One Day

One Day

Chapter 8

Harry strode to the kitchen. He leaned on the counter and turned on the cold water. Mindlessly, he pulled off his glasses, threw them aside, and plunged his head into the icy cascade. 'What do you think you are doing? Get control, Potter!'

The water had the desired effect; it shocked some sense into him. This was not the time to let his emotions get the better of him. He needed to focus on Ginny, not his desires. His mind took him back to earlier, when he held her close as she slept. He had longed to hold her as he had. Though, he had always imagined it would be while Ginny was awake, him gazing into her doe-like eyes.

Harry knew he could not let his heart rule his head. He needed to master his feelings. If he didn't, he would scare her. She would think he was only using her, just like everyone else. He never wanted Ginny to feel that she was not safe with him. He had to bury those thoughts until he knew that Ginny was ready.

Oh, but she had felt so good in his arms. Being able to hold her, watch her sleep was such an extraordinary gift. She was so small, and fit so perfectly in his arms. Harry marveled as she had clung to him, seeming to seek comfort and protection that only he could provide. Ginny was so fragile, so delicate. He had wanted to keep her there, next to his heart, forever. Never before had Harry been this close to Ginny. He had been able to look upon her, her guard down.

He had studied her, memorizing the curve of her cheek, the way her nose slightly pointed up. Gently, he had laid a finger to her lips. They were so soft, so inviting. He had slowly traced them, wanting to remember how they felt on his. He had wanted to kiss her again, to feel her return the kiss. He had to control his burning emotions. They could too easily take over.

Harry had pushed the memory away. He knew what he needed to do, but he had never thought he would have to remind himself to be a gentleman. But Merlin, she looked so good in her... 'Get your mind out of the gutter!' He really needed to stop this train of thought. It wasn't helping.

Harry heard a small cough and stepped back from the sink. He stood up, and although he didn't have his glasses on, he knew who had broken his reverie. Ginny was standing in the doorway trying not to laugh. Harry turned off the tap, and ran his fingers through his hair. He found his glasses and put them back in place.

"I brought you a pillow and blanket. I don't think the sofa is very comfortable. You may want to enlarge it so your legs won't hang off the end." Ginny was staring at him as if he were a drowned rat. Well, he probably did look like a drowned rat.

"Thanks." Harry couldn't think of anything else to say, he was too busy looking at what she was wearing. Bloody hell, did she have to look beautiful in even the most innocent of outfits? He knew that she had purposely put on something that innocuous. However, Ginny didn't realize the emotions battling inside Harry. It made no difference that she was wearing a Weird Sisters t-shirt and boxers from the Irish National Team. She was still adorable. If he didn't stop looking at her, his tight reign would slip. Harry prayed that she would go back to her room soon.

Clearing her throat, Ginny said, "I just need to set up the coffee for tomorrow. I'll be out of your way in a minute." A small smile played at the corners of her mouth and she walked across the kitchen. She passed behind him, her arm barely brushing his. Harry thought that it was a good thing that cold water was dripping down his back at that exact same moment. It brought his attention away from Ginny's clothes.

He could do this. He could have a firm grip on his emotions and Ginny would never know. It wasn't so hard; he wasn't an Auror for nothing. Now, get yourself out of this room before you do something stupid.

Harry knew that he couldn't get a sound out, so he nodded his head and left. He walked to the sofa, sat down and put his head in his hands. This was going to be more difficult than he had thought. He was too close, and he wasn't even in the same room with her. ARGH!

Taking deep breaths, he finally controlled the roaring battle he was having with himself. He stood up and started to make his 'bed'. He would definitely need to enlarge the sofa. There was no way he would get any sleep on this. Waving his hand, he did an Engorgement Charm. With the sofa now at a more suitable size, Harry arranged the pillow and blanket.

"Harry, do you have everything you need?" Ginny was standing next to him, an array of emotions washing over her pale face. Even so, she still looked entirely too appealing.

Harry's thoughts were in a whirl. He felt like slapping his face, which would not be a smart move. "Yes, thanks Gin. I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight."

Ginny seemed as though she wanted to touch Harry, to make certain of something. With her brow creased, she started to raise her hand to his face, but pulled back. She stood there swaying, as if trying to decide what to do next. "Goodnight Harry." Ginny turned, and Harry caught her small hand in his.

Smiling into her eyes, Harry took her face in his hand. Slowly, he leaned down and placed a kiss gently on her lips. "You'll be all right. I'm just out here, if you need me. OK?" He dropped his arms to his side and took a step back.

