Redemption Song

"Padfoot?"

"Prongs."

"Err...Lily and I've got to talk to you. Is there anyone else here?"

Sirius shut the door behind them and said, "Nah, Regulus' gone to Diagon Alley and my parents are off at the Nott's. Is this about where you two disappeared to during the engagement party last month?"

"How d'you know about that?"

"Really, Prongs, when are you going to realize that I know everything?"

As they all sat down, Lily twisted her mouth into a wry grimace and said, "Yes, well, passing over your omniscience, I don't think you're going to be too pleased with what we've got to say."

Sirius raised his eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Well," James began, trying very hard to look anywhere but at his best mate, "neither of us meant for things to go as far as they did...it was all rather spur-of-the-moment...well, what I mean to say...god, Sirius, you do know what I'm getting at, don't you?"

It looked very much as though Sirius was trying his best not to start laughing then and there. Both Lily and James exchanged skeptical glances and waited for him to gain some control over himself. And finally -

"Blimey, Jamie, when did you become such a nancy boy? It's not like it was your first time or anything, I know that much. Why the bloody hell d'you have to tell me about all this?"

Trying to ignore the glare he was receiving from Lily, James said, "Yeah, that's true but...please don't murder me? We both get how much of a problem this is going to be for all three of us."

"Spit it out, Prongs."

"Err...well, see...the, um, well - "

"The contraception charm didn't work, Sirius," Lily interrupted in a resigned tone.

Sirius stared at her. His eyes then flickered to James, to her naval, back to James, and then back to Lily. "Come off it. You can't be serious, can you?"

Lily nodded grimly. James looked thoroughly miserable.

There was a moment where no one said anything, and then -

"I'll kill you," he said to James, the usual good nature absent from his voice. "How could you be so careless? Don't you have any idea how much trouble this is going to cause? Not just for me, trying to explain this whole situation - think about Lily! Bloody hell, James, I know you never put much stock by the rules, but this is too far. I mean, how on earth will - "

"Get a grip on yourself," Lily said coolly. "Shouting's not going to help us in the least, so please sit back down."

Sirius looked as though he would've liked to punch something, but after a brief glaring match sighed murderously and resumed his seat. "It's going to be hell finding a Healer who won't talk to Mother about all this."

"What does Lily need a Healer for?" James asked with a puzzled expression on his face.

"She needs a Healer, prat," Sirius shot back with a reproving glare, "to get rid of this mess."

"I don't need a Healer, Sirius, because this mess, as you so eloquently call it, is going nowhere." Lily looked as though she could have strangled him for merely suggesting it.

"You can't possibly keep it!"

"Watch me."

"Lily, look at it this way - even if you didn't abort it, you wouldn't even get to keep the baby! James would legally own him."

"All the same, Sirius, I'm above murdering my children."

"That's not what I...I can't believe that you...Lily, you can't. What would James and I tell people?"

"Say what you like, it's not my problem. People won't give a shit about anything I tell them anyway."

"And if I forbid it?"

Silence. Both Sirius and James were alarmed to see the familiar spitfire gone as she said, "As you command, master. I am not allowed an opinion in the matter," and swept out of the room.

As much as he knew the truth of what she'd said, Sirius knew that he'd never see things that way. He could never bring himself to force Lily into this when he knew she was so opposed to it. Sirius felt a great rush of pity towards James as his friend collapsed in his chair and ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

"Come on, Prongs, mate," he said in a over-airy, bracing voice, conjuring two butterbeers and slapping one into his friend's hand. "Between the two of us, we're bound to figure something out that's alright by Lily."

James shook his head numbly. For the first time, Sirius noticed that he looked rather ill.

"I can't do this."

"Course you can. You have to."

"No. I can't make her get rid of it. No one has the right to do that. But if she goes ahead and has the baby...Don't you see what it would do to her if he or she was taken away from her? And I can't handle owning my own son or daughter, Padfoot. Who could?"

Sirius realized that what he had said previously had not had an effect only on Lily.

Thinking grimly of Remus, he replied, "No one in their right mind, that's who. But maybe it would be better that way. I mean, it's not as though you wouldn't treat them right, Jamie. I know you better than that...you never liked this whole business in the first place. Believe me, I'm surprised you haven't run off to the rebellion already."

"Blimey, Padfoot, that's it! Andy!"

