London Rain

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I'm coming, I'm coming home to you.
I'm alive; I'm a mess.
I can't wait to get home to you,
To get warm, warm and undressed.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Innocent. He was innocent. And now the two people he loved most in the world knew it as well. Sirius Black wasn't sure how he convinced Harry he wasn't guilty of the crimes imprisoned for; the events of the previous night seemed hazy now, almost surreal. He knew, however, that he owed most of it to Remus Lupin. His best friend--and lover--had helped him explain things to Harry. Sirius was sure he never would have made it through that night if Remus hadn't been there, giving his support.

Sirius' heart swelled with love--a thing that hadn't happened in twelve years--just at the thought of Remus. His Remus. Sirius knew his betrayal all those year ago had hurt Remus the most. To believe that the one you loved above all others sold your best friends to Voldemort. What a terrible ordeal to go through. And Remus went through it alone. Sirius would always regret thinking Remus was the spy. He would always regret switching Secret-Keeper to Peter. He would always regret trying to track down Wormtail, instead of running to Remus' side with an explanation. Still, as much as he regretted his past mistakes, he knew he could never change them. Remus is alive. I'm alive. Harry's alive. That's all that matters now.

Once Sirius had flown away on Buckbeak, his godson's figure growing smaller and smaller, he headed for the one place he could think of: Remus' flat. If he knew Remus--and he did--Remus would resign from Hogwarts and arrive home the next night. There were things to be said before Sirius began his life on the run.

Sirius was not disappointed. After sleeping for most of the day, he had just gotten out of the shower and was in the process of dressing into one of Remus' spare robes, when he heard the front door open.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

There've been changes beyond my dreams.
Everybody wants me to sing.
There've been changes beyond my grasp,
Things I'm sinking in.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Remus was baffled at how much twelve years could change a person. Not just Sirius, who looked nothing like the handsome man he remembered, but himself as well. Also, he was shocked at how much hadn't changed. He had thought the boy inside of him had died. Died the day James, Lily, and Peter had died. But he was wrong.

As he raced to the Shrieking Shack, the shock of seeing Peter's name on the Map, Remus found the child inside him. That boy who used to cling to Sirius when the nightmares were bad, who used to do anything just to see Sirius smile, who used to think of Sirius every waking moment and dream of him at night. At that moment, Remus had realized that the boy had never died. Even when he thought Sirius was guilty, the feelings of love did not leave. The boy had been alive all this time. It was enough to make the tears flow, but Remus had pushed them back and focused on getting into the Shack.

Seeing Sirius, hair down to his elbows in a tangled mess, made the tears almost fall again. But still, thought Sirius' appearance had changed, Remus knew one thing that hadn't: love. Remus could feel it as if it were tangible. Love radiated from Sirius' sunken eyes as he watched Remus. After all this time, he can still love me. Then there had been the hug. Sirius had squeezed Remus just as hard as Remus had squeezed Sirius. That returned hug left no doubt in Remus' mind. Here was his reason to live. Here was his life. Here was his love.

Remus let his mind wander over the events he remembered from the previous night, as he rode the Knight Bus home. The memories seemed to blur together, but that was common on nights of the full moon. In fact, Remus was surprised he remembered so much. And he was glad he remembered. He drank in every image of Sirius. His mind replayed the hug over and over. Suddenly, he remembered how thin Sirius' body had felt. Sirius, his heart hurt for his lover, I'll take care of you now. We're both broken, but together we can be healed. I promise.

Remus pushed open his front door and stepped inside, hoping deep in his hear that Sirius wouldn't let him down.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So keep me, keep me,
In your bed all day, all day.
Nothing heals me like you do.
Nothing heals me like you do.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I knew you'd be right home," Sirius said with an amused grin. Remus was standing by the front door a slightly surprised look on his face. No doubt he expected Sirius to be there, but dared not hope in case he was wrong. "Hope you don't mind that I borrowed some clothes."

"Not at all, Padfoot," Remus returned the grin and closed the door behind him.

"Really?" Sirius knew his eyes were twinkling, like they had when he was younger. Being with Remus brought out that child again. "Here I was hoping you would mind. Then I'd have to take them all off." Remus' eyes widened; for a moment, Sirius thought he had said too much. Perhaps Remus wasn't ready to just pick up where they left off. Maybe he was wrong in coming here. But all the uncertainty vanished when Remus walked across the room to him.

"How is it that you still know me so well?" Sirius didn't have time to answer before Remus' mouth met his. And suddenly, nothing had changed between them. They were the same boys from before, sharing first crushes and first kisses; experiencing the joys and pains of love with each other.

Remus' kisses were hungry, and Sirius' was returning them just as forcefully. Both of them had gone for so long without touch, without love. Now was the time to make up for all the years they missed.

