A Lion's Heart

The morning of August 31 began with Jaina unable and unwilling to believe it had actually arrived. It was too soon for an entire month to have passed since her dad's birthday and falling in love with Quidditch. Since seeing her mother in photo albums looking happier than Jaina had ever known her, her father for the first time. Since being invited to Hogwarts.

As had become a bit of a routine, her eyes slid first to the calendar tacked up to the wall, which indeed proclaimed the date to be the thirty-first of August. She then looked over to the two envelopes laying on her nightstand. A few weeks ago, she'd have read them, but they had long since been memorized. The first was her acceptance letter and school list; the second envelope held confirmation of her reply and her train ticket, dated September 1. Tomorrow.

She rose, deep in thought and heard the sound behind her that meant the bed was remaking itself. "My calendar must be wrong."

"You know it's not," came a reply in a very familiar voice, "and pretending it is won't change anything."

Jaina turned, looking unsurprised to see a girl who appeared as Jaina wished she did - bright green eyes, silky hair, and less of a tomboyish air about her - sitting on her bed. Her hair was what her mum called "curly" and she called "tumbleweed."

She very carefully kept her back to the girl for several minutes before saying, "Tomorrow at this time, I'll find out I've been having an especially strange dream."

"No," the girl replied pointedly, "you will be at King's Cross Station, getting ready to leave for Hogwarts."

There was a long pause before the girl continued, "Try not to be so excited about it."

Jaina sighed and faced her at last. "Why am I so bothered about this?"

"Isn't it obvious? You don't want to leave your mum."

She threw up her arms. "Well, should I? I don't want her to be lonely."

The girl leaned forward so that she was nearly standing instead of sitting on the bed. "Don't confuse lonely with alone, Jane. Your mum has always been lonely, well, as long as you've known her, anyway."

"I know, Lil," she replied, pulling the chair out from her desk and sitting on it, "but at least she's had me to keep her company. And I'm sure she's qualified enough to teach me magic here. Then I wouldn't have to abandon her."

Smiling empathetically, Lil continued, "Maybe, maybe not, but in the same way that you've seen your mum's loneliness, she has recognized yours. She wants you to have friends and be happy, and if that means she's alone, she's prepared herself to let you go."

"What if I don't want to be let go?" Jaina asked, realizing that she sounded about five years old. "What if I don't make friends? I mean, I haven't had any practice. Maybe there's a book-"

"Stop being silly; there are plenty of books. But I promise you won't need them. Everyone worries about making friends when they go to a new place. Your mum told you about how she worried about making friends when she first went, but then she found your dad and Ron. And your dad had never had a friend before Hogwarts; he met his best friends on the train there. Things will work out just fine."

"But if they don't, you'll be there, right? I mean, you are coming too?"

The girl laughed. It sounded exactly like Jaina's, so much so that she had to check to make sure she wasn't actually the one laughing.

"Stop it! I hate when you do that," she said, scowling.

Lil stopped but grinned at her as if trying very hard not to burst out again. "For someone so smart, you can be pretty thick sometimes. Of course I'm going with you, though I daresay between your new friends and schoolwork, you may find you don't need me. But if you do, I'll be there. There's nowhere you can go that you can't bring me along."

"Good... but you know, I've been thinking maybe I won't be going after all?"

Lil raised an eyebrow. "I can't wait to hear this. Why's that?"

"Well, I don't have anything. I suppose we have the spell books I need around here somewhere, but I also need a cauldron, wand, and robes, among other things. I'm supposed to leave tomorrow; how will I find it all in one day?"

"That I cannot answer. You should ask your mum."

"Right."

"Well, have a good day. I'll be around next time you need me to tell you things you already know."

"Sod off."

"Don't let your mum hear you saying that."

Jaina had been studying the contents of her dresser during Lil's last comment but didn't need to turn around to know the other girl was no longer in the room. She dressed meticulously, apprehensive about bringing up the topic of Hogwarts with her mum. They'd been fairly open about the subject at first. Her mum told her stories, and she listened wide-eyed and attentive. Jaina found a copy of Hogwarts, A History on a shelf, and they discussed interesting details over dinner. It only lasted about a week before she sensed her mum's eyes clouding whenever the school was mentioned, and though she'd not given any other indication that she was uncomfortable talking about it, that had been enough to stem the flow of Jaina's thoughts and questions.

