Whichever Comes First

Lily Evans stopped her studying for a moment, frowning over the topic in the Transfiguration text that McGonagall had assigned them to read before the next class session. She rubbed at her forehead and peered around the common room with a frown that turned itself into a smile as Ariena Wincha wandered down the stairs and dropped herself firmly into the lap of Peter Pettigrew, who was seated on the other side of her and James.

Peter was in their year, and was extremely shy, which was part of the reason she didn't know him that well. Few outside of the little group made up by James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and himself did so. However, Ariena had weaseled her way past that wall that he couldn't seem to get past, and he was more comfortable with himself afterwards.

They were good for each other, Lily mused, watching them. It was just a good thing that Rien was as bold as she was, or else they'd both still be miserable and alone. Either that, or she would have ended up with someone else, and Peter would be alone. Shaking the thought from her mind, Lily returned to the Transfiguration text. She managed a few more moments of puzzling over the dangers of the misuse of Transfiguration before she slammed the book closed and leaned into James' shoulder.

He turned away from what he was doing, and looked at her curiously. "What is it?"

"I don't understand it, not really."

"What's that?" he asked. "Can I help?"

"You can try," she said as she flipped the book back open once more and stabbing the page with one long, ragged fingernail. "That! Why would misuse of Transfiguration end a person up in Azkaban."

"Oh, that. Well, Lily, you see here--" he pointed to a passage in the book. "It all depends on the severity of it all. However, if someone can't - or won't - tell how they managed to transfigure something, or someone, into something or someone else, the damage can't be undone."

"But if it's an accident?" Lily asked him in an agitated tone.

"Okay, let me see if I can explain this," he started after pushing his glasses back up on his nose. "Let's take human transfiguration as an example."

"Okay..."

James pulled out his wand and waved it in figure-eights in front of her face. She smiled, and followed the loops it made in the air with her eyes. After a moment, he finally stopped, and she was grateful, because even that was starting to make her feel a touch dizzy.

"Say if I was to attempt to transfigure you into a cat--" he started with a suddenly mischievous gleam in his brown eyes.

"James, you wouldn't dare!" she called out.

He laughed, "It's just an example. No, Lils, I'm not going to turn you into a cat."

"Continue, then," she gestured at him once he'd stopped laughing.

"If I was to bugger it up, you wouldn't be too pleased with me, would you?"

"As soon as I was turned back - *if* I was turned back - you'd have your wand shoved up your arse so far, you'd never be able to find it again."

"Oooh..." came the voice of one of the other witches in the other room. Lily looked up to see the grinning face of Dari Sanchez, a Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. She grinned wider to see her, and made a sing-song of "Somebody pissed off Liils."

"Shut it, Chez," came the voice of Sirius Black, but distractedly, as he was still engaged in conversation with Remus.

"Thank you, Sear," James said, before turning back to Lily. "Where were we?"

Lily smiled sweetly, "I was shoving your wand up your arse?"

"Ah," James laughed. "Right. Anyway, I'm sure you'd want me punished somehow, even if they *were* able to turn you back. Because, yes, the Ministry does have a Magical Reversal Squad, but they can't fix everything. It's imperfect, much like Chez's favourite subject."

"Shut it, Potter, before you have to find another two Chasers for next week's game against Ravenclaw because we'll both be in the hospital wing."

"Well, I'm going to have to find another Chaser anyway, if your distraction while playing Ravenclaw keeps up as it has been," he snapped at her, and she silenced, going back to her Charms homework.

"You were saying?"

"Right. Anyway, you'd want me punished, wouldn't you?"

"Of course. So in this example of yours, you'd be sent to Azkaban?"

James nodded, "For a single year, but that would be enough in any case."

He shivered at the thought, and she placed a hand on his shoulder. "All right/"

"Yeah. It's just... the thought of it..." he shrugged.

"I think I understand it now," she said, closing the book. She turned back to ask him, "What were you doing before I interrupted?"

"Watching those two tapdance around each other," he said, nodding toward where Remus and Sirius were talking.

She turned slightly, and followed James' gaze. The two wizards were talking too low to be heard, but even as she watched, Sirius leaned in and whispered something to Remus, who blushed in response before answering back. Turning back to James, finally, she said, "What do you mean, James? It looks like Sirius is just trying to embarrass Remus again, and is succeeding wonderfully."

He blinked at her, "You mean you don't see it?"

She let out an exasperated sigh, "See what?! James, you aren't making any sense."

Peter grinned from James' other side, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Lily groaned, "Is this some magic thing nobody's bothered to tell me about? If it is, you really aren't being fair."

James sighed, and ran a hand through his unruly hair. The action only served to make his hair stand even more on end than usual, and she smirked at the sight. He just squirmed and went even more silent, if it was possible.

"Never mind."

"Oh, no, you don't, James Potter. You don't know how infuriating it is for you to start something and then not finish. If you don't start talking right now, you are so going--"

"I don't know how to explain it," he mumbled as he turned his head back toward his two friends, who were oblivious both to his gaze as well as to the rest of what was going on in the common room.

