Once in a Blue Moon

CHAPTER 7

31 December - Hogwarts - Morning

Pilar came up the main stairs to the school, the black dog form of Sirius Black padding silently at her side.

Their patrol of the school grounds had been a hard slog, through freshly fallen snow. Fortunately, the snow also made it possible to see where any of their enemies had tried to enter.

Pilar pushed back the hood of her cloak, revealing a face with eyes bright and cheeks reddened by the cold. She reached up to swing her cloak off, and found the hands of Severus Snape already removing it and shaking the loose snow from its folds.

"Well?" he asked.

Sirius transformed back and looked at him. "Not a thing. No tracks, nothing."

"Then how did they get in?" snarled Snape. "We know that the enemy has been here - but so far none of us has found anything."

Pilar looked speculative. "What if they didn't need to get in?" she asked. "Look, let's not pretend any more. We know that there are at least three students here who will be passing information to their parents - and that their parents are firmly in Voldemort's camp. Therefore, it's reasonable to believe that they are also receiving instructions and carrying them out."

"A bit far fetched," said Snape. "After all, they're only children."

Pilar's temper snapped. "For crying out loud, Severus, they're what - 15 or 16? That's quite old enough to do what has been done here - and don't forget what we were capable of at that age. And why we did it."

Sirius looked sharply at them both. There was definitely something there she was reminding the Potions Master of - something that was painful for them both if their attitudes were anything to go by. He tried to remember that year - and realised that there were no incidents standing out - except for his highly enjoyable liaison with the younger Pilar.

"She could be right," he put in, "Some of those Slytherin's will do anything."

"And you're just as bad!" yelled Pilar - now in a fine temper. She was tired and knew she was being bat tempered - but made no attempt to be reasonable. She just plain didn't want to. "I wasn't just talking about Slytherin's here - in fact the only Slytherin I had in mind was Draco Malfoy. No - I know of at least one Ravenclaw and one Hufflepuff student whose parents are Voldemort supporters - and suspect a Gryffindor lass of having leanings that way."

"I am trying to use some logic here towards these attacks. And frankly, I believe that our young Draco is behind them, after..."

"And here is not the place to discuss this," said Snape quickly - standing aside as a pair of students came past in the corridor - both of them eyeing the group of teachers keenly. "Too many eyes. Too many ears."

Pilar took a deep breath. She snatched her cloak from Snape's arm - where he had been absentmindedly stroking it as they spoke. "I am going for a hot bath," she said. "Don't bother to see me to my rooms - frankly I can't stand the sight of either of you," she finished irrationally.

She spied Lupin with young Harry coming towards them. "Oh god," she said, "More males! Just what I need," and stalked off - much to the surprise of all four males.

As Pilar headed towards her rooms, she fumed. Nobody had remembered. Not even him. And last night they had argued. It had started off innocuously enough - he had been teasing her and had mentioned a fling he had during the summer. She'd snapped - conveniently forgetting her own summer love affairs - and had accused him of not loving her any more.

Things had gone downhill from there - and they had both said some things that both believed were unforgivable. Swearing that they hated each other. That they never wanted to see the other again.

And she had missed the morning cup of tea that morning. But more than that, she had been hurt that nobody had remembered.

Today was her birthday.

Lupin and Harry were astonished at Pilar's outburst and both glared at Snape - deciding he had to be to blame. "What have you done to her?" asked Harry, "Can't you be nice to anybody?"

Snape glared at his least-favourite student. He may be forced to co-operate with him, but that didn't mean they were equals. He drew himself up and looked down his nose at Harry. "It may be holidays, Potter," he spat, "But I am still a teacher here and can give you detention. Your championing of Professor de Lisle is admirable - however I don't have time for the rantings of hysterical females."

Lupin put his hand on Harry's shoulder, "Then what is going on?" he asked.

Sirius looked at the other three - "Pilar's got a bee in her bonnet and thinks that a student is organising these attacks. Personally - I think she may be right. I couldn't find a trace of anything this morning - and I know that neither of you have found anything inside the castle."

Snape looked around the corridor. "Do you think that you could speak louder?" he hissed, "and possibly be in a more public place to discuss this? The fact that nobody can find an entry point means that somebody inside the school is doing this - and that's something that we have to report to the Headmaster."

