Mysterious Optimism

There was a knock at the door.

A sleepy Nymphadora Tonks seemed to be the only person that heard it. The house was so very quiet, and Tonks, being a light sleeper, could wake up from the sounds of doors opening downstairs. It was eerily quiet, too quiet in fact, and Tonks felt very alone in this extraordinary house of Black.
She stumbled down the stairs, knocking down a lamp and small end table when she got to the bottom. She picked it up hastily and fumbled in the dark for the door handle, wondering who would be knocking at this time of night, and why nobody else heard it.
She touched the big brass door handle and turned it slowly. After all it was raining outside, and she didn't know how windy it was. She opened the door and saw a figure of a tall man standing in front of her. He had ripped jeans on, she could make that out, and a leather jacket, she could see the raindrops on it. Then he stepped out of the shadows and a sudden feeling of shock gripped Tonks as she finally saw who it was.

It was Sirius.

He had finally come home like she always knew he would. His face looked young and carefree, his hair long and wavy, strewn across his shoulders, and the stubble on his face prickling as he smiled at her. She was at loss for words. He spoke quietly.
"Hello Tonks. Not expecting to see me were you? I don't think anybody was, but don't worry. I've come home now and I'm never leaving this place again, I've learned my lesson."

A glow seemed to emulate from him as he stood there in the doorway. Tonks reached out her hand to touch his face, but his hand grabbed hers before she did so.
"I'm here Tonks. I'm real. You have nothing to worry about. Forget everything that has happened it doesn't matter."
Tonks wanted to shout to the rest of the house that he was home but something inside wouldn't let her.
He spoke again.
"Look Tonks, I know this is really unexpected and that but will you do me a really big favour? I have a message I need you to pass on."
She wondered why he needed her to pass on a message. He was home and safe and well, why couldn't he do it himself? She nodded to him anyway.
"Could you tell Moony that what he's looking for is in the top drawer in the cabinet in my mother's old bedroom. It's been there a long time indeed, and tell him that I got his letter."
Tonks wondered what this letter was all about, and why Remus didn't tell her that he was in touch with Sirius.
"Of course I'll tell him."
He smiled and gave her a hug. She was so happy to see him again, for him to be back here at last. They hugged for a while, and she finally said, "It's so good to see you again cousin."

Then all of a sudden, she remembered why she was so happy to see him, why she had missed him, why it came as such a shock when she opened the door. The memory of the night in the Department of Mysteries came flooding back to her, the look on Sirius' face when he fell through the veil, the sorrow she felt in her heart when she saw it all happen like a bad dream. He had died that night.
A terrible fear gripped her. She felt trapped, and suddenly she felt cold. The warmth of Sirius' embrace was fading rapidly, and he stepped back from her. He glowed now more than ever. The street seemed like just a silhouette, and his figure seemed transparent and fading. He then looked up at her, saw her pale face, and tears in her eyes. Her legs felt weak, her head felt light. She grabbed the sleeve of his jacket. No good. She couldn't reach it, even though she could feel it in her hands as she touched it. She was confused, shocked, and bewildered. She looked up at his face. He smiled at her, and Tonks looked on in astonishment as his body glowed brightly, then quickly faded into the night. She eventually found the strength in her to shout.
"Sirius! Don't leave me here alone again! Come back!"

Suddenly she received flashbacks from when she was a child, and Sirius and the rest of the Marauders used to run and hide from her. She realized she was shouting pretty much the same words.
She ran into the street, into the rain, and looked around to see if he was hiding, playing tricks on her again. Nothing. She felt the strength go from her legs completely, and she fell to her knees and cried for her lost cousin.

* * * * *

A noise of a door shutting woke her, and Tonks could feel a cold sweat throughout her body. She was breathing heavily, and it took her a while to calm herself down and remember that is was just a dream, but that's what upset her, that it was only a dream.
She then remembered the sound of her door shutting that had woken her. She looked around her room and saw that Remus Lupin was sitting on a chair by her bed.

"Nymphador.. Er, Tonks. Are you alright? I heard you shouting. My room is only across the hallway, and when it's close to a full moon I don't sleep much, very lightly in fact. Was it a bad dream?"

That was it. It wasn't a bad dream. It was wonderful, well, until the end anyway.
Tonks' green eyes shifted to stare into Remus' chocolaty brown ones. She could see that he was concerned, and to be honest, he was the only person she really wanted to see right now.

"I saw him. He came home. I was so happy to see him, so shocked too. I touched him to make sure if he was real, he grabbed my hand and told me he was, and that he was home and there was nothing to worry about. He hugged me. Honestly I was so happy, but then I remembered what had happened that night at the Department of Mysteries. The pain, the anger, the fear, it all came back. I suddenly felt cold and weak, and I could feel him fading. I grabbed his jacket but somehow I couldn't reach it, even though he was stood right in front of me. He smiled, and then he was gone. I ran into the street, fell to my knees and cried, and then I woke up."

Tonks looked utterly distraught, and Remus felt so sorry for her. He didn't even bother asking who it was. He knew perfectly well who she was dreaming of. For a start he'd heard her shouting his name, and this was the third time this week. Although Remus had a feeling she couldn't remember those times.
He sighed deeply, and moved to sit beside her. He stared at her sympathetically for a while, then put his arms alongside her body and leant forward and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes.

"I miss him so much Remus. I mean we weren't even that close. It's ridiculous."

"It's not ridiculous at all Tonks. You miss him because you loved him, and he loved you too, no matter how many pranks he played on you when you were little, at my sheer disapproval of course."

Remus smiled remembering his days with the Marauders and with Tonks when she was a child. Tonks was remembering the time when she sat on his shoulders while he ran and played with his hair. Those were the days, they both thought. The days before it all went wrong.
Remus looked at Tonks and could see that she was also smiling. She obviously felt a lot better now. He stood up and put his hand on her shoulder.

"If you ever need to talk about anything, you know where I live, across the hall."

"Thank you so much Remus."

She touched his hand and Remus could feel the hairs standing up on the back of his neck.
He was about to leave, when Tonks quickly remembered what Sirius had said to her in the dream.

"Oh Remus!", he turned to face her. "I know this is probably stupid and meaningless, but I've just remembered what Sirius had said to me in my dream."

"Go on."

"He said, could you tell Moony that what he's been looking for's in the.. top drawer of a cabinet in his mother's old bedroom, oh and that he's got your letter or something but that's probably just nothing."

Remus looked like he was thinking hard. A look of concern and quite possibly confusion swept his face for a moment, but that passed quickly.

"Right. Ok. Erm, thanks Tonks. I'll see you later. Try and get some sleep."

And with that he left the room and Tonks lay back in her bed and slowly drifted back to sleep, until she was awoken by the sounds of Molly making breakfast.