Hidden Inside

"We're dead."

"Very dead. No hope."

"That does it, I tell you. It's over."

"Completely dead."

"Deader than dead."

Lily gave a surprised look at her gloomy group of friends. If she hadn't been so bewildered, she would have laughed. The whole lot of them sauntered down the hall with the same enthusiasm as a team of grave diggers.

"How are we dead? Just because James can't play in the next game - "

"He's not only not playing, Lily," Sarah Hynnes wailed dramatically. "He's being replaced by Warren."

"What's wrong with Warren?"

Marie, one of the other girls yelped with incredulity.

"What's wrong with Warren?" she exclaimed. "If we could get a Quidditch player stumbling around with his bloody eyes closed, I'd pick him over Warren."

Lily finally laughed. "He's not that bad. Besides, James is only a seeker. Seekers don't control the game that much, so how badly can it go? And even if we were to lose, it wouldn't be by that terribly much."

Sarah closed her eyes in disbelief.

"Honestly, Lily, you're with James every day and I still need to inform you about him. He's the Quidditch captain. Who puts the team together? The captain. Who supports the team from the very core? The captain. And - no, Lily, I know you're going to argue that he already went over the game plan ages ago, but this is not about the game plan. They need him during the game, do you understand me? Can you name anyone else on the team with the same leadership qualities as James?"

Lily actually paused to consider as the other girls grumbled in agreement. No, she realized. Not really. Though, Lily often liked to classify James' "leadership qualities" as crude bossiness. Her confidence remained stable. But the other girls had obviously never begun with confidence any sturdier than a paper doll.

"Like I said, we're doomed."

"And we never lost a game in a long time, either."

"Exactly. There goes our grand streak."

"What a shame."

Lily sighed. "Will you girls stop! Trust me, we're going to be fine - "

They had just entered the Great Hall when a flurry of Ravenclaw girls nearly toppled them over. The sight of the contrast in mood between her Gryffindor friends and the Ravenclaw girls was enough to quell the ferocious appetite she had for breakfast for a month. They looked as though each had been kissed by both Thomas Foley and Sirius Black, the dream of nearly every single Hogwarts girl.

"Oh, stop." Sarah pouted, eyeing the gleeful Ravenclaws. "Don't even start gloating, we know how hopeless we are."

With that, Sarah and the other Gryffindor girls moodily shrank away to sit at the mourning Gryffindor table.

Abigail Bartleby, prominent among the Ravenclaw group by her loud voice and the fact that her father was among the Wizengamot, was the first to speak.

"Excuse me for this," she said. "But this is going to be the first Ravenclaw victory for decades. I think we should be allowed some degree of smugness."

Lily sighed exasperatedly. "You never know, Abigail. And it's best if you don't get too cocky, the game hasn't even happened yet."

"Why?" The face of another Ravenclaw girl popped out from within the dense crowd to challenge Lily. "Worried that your worst nightmare might actually come true?"

Lily rolled her eyes mentally. "Ha ha ha. Really, it's only one change of a player. I honestly don't know why everyone's fussing over it so much."

Abigail and the rest of the girls trailed behind her toward the Gryffindor table like a multi-headed shadow. Behind her, she heard them whisper amongst themselves like conspirators. Lily sat down and glanced back at them, stifling a laugh of ridicule.

"And despite seeing your faces so early in the morning, I actually would like to eat breakfast, so can you spare your verbal celebration for later?"

"Lily..." Abigail twirled a lock of hair, eyeing her with a foreboding scrutiny. "How sure are you about the outcome of this match?"

The Gryffindor twisted in her chair and rose her eyebrows at her interrogator.

"How sure? Sure enough to know that you are much too confident for your own good." She smiled. "Sorry to disappoint you, but Gryffindor has no less chance of winning the next game as Hagrid does of taking in a baby dragon as a pet."

Lily noticed their blank faces. "Which is very possible," she confirmed.

There was a strange glint in Abigail's eyes.

