The Odd Exception

The Great Hall was already clearing out when Harry, Hermione, and Ron finally came down for dinner. They had been forced to clean up the Charms classroom after one of Ron's botched attempts at charming a pincushion to sing backfired, shooting small pins off at lighting speeds, shattering inkpots and cracking the windows. The last hour had been spent down on their hands and knees scrubbing the ink out of classrooms' carpeted floors with Muggle cleaning tools. They had not been instructed to use only Muggle tools but the carpets had recently been enchanted to be resistant to spells as a protective measure. The Weasley twins and Lee Jordon had recently taken to enchanting carpets and rugs to reach up and grab the ankles of the people walking on them. At first it had been amusing to watch, countless people fell forward on their face their books flying every which way, but the spell had gotten out of control and several people ended up in the Hospital Wing with twisted or broken ankles from over-aggressive carpets. Harry and Hermione didn't have to help but Harry felt guilty for telling Ron the wrong incantation. Hermione stayed behind mostly to mutter darkly suggestive insults about Ron's maximum brain capacity (whether it compared to that of a flobberworm or a sea cucumber) under her breath as she magically repaired the windows.

("Really Ron, I'm surprised you haven't burnt down the castle yet with all your mistakes."

"Well, excuse me, little Miss. Perfect. Not everyone is an annoying Know-it-All like you."

"It not even like it was a difficult spell. I've seen you do it a million times before..."

"Oh, shut up! I was distracted, that's all. Everyone screws up sometimes. Well, everyone but stuck-up smart-alecks.")

Ron was in a foul mood again. He shot several nasty looks at her under furrowed eyebrows. Hermione was pointedly ignoring him while trying to draw Harry into conversation.

"So, Harry, what did you like of McGonagall's lesson today? I thought it was especially informational today. She covered so much material while making it so accessible..."

"Er... sorry, Hermione. I fell asleep today in Transfigurations," Harry said with a hint of embarrassment in his voice.

"Harry! I'm surprised at you. I know some of our other classmates tend to slack off and not do their own work, but I expected more from you..."

"And which of our fellow classmates would you be talking about?" Ron interjected.

Hermione looked down her noise at him and said in a haughty voice, "I think you know exactly who I'm talking about."

Harry pulled out of the conversation and back into his own thoughts. As the sounds of Ron and Hermione's angry voices grew louder in passion and indignation, Harry looked for distraction and found it in a piece of steak and kidney pie. He quickly shoved it into him mouth before either Ron or Hermione could ask his opinion on Ron's waning work ethic or Hermione's constant prattling.

Ron and Hermione were bickering non-stop about the littlest things these days. They spent more time not talking to each other than they did talking. It made Harry very uncomfortable to constantly be playing referee between them.

The Gryffindor table was nearly empty and only the scattered remains of dinner remained. The trio picked and scraped at the ends of the different dishes and combined them to make a satisfactory meal. Most people in the hall were finished eating and were just leaving to go back to their respective House common rooms.

One other individual had just entered the Great Hall and was picking for food. Luna Lovegood was wandering up and down the Ravenclaw table, picking at the leftover food, with the apparent interest one would normally reserve for a speech given by Umbridge on the moral ethics of International Wizarding Trade.

Harry called out to her and motioned for her to sit with them at the Gryffindor table. Luna smiled at him in thanks and started to head over. If there is one thing Luna is good at, Harry thought, is creating a social distraction. He just hoped that Hermione and Ron would focus more on Luna's unusual theories than each other for a little while. It didn't have to be long, Harry thought, just long enough to get them through dinner without slashing each other's throats with steak knives.

Luna sat down across from Hermione and gave her a vulnerable-looking smile. Hermione's face softened and she gave her a tight smile back. "Hello Luna. How were your classes today?"

"They went alright," Luna replied, starting on her now cold baked potato. "One of the Hufflepuffs in my year ended up blowing up his cauldron in Potions today. We were doing Snore-less Potions so it wasn't so bad. A big wad of it hit Professor Snape in the face, though."

While Ron and Harry howled in laughter, Hermione looked painfully concerned. "Was he injured? I think the active ingredient in Snore-Less Potions is ground mermaid's fin so it shouldn't have harmed him seriously..."

Harry laughed even more. "Hermione, who cares if he got hurt? He's an old, slimy git."

Ron nodded and said, "Yeah. I never knew anyone who deserved a face full of half-baked potion as much as him!"

Even after being friends with Harry and Ron for six years, Hermione still appeared scandalized by their reaction. "But, Ron," she gasped. "He's a teacher."