With that, he swept down the corridor, towards the statue that guarded the entrance to Dumbledore's study. The other three followed silently - not willing to admit that he was right.

Dumbledore was waiting for them in his Study and did not seem to be surprised when Sirius voiced Pilar's theory. "I myself have thought that it would be somebody inside," he said. "Did Professor de Lisle have any suspects?"

"She mentioned Draco Malfoy"

"It does follow," said Snape reluctantly. "After all, Lucius turned up here looking for Black. And Draco does have the skill to set these attacks up."

"I agree," said Dumbledore. "Sirius, we can't keep your presence a secret in the School anymore - nor can we keep hiding that the three of you and Pilar have been doing more than teaching during the past few months."

Harry looked surprised - he knew that Sirius had been doing extra work for Dumbledore, and had supposed Snape was still doing whatever it was that he had been asked to do - but had not thought that Lupin and Professor De Lisle had been involved as well.

Dumbledore looked at him directly - seemingly able to see his thoughts. "Yes Harry," he said, "You've had some very good guardians these past couple of months. And they've managed to stop some very serious attacks on the school and on you."

"Me?" said Harry, "But I never noticed."

"You weren't supposed to, Boy," said Snape. "It was supposed to be unobtrusive!"

Harry looked at Snape - why couldn't he let up just a bit?

"Harry, Voldemort still wants you dead - and that means his Death Eaters will be doing everything they can to get to you. And you're not his only target at the school. I can name two other people he wants dead almost as much as he wants you - and a dozen more who are in danger," explained Dumbledore, "and I'm not even including myself in that list."

"Pilar is right to look to Draco Malfoy. I am always suspicious when he stays over the holidays - given his mother's attachment to the boy. I think we are going to have to put a watch over him - as well as keeping one on young Harry and the other students in danger."

"Severus, Draco is in your house, so I am afraid that the burden of this watch is going to fall on you."

Snape nodded grimly. As usual, however, his face showed nothing but a faint contempt for the world.

Dumbledore looked around suddenly. "Where is Professor de Lisle?" he asked - as if realising for the first time she was not there.

"She went storming off - upset about something," said Lupin. "Funny - she used to love New Year's Eve as I remember."

"She's been a bit funny all morning," put in Sirius, "Nearly bit my head off when we set out - it was like she couldn't bear the sight of me."

"Well, give her time," said Dumbledore, "And keep out of her way."

The four of them left the study and walked down the corridor. For once, they had something to plan - something that drew them together.

They reached the staff room, and entered. Harry looked around him - he had only been in here once before. "Perhaps she thinks you've forgotten" he said.

"Nah," said Sirius, "Can't be that - she loves surprises."

"And a surprise birthday party is always a hit with women," put in Lupin.

Professor McGonagall walked in and heard the last of the remarks. "I have just seen Professor de Lisle," she said, "and wished her Happy Birthday. For some reason she burst into tears and muttered that at least one person had remembered." She looked sternly at the males before her, and three of them felt themselves reverting the age of the fourth years before her stern gaze.

"You three are supposed to be her friends," she snapped, "And this surprise party is a lovely thought - but you could at least have wished her Happy Birthday!"

"But, we thought that it would make the surprise more....." started Sirius.

McGonagall looked exasperated. "Gentlemen," she said, "I know that you have not had much to do with females since you left school - but surely you haven't forgotten what you did know? And just think - how would you feel if you thought your friends had forgotten your birthday?"

She picked up the book she had come to get and left the room with the words: "I leave it to you to think about."

Snape sat in the closest chair. He had been ignoring his birthday for years - and realised that he had just had one - which he would have totally ignored as well except for the card and gift from Pilar. He shifted uneasily. Stupid how the woman managed to creep into your life until you couldn't imagine it without her.

Lupin moved to the window. He had spent many hours talking with Pilar. Their friendship had deepened, and what had begun with her being a sort of substitute had become a true and fast friendship - with both of them sharing confidences and companionship. Funny how she had crept into his life until he couldn't imagine it without her.