"What?"

James was looking at Sirius as though just realizing he was there. "Andromeda, Sirius. You need to write her. I know you've tried before, but you need to try again. Lily has to get to the rebellion."

"Prongs, mate, have you gone mental?"

The spark that James had been missing since Lily had taken him away to speak with him was back. "Cut the chat, Sirius, we've got to hurry. You need to write to Andy and Ted straight away, see if they can get Lily to wherever they are. Even if it's not the rebellion, it's got to be better than here."

Sirius shook his head in amazement. "Look, I've been trying to contact her for years now, as much as I'd - "

"Then keep trying!"

"Alright, alright! Say I do get an answer from Andy this time, and she says it's all fine and dandy. How exactly am I supposed to explain to my parents that my best mate knocked up my slave, so she's gone gallivanting off to help the anti-Union movement?"

James was stumped, but only for a moment.

"Padfoot, I...I don't suppose you'd let me buy Lily, would you?"

He raised an eyebrow at him. "Enlighten me as to how that would help, James. And, again, what exactly would I tell my parents?"

James waved him impatiently. "Oh, I dunno. Tell them you lost a wager to me or something. And it would help tremendously because she wouldn't be your business anymore."

"And how would you explain to your parents where she went?"

"Actually, I was thinking of going with her."

In response, Sirius inhaled quite a lot of butterbeer. James clapped him on the back and waited for him to stop choking before continuing.

"I'm serious, Padfoot. My parents are planning a holiday sometime in January - it would be the perfect opportunity. It's not like I need their permission."

He finally seemed to regain the use of his voice. "Prongs, odds are Andromeda isn't even going to get my letter."

"You've still got to try!" James said fiercely. "Even if it doesn't work, I'm still going through with it. There's got to be someone we know who knows how to get there!"

"Have you gone completely mad?"

"Actually, I was just wondering how much more difficult it would be to bring along the rest of my house slaves."

"Merlin almighty, it's one thing for someone to travel around with one, but four? It'd be absolutely obvious!"

"Well, I can't just leave them! Why're you so against this, Sirius?"

"I'm not against undermining the system, James," he retorted angrily. "I just don't see how your plan could work. So far you've got Lily, Zeb, Joelle, Elma, and yourself off somewhere with absolutely no idea where you're going. You've just got to plan this all out better!"

But he could see that James' mind was set when he replied, "And that's why you're going to write Andy."

Sirius sighed as he summoned a sheet of parchment, a bottle of ink, and a quill.

-------------

Alice did not understand Regulus. Half the time the prat was on her for creasing his shirts wrong when she ironed them, the other half he was just giving her these odd looks she didn't understand. Half the time she was terrified of him, the other half she did everything in her power to avoid him.

That afternoon she had been in the kitchens, chopping vegetables for the furnish on the pork Henry was cooking, when Regulus had come strolling in, as though his presence there was an everyday occurrence. Alice had been so startled that she dropped the knife when she saw him in the doorway. He had told her to get ready, as he was going to Diagon Alley and needed her to go as well.

Great. She could go and carry the bags and get leered at by the thugs who lurked in the shadows of Diagon's stores. Wonderful. Sighing, Alice nodded and washed her hands as he left. Taking off her apron, she left her hair up in its messy bun and put on a plain, clean dress she was only permitted to wear when leaving the house. Then Alice walked upstairs by the main entrance to wait for her young master. She didn't have to wait long. He came down the main stairs and Alice braced herself for some sort of snide remark or a slap at least. Neither of which came.

"Let's go," Regulus said taking her hand.

Alice was indignant. She could walk on her own! Did he have to demean her further and lead her like a small child? What was next, a leash? But she knew better than to argue. The bruises from the day before, fresh on her arms and abdomen, were a reminder to Alice to content herself to gritting her teeth and muttering murderously in her head.

As they flooed to Diagon Alley, Alice again wondered why she didn't just try and run away. She knew full well that there was nowhere for her to go, and that she would be caught and most likely killed before she got too far, but at this point she couldn't care less. Was it better to be a slave who couldn't get through the day without unwarranted physical abuse or to be dead?

Stepping out of the fireplace in the Leaky Cauldron, she stumbled forward. Regulus grabbed her hand again. Ugh.

