Jet Pack

DISCLAIMER:

"Jet Pack" song and lyrics by Eve6.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You're the one stepping on the back of my shoes.
You're the one using me as a muse.
You're the one with the jet pack strapped to your back ready to go.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Remus was never a follower. No, that was Peter's job. And after graduation, Sirius expected everything to stay the same. Oh, how he was wrong. Now, James devoted all his time to Lily. Peter was never around and always too busy. Remus... Remus had become a stalker. Sirius' stalker.

And it was understandable, really. Remus had found friends for the first time in his life when he came to Hogwarts. He understood and appreciated what true friends were. Remus was probably the only one to realize just how much their bonds of friendship were dissolving. He's clinging to the only remains of it, Sirius thought to himself. He's clinging to me in hopes of keeping some bond alive.

However, there was something else about Remus' behavior that had Sirius deep in thought. It was more than just tagging along. Remus was there when Sirius wanted to go shopping. He was there when Sirius wanted to go out to eat. He was there when Sirius wanted to take a long walk. And Sirius had no problem with that. He liked spending time with Remus. Remus was always so interesting. So diverse. Their conversations were always entertaining and Sirius often looked forward to them. But whenever Sirius turned the subject to women, Remus would suddenly go quiet. In fact, it had been that way in school too... ... ...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It's you are her and nobody else.
The lights are low and she's so ready.
You're already on your way to the door.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sirius paused at the Portrait Hole as voices drifted through the quiet of the room. He had just been down to the kitchen for some late night snacks. Remus had been helping him with his potions essay, not that Sirius really needed help. Sirius was one of the brightest students in their year. But he lacked the motivation to do his work. That was where Remus came in. His nagging was quite motivating.

However, neither of them could work on an empty stomach, so Sirius leapt at the chance to take a break and steal some food. Upon his return, Sirius found that his place on the couch had been taken in his absence. Slowly he peeked around the corner and saw a cute little blonde sitting next to Remus.

"What are you doing, Remus?" she asked softly.

"Studying," came Remus' curt reply.

"You know," her voice took on a softer tone, "that's what I like about you. You're so attentive to your studies. It makes me think you'd be attentive in other things too."

Sirius' eyes widened. Wow, this girl was a minx. She obviously wanted Remus, here and now. Unfortunately, Remus didn't seem to see this. He was never good at reading women's body language. Instead of kissing the girl, he stood to his feet, grabbed his books and started towards the dormitory.

"I just like studying," he said just before disappearing up the stairs. The girl sat there with a stunned expression on her face before she too went to her room... ... ...

He's shy, Sirius told himself. He just doesn't understand how attractive he is, so he doesn't see all the women after him. Of course, last month, the woman had been pretty blunt... ... ...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You're at the bar, the tender gives you a free drink.
And when she's perfect you sweat bullets, spill the drink, and you leave.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Another round on me," James declared loudly. It was the boy's night out and the four of them sat around a table in the Leaky Cauldron.

"No, this one's on me," Remus said, not even bothering to hid his amusement at seeing James drunk. Remus stood to his feet and walked towards the bar.

"I'll go help him," Sirius told the others. Remus would have a time carrying four drinks by himself.

"Just four please," Remus said politely to the knock-out behind the bar. Dark curly hair pulled up in a bun, with a few wisps falling to her emerald eyes, she was a beauty.

"You gonna be here all night?" she asked Remus with a smile.

"Probably not too much longer."

"Well, I'm off in an hour. Do you wanna grab some dinner together?"

Remus' face went from deepest scarlet to the dullest white in a flash. "Actually... I er... I have to go now." Turning from the bar, without the drinks, he ran right into Sirius. "Oh, sorry Sirius. I just remembered I've got to get home early tonight. Call me later, okay?" Then, without another word to anyone, he left in a dead run... ... ...

He's just nervous, Sirius justified. He gets flustered because he likes them, and can't think of what to say. However, Remus never had a hard time talking with Sirius about anything. In fact, after such encounters with women, Sirius was the first person Remus would call.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Everyone leaves the party except a gorgeous 20-something.
You turn and run.
You call me up.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Hey Sirius."

"Moony. What're ya up to?"

"Oh," Remus' voice sounded exasperated on the other end of the phone. "I just got in."

"You left James' already? I thought you were having fun?"

"You left early too, Padfoot."

"I suppose you're right. But I've got an early appointment. What's your excuse?"

"I don't need an excuse. I just wanted to get home." There was a pause. "You want to grab dinner tomorrow?"

"Sure. The little Italian place down the street?"

"Yeah. That'll work. Six okay?"

"Yup."

"Alright. See you then."

Sirius hung up the phone. When it rang again, he expected it to be Remus. He was wrong, this once.

"Hey ya, Padfoot."

"Oi, James. What's up?"

"I'm just a little worried about Remus."

Sirius sat up straighter on the couch. "Why? What's the matter?"

"Calm down, there. It's just that my cousin Mindy was here tonight. She had her eye on Remus all night. She finally got the nerve to talk to him and he took off. You think he's okay? It's not like him to run off like this."

Sirius, knowing Remus better than James did, had seen Remus do this on a number of occasions. Of course, to James, this behavior would seem odd. He was never around to see Remus run.

"Nah, he's fine. I just got off the phone with him. Said he was getting tired, you know, from the full moon later this week."

"Oh, right. Completely forgot. Well, if you think he's fine, I won't worry. Oi, I gotta go. Lily's waiting."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You're the one stepping on the back of my shoes.
You're the one using me as a muse.
You're the one with the jet pack strapped to your back ready to go.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sirius sat on the couch for some time after James hung up. Why had he lied to James like that? Why hadn't he told James how Remus does this all the time? How Remus never stays longer than two seconds if a girl shows interest in him? In fact, instead of voicing his suspicions, he lied to cover them up.