Sirius flung himself on the couch and stretched full length. Pilar had always been a pleasant memory - he had planned to look her up when he had been in America, but had found other diversions. He looked over at Harry, and thought how she had given them both a guiding hand over the past few days. Strange how she had managed to creep into their lives until they couldn't imagine it without her.

Harry looked at the three adults who had been sworn enemies. He grinned suddenly as he remembered the planning sessions they had had for this party. How the enemies had become friends united to do something nice for another friend. Professor de Lisle might be as moody as they come - but underneath it all he had found her to be a sympathetic listener - even if her advice was pretty hopeless. He wondered what Ron and Hermione would think when they came back and found how she had crept into their lives.

He stood up suddenly - he needed to be with people his own age. For once, the companionship of his godfather felt stifling. "I'll see you later," he said, leaving the staffroom and heading back to the Gryffindor common room. He was pleased to see a couple of other students there - and joined happily in their game of cards. For a time, he forgot all about Voldemort, and danger.

New Year's Eve - Hogwarts

Pilar had cried until she felt she could cry no more. She was sure her love for him was ended. Was this how they would have gone on? Would they have argued and sniped at each other over the years until there was nothing left?

She splashed cold water on her face - and sat down on the broad windowsill - now covered with a bright rug and cushions. She looked down over the peaceful snow-clad ground, her spirit being calmed by its raw beauty.

She still loved him. Their argument had been borne of jealousy and fear. She knew she had started it and provoked it all the way along. Jealous of those other women - faceless, nameless women. Fear that he would find her wanting.

She still loved him - and the grim resolve that had turned her from a mediocre dark arts student, into an expert in the field was turned to a new goal.

She would win him back - and try to become again the woman he had fallen in love with.

She stood up abruptly and went to the wardrobe. Not the blue silk this time, she decided. She looked and pulled out a simple gown of purple velvet and lace.

It was New Year's Eve. And with a new year brought new hope. She hummed as she headed towards a the bathroom to get ready for the festivities of the evening.

He sat silently in his rooms - looking at the gift he had bought for her birthday - to be given to her publicly at the party. And at the one he had not given her.

Their argument had been genuinely acrimonious - the years of bitterness spilling out, and he wished that he had not mentioned the woman from the summer.

And he wondered what she would say if she knew he'd been celibate for most of their years apart. His life had, after all, not been conducive to having love affairs.

And he still loved her. Loved her with a ferocity and intensity that frightened him.

His resolve hardened. He would win her back. By summer - she would be his. And he would make sure that Dumbledore agreed to their making their relationship public.

After all these years - after all the pain and emptiness, he felt he deserved it. He grinned suddenly. He still had fond thoughts of a relationship with Pilar when they were at school, when both of them had changed partners on a regular basis - and wondered if his third wooing of her would be as enjoyable as the first two.

Pilar walked towards the great hall, determined that she would ignore her display of bad temper that morning. After all - she was entitled to it!

As she pushed the doors opened, she wondered at the silence. Unusual.

She walked in, and was suddenly grabbed. Lights flashed and a chorus of "Happy Birthday!" was yelled at her.

She pulled away from the hands and looked irritated around. "No need to deafen me," she snapped, and took a step forwards.

"And who is responsible for this?" she asked - trying hard to look stern - trying to conceal the delight at what had been done. It didn't work. Unknown to her, her face had come alight. Her eyes wide with joy and her lips softened with happiness.

The hall had been transformed into a fairyland - gay banners and garlands of flowers decorated it, with the table before her spread with streamers and what looked like her favourite foods.

Her eyes shone with joy as she repeated her question. "Who is responsible?"

Dumbledore came towards her and put his hands on her shoulders "Your friends," he said, "Your friends who wanted to do something special for you." He led her towards the head of the table - to where her chair had been placed. "Tonight, this is your place."

She stopped suddenly and looked at the faces around her - seeking the three that she had thought the worst about. "Thank you," she said simply, "Thank you for remembering."

The rest of the evening passed in a whirl of gaiety. She had received cards from the students, and had been surprised at her gifts.

She had been presented with a large box - gay streamers coming from it. Professor McGonagall had instructed her to pull on a streamer and she had done so - revealing a gift. How original! She thought, and had marvelled even more when McGonagall had confided that was how her family always gave birthday gifts.

