Deny Thy Father

Part III- Visits to Reality

"Hey, Evans! Can you touch your elbows behind your back?"

The pretty redhead scowled, and then attempted the feat. James and Sirius watched with amusement. "What do you think, Sirius?"

"Almost a B."

"Oh, come on, she's definitely a B by now."

Comprehension suddenly dawned on Lily's face, and she shrieked and slapped James across the face.

"Oh, personal contact!" Sirius approved. "Very-" Lily's hand slapped his face too and she stomped away.

Remus, sitting in a chair and pretending to read, wrote something and folded it into a paper airplane, which he send flying over to James and Sirius.

Try Tina Lovegood next. She's got to be at least a C. -R

Sirius smirked and showed the note to James. James grinned evilly.

"Oi! Lovegood! Can you touch your elbows behind your back?"

***

In October, a dark brown owl found Sirius perched boredly on a sofa in the Gryffindor common room. The letter was short and to the point.

Sirius-

I understand you have a Hogsmeade trip this weekend. I'm in town. Would you and your friends care to meet me at The Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer?

Uncle Alphard

"You guys want to go?" Sirius asked eagerly. "My Uncle Alphard isn't bad at all."

"Sure. Sounds good." James had nicked a Snitch from his Quidditch practice and was playing with it as they sat in the common room. He was sprawled messily across the couch, feet on the coffee table.

"Isn't your Uncle Alphard the one that made all those comments in the paper about half-bloods not being, well...?" Peter asked, looking up from his potions essay.

"Nope. That was Uncle Richard."

"Well, will he mind Remus coming?" Peter pressed.

Sirius looked at Remus, who was carefully sketching a detailed diagram of a bowtruckle. "I doubt it," he said. "I mean, he never said he's only okay with purebloods, but he seems to like Remus."

"How would he even know him?" James asked, with a touch of irritation. "None of us have ever met your family outside the train station."

Sirius shrugged. "Dunno. But hey, here's your big chance to meet one of the few members of my family you might actually like. C'mon James. Butterbeer."

"I already said yes."

"Oh yeah. Pete? Remus? You guys in?"

Peter nodded. "Why not?"

"Remus?"

"All right."

"I promise he won't say anything about you being a half-blood."

"No. I know he won't." Remus looked back down at his drawing. "Yeah. I'll go."

***

The day of the Hogsmeade excursion was misted over with a light rain. Despite the relatively miserable weather, the boys enjoyed the freedom of being outside and away from the castle. Being allowed to go to Hogsmeade implied a certain level of adulthood, even if they most certainly weren't acting it. There were shouts and scuffles and a round or two of "can you touch your elbows behind your back?" with the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff girls, and certainly a few well-placed inappropriate hexes hurled. They spent a good hour in Honeydukes and at least as long in Zonko's before making their way to The Three Broomsticks.

Sirius spotted Alphard immediately, holding a table in the corner. He grinned and waved, pushing through the crowd. As he drew closer, Sirius could see his uncle wasn't faring so well. The last time he'd seen Alphard had been at Narcissa and Lucius's wedding; the lights were low and everyone was dressed well. Today Alphard looked absolutely haggard. But his smile was bright as the boys approached, and Sirius noticed he was wearing an old, moth-eaten Gryffindor scarf.

"Sirius," he said, shaking his great-nephew's hand, and then drawing him into a quick, tight hug. "Behaving yourself these days?"

"Not really, no."

"Good lad. Good lad." Alphard looked at the other three boys. "You must be James Potter," he said, extending his hand in the correct direction. "You look very much like the pictures of your father. Rumor has it you're quite the Quidditch player."

James flushed happily. "Yes sir. Chaser on the Gryffindor team."

"Excellent, although I'll always maintain it's the Keeper that keeps a team together." Alphard winked. "Hello, Remus," he said. "Holding up all right?"

To Sirius's surprise, Remus had a wicked knowing grin on his face. "All right, Mr. Black," he agreed amiably. "You?"

"Not bad. How's your mother?"

Sirius instinctively caught James's eye, and they both winced. But as Remus answered, "She's fine," they both realized the question had been genuine, not a subtle dig at Remus's heritage.

"Then you must be Peter Pettigrew," Alphard said, turning to the last of their foursome.

"Yes, sir." Peter seemed much more intimidated by Alphard than either James or Remus. But Alphard gestured for them all to sit and ordered five butterbeers and some sausages, and Peter began to relax.

Alphard kept them in hysterics, telling them stories about his own school days. They particularly enjoyed the ones about Professor McGonagall; none of them could really properly imagine her throwing a snowball in revenge, or running through the common room in her nightgown. They couldn't quite believe that in her day, Minerva McGonagall had been one of the most sought-after girls at Hogwarts.

"Did you date her?" Sirius asked.

"Me? Not at all. She never would have had a chap like me. But let me tell you about old Binns..."

They stayed for another hour, listening to Alphard's stories and telling him their own. It was warm and comfortable in the inn, and Sirius was pleased that at least one member of his family had met his friends.

Alphard was disappointed when they had to leave. He shook James's and Peter's hands, hugged Sirius, and then reached out and ruffled Remus's hair. Sirius felt his eyes on them as they left the inn.

"Y'know," James said, as they made their way back to Hogwarts, "I think your uncle is really lonely."

"What gives you that idea?" Sirius asked uncomfortably.