The idea of bringing up schoolbooks and cauldrons and wands at the breakfast table was settling uncomfortably in her stomach as she buttoned up her blouse and slowly made her way to the door, turning back only once to grab a light summer robe and satisfy an afterthought. Trudging down the stairs, she picked up on the familiar breakfast scents of toast and coffee, which helped lift her spirits a little. There was something very comfortable about breakfast that made it very hard to dread a conversation with her mum.

Hermione smiled brightly as her daughter entered the kitchen and was rewarded with one very similar in feature and intensity and a quick hug. She leaned down and kissed Jaina on the forehead, spotting the robes still clutched in one fist as she straightened.

"Good," she commented, nodding at them, "we won't have to waste any time sending you back up for them."

Furrowing her eyebrows and giving her mum a look that surely spoke of confusion, Jaina questioned, "Are we going somewhere?"

Passing her a plate of toast and egg, Hermione nodded. "You surely didn't think I was going to send you off to Hogwarts without your school supplies?"

The expression on her daughter's face clearly said that's exactly what she thought, and so she continued quickly, "We're going to Diagon Alley."

"Where's that?" Jaina wondered, finally finding her voice.

"London," Hermione replied, joining the girl at the table.

She worked this over in her mind for several minutes while chewing her toast. "But we've been to London before. I don't recall any magical shops."

The corners of her mum's mouth twitched into a smile. "We've never been there before. It's a little... out of the way."

"Oh." Jaina felt like asking one or all of the million questions that had just occurred to her, but instead settled for shoveling down the rest of her toast as fast as she possibly could. That accomplished, she threw her dishes in the sink, thrust her arms into the robes, and sat impatiently back down, watching her mum deliberately sip her coffee, eyes twinkling in amusement.

When her mum got up to clear her place from the table, Jaina moved to stand in the doorway, but was surprised to see Hermione pick up what appeared to be a flowerpot from the windowsill.

"We're going by Floo Powder?" The girl could hardly suppress the excitement in her voice. She'd seen her mum travel daily to and from work through the fireplace for years, but had never actually been allowed to do it before.

"Yes, you're quite old enough now. I would have taken you on your first Floo trip to the Quidditch game, but there weren't any grates at the stadium. I'm glad now it didn't work out. This is much better."

Jaina followed her mum to the fireplace and watched her light a magical fire with her wand. She felt the first twinge of anxiety as she took a handful of the powder and, at her mum's bidding, threw it in the flames.

"Would you like to go first?" Hermione asked, placing a hand on her daughter's back.

Eyes wide, the girl frantically shook her head and tried to take several steps back but only succeeded in one before her mother gently pushed her forward.

"It's fine," she intoned quietly. "I'll go ahead, but you have to promise to follow. Don't forget to take some more powder."

"Right. Okay. I just want to, er, watch-watch you do it." Jaina realized she was talking much too fast and wondered if her mum understood one word she'd just said.

Glancing uneasily at the girl, Hermione stepped confidently into the fire, stated "Diagon Alley," and vanished.

Jaina swallowed hard and stared, transfixed, at the flames.

"Your mum will worry."

In her peripheral vision, she saw Lil watching her from an armchair nearby. "Don't be silly," she continued. "You've seen her travel by Floo a million times before. She wouldn't let you do it if it weren't safe. Besides, it's not like real fire."

The girl nodded quickly, feeling as if her head was about to come unattached from her body.

"You're right," she agreed, taking a step forward and throwing another handful of Floo Powder in. "It's not real fire. It's not real fire."

Jaina talked herself all the way into the grate. Her confidence improved greatly when she didn't burst into flames instantaneously. She debated between keeping her eyes open to see whatever was about to happen and closing them so she wouldn't have to see what was about to happen. In the end, she shut them tightly, pressed her arms up against her sides, and said firmly, "Diagon Alley."

Thoughts of ever opening her eyes fled as she spun wildly. The roar of wind in her ears was deafening, increasing in volume for a brief zing every few seconds that Jaina guessed must be other grates. After an indeterminable length of time, icy hands slapped her face, causing her to yelp, and just when she thought the trip would never end, she fell to the ground in a heap.

A pair of hands she knew were her mother's lifted her up and began to brush her off. She opened her eyes to her mum's bright grin fixed on her.

"How was it?"

"All right." Now that her stomach had settled, Jaina realized that she hadn't really minded it so much. She smiled, dusted the last of the soot from her robes, and had a look around.