"If you think you're getting out of it that easy--"

"They're in love, okay?" James shot in in a deadly quiet whisper. "They're in love with each other, they have been since the middle of last year, at least, and they don't know that the other feels the same way. Besides that, they're so insecure about it they don't want to take the risk. Come *on*, Lily, can't you tell? Isn't it obvious?"

Lily paled and her mouth dropped open. She shook her head for a couple of moments before managing to get out, "No, it can't be... they can't... they..."

"Look at them, Lil. Look at how they treat each other, don't look at their genders, and tell me I'm wrong. Go ahead and tell me."

"They're... gay?"

James frowned, and looked as though he was trying to predict how she was going to respond before he told her what wa on his mind. "Gay isn't the right word for it. I'm not sure there *is* a word for it. They love who they love, and it happens to be each other. That's all."

"But... that's unnatural, isn't it?"

Peter reentered the conversation then, with a shrug, "No more unnatural than what you and James have, or what Rien and I do. Come *on*, Lil, are you really *that* closed-minded?"

"I'm not closed-minded at all!" she protested. "I just--"

"Then why are you reacting this way?" Ariena asked her. "It's perfectly natural, even if not the usual way of things. For Godric's sake, that unnatural bit sounds like something I'd hear from those who call you and Siri Mudbloods."

Lily went white, then red before rising to her feet, her fists clenched, "Rien, you have no right!"

"All I'm saying, Lily, is that impure, unnatural, or whatever tripe you're throwing out is an argument I've heard out of the old pureblood families like the Malfoys," Ariena gazed at her calmly.

"What's going on over there?" came Remus' voice.

They turned and answered as one: "Nothing!"

Remus looked at them as though he didn't believe a word of it. Finally, though, when they gave him nothing more, he shrugged and went back to his conversation with Sirius. Lily watched them for a moment, saw a mischievous glint enter Remus' eyes, and saw him promptly turn to Sirius and tell him something. Sirius' eyes widened and he started talking quickly, gesturing with his hands.

A smile curved her lips then. Maybe they did have a point. Maybe this was natural, even if not the usual way of things.

James interrupted her train of thought then, in an irritated, frustrated tone. "If you really feel that it's unnatural, Lily, then for Merlin's sake, *don't* say anything to them. They don't need this, none of us do. Not now. Not with what's going on. And if you're going to judge them harshly because of who they love, I'm not going to let you hurt them. You maybe my steady and my best friend besides, Lils, but they're my friends, too, and I will protect them. Even from you."

Lily felt her temper rise again at that, "What makes you think I would--"

James glared at her, "I thought you'd understand. You've been so understanding before but all you've been doing is judging."

"I have not--"

Peter cleared his throat, "James? Lily?"

"What?" they chorused in matching tones of agitation.

He flinched, but put his shoulders back and told them both, "While I'm as protective of them as you are, James, ans while we talk about how they're alternately annoying and adorable, it's not going to solve anything if you go off at Lily."

"If she can't accept this, how she's going to accept that she's been rooming with a lesbian witch for five years?"

"What?" Lily hissed. "Who?"

James looked across the room at the bowed blonde head who was still working on her homework.

"Dariele? How? Who?"

"Foster on Ravenclaw. She gets buggered up whenever we have to play them. Drives us all nutters."

"I'm surrounded," Lily said, but it was on a tone of amusement, and James chuckled.

"Indeed you are."

Lily rose then, and James watched her. For a long moment, she watched the conversation between the two boys, then she shook her head and headed back up to the girls' dorms. James sighed then, and sagged back against the sofa. "I wasn't expecting anything like that. Lily's smart; I would have thought she'd have seen it."

"What can we say, James?" Ariena said on a laugh. "Not everyone is gifted with your extraordinary sense of who's in love with who. I think the Muggles call it, in this instance, gaydar."

"Do you think she's okay with it?" Peter asked after a moment.

James shook his head, "Not quite yet, but I think she will be by the time they finally stop dancing around each other and admit what they feel for each other."

Ariena giggled, "Imagine what her reaction would have been if you had told her that you and Dari used to argue about who had the biggest thing for her."

James chuckled sheepishly and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not sure I want to."

Ariena slipped away then, claiming she was going to go check on Lily, and Peter let her go with a smile. "I think I love her, James."

"I'm glad to hear it, mate. You deserve someone good for you."

"Yeah."

About that time, Sirius and Remus stopped talking about whatever they were talking about and joined them. After a few minutes, James found himself drawn into one of their plots, and discovered that's what they were talking about. About blowing up the Potions lab after confiscating a few incredients from the stores. James declared it an utterly brill plan, and they went about planning details until they were all exhausted.

On their way back to the dorms, Remus asked him, "What was that all about?"

James shrugged, "Just a little misunderstanding. It'll pass."

Remus gave him an intense look that James shrugged off. After he went into the dorms, James sighed and followed him in.

He'd explain it. Eventually, or when he and Sirius stopped doing that dance of avoidance around each other.

Whichever came first.