James shrugged. "Dunno. But your family doesn't seem like the touchy-feely type, and he just... I don't know. I just think he's very alone."

"He is," Remus agreed. "And he probably will be for the rest of his life."

Sirius shivered.

***

"Hey, Sirius, got a minute?" James plopped down onto Sirius's bed regardless.

"Yeah, I'm just doing this potions essay."

"Why are you up here?"

"Between listening to Remus tease me about actually working and Peter begging me to help, it seemed easier. What's up?" Sirius set the essay away from him.

"It's about Christmas," James said.

"Yeah?"

"Well, my parents have to go to Germany for a convention my Dad's covering, and then have a lot to do around London. My dad's trying to get a lot of stuff together on this Lord Voldemort."

"So?"

"Well, they kind of want me to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas."

"Want me to stay with you? Spot on!"

"Actually... I was wondering if I could come home with you."

"Huh?"

"Well, I've never actually met your parents or anything, and you've met mine..."

"There's a reason for that James. Your parents are normal. Remember what you said about my mother? That she needs to get her head out of her arse?"

"Yeah, but still."

"Why do you want to come to my house?" Sirius was baffled. "It's my mother, my father, and my creep of a little brother. There's nothing to do there. We could just stay here at Hogwarts."

"Or we could go to your posh place and live like kings."

Sirius laughed. "You, my friend, are sadly delusional. You didn't get hit by a bludger in the head tonight, did you?"

"No."

"Shame. All right. If you really want to come... but I don't want to ask Peter or Remus."

"That's why I asked for Christmas. It's my one chance to see your place without having to worry about it. Peter will want to go home, and there's a full moon over Christmas."

"Yeah." Sirius remembered the last Christmas full moon. "There is."

***

The Blacks met James and Sirius off the train that year; for once, all three of them were there. Sirius groaned inwardly as he spotted Regulus. They were formal as they greeted James, so much so that James and Sirius had to avoid looking at each other so they wouldn't burst into laughter.

Memories of Grimmauld Place seemed less dark to Sirius as they headed home. Having James with him was like opening a window and letting in the sunlight. But as they walked into the foyer, Sirius was suddenly intensely aware of what his home must look like through James's eyes.

Sirius had told him his family consisted of Dark Wizards, but he'd never given details. He'd never told James about the house elf heads that hung on plaques on the wall, but as he saw James's disgusted expression he wondered if he should have given forewarning. He'd never told James about the clock that visitors had to avoid lest it start to shoot bolts at them, or the elephant leg that served as an umbrella holder, or the portraits that eyed him with suspicion and speculated about his heritage. The house was opulent, with rich fabrics and heavy crystal, but the light came from sources within.

Everything looked strange to Sirius. Why had he never noticed how many items carried the Black family crest? His mother said it was traditional, and a sign of status. To Sirius it looked like a little kid writing on every possession he owned, determined that no one would take it. Everywhere there was silver, heavy and dull, reflecting the dim light. Rich fabrics, rare woods, marble and stone all shouted their wealth at them. What had ever made him think this was a good idea?

"You boys can put your things in Sirius's room," his mother said, breaking across the awkward silence. "Dinner is in a half hour." James and Sirius nodded, and then escaped.

"Well," Sirius said as he shut the door to his bedroom. "Are you regretting this yet?"

"No," James assured him, but his voice was shaking.

"Don't worry," Sirius said. "You will."

***

James was clearly not comfortable in the House of Black. And after his own initial discomfort, Sirius began to see the humor in the situation. James jumped at the slightest sound, regarded any food we was presented with warily, and Sirius even caught him rooting through the bathroom.

"We don't keep our poisons in the medicine cabinet," Sirius drawled, leaning against the door jamb. "They're in the drawing room."

James jumped guiltily. "I was looking for a bandage," he stuttered. "I stubbed my toe."

Sirius looked doubtfully at James's feet, both of which appeared fine. "Sure."

James fidgeted. "You don't really have poisons sitting around the house, do you?"

"I don't, no. But my parents..." Sirius tried to shrug casually. "I don't really know."

"We ought to find out," James mused.

"Go snooping?"

"Why not? It would give us something to do besides studying, anyway."

"Hey, I warned you."

"Yeah, and I should have listened." James ran a hand through his already unruly black hair, making it stand up even more ridiculously than before. "We could investigate the drawing room after dinner."

Sirius grinned. "All right."

"Have you ever rummaged through there?" James asked as Sirius turned to shut the door.

"Believe it or not, no."

Dinner that night was a more formal affair than usual, as befitted Christmas Eve. They sat at the long dining room table, dressed in their good robes and eating by candlelight. The previous night, Mrs. Black had explained the make of the china, the silver, and the goblets to James. At the time, Sirius had thought it boring family history that he already knew. But as he observed his friend hesitating over his forks and reluctant to touch his plate for fear of breaking either it or some unknown rule of etiquette, Sirius wondered if his mother knew how snobbish her lecture had come off.

His father plied James with questions. Not questions about the Quidditch team or lessons or teachers, but detailed questions on James's father's views. Did Tim support this Lord Voldemort? What were Tim's feelings on Muggle rights? The Department of Magical Law Enforcement? The current Minister of Magic? James, ever the polite guest, answered the best he could.