The biggest surprise had been the final gift - attached to a ribbon decorated with her house symbols. It was a large wooden box - intricately carved and painted. On the inside, it was velvet lined, and had a beautiful china plaque in it that stated it came with love from the members of Ravenclaw house. "How exquisite" she breathed, "This is definitely something I will treasure all my life."

She knew exactly what she would put in it.

Pilar groaned silently as Remus Lupin presented himself and asked her to dance. She felt like a prize as she had been passed from person to person to dance - and wanted nothing more than to sit somewhere and rest.

"Do you mind if we don't dance?" she asked, "I will admit to being completely danced out - and would rather sit and rest for a bit."

Remus smiled at her. "I don't mind," he said, "But you know that if you aren't dancing somebody will ask you."

Pilar groaned. "I don't mind being the belle of the ball," she said, "But even belles need to rest their poor aching feet."

"No problems," he said, "We can hide just outside the doors - after all, nobody will notice if you are gone for a short time."

The two of them crept out of the hall, and Pilar perched on the bottom step of the staircase leading to the next floor. Lupin sat down next to her and said, "I hope you liked your surprise. We didn't mean you to think we had forgotten."

Pilar laughed softly and leaned her head against his shoulder, feeling the need for human contact. "I must admit that this morning I was furious. And hurt. But this," and she waved her hand towards the hall, "makes up for it." She sighed suddenly - feeling tired to her very core.

"Anything wrong?" asked Lupin

"Just tired. Bone tired," she replied, moving slightly closer to him - his shoulder was suddenly the most comfortable thing she had felt all day.

"Here," he said, moving and putting his arm around her - it's warmth comforting to her as she nestled against his side.

"Mmm," she said, her heart racing all of a sudden.

They sat there for a while - his hand stroking up and down her arm absently. Their silence, that of friends who are comfortable enough without the need to fill the silence.

She couldn't remember putting her arms around him - clasping him lightly around the waist.

And neither could tell what impulse drove him to kiss her. And her to return the kiss.

It was a kiss of love - tender and caring. There was a faint hint of passion - but the main feeling was of loving.

She moved position, and they drew closer to each other. Their kiss deepening and becoming more passionate. She welcomed the feel of his tongue entering her mouth, and when his hand tentatively moved to stroke her breast, she thought she would explode.

He raised his head, and looked down at her - as if unsure as to what to do next. In his arms, she felt alive - and he wanted her more than anything else.

"Pilar," he began, and they both started as they heard voices coming closer - and saw the doors to the hall open.

They sprang apart - each sitting now on a different side of the staircase - just as Sirius and Harry came out of the Hall.

"There she is," said Sirius - an absurd hat on his head, "It's time to cut your birthday cake, and you've disappeared," He looked at the two people on the stairs "What on earth are you doing out here?" he asked. He felt his stomach knot - and realised he felt jealous. Of Remus! His oldest living friend! He shook his head slightly.

Pilar laughed. "I am out here trying to get away from you assassins!" she said.

"What assassins?" asked a voice, as Severus Snape stepped out of the door. "I see you found her," he said dryly.

"You lot," said, Pilar. She flung an arm dramatically over her brow, and shifted around on the steps, dropping herself into Remus lap. "Determined to end my life by unceasing dancing until I was forced to appeal for rescue!"

After astonishment at suddenly finding himself with a lapful of Pilar (and whilst relishing the thought, it was most inconvenient - given his current state), Remus Lupin found himself laughing at her histrionics. After all - he had not brought her out here to seduce her - had he? She had asked to sit somewhere quiet.

He stood up abruptly, hauling her up with him. He bowed to her and offered his arm - in the manner of an 18^th century gallant. "And is the Lady refreshed now?" he asked.

Her eyes caught his - and he was surprised to see the passion still smouldering there. And knew he had not fooled her one little bit. She knew exactly what state he was in.

"Thank you kind Sir," she said, entering into the playlet, "I have had a most refreshing interlude. One I would like to repeat again," she finished pointedly, her eyes not leaving his.