Since it was the day after full moon, Remus seemed keen on leading; Sirius let him. Hardly breaking the kiss, Remus dragged Sirius into the flat's only room. The bed squeaked loudly as both bodies fell upon it. It didn't take them long at all to remove every stitch of clothing. Sirius sat still for a moment, taking in the sight of Remus. There were a few scars he didn't recognize, and Sirius wasted no time getting re-familiarized with Remus' body.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And when somebody knows you well,
Well, there's no comfort like that.
And when somebody needs you,
Well, there's no drug like that.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

How was it possible? He had spent the last twelve years trying to forget Sirius. Now, Sirius was roaming over his body, tasting every inch of his flesh. Remus made a soft whimpering noise. How could Sirius still know him? How could Sirius still remember all the right spots to caress? Did he still know Sirius just as well?

Remus, stopping Sirius' tantalizing kisses along his neck, pulled the other man so they could kiss properly again. Remus ran his fingers down Sirius' chest. Sirius moaned slightly into the kiss, as Remus knew he would. His fingers continued on, sliding down Sirius' side. Here was the spot, Remus was sure. Right on the hip. Tenderly, Remus traced his fingers along Sirius' hipbone, along the smooth flesh of Sirius' side. The other man moaned deeply. Remus loved that sound. He heard it all the time in his dreams. Now, he was hearing that sound again, in real life, with Sirius' naked body writhing beneath him.

"Moony," Sirius' voice was husky. "Remus, I love you so much."

"I know," Remus said, just as low. He began to nibble on Sirius' left ear. "I love you too," he whispered in-between bites. "I loved you all along. I never stopped."

"Me neither," Sirius moaned. "Remus, please, Remus... I need... you..."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So keep me, keep me,
In your bed all day, all day.
Nothing heals me like you do.
Keep me, keep me,
In your bed all day, all day.
Nothing heals me like you do.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sirius couldn't find the words to beg for more. All his happy thoughts had been taken away in Azkaban. Now that he was out, they were returning. The first to return was Remus. Followed closely by the thought of making love to Remus. However, with the knowledge of Peter being alive, Sirius forced away all his newly found happy thoughts and focused solely on revenge. Now he wondered why. How could he have cared more about killing Peter than being with Remus? Add that to the list of past mistakes, he thought.
And that brought his mind back to the present. And to exactly what Remus' fingers were doing. Sirius arched his back and growled softly, trying to get his body as close to Remus as possible. His efforts were rewarded by Remus pushing down against him. The friction of their bodies made Sirius' head dizzy. He had missed this more than he realized. Not just the sex. The togetherness. The unspoken bond. The declarations of love that could be heard behind every moan and whimper and growl. Sirius Black was finally home.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And where I'm home, curled in your arms,
And I'm safe again,
I'll close my eyes and sleep, sleep,
To the sound of London Rain.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sirius woke up for the first time in twelve years without fear. He could feel Remus' strong arms encircling him. When he was with Remus, there was nothing to worry about. Nothing bad could get him while they were together.

"Good morning," Remus said softly, his arms squeezing Sirius tightly. Sirius returned the hug and sank further into Remus' embrace.

"Morning," he muttered against Remus' chest. Soft fingers began to delve through his hair and Sirius sighed with contentedness. He would give anything to spend the remainder of his life just like this. These moments of silence when they just held each other and took comfort in the other's presence.

"Thank you, Padfoot, for coming over last night. I... You didn't have to, but it means a lot to me that you did."

Sirius grinned to himself. "How could I not come see you, Moony? After spending twelve years in hell, I needed to see an angel."
He heard Remus chuckle softly. "Oh, look." Remus sat up and pointed out the window. A heavy stream of rain was falling from the dark sky. "It's beautiful. It hasn't rained in a ling time."

Sirius nodded, remembering all the times before when he and Remus used to sit and watch the rain. It had been one of their favorite things to do. Sirius closed his eyes and pulled Remus back into his arms. He let the rain lull him back to sleep with the comforting warmness of Remus beside him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So keep me, keep me,
In your bed all day, all day.
Nothing heals me like you do.
Keep me, keep me,
In your bed all day, all day.
Nothing heals me like you do.
Nothing heals me like you do.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was still raining a few days later when Sirius decided he had better leave. The Ministry might stop by to see if Remus had any more information about him. And he didn't want Remus to be in trouble with the Ministry of Magic.

"I don't want you to leave me," Remus said, his voice thick with unshed tears. "I've only just got you back, Padfoot."

Sirius took the other man in his arms and buried his head in Remus' neck. He loved the way Remus smelled. It was sweeter than anything in the world. He didn't want to leave. He wanted to say with his Remus, forever. But that was not an option. "I know, Moony, I know. But I can't endanger you any longer. I think I'll head down south, near Brighton. At least for awhile. But I'll come back soon, Remus. As soon as I can."

"No," Remus said firmly, causing Sirius' eyes to widen. "Let me come with you. Now. We can be on the run together."

"Remus--"

"No, Sirius, don't argue. I can't be without you now. I need you. You heal me. I... I need healing right now."

Sirius let out a long sigh. It was true. They were both in need of healing. There were so many scars, physical and emotional. Together, they could patch most of them up. Remus was right. They couldn't just part ways right now. They needed each other. More than ever before.

"All right, Moony. You can come along too."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Nothing falls like London Rain.
Nothing heals me like you do.
Nothing falls like London Rain.
Nothing heals me like you do.
Nothing falls like London Rain.
Nothing heals me like you do.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*