Tentatively, Ginny smiled back. But, she did not draw away. Her eyes held a plea, but Harry was not sure what she was asking. The emotions playing across her face confused him. He saw fear and grief. But the most surprising and dominant emotion he saw was gratitude. Why she should feel this, Harry was unsure. Did she think that she didn't deserve his help? Could she be questioning the reason behind his support?

With a determined nod of her head, she looked Harry in the eye and spoke. "I don't know why you should help me. I don't deserve it. I feel, well, I feel that I should not force such a promise from you. If you would rather - not - help me, I will understand." No longer able to meet his eyes, Ginny looked down at the floor. "I truly will understand. You could...leave...and I wouldn't think any less of you." She looked up from under her tear stained lashes.

Harry reached out to her and held her face between his hands. Wiping away the tears, he said, "I'll go, but only if you send me away. I would never leave you, Gin. If you want me gone, you will have to tell me. Do you want me to leave?"

Ginny shook her head, and looked into Harry's face. "No." It came out in a whisper, but Harry knew that she had spoken.

"Then, I shall stay. I'll stay as long as you want me to. If you ever want me to leave, just tell me and I'll go. Does that sound fair?" He smiled at her, but she didn't return it.

Ginny leaned into Harry and placed her forehead on his chest. Harry knew she was trying to control her emotions and gave her the time she needed. She looked up and smiled. "Thank you Harry. I'm glad I have someone I can count on to help me. Even though I hoped you wouldn't leave, I just felt I had to give you the chance to change your mind." And then she reached up and pulled Harry's head down and kissed him. Quickly, she turned and walked down the hall. As she closed her door, she gave Harry another smile.

Now, Harry felt he should beat himself up for what had just happened. He really needed to curb his actions. Knowing that Ginny would let him get out of his promise made Harry feel both happy and sad. Backing out on her would be such a Slytherin thing to do and heaven knows he was no Slytherin. But, knowing that she felt honor bound to make certain that Harry had no reservations was such a Weasley thing to do. Her family, if nothing else, did not trick people into actions they were unwilling to take. Well, everyone except Fred and George.

After some deliberation, he established his Rules of Conduct; not only to protect Ginny from others, but also from himself. He never wanted her to question his commitment to helping her heal. Ginny needed to know he was there for her at any time she needed him. Yet, he knew that if he was to be near, he had to close off his needs and wants for her peace of mind.

With a sense of relief, Harry kicked off his shoes and pulled his shirttails out. He lay down and tested his handiwork. It wasn't too bad. He could sleep here tonight. There wasn't much of the night left anyway. Checking his watch, he saw it read 3:27. It seemed like it should be later than that, but Harry didn't mind. He was exhausted and could use as much sleep as he could get.

Rolling on his side, he found a comfortable position and closed his eyes. The smell of Ginny surrounded him. The pillow he was using must be from her bed. He smiled at this thought, and silently wished her sweet dreams. Before he realized it, he had slipped into a sweet dream himself.

**********************

"NO! PLEASE, DON'T! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Harry rolled to the floor and pulled his wand out of its hiding place under his sleeve. He could see clearly, having fallen asleep without removing his glasses. Not seeing any threat, he ran towards the source of the screams that woke him. Without thinking, his training kicked in, and he paused at her bedroom door to listen for any intruders. No noise was now coming from inside and Harry slowly opened the door.

The end of his wand was lit and he scanned the room, looking for Ginny. She was sitting up in bed, apparently still asleep. However, her eyes were wide open. She had tears streaming down her face. She was talking, her lips were moving, but no sound was coming out.

Harry gently called her name. "Ginny. It's me, Harry. Can you hear me?" She didn't answer. He knew she was still trapped in her nightmare. He needed to be careful how he roused her from the dream. Slowly, he walked toward her placing his wand back in its sheath.

"Ginny, I'm here. Let me help you. Everything will be fine. Don't worry; it's only a dream. It can't hurt you. You're safe." Harry gently took her hand as he sat next to her. He looked into her eyes, and saw them glazed over with fear. She was violently shaking, and a fine sheen of sweat covered her. Her breath was coming in ragged whimpers.

"Ginny, look at me. It's Harry. I'm here. You're safe. Look at me, Gin. You're safe and everything is fine. Nothing you see is real; it's just a dream. Gin, look at me." Harry took her face in his left hand and brought it around so she could see him. "I'm here, and you're safe, Gin. It's time to wake up now. It's just a dream. Wake up now, Gin."