Ron rolled his eyes at her. "Hermione, you make it sound like all teachers are gods on earth. Yeah, Snape is a teacher, but he is also a git. These are not mutually exclusive events in nature."

Harry could feel the tension building in the atmosphere. Ron was feeling smug and probably would battle with Hermione for hours if she let him. Hermione was getting increasingly irritable and was making Harry uncomfortable about the way she was fondling her butter knife. Fortunately, Luna found this to be a very good time to mention that she thought that the boy that let his cauldron explode was under the influence of a Romanian Sultry-Tree-Slinger.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione stared at her openly. Luna continued, "That would explain why he was so absent-minded. He fell in love with one of the Tree-Slingers. They are very well known in that part of the world for stealing the hearts of young men then driving them insane with desire."

Hermione scoffed, "There is not such thing as a Romanian Sultry-Tree-Slinger. They're just a silly myth made up to scare little boys away from the dangerous woods of Romania."

Luna looked thoroughly unconvinced. "Oh, they why do you think he let his cauldron blow up. I suppose you would say that he just forgot all about it and let it go out of stupidity."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Well, yes. That is what I would expect."

An odd light gleamed in Luna's eyes and leaned forward, beckoning the trio to do the same. In a loud stage whisper she said, "Then, why, would you suppose, did the boy have a red mark on the back of his left hand in the shape of a maple leaf? I saw it when he was cleaning up the potion after class."

Hermione shrugged. "Maybe it was a birthmark. I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation. All I know is that it couldn't be a Romanian Sultry-Tree-Slinger. They just don't exist."

Luna sighed and returned to her cold dinner. "Shows what you know."

Hermione looked annoyed but defeated. She knew better than to try and convince Luna out of her unorthodox theories.

Ron, on the other hand, delighted in Luna's success to drive Hermione into a bitter silence. He was obviously feeling very magnanimous thoughts of Luna because he said, "So, what does one of these Sultry Singers look like? They sound really cool."

Luna looked up in interest but Hermione cut her off before she could start. "They're called Romanian Sultry-Tree-Slingers and they're just a myth. They're supposed to be very beautiful woman who live in trees and turn men insane with lust."

Ron started to look genuinely interested. "So, they're like veela then? They're really beautiful women like Fleur who make men fall in love with them with magical charms?"

It took one look at Hermione to tell that she was extremely upset. Harry could feel frustration crackling off of her. Her head was tucked into her chin and her face was getting redder by the second.

"They're not real," she muttered softly, her voice getting horse from emotion.

Ron looked at her levelly and replied, "But Luna said that..."

Suddenly, Hermione was standing over them, her chair toppled over behind her. With a beet red face and a jaded look in her eyes, she screamed, "Ronald Weasley, you are the most insensitive, dim-witted jerk I have ever met!" Without saying anything more, she grabbed her book-bag and ran out of the Great Hall without having finished her dinner.

Ron muttered, "She's a lunatic. Really, she is." They all went back to their plates, not saying anything more. Harry, Ron, and Luna said in an awkward silence for several minutes before Ron excused himself to go to the bathroom. He took his book-bag with him and told Harry he would see him in the Gryffindor tower later on. Harry and Luna were left alone, the only people left in the Great Hall.

Harry was disappointed. He had hopped that Luna would have been more of a distraction for Ron and Hermione but she had instead made them worse off from before. He thought darkly about the next few weeks. They probably wouldn't talk to each other for weeks on end, using Harry as the middle man, making him choose between them anytime they were together. He sulkily started to get up from the table. Before he could say good bye to Luna she cut him off.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I did." Luna looked very uncomfortable. Harry sighed and smiled at her.
"Don't worry about it," he replied. "They're always fighting with each other. They would have fought had you been here or not. It was inevitable."

"No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have mentioned the Sultry-Tree-Slingers to Ron in front of Hermione. She had every right to get upset."

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Er... I don't think Hermione was really upset about the Tree things. She's been fighting with Ron all day, she's just worn-out, and that's all."

Luna looked sad, "But making Ron think of magical women, especially Fleur, right in front of Hermione was very unwise of me. I should have known better. I just let myself get carried away again."

Harry was thoroughly confused. He had no idea what Luna was talking about but he tried to cheer her up the best he could. "You shouldn't let any of this worry you, Luna," he said. "They both have been really stupid today with each other. Ron called her a brainy beaver and Hermione called him a backward warthog. It has nothing to do with you. And if you make it feel any better, I thought the bit about the Romanian Sultry-Tree-Slingers was pretty interesting. I hope you figure out why that kid has a tattoo on his hand."

Luna looked grateful for his kind words but still uncomfortable.

