sweat.

Oliver, who looked really good in those pants.

Percy nearly tripped as the thought registered. Well. Obviously, all the exercise must be affecting his mind.

"It's so peaceful. Just us and the birds, Percy, us and the birds." As Oliver continued to wax eloquent on the glories of an early morning run, Percy tried to keep up, focusing firmly on nothing but keeping his legs moving. He wasn't going to let the running beat him. No. He wasn't.

But Percy could feel his face turning bright red, and he hated that- still, he wasn't.

But he was sweating, and he hated that even more- but no. No. Keep going. And don't look at Oliver.

But his legs were going to collapse. And his side was screaming in pain. And he couldn't breathe. Oh, screw it.

"Oliver. Wait...have...to stop. Am dying." Percy panted, slowing down and stumbling over to grab weakly for a lamppost on the side of the path. He paused there, breathing heavily, resting his forehead on the cool metal surface.

Oliver didn't notice. "Isn't this nice, Percy?" he asked cheerfully as he ran ahead. "I told you this would be fun...Percy?"

*~*~*~*

"I hate you."

"Oh, it wasn't that bad," Oliver said from the floor. He was stretching.

Percy didn't reply- his death glare said more than enough.

Percy was now stretched out on his sofa, immobile- still in Oliver's exercise clothes, still beet red, and nursing glass of water. His hair was mussed. Percy would have fixed it, but his arm felt as though it was made of lead. Suddenly Oliver's head began popping up into Percy's peripheral vision. Up. Down.

The man was doing sit ups. Bloody sit ups.

"You should be proud of yourself-" Up. "You jogged a whole mile." Down.

Percy took a sip of water, then resumed glaring.

People who were still able to move like that after practically running a marathon should really just die collectively.

"Once you get into it-" Up. "Running is actually very energizing." Down. Bastard."Next time-"

"Oliver?" The head poked up again.

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

Oliver continued in silence.

*~*~*~*

"Where on earth are we?" Percy looked around at the crowds of kids and teenagers and strange, noisy, Muggle machines.

"Zip's Arcade," Oliver said.

"Zip's what?" Percy frowned and picked at his shirt. The Muggle clothes Oliver had lent him didn't quite fit.

"Arcade. It's a place that has video games and things like that."

"What games?"

Oliver sighed. "They're just Muggle games, only they're played on a screen with controls and..." From the expression on Percy's face, he clearly didn't get it.

"Here, I'll show you." Oliver steered Percy over to one of the large screen box things.

"Super Karate Doom 3?" Percy frowned.

"You try it." Oliver put a token in and stepped aside. "See you're the guy on the right, and you're fighting the guy in the blue on the left. The controls move you around and the buttons make you do stuff."

"Ah." Percy poked the joystick hesitantly. His person moved forward. "Hey!" Percy jumped. "That guy kicked me!" he said to Oliver, pointing at the machine.

"Yeah, he's supposed to."

"But I didn't do anything to him." Percy was looking disgruntled again.

"The whole point of the game is that-"

"But why would he do that? Wait- he did it again! Oh, and he threw me to the ground!" Percy looked so put out that Oliver nearly burst out laughing. Only Percy would take a video game so personally.

After Percy had gotten his virtual arse kicked, he shook his head disapprovingly at the character in blue. "Have you considered therapy for your anger management issues?" Percy asked him, frowning.

People were starting to look at them strangely.

"Let's try something simpler," Oliver said, jerking Percy away from the game. Oliver wove through the arcade, Percy following. "My grandmother came from a Mugglefamily," Oliver said over his shoulder. "I used to visit her every summer when I was little and she would always take me here. She was a bit of a legend among the kids- beat practically every game in the place at the age of 70." Oliver shook his head fondly. "Her favorite game, though, was this one." Oliver stopped in front of a line skeeball games.

"Skeeball?" Percy smiled, raising an eyebrow at the sign flashing above the game.

"Yeah. The rules are pretty easy. You put a token in and these balls come down." Oliver demonstrated. "Then you just roll the balls up this ramp and it'll land in one of the rings. The closer to the center and the more points you get." Oliver played through one game.

"I see." Percy considered this. "Wouldn't it be easier just the levitate the balls all into the center hole?"

"Percy, that's not the point." Oliver muttered something Percy didn't quite catch. It sounded almost like "What am I going to do with you?"

"Ah."

"Why do I get the feeling you're being deliberately obtuse?"