"Really, now? Are you willing to stake your life on that?"

Lily sighed. "As long as the Gryffindor team walks onto the field un-injured, un-jinxed, in their proper minds and perfectly human forms, then yes."

"Come here." Abigail took Lily's wrist and rushed out toward the entrance doors. A burst of excitement seemed to swell in her. Lily stumbled, confusion and slight curiosity allowing her to be steered out the Great Hall.

"Abigail, what -"

"Wait, just be quiet Lily. Listen to me."

They had stopped just outside the buzzing of the Great Hall where all five of them panted.

"Abby," gasped a tall girl.... "Don't tell me you're going to --"

"Hush."

Abigail rounded slowly on Lily, wearing a smile almost identical to the ones of the girls behind her. Uh-oh. She could only guess that they had planned something beforehand. And something told Lily that they weren't planning a Gryffindor victory parade.

"Boys do this all the time, " Abigail began. "I've seen them losing or gaining great stacks of galleons after a game. So I thought, why don't we girls have a little bit of fun too? Since we're both so sure that we're right about the outcome of the match, why don't we make this just a little more exciting? Why don't we have a bet?"

Lily eyed the gaggle of girls before her warily.

"What sort of bet?"

They continued to grin in unison.

"With money?" She asked because she that it wasn't the answer.

Abigail shook her head. "No, not with money. Money makes the bet rather boring. More with...with our pride."

Lily blinked. "What?"

"We'll do favors. If Ravenclaw loses, you can tell me to do anything you want. If Gryffindor loses, we tell you what we want you to do. But we don't decide on the terms yet. We'll come up with it later. But it can range over anything. As long as it doesn't physically hurt or kill the person." She said this so casually that Lily was tempted to laugh.

"Why not," she replied coolly. "Should we shake on it or something equally as stupid?" Lily held out her hand. Abigail took it solemnly. Lily felt a burning then rapidly cooling sensation in her palm.

"And we can't tell anybody else," Abigail said quickly. "You know that gambles like these are forbidden in Hogwarts rules. The teachers think they're trying to prevent us from developing bad habits in the future."

Everyone, including Lily rolled their eyes. All of Hogwarts knew of Mundungus Fletcher and the crowd that he ran with. He conducted one of his illegal deals at least once a week.

"It's a wizard's contract," Abigail added. "In case you get any ideas of backing out..."

They released hands. "...so that there's no escape."

~

Aw, great.

How could she have forgotten her bag? She just bought a great stack of books to notice she didn't have anywhere to put them. Lily glanced out the streets of Hogsmeade. She must have left it at the Three Broomsticks. And it was miles away. Not to mention slightly uphill. How lucky.

It was just one quick trip to the Three Broomsticks. She'd try to make it as painless as possible. Lily adjusted her arms to where she felt most comfortable carrying the books. Already, they seemed to stretch her muscles to breaking point. Lily darted ungracefully up the cobblestone. She realized a bag would not even relieve the effort against the weight. She would need a bloody tow truck. She should have just refused to buy the extra books for her friends, who decided not to visit Hogsmeade this weekend. Lily let out a few unlady-like huffs as she felt her legs begin to harden into lead. She was often told she was "too nice". She was also often told with warning that people liked to take advantage of her for that. I am being too nice, she thought as she quickened her pace. And it's damn painful.

Lily collided into someone in her blind race toward her destination. And it wasn't pretty. Books flew and scattered in a loud ruffle of pages. With a small cry, Lily landed very painfully on the ground.

"Excuse me," she felt herself saying, despite the frustration she felt. The road was still damp from the rain the day before, and the water soaked through the pages of the books. Lily hurriedly gathered them.

"Perhaps it would help if you walked with your eyes open once in a while, Mudblood."

Lily's eyes shot up to the culprit. Severus Snape stood over her, not even bothering to help. He walked around the fallen books and continued on his way.

You, unbelievable -- Lily abandoned her books and trudged after him. "Excuse me." He did not take the slightest note of her presence. "Excuse me!"