Both of them were suddenly aware of Sirius and Severus looking closely at them, and Pilar laughed, tossing her hair in a way all three knew well, her eyes flirting with each man in turn.

The three men all looked at each other - for the first time they felt that they were rivals for this woman. Suddenly, things didn't seem so straightforward any more.

Lupin stepped out of the cold shower - shivering. He dried himself and got into bed. The cold shower had been necessary, and he decided that another one might be necessary soon unless he could forget the feel of her in his arms. Of her lips against his. The way her breast felt under his hand.

He looked at the goblet of smoking potion next to his bed and sighed as he drank it.

She could never love a werewolf.

Severus Snape sat in his dungeon Office, a mocking expression on his face. There was nothing special about Pilar de Lisle, he thought.

For all that his students thought about him, he'd managed to attract much more attractive women than her.

He wished he knew what had happened between her and Lupin on the stairs - obviously more than resting her feet - if the confusion on their faces was anything to go by.

He sighed as he stood and left the dungeon.

He knew that she could never love a man as bitter as him.

Sirius Black said goodnight to his godson and walked down to the main hall. He transformed into the huge black dog and loped through the grounds.

He needed to work off the charge he felt from that evening - and the guilt.

He stopped suddenly and changed back - sitting under a tree, heedless of the snow on the ground and the cold in the air.

It was obvious to him that they had interrupted something - he knew Remus too well and knew that look of chagrin.

But why did he feel jealous? Pilar was nothing to him - was she? Definitely not what anyone would think was his "type." He'd certainly not had trouble finding sexual partners since he escaped from Azkaban - his "outlaw" status seemed to attract women.

And Pilar was certainly nothing special in the looks department. Just another woman, really. A trim figure, certainly, but certainly nothing spectacular. Except for those eyes. They were certainly the most beautiful thing about her - and he felt warm when he thought of those eyes gazing into his - looking at him only.

He stood and dusted the snow off his trousers. His reputation with women was one of danger - he knew that he was held up as the archetypical "bad boy" - and knew that the years in Azkaban had changed him.

He knew that there was still a large part of him that was dead.

She could never love somebody like him.

In his study, Dumbledore passed a glass of port to Professor McGonagall.

"Did I make a mistake, Minerva?" he asked, "Bringing her back. Bringing the four of them together?"

"I don't know, Albus," she said. "Certainly it was always going to be an interesting group - but I must admit, I had not thought that she would change as much as she has since her return."

Dumbledore smiled, "I'm glad," he said, "She's becoming the girl she once was." His smile vanished, "But I had not expected other developments," he admitted ruefully. "Certainly I knew that there would be adjustments for the two of them - in fact I had expected things to come to an end well before now."

"They have both changed too much from what they were," agreed Minerva McGonagall - remembering the young couple she had known so many years ago. Hard to believe they were the same two people as they were now. "But I see no reason to worry - they are all adults and will have to work things out. And provided they are discreet - I see no other difficulties."

Dumbledore agreed with her "The pair of them have been very discreet," he said, "But this evening something has changed. And I'm not sure their love will survive it."

McGonagall stood up, placing the empty glass on the desk. "Albus, you can't clear your conscience hoping," she said, "You asked if you've made a mistake. No. If your main reason was to reunite lovers, then I would say yes. If that was what you wanted, then you should have sent him to her.

"But you wanted all four of them here because they were the strongest block of power you could draw together. Each of them with strengths that compliment the weaknesses of the others. Each of them has had a life that has been touched and had some aspect destroyed by Voldemort.

"Each of them have shown their loyalty in the past - and although they don't say it - they are all fiercely protective of the school.

"No, Albus. You've not made a mistake. But nobody ever said that their task would be easy. After all - she is the one thing in common those boys have," she smiled briefly, "There was a time when I thought Miss Pilar was going to take up residence in that bush. I can also remember several wagers as to just who she would be flushed out with.

"I can't help thinking that she is the key that will bring them all together - and turn them into the power block that you are hoping they will be." She stepped through the doorway, "Be at ease, Albus. The mistake will be when Voldemort and his followers underestimate them. And I dearly hope I will be there to see it when it happens"

She left the room, and Dumbledore was left with his conscience. "But will I atone for destroying those two lives," he said softly.