"I don't know." Percy blinked innocently.

"Anyway, why don't we both play and see who gets a higher score? Now don't worry if you don't do to well the first time."

"I won't," said Percy.

"Besides, I may not be on the level of my Gram, but I am pretty good at this if I do say so myself." Oliver shot Percy a cocky grin.

"Really?"

"Yep."Oliver stretched as if to demonstrate this.

Percy sent a sidelong glance at his friend. "Would you...care to make it interesting?"

"Why Percival Weasley, I am shocked and appalled. No, I'm afraid I couldn't possibly be party to the corruption of such an ethical, upstanding person like yourself. Your mum would never forgive me if I-"

"Winner gets to pick what we do next."

"Deal."

They shook on it. Oliver looked far too smug for his own good.

Oliver turned back to the skeeball machine. "Are you sure? Because you know what's going to happen when I win," he said with an evil smile.

"Hmph. We'll see about that." Percy turned to his machine. "So what do I do again?"

"Here. You go first." Oliver put a token in and handed Percy a ball. Percy stepped up to the ramp. He moved to the left. Then to the right. He squinted. His tongue peeked out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrated, moving his arm back and forth.

"Percy!"

"What? I'm getting into position."

Oliver smiled to himself. He could almost smell victory on the wind. "Oh, Percy, you and I are going to have such a good time..." Oliver nearly choked in shock.

Percy had thrown his first ball. It rolled up the ramp and landed neatly in the center circle. "Oh. That's 50 points, right?"

Oliver blinked. "How did you do that?"

Percy shrugged casually.

Oliver threw his ball, and only got 30 points. He coughed. There was nothing to be alarmed about. Just a fluke, clearly.

Percy turned to Oliver, clearly puzzled. "Now, I'm still a little confused. I did just do better than you than you, right, or am I missing something?"

"Percy, shut up."

"Just checking." If he hadn't known better, Oliver would almost call Percy's grin cheeky.

"Beginner's luck, my friend. Just wait, we'll see who wins in the end."

Oliver lost.

"I want a rematch." Obviously, he was just a little rusty.

Oliver lost the second time. Worse than before.

By the third time, he was starting to get a little suspicious.

And by the fourth one, he knew something was fishy.

"You've played this before, Percy, haven't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Percy's face was practically angelic. In fact, it reminded Oliver of Fred and George.

"You have! I can tell!" Oliver gaped at him.

"I- oh, all right. When I was about 12, Dad brought home a few things his department had picked up on a raid. Some random bloke had enchanted a few Muggle games, pinball I think, and um, this one. So mum let him keep it as long as he took all the spells off it. It's still in the garage where his flying car, er, was."

Oliver huffed. "I can't believe it. 'So how do you play, Oliver?'" he mimicked, making a face. "You devious bastard."

"Oliver?"

"What?"

"Since I won, do you know what this means?" Percy smile widened at Oliver's expression.

"You get revenge on me for making you run?" he answered bitterly.

*~*~*~*

"...In 1799 scholar Vertius Bosworth finally succeeded in translating the runes on the bottom of the cauldron, producing a remarkable, indeed startling discovery: this particular cauldron is not from the Nerianperiod as originally supposed, but- from the pre-Nerianperiod."

"Ooh," said Percy, with rapt attention on the lecturer, who flicked his wand slowly to replace the image of the pre-Nerian cauldron with that of...yet another cauldron.

Oliver rolled his eyes. The most disturbing thing about the whole business was not the fact that some poor bloke had actually conceived of an hour-long lecture on "NerianCauldrons from the Mediterranean", but that there were still 45 minutes of said lecture left.

All he had done was try to give Percy one day of fun. Was it his fault that Percy didn't think that morning jogs were fun? Okay, so perhaps he should have known better, but still- this. This. This was cruel and unusual. Who knew Percy had such a twisted mind?

"It's only fair," Percy had said that evening.

"Fair! Fair doesn't include tricking people into losing bets," Oliver had responded- petulantly, because he knew Percy was right.

"But it will be very informative, I promise." Percy said that like it was a good thing.

"Great. Informative.You know, I wasn't convinced before, but you just sold me with that one."

"Well you needn't be so tetchy." Percy had stiffened and began to look downcast, in that horrible way that made Oliver feel liked he had kicked a puppy. "You don't have to go if you don't want to. It'll probably be boring for you anyway-"

"Of course I'm going," Oliver sighed. "And I think attending a lecture on Nerphibean-"

"Nerian."