Finally, Snape turned to face her with an inquisitive look on his face. Lily stood her ground.

"Don't call me a Mudblood. It's downright disrespectful. I prefer to be called Lily Evans."

No response.

"So I'd appreciate it if you called me Lily Evans," she continued lamely.

Snape gave her the look one would give a grimy puddle of mud. Lily found this attempt at communication finally useless and turned on her heel. What on earth gave her an ounce of sympathy for him, even once? What a GIT. She could find no better word for him.

During potions the next day, she asked to switch seats with her partner Mitchell Mallard in order to avoid sitting next to the despicable creature.

In the library, she took one look at him in the "Dark Arts" section before she disappeared behind "Herbology".

And in the middle of a long-winded discussion (of predictions of a James-less Quidditch match) between the James and his cronies, Lily sprang from her spot under the beech tree and headed indoors when she saw the pale boy cross to her side of the lake.

Lily knew she was being stupid and childish, but she didn't care. She just wanted to keep the biggest distance from him as possible. As long as she had less of a chance of talking or interacting with Snape in any way whatsoever, she was happy. And she hoped it would stay that way. More than that, she hoped that he would no longer be part of her life

~

Judgment day.

Lily walked with the others to the stadium to find good seats before they were all taken. Every so often she turned around and looked for the Ravenclaw girls, ducking in case they saw her. James and Sirius continued talking about what could happen during the game while Remus was rolling his eyes at their inflated conversations. It seemed that James had mostly recovered from the shock and laments of his current suspension from the game and had switched to his usual mode of cynical hubris.

"Well, it's not like they're totally useless without me -" said James airily, unsuccessfully hiding a monstrous grin.

"Of course not, they're just mostly useless," Sirius cut in laughing.

"But if Gryffindor loses this game, then it might be out of the running for the cup!" interjected Peter, worried for the state of his house.

"Oh please Wormtail," replied James unconcernedly, "We have the rest of the year to make it up. Actually, I can probably make up the loss in just one game."

Remus and Lily exchanged knowing glances as the tirade continued, the issue now being if he was Seeker, whether Sirius could make it up faster than James could. But now, while James could make up the loss in the next game, Lily could not redeem herself after this Gryffindor downfall. Not knowing the terms of the bet made it very difficult for her to have Gryffindor lose. After all, Merlin forbid, she did not want to spend the rest of the year doing Abigail Bartleby's homework for her.

The five of them quickly took their seats in the center of the stadium, not wanting to miss any of the action. But apparently, much of the rest of the school had the same idea as well and as a result they spent a good twenty minutes arguing over where they would sit.

Lily gazed over the entirety of the stadium, her stomach churning. The crowd seemed to be rowdier than usual. Well, of course. With James as the seeker, any Gryffindor defeat was certainly a must see. In the meantime, the team marched in single file out of the changing room and into the cloudy and chilly arena. Madam Hooch placed her whistle in her mouth and blew. The balls were released and the fourteen players shot upward.

"And they're off!" said Andrew Phillis, the commentator for the game. "And Douglas takes the Quaffle immediately, Ravenclaw Captain Douglas with the Quaffle, he dodges Grant, he dodges Gaines, he dodges Sinclair as well...He's going straight for goal! He's going to shoot - and - and he's scored."

Lily was watching the game intently when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She groaned inwardly when she turned to see who it was. Abigail and her tag-along crew were perched on the bleachers right behind her.

"And it's Gaines, Gaines with the Quaffle, what legs that girl has, they make any guy have to cover the front of their - "

"Mr. Phillis, I would like to keep the commentary relevant and appropriate," warned Professor McGonagall with an air of one holding a club over his head.

"No problem, professor, my apologies -- and she's ducked Malcolm, she's passed Douglas, she's - ouch - been hit from behind by a Bludger from Lewis...Douglas catches the Quaffle, Douglas heading back up the pitch and - nice Bludger there from Arthur Taylor, that's a Bludger to the head for Douglas, he drops the Quaffle, caught by Tina Sinclair, Tina Sinclair of Gryffindor reverse passes to Robert Grant and Grant's away - "

"Excited, Evans?" Abigail asked, smiling.