They seemed to be in a building devoted strictly to Floo travel. Only one room as far as she could tell since there was only one door, it was large and open with sparsely occupied chairs sitting back to back all the way up the middle. The grate she had arrived in was behind her, and a matching one sat against the opposite wall. A sign hung above either half of the room. The one above them read, "Arrivals;" the other proclaimed "Departures." At the desk opposite the door sat a middle-aged wizard with an enormous pot of what could only be Floo powder.

Utterly fascinated, Jaina jumped when Hermione gently steered her by the elbow towards the door.

"There's much more to see," she promised as she pulled open the door.

The girl didn't know where to look first. She could have never dreamed such a place existed. Shops - wizard shops - lined the narrow alley. As they walked, she tried to look everywhere at once. Quidditch, books, owls, cauldrons, ice cream.

"I'm glad I waited to bring you," her mum was saying. "Once Hogwarts letters go out in July, Diagon Alley is swarmed with students and teachers until about a week before term starts. Today everything is much quieter. Oh, look! There's Gringotts. We won't be going in today. Perhaps next time."

They stopped in front of Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions. Her mum handed her a pouch, which, judging by the clinking noises it made, was full of money.

"I won't be much help to you in here," Hermione told her. "Go on in and get your robes. I'll take care of your cauldron, potions supplies, parchment, quills, and ink. Once you're done, meet me next door at Flourish and Blott's."

"All right." Jaina watched her mum stroll up the alley and enter the cauldron shop. She stood staring at the door for several minutes before realizing that she must look like an idiot and tentatively pushing the door open.

A short, plump witch smiled cheerfully from behind the counter. "Hogwarts, dear?" she queried. At the girl's nod, her smile spread wider. "I'd thought we were all done for the summer," she chattered, leading Jaina to an area in the back.

She stepped up onto a stool. As Madame Malkin measured her, she kept up a lively stream of conversation.

"I don't recall seeing you before. Is it your first time?"

"Yes," she replied, deciding that she very much liked the jovial and grandmotherly Madame Malkin.

"It's so nice to be able to chat with you," Madame bubbled, pinning up a hem. "I'm normally so busy during the summer. What's your name dear?"

"Jaina," she answered and added, as an afterthought, "Potter."

Madame Malkin looked suddenly like she'd just swallowed a pin. Her eyes stared at Jaina's forehead for an unnaturally long time. Neither of them moved or made a sound for several minutes. Then, as if snapping out of a dream, the witch jumped back into action, finishing the girl's robes quickly and silently.

Unnerved, Jaina rubbed her forehead distractedly as she carried her newly purchased robes into the bookstore, where her mum was dropping several books into a new, black cauldron. She smiled at the first sight of her daughter but then glanced at her, puzzled.

"Is there something wrong with your forehead?" she wondered, taking the package.

"I don't think so, but it entranced Madame Malkin. She kept staring."

A small smile crossed her mum's face as she pulled Jaina's hand away from where it had been stroking. "Your forehead is fine, and I ought to give Madame Malkin more credit. I never guessed she would recognize you."

"She didn't. She asked my name. But anyway, what does all of this have to do with my forehead?"

Hermione glanced around the shop before leaning down conspiratorially, but instead of answering, she gently placed the tip of her finger against Jaina's skin and traced a zigzag on her forehead.

She stared into her mum's face feeling very confused. Then it dawned on her, or rather, struck her... like lightning.

"Oh, right." She glanced uneasily around the shop. "Mum, people are... looking at us."

Hermione sighed, lifted the cauldron, and led her across the store to the counter where they paid for the books.

"Recognition," she told her as they reentered the alley, "is something you'll have to get used to. At first, probably only if people know your name, but as you get older, I'm sorry to say," she grinned widely, "that you'll probably look just like me. I know right now it seems odd. In a year or two, it probably won't even faze you. Just take as much as you can in stride and wait it out."

"I can do that," Jaina said, noticing for the first time that they were stopped outside of Ollivander's, Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C. She felt her grin spreading; she'd been waiting eagerly for this since she'd first seen the shop, and she didn't need to be invited to open the door.

Inside, the air was thin and still. The light distilled as it entered the shop from the front window causing the shop to be rather dark for the bright sunny day happening outside. Through the dim light, Jaina could see shelves piled high with thin boxes. She approached the counter slowly, but before she reached it, an old man appeared from around a corner. His silvery eyes focused on her immediately, and before he'd even come into the main part of the shop, he greeted her.

"Miss Potter, I thought this might be the year I'd be seeing you."