Suddenly, the glaze clouding Ginny's eyes cleared and she gasped. Harry could tell she was focusing on him, and said, "You're fine, Gin. You're safe. Nothing will harm you." Without warning, Ginny's eyes rolled back in her head and she collapsed onto her bed.

"Ginny, please wake up. Wake up!" Harry shook her shoulders, trying to quell the fear racing through him. Was this was she went through every night? Did she wake up in cold sweats with no one to hold her? "Ginny, wake up! Please, wake up. It's Harry, I'm here, let me help you."

Slowly, Ginny's breathing calmed and she opened her eyes. Harry was leaning over her, making sure she saw his face. "I'm here, Gin. It's ok, you'll be fine."

Ginny rolled over and jumped off the bed, racing for the bathroom. Harry knew she was going to be sick, and left her alone. He heard her retching as he walked to the bathroom door. She needed her privacy. This was not something anyone wanted an audience to witness. When he knew she was finished, Harry took two washcloths and ran them under cold water. He handed the first one to Ginny and kept the second one himself. He gently raised the hair off of her neck and placed the cool cloth on it. He bent down and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"I'll give you a minute to clean up." Harry walked out and headed back into the bedroom. The clock next to Ginny's bed read 5:34. He sat down and ran his hands through his hair. Harry pulled his glasses off, and set them next to him. He bent down and rested his elbows on his knees. Harry pressed his open palms against his closed lids. He needed to clear his thoughts. He had to concentrate on calming his racing heart. Ginny's screams had scared him. It had been a long time since screaming had awakened him, even if it was his own that he usually heard.

Harry heard the tap being turned off, sat up and put his glasses back on. He tried not to have that awful look of sympathy or compassion he was used to seeing when he had experienced a particularly horrible nightmare. Seeing that look in people's eyes was almost as bad as the nightmare itself. No one wanted to be pitied.

Ginny walked into the room, her balance uncertain. Harry stood, helping her to the bed to sit down. He took her in his arms and held her. "Better?"

Ginny only nodded. He knew she couldn't speak. There was no need to explain to him how she felt. He knew. The fear of speaking of your dreams aloud, to make them real to someone else, had always scared him. You felt that bringing them out into the light only showed how gullible you were to believe them while asleep. It was an irrational fear, but real nonetheless.

There was no sense in why a person would feel so vulnerable while asleep. How your own mind would prey on you, torment you when you were defenseless, had always perplexed Harry. Why would your body try to attack itself? It wasn't logical. He knew that dreams were a way for the mind to deal with its fears, but when it creates those fears, how was anyone supposed to work through them? How can you settle the conflict in your mind, when your heart tells you to keep it a secret?

Ginny hadn't made a sound since coming back to bed. Harry was afraid she would want to be alone. He needed to find out. "Why don't you try to get some sleep?"

Ginny shook her head. "No! Please, just hold me, Harry. I...I just want you to hold me." She looked up at him with tears still in her eyes. Harry's heart almost broke. He wished he could just erase her memories, to start with a clean slate. But he knew he couldn't.

He pulled Ginny closer to him and lay back on the bed. "Of course, Gin. I'll stay as long as you need me." He placed a pillow under his head. Ginny settled herself into his arms, her head on his shoulder. She wasn't relaxing, so Harry slowly rubbed her back. "You're safe now. Nothing can harm you, I promise."

They lay like that for some time before Harry noticed Ginny breathing slow down and he knew she was finally resting peacefully. Though he was sure he wouldn't be able to sleep again that night, he didn't care. As long as Ginny did, that was all that mattered. He placed a kiss on her forehead and swore that his commitment to her would never falter. He would make sure she was released from her past, if it took the rest of his life.

Watching her rest, so pale and fragile, Harry felt tears falling down his face. He needed her so desperately. His whole future was resting in this woman. If he failed to help her, he would surely be lost himself. He didn't even want to consider that possibility. He knew he had to stay focused and confident in their success. Because it was not just Ginny who would be whole, it was Harry too. They needed to soothe each other, to help the other mend their heart and soul. The spirit to survive was strong in both he and Ginny. He had to reach her strength, show her the path, and then let her lead the way.

With sunshine sneaking in through a gap in the curtains, Harry woke up. He checked the clock and it read 8:13. He thought he could definitely use more sleep, but knew that once he woke, he might as well get up. Ginny was still asleep in his arms. For some time he watched her, again memorizing her. Not wanting to wake her, but needing to get up, he slowly rolled off the bed and left the room.