"Whatever. But still, attending a lecture on rotting old cauldrons gives me the right to be a little techty."

"Great! Very few people realize how much ancient cauldron styles can tell us about classic civilizations. I didn't, myself, until-"

"Percy?"

"What?"

"I...oh, nevermind."

And now he was listening to a lecture on cauldrons, which was all Percy's fault, and the damned uncomfortable chair in the lecture room was making his back spasm, which was somehow Percy's fault too. And the only good part about the whole thing was Percy's expression as he listened to the lecture, eyes shining, sitting straight up in his chair, lower lip bitten. How anyone could manage to look not only interested but completely endearing during a lecture on glorified chamber pots was-

Oliver cleared his throat. He shifted in his seat and tried to figure out how in the world he could have possibly lost at skeeball. It didn't make sense.

Then the random old bloke, whose voice reminded Oliver of the dull throb of a muted jackhammer, began talking about the fifth cauldron of the evening.

Sweet Merlin. Save me.

*~*~*~*

Oliver awoke 20 minutes later to find 5 pairs of eyes staring at him- the random old bloke's, Percy's, and the other three people who were attending the lecture voluntarily (obviously nutters). They were all gazing at him with different degrees of irritation. He felt just as though he was back at Hogwarts and had been caught sleeping in class.

"Heh." Oliver straightened and tried very hard to look as though he'd been paying attention.

No one spoke.

"So, Nerphibeous cauldrons, eh?"

Evidently not the right thing to say.

The old bloke sputtered indignantly. A brown-haired woman in the front row looked down her nose at Oliver before turning around as though, on second thought, he wasn't even worth looking at. Oliver turned to Percy, expecting a similar reaction.

But he didn't find it. Instead Oliver was pleased to see Percy's rather familiar I-am-trying-to-disapprove-but-I-actually-think-this-is-funny expression. After a moment, the old bloke began droning again.

Percy shook his head and turned to the front, trying to control his smile. The lecture continued.

"You were snoring," Percy admonished in a whisper.

"Pfft. I don't snore," Oliver said.

"Very loudly."Percy mouth twitched again.

"I don't snore." Lies, clearly.

"Yes you do."

"Don't."

"Oliver, I roomed with you for seven years. I had History of Magic with you. Believe me, you snore."

"No."

"Why don't you ask the lecturer? He heard you."

"His opinion would undoubtedly be biased. I kind of get the feeling he doesn't like me."

"You-."

"Gentlemen."Oliver turned back to the front, where the random old bloke was looking peeved again.

"If you wouldn't mind, gentlemen?" the pompous old goat asked, voice dripping condescension. "I would like to continue in peace." He gestured pointedly toward the exit. Percy turned scarlet.

Oliver stood up. "Thank you, sir, for a most enjoyable evening," he said with a flourish. "I haven't had such a refreshing sleep in weeks." He pulled Percy out the door.

*~*~*~*

They had no sooner left the lecture hall of the Alfred. P. Norland Magical History Museum and out on the stairs when Percy stopped in a huff. "I can't believe you just got us thrown out!"

"I did? Hey, you were the one who said I snored. I had to defend myself."

Percy sighed. "Do you realize that Mr. Lewis-"

"Oh, is that his name? He looks more like a Mr. I'm-such-a-yawn-I-even-put-myself-to-sleep."

"Oliver, He is the world's foremost authority on Mediterranean archaeology! He's-"

"Got a stick up his arse?"

"No! He-"

"Hey! Oliver!" The pair quieted as a petite blonde girl came running up the steps. "What are you doing here?" she asked bluntly.

"Hi, Ellen.And what do you mean, what am I doing here?" Oliver looked offended. "What are you doing here?" he muttered.

"I have a date with Allen" she said. She jerked her thumb over her shoulder, where a man in a black coat waited. "Who are you?" she asked Percy.

"Percy Weasley. Nice to meet you." Percy offered his hand.

"Likewise.Ellen Fitzgerald." Ellen shook it.

"Percy, Ellen is Puddlemere's seeker."

"That's me. So, Oliver, what brings you to the Museum of Magical History?"

"He was attending a lecture on Nerian cauldrons of the Mediterraneanwith me," said Percy.

"Was he?" Ellen raised an eyebrow. From the look she shot him, Oliver got the feeling he was going to be teased mercilessly about this later.