After dinner, Arden insisted on showing James the family tapestry. James cast Sirius a frantic look, but Sirius couldn't think of a way to rescue his friend from the upcoming torture. "Sorry," he muttered.

"You owe me big," James mouthed back.

Sirius stood to follow them, but his mother glanced up at him. "Let your father show James the family bloodline," she said. "Sit here with me and keep me company. Regulus has gone up to his room."

Pleased both at the excuse and the invitation, Sirius sat back down.

"I will have to apologize to James," his mother said, fingering her napkin. "Your father often forgets that you boys are thirteen, and not all that interested in politics and issues."

"Not really, ma'am," Sirius smiled.

It had been so long since he'd sat like this with his mother. The summer holidays had been quiet. His mother hadn't been cold to him, but her primary focus had been Regulus. He hadn't realized how much he missed these moments until right now.

"I found something very interesting in your room today," his mother was saying. Sirius shifted guiltily.

"What was that?"

"A seventh year transfiguration book," his mother said. Sirius cringed, until he noticed that she was smiling. "I must say, Sirius, I was delighted. Transfiguration was always my favorite subject."

"Really?" He hadn't known that.

"Oh yes. I wanted to try for the Animagus transformation, but your father didn't approve."

"No?" Sirius wished his voice wouldn't crack so badly. But his mother didn't seem to notice.

"No. There was no need, Arden said. A wife's place is at home and with her children. With my boys." There was no bitterness in her voice- she said it as fact. But it was there in her eyes.

"You never had a career?" Sirius asked, shocked.

"What need was there?"

"Would you have liked one?" Sirius pressed.

"I don't know. In a way, I have one. There's you and Regulus, and your father. And I do help your father with some of his work."

Sirius seized the opportunity. "Mother, what exactly does Father do?"

"He's a Ministry Official, Sirius. You know that."

"Well, sure. I know that. But what does he do at the Ministry?"

Elizabeth sighed. "Well, he's Head of the Department of Mysteries. I can't really tell you much more than that; their work is of a confidential nature."

"Oh. What do you do for him?"

"I help with some of his notes, every now and then I brew a potion. Why the sudden interest, Sirius?"

"Oh, just thinking. About the future, I guess."

His mother smiled again. "It's never too early for that."

They were still sitting in companionable silence when Arden returned with James, who still had his politely interested smile nailed to his face.

"It's all a matter of wizarding pride," Arden was saying. "A proper pureblooded family like mine or yours should guard their bloodlines carefully."

"Arden," Elizabeth broke in. "Let the poor boy go. I know he and Sirius have some things they want to finish tonight before Christmas."

"Oh. Of course."

Sirius smiled gratefully at his mother as he and James escaped.

"Okay, your father is a nutcase," James announced when they'd reached the relative safety of the second floor.

Sirius laughed. "What makes you say that?"

"The pureblood thing! It's like a mania with him, isn't it?"

"I guess."

"I can see why you called Remus a Mudblood that first night. Sheesh. Anyway, do you want to go search the drawing room?"

Sirius shook his head, the memory of the warmth between him and his mother still curling around him and fresh in his mind. "Nah. Let's work on the transformation instead."

***

Christmas night was a full moon. The sigh of it drained the pleasure of the day from both Sirius and James.

"Imagine," James said as they looked out the window. "What a way to spend Christmas. Poor Remus."

"I know. But at least he's home. His parents are mad about him."

"Seems that way, doesn't it? At least he's got that."

"Yeah." Sirius flashed back to Mr. Lupin sitting over his son's bedside all night. "Lucky Remus."

***

Two days after Christmas, great uncle Alphard arrived. Sirius and James were delighted to see him.

"Come on," he said, after he'd exchanged pleasantries with the adults. "Come into the library and tell me all about the latest mayhem this generation of Gryffindors is wreaking on Hogwarts."

They sat at his feet and told him. Sirius and James both were overflowing with words and enthusiasm, interrupting each other to tell the story together. Alphard had settled deep into a plush chair, his lined face tired as his eyes struggled to stay open, but smiling nonetheless.

"And how are the other two?" he asked when they'd finished the tale of Snape's bouncing textbooks. "Remus and Peter?"

"Peter's fine," James said. "Actually, better than fine- he pulled a good grade on his Charms exam and is over the moon. Remus is..." he looked to Sirius for help.

"I hope Remus is fine," Sirius muttered, thinking heavily of last Christmas.

"He'll have been worse, I'm sure."

James looked down at the floor, but Sirius cocked his head and studied his great uncle. Alphard met his eyes squarely, but there was something there... a deep sadness Sirius had never seen.

"Uncle Alphard, you know Remus, don't you?"

"I met him at the Three Broomsticks."

"No. You've known him for longer than that. The first time I said Remus's name, back in first year, you insisted I stay friends with him. You said that some things are more important than blood."

"I did."

"You don't live near him."

"No."

"You don't work with his father, and you certainly don't work with his mother."

"No." Alphard wouldn't let Sirius's eyes go. "Come on boy," he said softly. "You're a smart lad. Put it together."

The pieces were already clicking together rapidly, and the conclusion was easy now that he knew what to look for. Beside him, James drew in a sharp breath and Sirius knew he was right. "You're a werewolf?" Sirius made it into a question.

"Yes."

He wasn't surprised. This time. "How long?" he asked.

"I was bitten when you were ten, so a little over three years now."

