The Setting Sun

The Setting Sun

Life had settled back into its normal routine once again. Wake up. Eat a lonely breakfast. Wait for news from the Order. Eat a lonely lunch. Wait for news. Eat dinner, maybe with someone who came to check on him. Go to the minimart on the corner if needed. Wait for news. Go to sleep in a lonely bed. Their bed...

It was boring, yes, but there was always something to do to pass the endless stretches of idle time. One of the advantages of living as a Muggle was television, the blissfully mind-numbing pastime he indulged in for most of the day.

Unfortunately he had been all but out of food, which had prompted this excursion to the minimart.

Remus Lupin pushed open the door to the harsh jangling of rusty bells. Briefly, he spared a moment of his time to wonder if they stores ever had any originality. Then it was back to his task.

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He was checking out when it happened. A tall black man burst into the store, gun waving and a mask over the top half of his face. Growling, he demanded the clerk empty the cash drawer. The terrified girl agreed and started pulling out bills, but Remus stepped in between them, his mind blissfully numb.

"You gotta problem, cracker?" the robber sneered. Remus didn't even take offense at the racial slur. He just reached for his wand.

"Whaddya got there? Oh, shit!" Panicked, he fired. Too late. His stunner caught the thief square in the chest, and they fell together. Remus welcomed the pain with wide-open arms, all too happy to leave.

"Incendio," he murmured softly, and his wand burned up from the inside out. There would be no trace of the wizarding world on his broken body. His duty done, he slipped into blissful delirium.

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"Please Moony? I'll do anything!" Sirius begged, on his knees in front of Remus. The fair-haired boy frowned at his friend.

"Honestly, Pads. I'm not going to let you copy my essay, no matter what you do for me," he scolded. Sirius looked up at him in mock-sadness through his long eyelashes and Remus felt his heart skip a beat. When Sirius looked at him like that, he just...

Better get off that train of thought.

As always, his resistance caved.

"But I'll help you finish it. Okay?" Sirius grinned and pulled up a chair.

"Git. You had this planned the whole time!" Remus laughed, when Sirius pulled a quill out of his back pocket. The raven-headed boy shrugged innocently.

"So when did those Goblin Rebellions start again?"

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Remus looked at his best friend with unbridled longing. Unbridled, because he was alone with Sirius and he was asleep. But Remus quickly closed off his expression, for fear Sirius would wake up or someone would come into the room. Now nobody would've suspected how much he wanted him, wanted to be with him, wanted to have his arms around him as he...

But no matter what he wanted, it could never happen.

Still, he reasoned, If you could forgive him for what happened with Snape, I'm sure he could forgive you for fancying him. Resolutely, he pushed the voice aside and took to his own bed.

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"Moony..." Sirius breathed, leaning closer. Remus found his chest had tightened so it hurt to breath. His hands got cold, colder than the coldest ice, but a fiery liquid seemed to spread through his veins inside. The room seemed too small and the air too hot, though they were in the common room and it was the middle of winter. The only sound was the sound of the fire cheerily crackling as it slowly burned down to nothing. Still Remus waited for Sirius to speak again.

He was disappointed in a decidedly pleasant way, for instead of speaking, Sirius kissed him softly. Remus shivered in delight and kissed back, never having dreamed that his admission would lead to this. He had expected anger, refusal, rejection, - but not something like this.

Sirius ran his tongue along his lips, demanding entry. Remus was only too happy to comply. Unconsciously he pressed closer to Sirius, who wrapped his arms around him and drew him neared. Remus shivered again as he slipped his hands under Sirius' shirt. Sirius moaned softly as Remus' hands caressed the skin on his back, and then they broke away out of need for air.

"How long?" Sirius asked softly, once he had regained his breath enough to speak.

"I don't know. Feels like forever. At least since Third Year."

"That long? Moony..." Sirius' arms were warm and comforting as they wrapped around him again, and Remus was content to lean into the embrace. He caught his breath as Sirius slipped his hands under his nightshirt and lifted it over his head. Remus winced as one stubborn button caught on his hair, but it relinquished its hold as quickly as it had caught, and the brief flash of pain was more than forgotten as Sirius did things with his hands, his mouth, his tongue, awakening his senses and driving coherent thought away...

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The pain of betrayal. Lily and James - Dead. Harry - Living with Muggles. Peter - Murdered. Sirius - Azkaban.

Remus - Alone.

He told himself that he should have been used to it, this loneliness. He had been alone for almost all his life, until Hogwarts. Logically, he was somewhat correct, but his emotions refused the path of logic, as only emotions will.

He became no stranger to sleepless nights, lying alone with his grief. Always, always alone...

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"Are you sure, Moony?"

"Positive."

"I love you too."

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He cried out as Sirius shuddered underneath him. Spent, he collapsed next to Sirius.

"We have to do that more often." He gasped as Sirius rolled over onto him, reinitiating the contact that had led them here.

"How about right now?"

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"Dammit, Pads! Why the hell did you leave? Why? My God..." Remus looked at the smashed bottle in his hand with something akin to shock. Blood seeped through his fingers to form little rivers of red on the smooth tile. As he registered the shattered glass spread all around him - far too much for just one bottle - he seemed almost content. After all, one could say it was the Firewhiskey that had led him there, had made him just reckless enough...

Remus fell to the floor, sobbing.

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An extended hand. A cheerful voice.

"My name's Sirius Black. Yours?"

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Mouths locked in a fierce battle. Rediscovery. Lying in his arms. Perfection.

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Remus exhaled, a long, shuddering breath, and did not breathe again. His broken spirit welcomed the release with his entire being.

Then the ambulance came.

When one Remus Lupin found himself in a hospital room, alive and healing, he spoke one word.

"Sirius..."

And cried himself to sleep, once again surrounded with nothing.

FIN