Remembering

'He is despised and rejected of men;
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.'

Isaiah, 53:3

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"Time heals all wounds."

Dumbledore said that to me after James' and Lily's funeral. He said it would get better.

He lied.

I'm sure he didn't mean to - he wouldn't lie intentionally, not without a good reason to, anyway. He said it would get better, said that eventually time would heal the wound.

And I still remember how I replied to him. I wish I hadn't said what I did - I'll never forget the look of pain in his eyes, and what I thought was pity. I was angry, and it just came out.

So what did I do?

I pointed to where the scar is - "Didn't heal that one, did it?"

I was so angry. So angry. And he didn't deserve to feel that.

But he did lie. Time hasn't helped. It still hurts as much as it ever did. Especially on mornings like this.

It's all fresh out there, all the new scents, smells, tastes of spring. I remember going through the grounds searching for ever new scent, every sound, everything that was new, that I hadn't tasted before.

Now I'm here. A closed, locked room; damp, dark and dismal.

I can't move - I can't find the energy to. I still half-expect James, Peter and... him... to come in an help me up before Madam Pomfrey gets here.

But she's not coming.

And neither are they.

They're never going to come and help me again.

And every month it feels like I'm being told the news again. Every single month I wake up and remember Dumbledore helping me to my feet, and I know somehow that something is wrong - why else would he be there? Resigned as headmaster, gone to work for Werewolf Support Services at the Ministry?

Every single month I remember him telling me.

And every single month I lose them all again, losing my family again.

"Time heals all wounds."

That's what he said after the funeral. And I hated him.

Hated him for saying that. Because he was lying.

"Time heals all wounds."

No. It doesn't.

Mine's still raw.

It always will be.