"Does Father know?"

"Absolutely not. A Black a werewolf? Very few people know."

"Remus knows though, doesn't he?" James spoke up, his eyes wide behind the glasses.

"He does. Werewolves are required to appear at the Werewolf Registry periodically- or more accurately, regularly. It just happens we usually have our appointments on the same day."

"Oh." James sat back and looked at Sirius.

Sirius had the most disturbing urge to cry. It wasn't that his great uncle had hidden this information- that was something Sirius could finally understand. It was something that Remus had said after their trip to The Three Broomsticks. I just think he's very alone, James had said. He is, Remus had agreed. And he probably will be for the rest of his life.

As he looked at his great uncle who was waiting for a reaction, Sirius knew it was true. Alphard Black was facing the remainder of his life alone. Carefully, he stood up and hugged him.

Alphard stiffened at first in the embrace, but soon his arms tightened around Sirius, clinging to him desperately for a long moment.

"We won't tell," Sirius promised as he held onto his uncle. "Ever , if that's what you want."

"Thank you," Alphard whispered. He pulled away, wiping his eyes. "Thank you both."

"Would the family really respond that badly?" James asked. "Remus's family doesn't."

"Trust me. The House of Black would freak," Sirius said.

Alphard nodded. "The Lupins are exceptional. That level of support is very unusual, and probably due to the fact it's easier for people to accept such a thing in a darling child as opposed to an old man." He sighed. Now that the revelation was over, Alphard seemed to be heading back into the uncle that Sirius knew. "In fact," he was saying, his voice perfectly even now, "I have great respect for Marilyn, Remus's mother. I don't approve of mixed marriages, mind you, particularly those like the Lupins'. But despite the fact she is a Muggle, Marilyn copes with everything. Many witches wouldn't be able to do that."

"Why don't you approve of mixed marriages?" James asked quickly.

To Sirius's surprise, Alphard took the question quite seriously. "I won't give you any of that twaddle about wizarding pride," he said, "although I certainly would have a few years ago. But being on the other side of a fence makes you rethink and re-defend a lot of your convictions. It's not a matter of pride, but it IS a matter of culture. Muggles have not grown up with our ways, and we don't understand theirs. Many of those marriages don't work out. And then consider the children... where do they really fit in? They aren't one world or the other. When the adults marry, two consenting adults make a decision about their future and what they are willing to face. When a child is born, he or she does not make that decision. The parents are inflicting discrimination on their offspring."

The boys considered this. "But you said Mrs. Lupin adapted well," Sirius finally protested.

"There's oddities in every case, of course. Marilyn Lupin is an oddity."

It was funny that someone who would have to endure the prejudice of an entire world for the rest of his life could be so unaccepting, Sirius thought. But then, at least Alphard had offered logic, and maybe even had a point. Sirius wasn't sure he agreed, but it was better than Alphard just saying that he was right. He shook his head.

Alphard was standing. "I should go speak with Arden. He'll worry I'm encouraging you boys to burn down Hogwarts."

The boys both scrambled to their feet. "We'll stay here," James offered. "Let you and Mr. Black carry on a proper adult conversation. We've got some plans to make. Like how to get matches."

Alphard chuckled. "Cute. Well, good night then, boys. Sleep well."

"Wow," James said as the door clicked shut behind Alphard.

"Yeah." Sirius was still reeling. "Wow."

They both stood in silence for a moment.

"Y'know..." James began, that familiar tone in his voice.

"Uh-oh. I know what?"

"We don't have to start our search with the drawing room. Let's start with the library."

"Huh?"

"Well, we're here. Your parents are downstairs, and you'll know they'll be with Alphard for quite some time. Regulus is... well, where does the creep go?"

"Who cares? He's not here," Sirius said, nodding. "You're right. Let's do it."

They started with the bookshelves. Sirius had pursued them over the years, but never gotten that far. Far too many of the books had such boring titles. Purebloods: the Nobility of the Wizarding World. Halfblood Marriages: The Downfall of the Wizarding World. Pureblood Pride. Aristocracy of Wizards. Sirius made a face.

Farther down the wall James was muttering. "Most Potente Potions, that's in the Restricted Section at Hogwarts. Poisons and Antidotes, Potions and Hexes..., boy, your mom sure has a lot of potions books."

"Yeah. Mother told me she brews potions for Father. Here's something on the Unforgivable Curses, but man... it's dry. It looks like a legal discourse or the theory or something. Yeah, history, legal implications... it's not like it says how to perform them or anything.""

"Here's a load of transfiguration books," James said. "Lots on the Animagus transformation. You should nick a few."

"I should." Sirius picked up a book with a dust jacket that proclaimed Household Pests: How to Combat Them and idly flipped it open, half-wondering if it would have any hints about dealing with Regulus. "What are we looking for, anyway? How to Practice the Dark Arts: a Home Guide? How to Curse Family, Friends and Neighbors?" He looked down at the title page and froze.

"Sirius?"

"Raising Children in a Dark Home."

"Oh, go on... blimey. You're serious."

Sirius was staring at the front page, his eyes wide.

"Sirius...."

"It said Household Pests on the cover. It wasn't supposed to be this, James. It was supposed to be...."

Alarmed, James seized Sirius's arm and dragged him to a chair, forcing him to sit. "What does it say?" he whispered.