"Yes. That is, until we got kicked out." Percy shot a dirty look at Oliver. "He fell asleep."

"I prefer to think of it as a piece of constructive criticism on the lecture."

Percy snorted. "Well you didn't have to snore, at any rate."

"Percy, I think you might want to get your hearing checked- it must be going in your old age, as I don't snore."

"And your mind's going- you're delusional."

"That's really funny," Ellen smiled, "but-"

"You mean I'm the victim of slander." Oliver said, clearly put upon.

"Slander- Oliver, I am sorry, I know it's very hard on you, but someday you will have to face the awful truth: you snore."

"He's right," Ellen offered helpfully. "But-"

"Well I never wanted to go to this stupid lecture anyway!" Oliver said.

"You owed me for the jogging alone," Percy shot back.

"Well this never would have happened if we had done what I wanted to do."

"Oliver. How many times do I have to tell you? I. Am. Never. Going. To. Go. To.A. Karaoke. Bar. Never. As long as I have a least one functioning brain cell." Percy crossed his arms firmly.

"Guys?"Ellen tried to get their attention.

"It would've been fun," Oliver continued.

"Ha."

"It would have!"

"Oliver, you forget that I've heard you sing."

Ooh. Oliver narrowed his eyes. "Well at least I-"

"Hey!" Ellen stepped forward. "Guys, I really have to go, so I'll just let you get back to your, um, whatever." She had a strange glint in her eyes as she looked back and forth between the two men. It was almost like she was trying not to laugh. "You must bring Percy along when we go out after the scrimmage on Monday."

"Sure," Oliver said.

"Oh," added Ellen with a smile, "and Nancy's coming, too."

Oliver groaned. "Not Nancy. She's so..." Oliver looked pained.

"I know. You'll come?" she asked Percy, who nodded. "Great! We always like to meet Oliver's...friends." Ellen went back the way she came from, her boots clicking down the steps. "See you in training!" she called over her shoulder, flashing a smile that said 'I know something you don't know'.

"What was that about?" Oliver muttered.

"I don't know." Percy shrugged.

Argument forgotten, they walked on.

*~*~*~*

Things on the Fred and George front were quiet. Too quiet.

There had been no apparent follow up on the "we have ways" comment, which made Percy nervous.

Percy hadn't heard anything from them at all. He hadn't heard from them after he had gone to one of Oliver's training sessions. Or after the trip to the Wizard amusement park- yet another of Oliver's "fun things". Or after they had gone shopping in Diagon Alley for a new self-filing file cabinet for Percy's office (Oliver had thought the neon green one with blue furry handles would brighten up his office; Percy thought not). He hadn't heard from the twins after any of the three times he and Oliver had coffee over the past week. Percy had never taken so many long lunch breaks in his life.

It was all very suspicious.

Well, perhaps their matchmaking efforts would stop soon, since it clearly hadn't worked. He and Oliver we're just friends, which was plenty novelty already, thank you very much.

*~*~*~*

"Relax Percy, there's nothing to be nervous about. They'll like you." Oliver twirled the straw around in his coke glass, clinking the ice cubes.

"What are you talking about? I am perfectly calm, thank you." Percy was sitting stiffly in his seat, sipping intermittently on a glass of water. He was obviously trying to relax, which only managed to make him look tenser.

"Hah. You're folding napkins again. Any moment now you'll have an origami swan."

Percy huffed at him. "That's ridiculous." He put the napkin down on the table. He pushed it away. "I don't even know origami," he said after a moment.

Oliver smiled. "They should be here any minute- oh wait, there's Nancy. Maybe she won't notice us," Oliver muttered, glaring at a willowy brunette on the other side of the bar. He hunched down into his seat.

"Oliver!!" Nancycalled, making her way over.

"Crap." Oliver forced a smile. "Hi Nancy."

"Hullo!" A lascivious grin spread across Nancy's face as she caught sight of Percy. "And who are you?"

"I told you he was coming, Nancy," Oliver said.

Nancyshot Oliver a look as she sat down. "I know." She turned to Percy. "So. You're Percy, right?

"Yes."

"Nancyhere is the team's reserve keeper," Oliver said.

"I'm just waiting for Oliver to kick the bucket so I can take his job," Nancysaid with a malicious grin.

"Thanks. You're a real friend," Oliver deadpanned.