"You know me?"

"Of course," he drawled with a smile, "you look just like your mother at that age. Maple and unicorn hair, ten and three quarters inches. Great for charms."

Jaina was just trying to decide if the wand maker fancied her mum when he continued, "I remember every wand I've ever sold, Miss Potter, and now it's your turn."

He began browsing the shelves, mumbling to himself. The girl turned to look at her mum, who gave her an encouraging nod and smile.

Mr. Ollivander returned, opening the box he carried and handing her a wand. "Willow and phoenix feather, eleven and a half inches."

And so began the long and surprisingly arduous task of finding the right wand. At first, Mr. Ollivander would hand one to her, she'd give it a wave, and he'd take it back. Now, she'd hardly touch it before he'd murmur, "No, no," and put it away. After what must have been the hundredth wand, he paused and smiled brightly at her as if he were having a wonderful time, which Jaina suspected he was.

"Your parents were very difficult customers, too," he informed her delightedly, nodding to her mum. "Your father especially took some time to find his wand. Find I say, but the wand really found him. The wand chooses the wizard, after all, Miss Potter. Yes, yes it does. In the end, he favored something a bit more unique."

Mr. Ollivander disappeared again. Jaina wished she could go sit down with her mum. Her arm ached from waving so many wands around, and while the wand maker clearly hadn't had this much fun in years, she was getting very discouraged.

When he returned, he carried not one box but five. "These," he said ominously, "are the most unusual wand combinations I carry. Let's see if you are destined for one of them."

The first, cherry and phoenix feather, was a definite no, but as Mr. Ollivander opened the second box, Jaina's heart began to beat faster. She felt lightheaded, and his voice saying, "Holly and unicorn hair, twelve inches even," sounded far away. Her fingers had barely touched the wood when a burst of heat traveled up the length of her arm and through her body. She didn't have to wave the wand to know it was the one, but with a sweep of her arm, brilliant blue and gold sparks showered down around them, causing the inside of the shop to brighten considerably.

Mr. Ollivander smiled a bit ruefully as though sad the search had ended. "I must say, you haven't disappointed me in the least. This is one of only three unicorn and holly wands I have seen in my lifetime, Miss Potter, and the oldest wand in this shop. May it serve you well."

Her mum paid for her wand, and they left. For only having visited three stores, Jaina was exhausted. Being here made her feel vulnerable, even with her mum by her side. She was tired of the stares and the whispers and the few bold enough to point.

"Is there anything else?" she inquired, hearing the fatigue in her voice.

"Just an animal... if you want one."

The girl felt a hint of her second wind. "Could I get an owl?"

Hermione gave her a one-armed hug. "That's just what I was hoping you'd say."

They had hardly walked in the door to Eeylops Owl Emporium when Jaina spotted the owl she wanted. She walked twice around the shop just in case, but in the end came back to the beautiful barn owl in the back corner. She turned to tell her mum about her choice and was startled not to see her. Wanting to find her but not wanting to leave her owl now that she'd found it, she was relieved when the clerk approached her until she started talking to her.

"Is this the one you've chosen, Miss Potter?"

She was sure that the woman had wandered into the path of a stray sonorous charm, she talked so loud. Other customers stopped in the midst of what they were doing and craned their necks to see her.

"Yes," she replied feeling her cheeks flush red and burn and fighting the sudden desire to flee.

The clerk brought down the owl and cage from where it had been hanging. "Your mother is waiting for you at the counter."

Reluctantly, she followed the abnormally loud witch to the front where she was surprised to see her mum place a tawny owl up onto the counter.

"Mum?"

Hermione smiled down at her daughter. "I wanted your owl to be able to stay with you at school, so I figured I'd better get one so I can send you things whenever I want."

Jaina grinned. This was a very good explanation as well as a comforting thought. They exited Eeylops, now very laden with all of her school things and the two owls. She was stunned when her mum opened both cages, and their owls flew away.

Her jaw must have been scraping the pavement, because Hermione quickly said, "Don't worry. They'll find their way home easily. Shall we?"

They made their way back to the Floo building, and this time Jaina had no qualms about going first, even with both cages. Her mum followed with the cauldron full of various supplies and the robes, and both owls turned up over dinner. All in all, the girl felt it had been a very good day.

Except for the parts that hadn't been so great. Hours after she should have been asleep, Jaina couldn't get over the unsettled feeling she'd gotten from being out in the real world, exposed. She felt nauseous when it occurred to her that she'd be doing the same thing again in a few hours... and without her mum by her side.