With numb fingers, Sirius turned to the table of contents. "'Protecting Your Children from Poisons,'" he read. "'Childproofing a Dark Home. When Children Start Asking Questions. No," he pushed the book away and shook his head. "People don't write books like this. This is a joke."

James took the book. "'Coping with Challenges to Your Methods. Discipline versus Abuse, and Dealing with Perception. Page 89.'" James flipped. "'It's a common assumption that those who practice the Dark Arts also practice neglect, mistreatment, or even abuse of their children,'" he read out loud. "'While this may indeed be the case for some wizards, it is not true for all those who practice the Dark Arts, just as it is true that wizards who avoid the Dark Arts are capable of committing these crimes. Despite prejudice to the contrary, the two are not connected. However, children in any house do require discipline in order to learn valuable lessons. In this chapter we shall examine the differences between discipline and abuse, discuss how to effectively discipline a child, and explain how a wizard can do so without being accused of abuse merely because he or she practices the Dark Arts." James whistled through his teeth. "This nutter's serious."

"My parents aren't abusive," Sirius pointed out, his voice shaking and cracking as he said it. "They're strict, but they aren't abusive."

"Um."

"They aren't."

James just shook his head.

"They aren't!"

"I never said they were." James tapped the book against his hand. "I'd say they practice Dark Arts though."

"We knew that," Sirius muttered

"I did."

"I did too. Alphard told me we're a family of Dark Wizards last Christmas." Sirius couldn't quite speak right as he looked at the book in James's hand. That book drove it home more than finding potions or artifacts or even a dead body would have done. His parents practiced the Dark Arts.

"It doesn't mean anything," Sirius continued. "I mean, it doesn't mean anything about me."

"I know." James shook it off. "Yeah. I know."

"Yeah. Me too."

"Come on," James said. "It's late. Let's go back to your room." He put the book back on the shelves and led a numb Sirius away.

Sirius didn't say another word for the rest of the night.

***

"Why can't we go outside?" James asked again, sounding utterly bored and frustrated.

Sirius couldn't blame him. The winter sky was a brilliant bright blue, and snow covered the ground. From the window they could see Neil and the others running and shouting to each other. "We're just not allowed," Sirius explained heavily.

"Regulus goes out into the courtyard," James pointed out. "And you said you used to climb down an apple tree to get out."

"The apple tree's not there anymore. Father had it removed after last Christmas." Sirius turned away from the window and examined the fabric of the couch intently. "And Regulus is allowed out to the courtyard because he was never caught playing with Muggles. I was. I can't do it, James. I'm not allowed."

"Since when have you cared about what's allowed?" James sulked. "Let's just open up the front door and go!"

"No!" For some reason, Sirius was shaking. "C'mon James. We go back to Hogwarts day after tomorrow. We'll just wait...." He felt James's eyes on him, but didn't look up to meet them.

"All right, Sirius," James finally relented. "If it's that important."

"It is."

James sighed wistfully and then turned to look back out the window. "Hey," he said, excited. "There's someone coming."

Sirius looked, and smiled widely. "That's my cousin Andromeda," he said, jumping off the sofa. "You'll like her- she's the best." He sprinted to the front door.

"Oh, good grief Sirius! You've grown almost a foot!" was the first thing Andromeda said when he opened the door.

"You look different too," he observed as he let her and her companion in. She did. She looked softer, somehow. Her eyes weren't so darkly lined like they'd been last time he'd seen her, and her smile was different too. And... Sirius sniffed again to be sure... she didn't smell like smoke.

"Sirius, this is Ted," Andromeda said, gesturing to the man beside her. Sirius liked him immediately. For some reason, Ted reminded him of Remus. It wasn't a physical resemblance: Ted was a tall, well built, blonde with bright blue eyes and freckles. But there was an air of quiet responsibility about him, and something Sirius immediately interpreted as sheer niceness. He smiled, receiving a tentative smile in response.

James, on the other hand, made a gurgling noise beside him, and Sirius was alarmed to see him gaping. He elbowed his friend in the ribs. "Nice to meet you," he said to Ted. "This is my friend, James Potter."

"Thought that's who you might be," Andromeda said with a smug smile at James. "Nice to finally meet you in the flesh, after all that Sirius talks about you. Are the other two around?"

"Um... er...."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "No. Remus and Peter are with their families. James's parents were away for the holidays."

"Too bad. Well, I'd love to stand here and chat, but I suspect that's not a good idea. Are Arden and Elizabeth in?"

"Yes. They're in the drawing room with Uncle Alphard."

"Oh goodie. I can burn all my bridges at once." She reached out and ruffled Sirius's hair affectionately. "You're too good for them," she said softly. "Remember that." She glanced at Ted and he squeezed her hand. "Well, Sirius, show us to the drawing room. Might as well round up your little brother too. I'll knock 'em all down at once."

Sirius nodded and led the way. "You never told me your cousin was gorgeous!" James hissed in his ear.

Sirius shrugged. "She's my cousin," he responded. "Cousins aren't gorgeous." He knocked on the door of Regulus's room. "You're wanted in the drawing room," he called.

The door opened, and Regulus glared at hum. His gaze eventually widened to include Andromeda. "Oh. It's you."

"Very gracious," Sirius complimented.

"Father says she's in deep trouble," Regulus told Sirius as if Andromeda wasn't standing right there. "She's been running around with a Mudblood."