"Aren't I?" Nancyturned to Percy. "Tell me, Percy, how did you and Mr. Jumped Up here become friends?" Nancy leaned forward, resting her head on her hand. Oliver frowned. Nancywas almost...leering at Percy.

Percy pulled back. "Oh. We were at school together."

"Oh!" Nancygrinned. "That's great! So you knew ol' Oliver when he was 12, didn't you?" Oliver groaned.

"Well, um, yes."

"Any horribly embarrassing stories?" Nancystared at Percy intently.

Percy looked at Oliver. "No," he said.

"Come on, Percy, you're holding out on me, aren't you?" Nancy cocked her head.

"Well...um, there was this one time in Potions where he-"

"Percy, if you have a single shred of mercy in your body, you will not finish that sentence." Oliver looked pleadingly over at Percy. He shot a murderous glance at Nancy.

Percy shrugged, and didn't say anything more. "Don't worry about it," Nancysaid, patting Percy's hand, "you can tell me later. So what do you do, Percy?" Nancymoved her chair right next to Percy's and smiled at him again. Oliver frowned. It was like she was chatting him up or something- which was just wrong.

"I work for the Ministry." Percy inched his chair away.

"That's just fascinating," Nancybreathed, scooting closer. Oliver rolled his eyes. Could she be any more obvious?

"You think so?" Percy voice was definitely higher then normal.

"Oh, yes." The woman actually batted her eyelashes.

"Great. Heh." Percy swallowed audibly.

"You know, you're kind of cute when you're all flustered like that."

I never thought the word smarmy could apply to a girl, Oliver thought, glaring, as Nancyplaced her hand on Percy's and looked meaningfully at him. Percy's eyes widened almost comically.

"Um...excuse me." Percy snatched his hand away. "I, um, have to go to...the loo, right." He practically bolted from his seat.

When he was gone, Nancyturned to find Oliver glowering at her. "What?"

"You didn't have to- why do you always do that?" Oliver exclaimed.

"Oh, come on, he's cute."

"Hands off," Oliver bit out.

"Why do you care?"

"Because it's embarrassing! Besides, you're never going to get anywhere with Percy. He's gay." Ha, Oliver thought. And ha again.

"I see." From the look on her face, Nancywas not deterred in the slightest. In fact, she probably saw it as a challenge.

"Nancy, just don't-"

Before Oliver could properly warn her off, Ellen arrived. "Oliver! Did you bring Percy?"

"He's in the bathroom,' Oliver said, with a venomous glance at Nancy.

"Oh." Ellen sat down. "Well, what have you been up to lately?" she asked.

"Nothing much," Oliver shrugged.

"You don't have a new boyfriend or anything, right?" Ellen asked, a strange expression on her face.

"No." Oliver shook his head.

"You mean all of Nancy's attempts to set you up didn't take? There's a shocker," said Ellen sarcastically.

"Hey, they were all perfectly nice guys!" Nancy protested, glaring at Ellen.

"Oh, yeah, Gary, the bloke who was going to become an internationally renowned pop idol playing the accordion, he was a real catch," Oliver said, grimacing.

"A prince among men," Ellen said, smirking. Oliver smiled at her.

And as the Nancy and Ellen began talking cattily about other things, Oliver twirled the straw in his drink again and looked toward the loo. What was taking Percy so long? Bloody Nancy.

"Hello? Earth to Oliver?" Oh. They were staring at him.

"What?" Oliver asked.

"She just asked you who exactly this Percy guy was," Nancy said.

"Three times," Ellen put in.

"Sorry. Um, his name is Percy, we were at school together, and he's-"

"Really cute."Nancy grinned.

"Shut it, Nancy. He's..."

"Coming this way?" Nancysaid again.

"No- oh. Hi Percy."

"Hi." Percy was standing hesitantly next to the table, looking at everyone. He looked at Nancy, who patted the seat next to her. Percy sat down on the other side of Oliver, next to Ellen. Ha.

"Hey Percy, you remember Ellen, from a week back?"

"Yes." Percy smiled slightly.

"Hey, where is everyone else, anyway?" Oliver asked.

"Last I saw Brad he was trying to get a date from the mediwitch who fixed his nose after that bludger got him today," Ellen said, making a face.

"And what are Mark and Lisa doing?" Oliver asked.

"Each other," Nancysaid, snorting. Ellen whacked her on the shoulder.

"They had another fight," said Ellen, which was explanation enough.

"See Mark and Lisa have been dating for three years. They fight and, ah, make up all the time." Oliver explained to Percy.

