Something To Sleep To

Something to sleep to

Sunlight streamed in, golden rays pouring into the open window. There was a slight breeze on that early morning, enough to send a chill up one's spine but gentle enough to ruffle one's hair slightly.

The cool breeze did exactly that to a figure laying on a large, cedar bed in the room. He had just woken up, yawned, and had blinked a few times before he realized something was wrong.

He turned and looked at the other side of the bed, wishing, hoping, praying, to see the face of his beloved, her form sleeping gently beside him.

But all that lay there was an imprint of a body, a body that had disappeared long ago.

She's his yellow brick road,
Leading him on,
And letting him go as far,
As she let's him go
Going down to nowhere

A short, slim, curly haired woman stood in her apartment, trying to piece together the act she had just committed. She was Hermione Granger, who had shared an intimate love with her friend, Harry Potter, the night before. And she had Apparated from his London flat, with no explanation or reason at all, for deserting him. She needed to sort things out, to try to understand why she had done this, why she had turned from a sweet, lovable bookworm to the heartless, cruel beauty that she was now. She gazed into the mirror that hung on her wall, it's edges gilded with gold.

She puts on her makeup,
The same way she did yesterday,
Hoping everything's the same,
But everything has changed

Harry was speechless. He thought that she had changed for the better. He wished that she was still the same person that she had been when he had first seen her on his first trip to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, on the Hogwarts Express, when they were innocent children of eleven years. But he knew, with this heart, mind, and soul, that she was different.

She was cruel now, cruel in a strange way, that made you believe that nothing would ever change, that she would go on being the same person with a new point of view. This wasn't true, and he needed to find out why, to search, in his memory, a place where everything had gone wrong.

He needed to go back to the very beginning.

They had been friends since first year at Hogwarts, yes, but the changes had occurred when he was a fifth year, during the Easter Holidays. The smells, sounds, and sights were still fresh in his mind. The smells of the flowers seeping into the castle, their sent of innocence ringing true. The sounds of whispers in his ears, of promises never kept. And the sights, oh, the sights, of Hermione reading, Hermione smiling, Hermione kissing him, showing her true colors, and he loved her back with all of his heart, and he thought that she did the same.

Ron hadn't been home during the Easter Holidays that year, and Harry wasn't entirely sure what the reason was for it. Something about a family reunion, maybe. It wasn't important. But what happened after he and Hermione told him was. He remembered the exact look on Ron's face right then, a mix of astonishment and possibly jealousy. Harry had known, then and there, that Ron had loved Hermione from the very beginning, and he, Harry, had taken that away. Harry knew he would always feel guilty for unknowingly betraying his best friend.

And he knew that the Dream Team wasn't what he thought it was.

Though he and Ron still remained very close, almost like brothers, he knew that under all of the memories and good times, there was still that feeling that nothing would ever be right between them.

But back to Hermione. They had been in love, school sweethearts, and then Harry thought that their love was invincible, that nothing could break the chain of passion that they shared. How wrong he was.

In my mind,
Everything we did was right,
Open your eyes,
I will still be by your side

The mirror reflected a person that Hermione saw as a stranger. Or maybe this is what she had become, but she hadn't realized it. Maybe the old Hermione, the bookworm Hermione, was now a stranger. She didn't know what to think anymore.

She knew that at school, she was still the same person. The only difference was that she was now Harry's girlfriend. Nothing had changed with her outlook on life, nothing at all. She hardly saw Harry in a different light at all. She had loved him since she first laid eyes on him, on the Hogwarts Express. The only difference, really, was that now he was hers.

"Maybe that's what started it all," thought Hermione aloud, a bitter tone to her voice, "I thought he was mine."

The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. The new her had started right after graduation, when this theory came to mind. He loved her helplessly, like a puppy dog to it's owner. It was then that she knew that whatever she did, he would love her.