"Why are your hands so cold?" he asked as he began to rub her fingers. Hmm. Hard one. Maybe because she was undernourished and miserable and constantly cooking in a cold stone kitchen? That could be it.

"Just cold, sir," she murmured and she once again pulled her hand out of his. A little more roughly this time. Sticking her hands in her pockets, not only for warmth but to keep them out of his reach, she followed him into Diagon Alley. The fresh air and sunshine was glorious, warm but not too hot. It smelled busy, a mixture of wonderful things from the various stores all around.

"How does it feel to be out?"

Alice stared at him. He was smiling at her. Patronizing little git! Alice felt her cheeks flush in shame and she simply shrugged. She would not give him the satisfaction.

"Where do you need to go?" Alice asked crisply. "We need to get what you need so I can go back and finish dinner in time...sir," she hastily added as not to anger Regulus. A public beating was something she'd rather avoid.

Lord Black insisted on the Sir and Madam thing when it came to his wife and sons. But, knowing her tone hadn't been the best, she thought throwing the title in might make the git a bit easier on her.

"Don't worry, someone else can prepare dinner." Regulus finally got the hint and was now walking in front of her.

Honestly, how thick was he? Certainly someone else could prepare dinner but she would be the one to get the stinging hex across her back from Lady Black if there were any problems. Something tasted wrong? Prepared differently? She didn't serve it? She coughed? Anything could provoke it. Anything. And that was something Regulus obviously did not understand in the least.

Sighing, she simply nodded, and hurried to keep close behind him. A few people glanced their way. Girls were staring at Regulus, recognizing him and fawning over him. Others maybe knew her, or knew of her, and stared with raised eyebrows. Alice hated those looks. All of them. How little people knew about the world. Seriously.

"You wait for me here."

Wait outside? Why the hell did he bring her? Nodding again, she held back the words that were dying to come out of her mouth, and, in frustration, bit her lip. As soon as he disappeared into the shop she growled to herself and pounded the brick wall with her fists. This was awful. Alice knew people could see her, waiting like a dog chained to the lamppost. It killed her. And no one gave a damn. Pounding the wall again she didn't care that her hands scraped a bit and stung like hell. At least she felt it and could feel it with no regret.

Leaning against the wall she set her head gently against the bricks and closed her eyes. At least she got some peace for once. Alice was tempted to sit down, but the last thing she needed was for Regulus to come out and punish her for being lazy.

Crossing her arms in front of her, she waited. At least it was a nice day outside, and in her dress of deep emerald she was comfortable. Lord and Lady Black always made sure that their slaves had decent clothes when they went out. Alice was for show just as much as for work. She was near pureblood, a rarity in most slaves, and she was pretty. Ish. Well she never thought so, but other people must. That meant Alice was a trophy as well, showed off at parties. Yes, nearly a pureblood. Look at her eyes. Aren't they exquisite? Oh, she can cook brilliantly. Of course the line's been in our family for years, her mother was obedient as a dog. It's no wonder we hardly ever have trouble from her. It made her ill.

"Well, well. What do we have here?"

An unfamiliar voice leered at her and a shadow blocked the sun from her face. Alice's eyes snapped open to see two men she didn't know looking at her in a decidedly inappropriate manner. Straightening up, she came off the wall and desperately wished she had her wand on her, even if she could not use it defensively. Maybe she could turn them into carrots or something.

Both men were huge and ugly. They looked like they were slightly middle class, maybe lower upper class, as they were finely dressed, though not in the best condition. Slobs, filthy and stinking of firewhiskey.

"Pretty l'il thing, ain't she? Think she's someone's slave or just a stray from the flock?"

The other grunted and pointed to Alice's forearm, where a small crest of the House of Black was imprinted. The two grunted incoherently at each other. Alice tried to edge away to the door of the shop. They seemed to be arguing over whether or not to bother her. They had to recognize the crest. They had to. Although she couldn't go in the shop, she could try and get someone's attention for help at least.

"Oh no, you don't. Yer comin' with us."

The one who could talk laughed as he roughly grabbed her arm. Alice tried to twist away, but could not prevent him from pinning her arm behind her back. He knocked her on the side of the head, his fist hitting her eye, which immediately began to swell. Opening her mouth, she started to release a scream, but was cut off as he pressed his large filthy hand over her mouth. Alice tried to squirm away, but if she twisted the wrong way she knew her shoulder would dislocate and her arm would snap. The two moved quickly. Alice was halfway to the entrance to Knockturn Alley before she could blink.