Sirius hadn't heard that tidbit. His head snapped back to Ted. Ted shrugged, not in confusion or denial but in admission, and again Sirius thought it was very similar to a gesture Remus often made. Oh. Well, that explained it.

"Well, come on," he said gruffly. "Drawing room."

Regulus swept ahead of them. James walked beside Sirius, oddly quiet. Andromeda and Ted followed. When he glanced behind him, Sirius saw that Andromeda was pale and Ted was holding her hand. The feeling of foreboding darkened.

"Hello, Mother, Father." Regulus had opened the door to the drawing room. "We have a guest."

Elizabeth, Arden, and Alphard stood at their entry. Arden's faced hardened immediately.

"You!" he spat.

"Well, well, well. Merry Christmas to you, too, Uncle Arden," Andromeda said. Her voice had a hard edge to it, and Sirius was now sure the world was about to explode. "Ted, shall I introduce you around? This is my noble pureblood Uncle Arden, who is Head of the Department of Mysteries. Next to him is my lovely Aunt Elizabeth, also a pureblood, his faithful and likeminded wife. That's great uncle Alphard, who is usually quite reasonable but yes, is looking furious with me. Oh dear, I suppose I've gone too far. This twerp over here is the pureblooded Regulus, the hope and future of the Black family. Always pure, the Black family, although they're fancier and call it Toujours Pur. And you've met Sirius, who has a shot at being decent, if this family doesn't bring him down."

Ted bowed formally. "Very pleasant to meet you all."

No one smiled or extended a hand.

"I'm sure my dearest parents have already contacted you with my good news. No?" Andromeda asked as Arden shook his head. "Well, then, I'd love for you to all meet my husband Theodore Tonks, also known as Ted."

"Husband!" Arden interrupted.

"Yes," Andromeda said, drawing herself up to her full height. "Husband."

"You little hussy!" Arden raised his hand to hit her but Ted pulled her back behind him.

"I wouldn't try that, Mr. Black," he said quite pleasantly, catching Arden's arm. "Not a hand on Andromeda, or you'll live to regret it."

"How dare you! The likes of you threatening me!"

Next to Sirius, James made a small noise and backed against the wall. Sirius looked at his mother, silently begging her to say something. But her face was as hard and unyielding as his father's.

"Hussy!" his father was ranting. "You little slut! He's a filthy, unwashed, untrustworthy, scum of a Mudblood! You are a Black! What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that I'm in love, and Ted is the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Andromeda," Alphard spoke quietly, but Sirius's heart sank to see the displeasure in his beloved uncle's eyes. "You didn't have to do this."

"Actually, I did," Andromeda replied with forced cheerfulness. "For one, I'm not you, Uncle Alphard. I'm not willing to hide my greatest happiness for the rest of my life. And two, let's just say I -did- have to get married." She winked at him, and then grinned at Sirius.

"No you didn't," Elizabeth said in a flat, angry voice, understanding perfectly well. "There are other options."

"Maybe for you, Aunt Elizabeth. Not for me, or for Ted."

"So you'll ruin your life because of this?"

"Hardly. I'm twenty two. I have a good job at Madame Malkin's, Ted has an even better one managing the Wimborne Wasps. We'll be fine."

"But he's a Mudblood, Andromeda. An unnatural freak. And your child will be too! Get rid of it, get rid of him, and think for once about your duty and your family!"

"I AM thinking about my family! I am now a wife and I will soon be a mother!" Andromeda grinned, but the expression was wild and unhinged. "Just think, another Black to add to the family tree." She gestured at the tapestry.

"No!" Arden shouted. "That... that THING you carry will never be a Black!"

"We were thinking about names," Andromeda continued. "I quite like Arden for a boy, and perhaps Elizabeth for a girl."

This time Arden struck, but Ted was right there. He caught Arden's arm and twisted it, shoving him away. "That's your second warning," he said. "Next time, it breaks."

"You filthy-" Arden broke into a stream of bad language. Sirius was afraid he'd attack Ted again, but Alphard stepped in and restrained his nephew.

"I think you should get out of this house, Andromeda," Elizabeth said coldly. "Take your Mudblood husband and get out. You are no longer a member of the House of Black." With that she pointed her wand at the family tapestry. A jet of red light shot from her wand, burning a small black hole where Andromeda's name used to be. Sirius wanted to cry out, but no sound would leave his throat.

Andromeda's eyes fixed for one moment on the hole in the tapestry, and then she shook herself. "I suspected as much," she said. She looked at Alphard, but his eyes would not meet hers. "Well then. Happy Christmas to the House of Black from the Tonks family. Have a nice life." With Ted's arm around her shoulders, they left.

"Wait!" Sirius's voice was working again, but it was a strangled cry. "Andromeda, wait!" He started after her.

Arden grabbed his arm, and Sirius heard his father's stern, angry voice as if across a great distance, forbidding him to leave. He turned and pushed him away with all his might. His father's eyes widened with surprise as he fell back, and his mother flew to his father's side. Sirius didn't care, he was free and running... down the steps and out the front door and into the street when he finally saw them.

"Andromeda! Ted! Wait! Please!"

Andromeda turned around, wiping tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. "Sirius," she said softly.

"Wait. Please." Sirius stopped in front of them, panting. "I just wanted to say... I mean... I have to-"

"It's no use arguing, Sirius," Andromeda said. "It's done."

