The Mating Game

Chapter Five

An Awkward Lunch

Hermione apparated to the Leaky Cauldron at 11:59 on Saturday. She remembered that her former professor had been a stickler for punctuality.

Professor Snape was already waiting for her, still wearing the same tired black suit and black teaching robes that she remembered from her school days. Ron and Harry had once made a bet concerning that suit; Ron bet that he had only one, while Harry thought he had several copies of the same suit. That was one wager they’d never been able to settle. Hermione wondered if she could find out the answer before lunch ended. Not likely, she thought. Though if I end up marrying him, the answer will be obvious, won’t it?

"Miss Granger." His voice, low and familiar, almost seemed to transport her back to the classroom. Something was different here, though. In the classroom, he’d always been remarkably at ease, even when confronted with one of Neville’s signature explosions. Today he stood stiffly with his hands in his pockets.

"Professor Snape. Good morning." She tried to keep her voice from shaking. It had been a while since she’d feared him in the classroom; from the time she’d discovered that he was a double agent, at the end of her fourth year, she’d felt a grudging respect for the silent, sullen man. Yet now, as she stood facing him, she felt as though she’d been reduced to a cowering first year. "Shall we find a table?" she managed to say. He nodded and gestured to a booth in the corner. After sitting down, they continued to appraise each other in silence until Tom came to take their orders.

Even after the food was placed before them they remained silent, glancing at each other obliquely as though sizing each other up. Hermione tried not to gulp her stew as she watched the way he methodically chewed his sandwich. Only after she had pushed away her bowl and picked up her teacup did she manage to mumble, "So, may I assume that you wanted to actually talk to me? Or were you just trying to evaluate the way I ate?"

Snape made a muffled grunt and nodded, but seemed to take his time finishing the remains of his sandwich. Finally he pulled a neatly folded piece of parchment from an inner pocket and smoothed it out on the table before him, studying it. "Actually, I did have a few questions, yes. First of all, if we were to get married, what would you expect our living arrangements to be? Would you insist on living with me?"

Hermione shrugged. She’d thought about this several times in the last few days and hadn’t come to any clear conclusions. It would be better for the children, she knew, if they lived with both parents. But yet, while she thought that Snape might be a good father, she wasn’t sure what sort of husband he would be. Could she really coexist with him on a daily basis?

Unfortunately, she had to answer now, so she mumbled, "Oh, I don’t know. I would expect you to visit often, at the very least, for the children’s sake. Whether or not we actually share the same house, much less the same bedroom" (she felt herself blushing here, for some reason) "is something I would rather play by ear–see how much of each other we can tolerate and decide based on that."

The professor responded with a nod (though the expression on his face as surly as ever) and said, "Question Two. What are your expectations regarding my role as a father?"

Hermione paused, chewed her lip a bit and said, "Well, I would expect you to be involved in some way, but I haven’t really worked out how. You wouldn’t need to change nappies or anything like that. Or even see the children every day, for that matter. But you do need to be there for them on a fairly regular basis. I have a Muggle friend whose parents are divorced, and her father was almost more like an uncle to her than a parent because she saw him so seldom–I don’t want my children in a situation like that."

"Okay. Now Question Three. Do you like children?"

"Err…I think so. I’ve never had to be a mother, though. How about you?"

He jumped a little, as if surprised by the question, then stared down at his empty plate and began drumming his fingers on the table. "Little ones are…not so annoying, I suppose. The older ones can be quite bothersome at times. However, some of my schoolmates who had similar feelings about children are now doting parents. I am forced to conclude, therefore, that one must feel differently about one’s own children. And now, Question Four. If you consider our marriage to be one of convenience, will you have, shall we say, other relationships?"

Hermione didn’t know whether she should break out in loud laughter or strangle the man sitting across from her. "If, by that, you mean will I have lovers, the answer is no. But I am not going to be sequestered in your dungeons for the rest of my life. Unlike you, I am not a hermit. I have friends and I’m bloody well going to see them!"

He smirked at her. "Very well, Miss Granger. If we marry, you may feel free to visit your beloved Misters Potter and Weasley so you can comment on the state of our marriage. But keep in mind that I, too, have friendships which I will not abandon. I would expect you to allow me freedom as well. And before you ask, no, I am not the type of man who takes lovers."

When he looked down, once more, at his list, he was quickly interrupted by Hermione. "Hold on a second. This is supposed to be a conversation, not an exam! Let me ask you a question!"

Snape quirked an eyebrow at her but said coldly: "Very well. Proceed."

"What is your philosophy of child raising?"

"Hmmm. Well, I’m a big believer in early education."

"Okay. I can live with that."

"And I believe that children should be raised by two parents. And…" He stopped, turned his face toward the window, and stared off absently into space before adding quietly, "They should be given a great deal of affection."

"Of course," said Hermione impatiently. "I took that as a given. Most parents…"

"Most, but not all!" he said sharply. "It would be my goal to do so as a father. It’s just that–I’m not sure I can. I’ve never been a physically affectionate person." He turned so that, for the first time all day, he was looking at her directly, as though trying to skewer her with those flashing black eyes. "I feel it my duty to warn you of that, since I’m certain you couldn’t figure it out on your own."

She couldn’t help but giggle at his sarcasm; then, realizing the implications of what he had said to her, surprised him with a big grin. "Affection isn’t limited to hugs and kisses, Professor. My father isn’t a very touchy-feely kind of man, either. But when I was little he’d read to me for an hour or more every night. I looked forward to evenings with Dad from the moment I woke up! And he’d take me on long walks and show me things… leaves, bugs, flowers, whatever…he knew all sorts of stuff about nature. I loved my dad as much as my mom. More, maybe."

Snape sat bolt upright, his gaze riveted on her. "You…you think this could work, then?" he asked quietly.

"Yes."

"You wouldn’t insist that I show physical affection?"

"Not to the children…not to me. Just give what is in your heart to give." As Hermione said these words, she could see the tension visibly disappear from the man across from her.

"Thank you," he said simply. There was a long pause. Then, "Will you marry me?"

She frowned at him. "Why, exactly, do you want to marry me? You seemed to indicate that there were quite a number of other applicants."

Unconsciously imitating her scowl, he replied, "First of all, I have always felt strongly that, if I ever were to marry, I would want an intelligent wife."

This was the closest Snape had ever come to complimenting her. It was so unexpected that she was starting to wonder whether this whole lunch had been a Firewhiskey-induced hallucination.

"And, second," he added, unaware of the twist her thoughts were taking, "you seem to have a great deal of confidence in my ability to parent. A man with a history like mine finds that very valuable."

He seemed serious enough, and certainly willing. She wasn’t likely to get another opportunity like this–a man who, theoretically, was compatible with her and willing to marry her. So she took the chance.

"Okay," she said simply. "Let’s get married, then."