The girl was out of bed and padding up the hallway before she'd actually made a conscious decision to do so. She hadn't crawled into her mum's bed for many years, but tonight she wanted only to be held and to have her mum promise she wouldn't have to go in the morning.

Hermione was startled to feel the small body of her daughter slide under the sheets and into her arms. "Jaina?" she asked aloud, concerned.

"Do you mind if I stay?"

Jaina could see her smile in the darkness of the room. "Not at all. It'll be a sleepover for our last night, eh?"

"No... do you mind if I stay? If I don't go to school tomorrow?"

"What? Why?"

The girl pulled herself more tightly to her mum. "I know I said I'd try to get used to the recognition, but I'm-I'm scared of it. I don't want everyone to know me when I don't know anyone at all. I feel so vulnerable, like I can't even protect myself."

Not for the first time, Hermione perceived that her daughter was really an adult trapped in a child's body. "Are you up for a walk, Jane?"

"Do I have to get dressed?"

Hermione began talking as soon as they were out the door, her daughter's hand possessively holding her own. "I learned the Patronus charm in my fifth year from your dad, who had learned it two years before when dementors were stationed around Hogwarts, and he heard his mum being killed whenever they came near him." She paused, wondering if she'd said too much. "I'm sure you've read about the Patronus charm."

Jaina thought for a moment. "It's a protective spell. Turns dementors back."

"Exactly. Typically it takes the shape of something that will defend you, an aspect of yourself or of others who you feel will take care of you. For instance, your dad's was a stag, his father's Animagus form, so he always felt that his dad was looking out for him.

"Mine when I first saw it was an otter. Your dad said it was because I was unbearably cute and incredibly resourceful, and whenever I saw it, it made me think of him. When I was lonely or afraid, I would do the charm to see the otter and hear his voice in my head.

"It had never occurred to me that a Patronus could change, but when I performed the charm during the practical part of my NEWT exam, it was no longer an otter. The exam proctor commented to me that he'd never seen a Patronus that wasn't an animal before, and I was too stunned to say much of anything."

They paused while Hermione hesitated at a fork in the trail and chose the left.

"What was it?" Jaina asked feeling about to explode with curiosity.

"I'm getting to that. Your dad and I had planned to meet down by the lake that evening, and I was about to burst from waiting all day to tell him about the charms exam. I got there early, and I remember seeing him come up. His eyes were practically glowing bright green. He said everything was perfect. He loved me, and Voldemort was gone. He said we'd have each other forever without ever having to worry.

"I told him I had something to show him. He grinned at me and teased me for having nothing with me except my wand."

Hermione stopped at last in a small clearing in the woods. Jaina noted a worn stone bench next to the trickling creek. Her mum dropped her hand and pulled out her wand. She closed her eyes and seemed to be thinking hard.

"Expecto Patronum."

The quiet words hardly reached Jaina's ears, but the burst of silvery white light that erupted from her mum's wand was nearly blinding. A bolt of magical lightning shot straight ahead, traveling in a wide circle around them before fading away.

"Lightning," the girl whispered. "I should have guessed."

Hermione smiled. "Lightning. Your dad had been protecting me since I was eleven years old, but seeing the evidence of it made it very real for the first time to me. He looked at me; I thought he was going to cry, but instead, he pulled me into his arms."

She sat down, opting for the grass rather than the bench and beckoned her daughter to sit with her, drawing her into a tight embrace.

"He told me, 'Hermione, no matter the distance between us - whether I'm right here by your side or halfway across the world, I will love you more with every breath I take, and I will never stop protecting you because I am only as far away as your heart, and that's where magic comes from.'"

Jaina frowned. "But now he's gone."

Hermione stroked her daughter's hair. "He'll never really be gone, not when so many people still love and remember him. He's still protecting us, Jane. As long as you keep him in your heart, you'll never be alone. My Patronus proves that time and time again. If he were really gone, you'd have seen a little otter running around the clearing tonight. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Jaina breathed, feeling suddenly sleepy. "Thanks mum... love you."

"I love you, too, Jaina."

But Jaina didn't hear. She'd fallen soundly asleep in the security of her mum's arms. Hermione watched her daughter sleep, the soft light of the stars on her face only adding to the magical quality of the air she'd always felt here, and while she knew they should both be in their beds, it was a long time before her last tear fell and she was able to carry Jaina inside.