So that's where it had started. Her flings with other boys, some school friends, some not. She had cheated on Harry time after time and he forgave her regardless. She had a four-month affair with Viktor Krum. She had slept with Seamus Finnegan after meeting him in a bar two years after graduation. Dean Thomas and her had kissed passionately in her closet when she had owled him a few times, just to keep in touch, and he had Apparated to her apartment, just to say hello. Hermione shuddered as she thought of other things. The only people who she hadn't done anything with were Neville Longbottom, for he had a wife, Susan Bones, Ron, who was to close for her to hurt, and the rest of the Weasleys. She had even done something with Draco Malfoy and she shuddered to think about it.

She looked in the mirror again. She knew what she had become. A slut, a tease, a good-for-nothing. And worst of all, she had hurt Harry.

She didn't even think about what she did next. She was so angry at seeing herself, the new her. She pulled the mirror from it's fastening and threw it to the other side of the room. It hit the wall, shattering into a million silver pieces, each showing her reflection.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the one who took the fall...

How could I,
Have ever been so blind?
You give me something,
To sleep to at night

Harry still lay in the bed, watching Hermione's imprint fade. He had taken her back those countless times, but he had never guessed why she had toyed with him. Maybe she had never guessed as well.

But she had owned him, like he was a slave, a tease that wouldn't go away, no matter how he felt.

But it still didn't answer why she left him, even if she loved him.

He wakes up to the sound,
So scared that she's leaving,
He wishes that she were still,
Asleep next to him,
Hoping she will change

Was she afraid of something, afraid that something would come over if she stayed?

Hermione was afraid. Afraid of what would happen if she stayed by his side. Afraid that she would hurt him again, even though she loved him. She had disappeared after her flings started to scare her. She had vanished without a trace. That was two years ago and she had finally gone back, back to the room of the man, the man that was not hers, but the man she belonged to.

She knew why she ran away. Could she, who had caused so much heartbreak, want to stay with Harry? Did she want to risk losing him? He could do the same thing that she had done to him? Did she want to risk it?

In my mind,
Everything we did was right,
Open your eyes,
I will still be by your side

She did.

Harry was still in the bed. He knew he wouldn't get up for work that day. Nothing seemed meaningful anymore. Nothing at all.

Suddenly, there was a loud pop in the room and Hermione stood at the foot of his bed.

A tingle went down his spine and he jumped out of the cool, white sheets, thankful that he had put his boxers on.

"Harry..."

There was silence in the room. The world was just waking up, the birds chirping, the cruel world not yet ready with it's loud inventions. The two stood there. Even in his boxers, Harry had an air about him that made him dignified and brave and righteous all rolled into one.

"Harry..." Hermione felt the tears coming and the lump in her throat swelled up, almost choking her words.

"Harry...I'm....sorry....I...I don't know why....I'm afraid....I'm afraid, Harry."

She crumpled onto the floor, sobbing. She didn't know the last time she had done this, though she knew it had been a long time ago. She expected him not to react, to stare at her coldly. She wasn't even sure if she wanted him to, she wanted him to be rid of her, to stop the hurting inside.

But he didn't. He dropped down to her and patted her back and whispered in her ear, "It's all right. I still love you, I still love you..."

She let her head rest against his chest, breathing his scent in, wishing that she could change the past and change the woman she had become.

No, it was the woman she had been. Because she had changed yet again after admitting she was afraid. And she would never go back. Never.

"I'm...sorry," she started, yet again, "I..was....wrong....I couldn't....no control....I hurt you, I shouldn't have....I'm sorry.....I love you.....Never again.....I love you...."

"It's ok, Herm, I love you too, I know you won't hurt me anymore."

Silence followed once more. He looked down, his green eyes met her bronze ones. Slowly, their lips met, showing that nothing would be the same, but a brighter future lay ahead.

In my mind,
Everything we did was right,
Open your eyes,
I will still be on your side,
How could I,
Have been so blind?
You give me something,
To sleep to at night

Paradise was found again.