"Plenty." Lily replied frostily.

"And its going, its going...!" Johnson faltered as Pickett smugly caught the Quaffle with one hand, throwing it adeptly back to a Ravenclaw Chaser. "And Pickett blocks the throw..." he continued miserably.

Lily and the Marauders groaned with the rest of the Gryffindors. The game was only progressing as such. As Sarah Hynnes predicted, it seemed that James's suspension had somehow tampered with the rest of the team's skill as well. Sure, maybe much of the team's strength was dependent upon James. But a good portion of it had to come from the players themselves as well. Lily could only surmise that the removal of their best player had played a serious blow to morale.

"Ravenclaw score!" came Andrew's voice amid the cheering and booing from the crowds below. "So that's sixty-nil to Ravenclaw..."

Lily winced as a Bludger caught Robert Grant, one of the Gryffindor Chasers, square in the stomach. And by the time Wilson, the Keeper, started falling off his broom from the blood loss, she was hiding under the bleacher seat.

"Ravenclaw in possession - Malcolm with the Quaffle - passes Grant - passes Sinclair - hit hard in the back by a Bludger, damn, I was hoping for the head --uh, that is -- he fortunately didn't drop dead - Ravenclaws score - oh no..."

"Ehhh, Abigail...about that bet..." Lily started hesitantly.

Abigail smiled shrewdly. "Evans, really...you aren't thinking about jumping out of our little wager, are you?" Lily let out a weak and strained grin. "To think that I would see the day where a Gryffindor would try to run away at the first sign of defeat..."

Lily narrowed her eyes heatedly at the pointed insult and drew her lips into a crisp line. "Of course not," she retorted derisively. "In fact, I was just going to tell you not to get too confident about victory. After all, we may just be on the break of a huge come-back." Even as she spoke though, she could feel the jaws of defeat bearing down upon them. Next to her she heard the Marauders take a collective groan, James's being the loudest.

"May being the key word of course," replied Abigail softly.

Lily turned her head back to watch the game. And as if it couldn't have gotten bad enough, it started to rain. Not just rain, but outright downpour. Oh bloody damn, Lily thought, sneezing. The score was now eighty-twenty Ravenclaw. It was a lost cause. The rain had washed away any hope Gryffindor had at all of winning the game. And less than a minute later, the stadium erupted in cheers as Thomas Foley emerged victorious with the Snitch in his hand. The girls behind Lily squealed in excitement as Foley blew kisses to them. (James and Sirius scowled at this.) Peter raised his hands to clap intermittently every now and then and Remus just sighed as he watched the forlorn Gryffindor team players walk back into the changing room. James and Sirius were looking at each other like they had known all along that Gryffindor would lose. Everyone was now running back into the castle despite the fact that they were already drenched.

Lily had barely entered the castle for more than a second when she saw Abigail waiting for her. She waved off the guys, who dejectedly dragged themselves up the stairs towards the Gryffindor common room. Remus attempted to stay and wait for her but she beckoned him on. He followed after the rest and Lily turned towards the Ravenclaw girls.

"I'll refrain from saying 'I told you so'" Abigail said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Please do." Lily replied curtly. She was trembling from the cold and she really wanted to go to her room to dry herself off.

"C'mon Lily, you would feel the same way if you were in our position." Abigail said rather cheerily.

Lily sighed tiredly. She really, really, should not have agreed to this but she had to agree that was true. "All right, I'd rather hear it and just get it over with.

Abigail smiled deviously as the other girls giggled. She took Lily aside to a corner and silently pointed to a group of shivering Slytherin boys returning to the castle, in particular to a teenager with a pallid face and hooked nose.

Lily raised her eyebrows in confusion. Huh?

"Let's just say...would you happen to have any attraction for a certain Severus Snape?"