Harry smelled the coffee the moment he closed the bedroom door. He walked to the kitchen and turned on the light. He set out mugs, sugar and creamer and was making some toast when he heard Ginny running a shower.

As he sat and drank his coffee, Harry noticed a picture on Ginny's refrigerator. It was Ginny, Colin, and several other D.A. members on a Muggle street. Harry felt he should know where this place was; it seemed so familiar to him. Yet, he couldn't place it. He knew he had probably walked past this place loads of times, but no matter how he tried, he could not bring the memory forward.

Ginny came into the kitchen while he was lost in thought over the photo. She was sitting at the table stirring sugar into her coffee before Harry noticed her. They sat in comfortable silence for some time before Harry spoke. "After I straighten up the sofa, I need to leave for awhile."

"Why? Can't you stay?" The helplessness in her eyes made Harry long to say he would stay forever. Yet, he knew that there would be times when they had to be apart. They both had to start getting used to this.

"No, I'm sorry, but I can't. I need to go home and clean up. Plus, there are a few stops I need to make today. I know, why don't I stop over here on my way to dinner with your family tonight. I'll come by and pick you up about five. How does that sound?" Harry knew this would be hard, for both of them, but he was determined to let Ginny have a few hours alone.

"May I come?" If Harry didn't get out of there soon, he would cave in to her. "I'm sorry. I just have a few things I need to do. I promise, I'll be back later and pick you up before I head to The Burrow." He tried to smile, to give her some reassurance, but it wasn't much of one.

'Oh, all right. I guess I'll see you later then." Ginny looked so miserable that Harry was feeling decidedly guilty. However, he had a stop to make, and she just couldn't be there for it.

He walked over to Ginny and pulled her up into his arms. "I promise, I'll be back soon." He gave her a small kiss on the forehead and turned to leave. He grabbed his robe and reached for the doorknob. He had almost forgotten to release the charms he placed last night. Having quickly removed them, Harry turned to take a last look at Ginny. She looked so forlorn, so exquisitely heartbroken, that Harry almost lost his determination.

"Gin, I forgot to tell you. Last night, I turned off the ringer on your phone. You may want to check your machine. I believe you have received a few calls from both Hermione and Ron. Do you want me to take the charm off the floo?"

Ginny shook her head no. Her bottom lip was trembling and Harry could tell she was trying desperately to hold herself together. "No, just leave it for now. They have meddled too much already. It will be good for them to be in the dark for a while longer." With a small smile, Ginny looked up at Harry. "See you at five?"

"See you at five. Bye." With that, Harry left the flat. He stopped in the hall and took a deep breath. It was hard, but he was glad that Ginny felt safe enough to trust that he would be back for her. He checked the pocket of his robe, to make sure the box was still there. With a heavy heart, Harry walked downstairs and outside the building to the alley across the street. He Apparated to The Leaky Cauldron, waived a hand at Tom, and headed out the back door. He tapped the appropriate blocks on the wall and stepped back as they revealed Diagon Alley.

Harry never got over the marvel of seeing the street appear before his eyes. It was always a magical feeling; his first introduction to the world he belonged in was here. His feet led him to the far end of the street. He passed all the familiar shops, Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor, Flourish and Blotts, Slug and Jiggers and Quality Quidditch Supplies. When he reached his destination, his steps faltered. He was saddened to be placing this box back in his vault. Squaring his shoulders, Harry proceeded into Gringott's.

"Good morning Mr. Potter. How may I help you?" Griphook seemed almost pleased to see Harry, but his smile did not fool him. He knew that the goblins smiled at all the wealthy customers. And, since Harry was one of the wealthiest, he usually got the pleasure of seeing all of his pointy, yellow teeth.

"Good morning Griphook. I need to place something back in my vault." With a sinking feeling in his stomach, Harry rode the cart down to what felt like the bowels of the bank. When the cart stopped at Harry's vault, he climbed out onto the rock-hewn ledge. He pulled out the key and let the small goblin open the door. The goblin then stepped back, not looking inside, as Harry walked into the crowded space.

Harry lit his wand and moved over to the cabinet against the far wall. As he looked around, he saw all the familiar objects left to him by his parents. He missed them; the longing to have them back never left him. But, he had so much to look forward to. Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out the green velvet box. He resisted the urge to look inside; he knew what was there. The next time he opened it; he swore that it would be to place its contents on Ginny's finger.

Quickly, he placed the box in the cabinet and turned back to the exit. He rode up to the main level of the bank in silence. He stepped out of the cart, nodded his thanks to Griphook, and headed home.