There had to be something going on. Was Remus really...? Determined, Sirius vowed to get to the bottom of it, no matter what.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So, the way you act is it just an act to some strange courtship ritual?
A habitual nervous reaction?
Hey it's just me set yourself free
Why don't you let me know what's going on
Inside your cluttered head?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"Not really."

"You know, Moony, I'm always here for you. No matter what. I've accepted you since we started at Hogwarts. If you want to tell me something..."

Remus smiled questioningly. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. You want to see a movie later tonight?"

"Yeah, that'll be great!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You're the one stepping on the back of my shoes.
You're the one using me as a muse.
You're the one with the jet pack strapped to your back ready to go.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Well, he had tried everything, and Remus wouldn't open up. Sirius could see it was growing into an obsession. He wanted to find out the truth. He wanted to know what Remus' real feelings were. Every time he saw the other man, he devised ways of asking the question he longed to ask, in the most delicate way possible.

But, Sirius scolded himself, what if he gets angry at me? He's obviously kept it a secret from me on purpose. I don't want to force him to tell me anything if he's not ready for it. I don't want him to be uncomfortable. Or worse, to stop being with me. But I have to know.

Sirius was sure he could be blunt if he had to. But did he really want to risk it?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

'What the hell are you talking about?' Is that what you would say?
If I were to wonder out loud would it make you turn away?
Just a curious question to think about.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The two men sat around the table in Remus' tiny kitchen. The ordered-in Chinese food cartons sat empty on the table's edge. Two beers, halfway full, sat to the other side. The room was silent, but comfortable; Sirius really liked it this way.

"I'm stuffed," Remus said unnecessarily.

"Me too," Sirius answered. Remus gave Sirius a smile, then got up to clear the plates. Placing them in the sink, Remus sat back down and grabbed his beer. "Moony, can I ask you a question?"

Remus took a drink then said, "Sure."

Here it is. "Remus, are you gay?" Sirius tried to prepare for all the possible outcomes to this conversation. Anger, definitely. Denial, sure. Avoidance, of course. But not what followed.

"Yes," Remus stated matter-of-factly. "Didn't you know?"

Sirius stuttered in response.

"Come now, Padfoot. You're as smart as they come, I was sure you figured it out long ago."

"I had my suspicions... But why didn't you just tell me?"

Remus looked away for a few moments. "I had my reasons. Plus, I thought you knew. I mean, you've been able to figure out all the other secrets in my life, why not this one?"

"But what about the others? You figured I knew, but what about James and Peter?"

"They've got their own lives to worry about. They don't need to know the inner workings of a confused werewolf."

"Confused?"

Again, Remus looked away.

"Aren't we all a little confused, Sirius?"

Sirius didn't know how to respond to this. Finally, in an almost sullen voice he said, "You still should have told me, flat out."

"Does it matter?" Remus asked quietly.

"Of course not," Sirius said at once.

Remus finally raised his head and met Sirius' eyes. "Then why do you care?"

Sirius opened his mouth to reply but then stopped. Why did he care? Why had this one, simple question turned into an obsession? Since the thought formed in his mind, every waking hour was devoted to it. To Remus. Why?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

If it was you and me and nobody else,

Would want me to want to be ready to go?
Or would you want to take the lights down low?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I... I..."

"You can figure it out, and let me know later."

But Sirius didn't need time. He knew the answer. He knew it a long time ago, he had just ignored it. And now, confronted with this situation, his thoughts just fit together.

Remus loved him. It was plain to see. That was why Remus was a tag-a-long. It explained his attitude and behavior and why Sirius was always the person he came to. It wasn't that he couldn't talk to James or Peter about it, it was because he wanted to talk to Sirius about it. And all this time, Sirius had overlooked him.

"I don't need time," he said aloud, finally voicing his deepest thoughts. "If you felt this way, you definitely should have told me."

"Felt what way?"

Sirius' gaze fixed on the other man. "You're in love with me."

Remus choked on his sip of beer.

"That's why you didn't come right out and tell me. You were afraid I'd reject you. And not just our friendship. You were afraid I'd reject your love."

"S...S...Sirius..." Remus stuttered.

"Am I right?"

It took Remus a few minutes to respond. After a deep sigh, he looked Sirius right in the eyes and smiled. "Yeah, I guess you are."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You're the one stepping on the back of my shoes.
You're the one using me as a muse.
You're the one with the jet pack strapped to your back ready to go.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sirius couldn't help but return Remus' smile. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Along with the realization that Remus loved him, he knew now that he also loved Remus.

It was so obvious now. They two of them spent every waking hour together. He wanted to be with Remus every second of every day. The thought of a world without Remus was a dark one.

"You should have just told me right out, Moony. Look what we've been missing out on all this time."

Remus tilted his head and said, "What do you mean, Padfoot."

"I'm telling you I love you too, idiot. As smart as you are, I didn't think you'd be so dense with romance."

"Y-y-you love me?"

"Didn't I just say so?"

"You love me?"

"Like I said, dense."

Remus had a glazed look in his eyes, as if the thought was so unthinkable that it caused he brain to shut down completely. Sirius did the only thing he could think of: he leaned forward and kissed Remus. That seemed to do the trick.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hey it's just me set yourself free,
Why don't you let me know what's going on?
Hey it's just me set yourself free,
Why don't you let me know what's going on?
Hey it's just me set yourself free,
Why don't you let me know what's going on?
Hey it's just me set yourself free.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*