"No! It's not that! It's just... I wanted to say congratulations." Sirius was choking on the words. "To both of you. I want you to be happy and the baby to be happy, and I like Ted he reminds me of my friend and..." he dashed impatiently at his eyes, aware that the was opening and his father was coming towards them. "And I want to know when the baby's born and I hope I see it and...."

Andromeda hugged him. "I'll write to you," she whispered. "Once we're settled, I'll write. I told you that you were too good for this family. Good luck, Sirius. I love you."

Sirius nodded, too choked to say the words he'd never had the chance to say back, and watched them leave together. A hand grabbed his arm, as Sirius had known it would. The force made him spin around, and his father backfisted him across the mouth, hard, splitting his lip and releasing hot blood.

"In the house!" he roared. "Now!'

He couldn't run, there was no place to go. He couldn't fight, his father would win. He obeyed because no better option presented itself, and when he entered the house he was hardly surprised at the second blow.

He waited for the third, but it never came. Only a low growling, and his father's cursing. He opened his eyes to see Alphard pinning his father into a hold. "Go up to the drawing room," he told Sirius. "Your mother wants to see you."

He obeyed again, grateful to his great uncle. When he entered the drawling room, his mother was alone. He'd expected her to be angry and yelling. She was not.

She was crying.

In his thirteen years, Sirius had never seen either of his parents cry.

His mother reached out as he came in, pulling him into an embrace and burying her face in his shoulder. She whispered a charm and the flow of blood ceased. She wept into his hair. She held him close and cradled him. She hadn't been this affectionate with him since he'd been a small child... before Regulus came.

Finally she released him. "Go to bed tonight, Sirius," she said, wiping her eyes. "Let your father calm down. We'll talk tomorrow."

He wanted to stay with her, but he knew it was an order, no matter how gently phrased. "Yes, ma'am." He turned to leave.

"Sirius?" his mother called as he reached the door. He turned back hopefully. "Tell James I'm sorry he had to see this."

And his heart fell. "Yes Mother." He closed the door behind him.

James. He didn't want to face him; didn't know what to say. But there was no avoiding it as he opened the door to his room.

James was sitting on the camp bed, legs crossed, an open book resting on them. "Look here," he said as Sirius entered. "I think I found something that clears up the question we had about the Altering Spell we have to cast for the Animagus transformation." He patted the spot next to him and Sirius sat. "See? It's a more complicated version of a Switching Spell. So if we start by learning that, and that's just fourth year stuff, we could do that in our sleep, we'll have a good basis for the Altering spell." He handed Sirius an ice pack without comment. It was bitterly cold, but it felt like heaven when Sirius raised it to his cheek.

"We can master a Switching Spell," Sirius agreed. "Probably in three days."

James dropped an arm around Sirius's shoulders and pulled him close in a brief, tight half embrace. "Three days? I'll bet we can get it tomorrow, good as we are. Especially if we start tonight."

***

They spent the entire next day working on the Switching Spell, except for when Sirius was called to speak with his parents. The conversation went very much as he expected. Long explanations about why Andromeda was wrong, and what her decision had meant. They were calm and clinical, but the words were still filled with hate and fear in Sirius's ears. He wanted to ask what was so wrong with it. He wanted to ask how his parents could be so furious when it was obvious Ted was good for her. Yes, Andromeda HAD been trouble. She smoked, she drank, and from that birds-and-the-bees conversation Sirius was quite sure Ted had not been her only partner, and more than that, males hadn't been her only partners. And she hadn't been happy. Couldn't people see that? But with Ted she was, and she wasn't drinking and she wasn't smoking and she was settling down, like everyone had implored her to do. But he didn't quite have the guts to say it.

Then the long speeches about how they were concerned about him. That half-blood roommate. Those weren't the words they used, but Sirius blocked the real ones out in his mind. His concern for Andromeda. The detentions, the defiance he was showing at school, the trouble, the disdain for Regulus... they didn't want him to end up like Andromeda, casting off his family and alone in the world, all for some ridiculous principle he'd regret in the end.

Worry. Concern. Family. Duty. Pride. Nobility. His place. It should make him feel better, like it used to.

But they never once apologized. And they never said the word love. And this time, Sirius was aware of it.

***

"I wish we knew the charm to get rid of the bruises," Sirius whispered to James as they entered King's Cross. This time there had been no lunch at the Leaky Cauldron, and his father had dropped them off at the front of the station, leaving quickly as if he were embarrassed.

"Yeah, well, if anyone asks, I slugged you," James answered carelessly.

"Not fair. You know I'd kick your arse, not the other way around."

"You wish. Hey- there's Remus." James waved eagerly.

"Is his father with him?"

"Yes."

"Shit."

"Here they come," James said. "Oi! Remus! Happy New Year!" he shouted, jumping up and down, his relief at returning to Hogwarts utterly undisguised right now.

Sirius ducked his head as the Lupins approached. "Happy New Year," he heard Remus say to James. His voice sounded secure and happy. "Hey Sirius. How was your holiday?"

Despite himself, Sirius looked up. He heard Mr. Lupin draw in a sharp breath, and grinned feebly at him. "James and I had a go at each other over the break," he said, oddly ashamed for this man to see his face this way. Mr. Lupin pressed his lips together tightly.