Merlin. Once they got her there they could do almost anything. Bile rose in her throat and Alice tried in vain to scream for help. No one noticed. Alice decided she hated people. The elderly turned a blind eye as the young were attacked. Mothers saw small children being kidnapped and simply felt relieved it wasn't one of theirs. No one spoke up anymore. No one moved to help an eighteen-year-old girl who was being kidnapped from the middle of Diagon Alley in broad daylight.

Please someone, anyone, help me, she pleaded silently as they got closer to their destination, fearing what was to become of her. Where was Regulus? Where was anyone who cared? Struggling, she continued in vain to get noticed, but apparently it was not enough. Feeling sick, Alice knew she had to keep trying to get away. She got one kick to the man's shin but all that gave her was a tighter grip on her arm, nearly tearing it from her socket.

It wasn't looking good for her at all.

Alice felt sick and disgusted. She was going to get raped. Or maybe re-sold into slavery and she would end up in a place a lot worse than Grimmauld Place. Perhaps Alice could go without the beatings, but she was fed and clothed and given a warm bed. A lot of slaves weren't even close to some of those basic luxuries. She refused to cry, but tears were definitely threatening her eyelids as they were about to go into Knockturn Alley. Alice had never even been this close to it before, let alone inside it. She knew better than to stray near such a seedy, disgusting place.

"Let her go, she belongs to me."

Her eyes flew open and Alice nearly wept with joy to see Regulus Black. Alice never thought she would be glad to see him in her life, but for the first time she felt her heart start to beat again as he stared coldly at the two men. Although she had seen Regulus pissed off and annoyed (usually with her), she had never seen such a look on his face. He looked almost murderous. Even though the statement, that she belonged to him, was less than cavalier, it was true. Regardless, Alice was counting her lucky stars that he had found her. The men were protesting, but slightly loosened the grip on her arm. Alice's hair had long since fallen out of its bun and now was all in front of her face. Shaking her head, she struggled to get her hair out of her face to see Regulus.

"Mind yer own business, laddie boy," one of the men snarled.

"She is my business. She belongs to the Black family, and I don't believe you would want to mess with us."

So there. Once again the word choice Regulus had hit her like dull barbs, but she was not complaining about it for once. Slave or not, she just wanted to get the hell away from these two and whatever they had in store for her. Alice shuddered at the mere idea.

"Take this. A small token from the youngest Black. I'm sure you can look for some more suitable entertainment." He tossed some gold at them, and the man at last loosened his grip completely. Regulus obviously noticed and grabbed Alice, pulling her to him. She didn't care that his arm was around her waist - in all honesty, she didn't think she had the power to stand at the moment. "I'll get us out of here," he whispered. Alice barely nodded, just stared at the two who nearly took off with her.

"Go on, young sir, you have fun with her."

The larger of the two gave her a look that made her nauseous to even consider what he was thinking, then the leech laughed as the two went off counting the gold.

Alice felt numb, but at the same time disgusting and violated. The smell of firewhiskey was sour in the air around her, as though it stained her robes from their touch.

"Let's get you out of here." Alice barely noticed as he led her away from Knockturn Alley back into its far more respectable neighboring street.

After silently walking a few blocks away, she realized they were in a quiet area with not much people around. Her awareness beginning to return, she leaned heavily on the wall behind her. Regulus brushed her hair out of her face and touched her eye where the one man had hit her, causing her to wince slightly without realizing it.

"I shouldn't have left you outside there."

Alice looked at him, startled. That was the closest she had ever heard him come to apologizing or admitting fault. Between what had almost happened to her and what she suddenly realized, she felt something inside her snap.

Crumpling, she slid down the brick wall until she was seated on the cobblestone street and began to cry. Alice could not remember ever crying this hard. There were those nights when tears would come as she fell asleep. But crying so hard she could not breathe... well, that had not happened in a long, long time.

But it was more than Alice could take because, in that one statement, she finally understood the twisted meaning behind the bruises and the odd looks. He loved her. Perhaps not loved, more likely a schoolboy crush that he would never live out. Could never live out. And in his overpriveledged mind, Regulus had no way of knowing how to deal with that. It was almost pitiable. But Alice couldn't pity him, not when she was the one who had suffered for it all these years.