"I see."

"Hey hey," said Nancy, wiggling her eyebrows. Ellen whacked her on the shoulder again.

"You'll have to forgive her," Ellen said to Percy. "We think she was dropped on her head as a baby."

"Oh shut up, hag," Nancysnapped.

Ellen rolled her eyes and the pair of them were off on an argument.

"Oliver," Percy said quietly after a while.

"What?" Oliver turned to him.

"Your mates kind of remind me of my family." Percy said to Oliver. They smiled at each other as Nancythrew a complimentary peanut at Ellen.

And Oliver was in a good mood until Nancy and Ellen stopped sniping at each other. Then Nancy turned her full attention to Percy and coyly said, "I've always had a weakness for redheads. What's your sign?"

*~*~*~*

Why was everyone hitting on Percy?

First Nancy, and now Oliver was sure their waiter was making eyes at him too. The way he said, "Just another water, sir?" made Oliver's fists clench.

Bastards.

He went to order a whiskey at the bar.

*~*~*~*

An hour later,and Nancy was still at it. She kept encouraging Percy to join into the conversation, which would have been fine if everything that came out of her mouth wasn't dripping with sexual innuendo.

Naturally Percy wasn't interested, but still...Percy did have girlfriend back at Hogwarts. Not that Oliver had liked Penny much.

"So, Percy tellme more about what you do," Nancywas purring.

As Percy answered Oliver sulked; then he took a sip of whiskey and nearly choked on it.

"Nancy," Oliver growled.

"What?" Nancyasked innocently.

"That's my leg. Not his." Bloody Nancy.

"Sorry." Nancysaid as she slid her foot back down his pants, though she didn't look at all apologetic. He noted, with much satisfaction, that Percy had hastily pulled his chair away from the table.

Still, it made Oliver want to wring her neck. Nancy had always been the type to go after just about anything with a Y chromosome, but it had never bothered him before. It was just that...what?

It was just that he was used to having Percy all to himself. As a friend, of course.No one else was supposed to notice his dry sense of humor, or the way his hair looked in a certain light, or the way his entire face transformed when he smiled, or the way- oh. Wait-

"Oliver?"

"What?" Oliver jerked his head toward Percy, eyes wide.

"Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm fine. Great. Fine." What the hell was the matter with him? Oliver shook his head.

"You just had an odd look on your face," Percy said, puzzlement putting a tiny adorable crinkle between his eyebrows. Adorable? Wait-

"I'm fine. Fine," he assured Percy hastily. He was fine. Yes. Oliver took another sip of whiskey and tried to forget about it.

Bloody Nancy. It was all her fault.

*~*~*~*

Over an hour later Nancylaughed so hard that her Rum and Coke nearly gushed out her nose.

"I think it's time to leave," said Ellen, turning from her conversation with Percy. They had been talking for a while, as the sobriety of their companions evaporated, since neither drank much.

"Why? We're having fun. Aren't we Brad?" Nancy started giggling again for no apparent reason. Brad had finally turned up half an hour ago, already drunk, after an apparently disastrous date with the mediwitch.

"Because when you actually start laughing at one of Brad's 'a blonde, a priest, and a donkey walk into a bar' jokes you're too pissed to apparate."

"Hey! That one's funny." Brad glared fuzzily at Ellen. Or rather, a space halfway between her and Percy.

"Sure, Brad. And I'm Merlin's ghost. You too. Let's go. I'll summon the Knight Bus." Ellen stood up and hoisted Brad and Nancy from their seats. "Hey Percy, you'll see Oliver home, right? You know he lives just a few blocks form here, right?"

"Oh. Of course.Bye Ellen."

"Goodbye Percy. We'll have to talk more."

"Mm-hmm."Percy turned his head to the left. Oliver was still asleep on his shoulder.

Oliver had passed out a little while ago. After his seventh shot of whiskey he had mumbled something incoherent and irritable and had just slumped over. Percy could have moved him, but he hadn't. It was rather comfortable, after all, and Percy rather hated to wake him- it was something about the he looked asleep- almost like a hyperactive little boy who had worn himself out.

"Oliver." Percy gently shook him.

With a sharp intake of breath, Oliver sat up. "Wha- what is it? Oh. Sorry about that, Percy."

"No, don't worry. I didn't mind." Which was true.

"Nancy's gone," Oliver observed.

"Yes. She left with Brad and Ellen."