"They are both kind of stupid though," she said, half to herself. "If Ron would just tell Hermione how he really felt about her, I'm sure she would be able to confess herself to him."

Harry moved past confusion into stunned bewilderment. Luna always spoke about peculiar things but this one was on a whole new level of strange.

Harry shifted on his feet and said slowly, "I'm not sure that would be a good idea. Ron is pretty open with his feelings to Hermione and it's never made her happy before. One time he called her an egg-headed pundit. She flew right off the broom handle and started throwing anything she could reach at him. He ended up with a bruise the exact shape of Scotland on his..."

Luna cut him off with a frown. "No, that's not it at all. Ron is in love with Hermione. And she is in love with him. It's pretty obvious."

Harry starred at Luna in unabashed astonishment. With his mouth hung open and his eyes open wide, he probably looked like a dolt but he was too amazed to care. He wasn't sure if Luna was joking or if she was serious. She certainly looked serious enough but what she was suggesting was just ridiculous.

He started to laugh uncomfortably, which turned out to be the wrong thing to do. Luna's eyes narrowed and looked most peeved at his response.

"Look," Harry said, still trying to laugh lightly. "You can't be serious. Ron and Hermione can't stand each other. It's all I can to do to keep them from jumping at each other's throats with Slicing Charms. To suggest that Ron and Hermione would think of each other like that..."

Luna smiled at him and shook her head. "You really don't see it, do you?" Harry shook his head.

Luna smiled wider and said, "The trick is to watch them when they look at each other when they think the other is not paying attention. That's when you'll see it."

Luna smiled as she waved good bye, heaved her book-bag onto her shoulder and left Harry alone in the Great hall.

Harry left for the Gryffindor Tower with his head buzzing. Luna's suggestion was so preposterous, it was barely worth considering. There was no way there was any truth to her idea. Harry turned the idea over a few times in his head before dismissing it completely. Luna is always coming up was stupid theories with no basis, he thought. This isn't any different. If she was best friends with both of them, she would be able to see how ridiculous her theory is.

Harry was still wrapped up in his thoughts when he came to the giant portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Accio," he muttered, earning himself entrance to the Gryffindor common hall.

He climbed through the portal into the common hall. Students were still scattered about room in comfy over stuffed chairs, talking and doing homework. Harry found Ron sitting at a table with a quill in hand. He was in the middle of writing a letter. His owl, Pig, was zooming enthusiastically around Ron's head, excited at the prospect of another job. Harry scanned the room and found a familiar head of bushy brown hair sitting in a chair by the fireplace, apparently absorbed in a thick tome of Wizarding history.

Harry stood back, watching the two of them from afar. There was no weight to Luna's theory but Harry wanted to prove it wrong for his sanity's sake. For awhile the both of them were absorbed in their respective activities. Ron's eyes never left his letter except to dip his quill in his inkpot. Hermione was thoroughly engrossed in her book and her eyes never left its pages.

Suddenly Ron hesitated in his writing and glanced up. His gaze was toward to rear fireplace where Hermione was sitting. At first his face showed annoyance and irritation but as Harry watched his features softened into a sort of pleasant absent minded expression. As if coming out from under a trance, he shook his head and went back to writing his letter with equal vigor as before. It was look that lasted only for a second but for Harry is was a hair straightening discovery. Luna might be on to something, Harry thought, giving the blonde Ravenclaw more mental respect then before. He looked over at Hermione who was completely unchanged. He wondered if she suspected Ron's feelings for her. If Luna had been right about Ron, then surely she wasn't far off on Hermione. Harry was amazed when he realized that the cause of all this misery and bickering really steamed from feeling of unrequited love.

Harry left the common room for his bedroom, leaving the two unknowing lovers behind. As he lay down to go to sleep a wave of sadness washed over him. If Ron and Hermione did realize their feelings for each other, where would that leave him? Ever since he had come to Hogwarts he had relied on Ron and Hermione for their friendship and support. What would happen to him when Ron and Hermione left him behind? Without the two of them, Harry didn't know how he could face a world were more people than he could count wanted him dead. That unhappy thought moved into his brain and began to set up a little house for itself. Not matter what he did, Harry couldn't shake it off. Eventually he got to sleep several hours later, after Ron and the other had come up to bed.

His dreams were rough and fragmented. He dreamed that Dumbledore was asking him if it was alright if he took Dudley as his date for the Yule Ball. Harry was in the middle of explaining why Dudley wouldn't be able to make it to Hogwarts when he saw Ron and Hermione come into the room arm in arm looking happier than he had seen them in years. The memory of the dream made Harry feel sick to his stomach the next morning.