Remus was looking from one to the other. "James did that to you," he said, doubtfully. "James."

"Yes."

"This James. Skinny Chaser-boy James."

"Yes."

"Bull." Remus was rummaging through his bag. "Dad, we'll be right back. Keep Mr. Fistcuffs out of trouble, will you?"

"Remus, where are you-" but Remus had already grabbed Sirius's hand and was dragging him towards the loo.

"We've got to get that covered," he was saying. "Or all of Hogwarts will be asking you questions. And am I right that you don't want questions?"

"Dead on."

"Thought so." Remus hitched himself up on a sink and straddled his legs, positioning Sirius so that he was standing between them. "Close your eyes," he commanded, unscrewing a small tube.

"What are you doing?"

"It's something Mum gave me. Foundation, she calls it. Makeup."

"Oh no! Hold up! I'm not putting on makeup like some poofter!"

"You are. It's not the Muggle stuff. It blends really well and hides bruises, although I doubt that's what the makers had in mind. It also does a number on scratches. Come on Sirius." Remus smirked. "I wear it all the time."

"What?"

Remus laughed. "Sirius, grow up. How do you think I keep everyone from asking questions after a full moon? Bruises are hard to heal, and often not worth the trouble. They're just blood under the skin, you know."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Anyway, you've never noticed me wearing it, right?"

"I guess." Sirius closed his eyes in submission.

Remus began to smooth the foundation over his face with firm, gentle fingers. "I assume James is up in arms," he said conversationally.

"He's regretting not taking me up on staying at Hogwarts."

"I'll bet." Remus's fingers were moving gingerly around his mouth. "You don't have very good Christmases, do you?"

"Guess not."

Remus didn't say anything more, just finished his task at hand. "There. Open your eyes." He leaned over so Sirius could see himself in the mirror.

"Hey, this stuff works pretty good," Sirius said, surprised. The bruises were completely hidden, and the makeup had adjusted until it matched his skin tone. There was still some swelling and his lip was still noticeably cut, but it wasn't so frightening now. "Thanks."

"No problem. It'll come off when you wash your face tonight, but I've got plenty. Feel free to dip into it."

Sirius snorted. "I'm sharing makeup with my roommate."

"Yeah, well just stay out of my mascara collection, will you?" Remus cuffed him on the shoulder. Sirius cuffed him back, and then abruptly drew him in for a quick hug of thanks. Remus's body stiffened at the unfamiliar gesture, but he awkwardly put his arms around Sirius and returned the embrace.

"C'mon," Remus said as they pulled apart and he slid off the sink. "Let's go show James your new look."

***

Despite his bravado, Sirius didn't much feel like talking for the rest of the trip. He balled his cloak up under his head and feigned sleep.

"Is he out?" James asked Peter.

"I think so." Peter nudged him lightly. Sirius ignored it. "Yeah. James, did his dad really hit him over break?"

"Yeah, but..."

"You're not going to say he deserved it, are you?" Peter asked sharply.

"No! It's just a really complicated thing, y'know? It was weird. His parents really are complete nutters. They're totally obsessed with this pureblood stuff."

"We knew that," Remus said dryly. "It only took us two years to get Sirius to not say the word 'Mudblood' at all."

"What's his place like?"

"Kind of like you'd expect. I mean, you can tell they're rich. Really rich. I don't think Sirius quite knows how rich they are. It's ridiculous."

"Sounds nice," Peter sighed wistfully.

"Yeah, but... it's dark at the same time. I mean, the place is pretty freaky."

"Are they definitely Dark Wizards then?" Peter asked.

"Did you ever doubt it?"

"Not really, but..." Sirius could picture Peter shrugging. "Sirius doesn't seem to be able to say it."

"Can you blame him?" Remus asked.

"You do," Peter protested.

"I do what?"

"You say you're a Dark creature."

"That's different," Remus said sharply. "That's me. It's one thing to say things like that about yourself. It's another thing to say it about the people who are supposed to love you."

If he didn't want to hear what was said so badly, Sirius might have sat up and clocked Remus for that remark. It hurt on about eight different levels. He squeezed his eyelids tighter, forcing his breathing to stay calm.

"Well, we found certain proof his parents do practice the Dark Arts. Sirius completely freaked out."

"Is that when his father hit him?" Peter asked.

"No. I don't think his parents know he knows. His father hit him... oh man, you should have seen it. His cousin- and you should have seen HER, she's gorgeous- showed up with her new husband, and the whole family flipped. Sirius ran outside after her- he's not supposed to go outside and he knows it- and that's when his father belted him."

Sirius waited for Remus to contribute his bit of knowledge, that his father had punished him last year for playing with Muggles outside. But Remus stayed quiet.

"I mean," James continued after that awkward silence, "he knew he was breaking the rules, and big-time, too. My dad's walloped me a few times when I deserved it. And it was really tense. Other than that one time, his father never laid a hand on him."

"Geeze." Peter shook his head. Remus still didn't say a word, and when Sirius cracked an eyelid he could see his friend staring out the window. From where he was lying he could see his face- it looked like Remus was crying.

"Yeah. He didn't run, I guess because he had no place to go," James was saying. "I just hope that the next time it happens, he knows that he does."

Sirius's eyes flew open, and he twisted his head to look at James. James was watching him, completely aware he'd never been asleep at all.