"Ha," said Oliver triumphantly. He really didn't make sense sometimes.

Oliver was still pretty pissed when they reached his flat. Percy opened the door and helped the teetering Quidditch player into bed. "Are you going to be all right?" Percy asked, pulling off his shoes. He placed them very neatly by Oliver's nightstand.

"Oh, fine." Oliver said. Percy pulled up the bed covers and couldn't stop himself from smoothing them a little.

A warm hand wrapped around Percy's wrist. His breath caught.

"Percy?"

"Yes." Percy was suddenly a lot closer to Oliver than he thought he'd been.

"Thank you," Oliver said softly, smiling that loopy smile at him. The hand slipped from Percy's wrist as Oliver's eyes fluttered shut.

Percy stared at him for a moment, as though searching for an answer to a question he didn't even know. Oliver's brown hair had fallen over his forehead. Percy brushed it away with an absent smile and stepped back. He had reached the door to Oliver's room when he was stopped by a blurry voice. "Percy!"

"Did you have a good time?" Oliver asked blearily, sitting up.

"Yes. I did." Which was true again, to Percy's surprise. "Your friends are great. Though I think I like Ellen the best."

"You would." Oliver smiled and Percy turned to go again. Oliver seemed to think of something else then, as a scowl came across his face. "Percy!" The redhead stopped once more. "Not Nancy, though? I mean, you didn't like Nancy, did you?"

"Of course not!I mean she's okay...but I don't...you know I don't..."

"Good," Oliver murmured, and the scowl went away.

"Why?" Percy asked.

"Why? Well- because you're...well, my- and she's just- and...I don't know. 'Cause," Oliver ended petulantly.

After watching Oliver for a moment, Percy shook his head. "I think you need to sleep this off."

"Fine."Oliver sat back on his pillows. Behind him, Percy heard a mumbled, "No. It's not fine."

"Percy!" And when Percy turned around for the third time, he saw a strange expression on Oliver's face.

"What is it now?" Percy asked.

"Come here."

"Oliver- what's wrong? I really think you've had too much to drink," Percy said hesitantly, taking a few steps toward Oliver's bed.

"Come here," Oliver said again, and though his eyes were fuzzy from the alcohol, Percy could see something sharply clear in them that made his pulse accelerate.

Percy knelt by the side of the bed. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

"Percy...don'tgo-" And Oliver kissed him.

The feel of Oliver's lips and the taste of whiskey and the smell of his cologne and that sound from the back Oliver's throat were so heady and overwhelming that Percy couldn't move. He was still frozen in shock when Oliver stopped and fell back onto his bed and closed his eyes with a sleepy sigh. Percy was absolutely still though his entire body was humming. In fact, he only managed to stand up moments later when Oliver had begun snoring.

"I told you that you snored," Percy said tonelessly. He straightened his clothes. He composed his face. He turned and walked quickly to the door of Oliver's flat, the picture of calm, even if his mind was not.

He probably won't remember this at all in the morning- that was the only thought that came forth from the clamor of conflicting thoughts and feelings that gripped him.

Was that a good thing or a bad thing? He didn't know. It didn't make sense.

Oliver was drunk, right?

But then why...?

And it had been...

It didn't make any sense at all.

He closed the door to Oliver's flat and had sagged against it for a minute, forcing himself to take slow, calming breaths of air. He struggled to get his mind (and heart rate) into some kind of order.

Still, one thought pounded over and over in his head. What was he going to do about this?

Percy pushed himself off the door and managed to find his way back to his flat, though later he didn't remember how. By the time he reached his front door, Percy had made a decision.

He would just have to forget all about it.

"It never happened," Percy muttered.

Percy spent the rest of the evening, as he got ready for bed, trying to convince himself- but it was awfully hard when his lower lip still tasted faintly of whiskey.

Across the street from Oliver's flat, in the bushes, two heads looked into one pair of omniculars. They watched Percy's face as he paused outside Oliver's flat. They watched his dazed expression as he made his way vaguely home. They watched as a man in a bowler hat went walking his dog late a night.

"Oh, he turned a corner," Fred muttered. "But did you see that?" he whispered gleefully, before looking around and stepping stealthily out of the bushes. He slipped on his sunglasses.

"I most certainly did," George said, following him just as stealthily.

"Is it time now, George, do you reckon?"

"My dear brother," George replied, clapping him on the back, "it most certainly is."

Oliver Wood would never know what hit him.