Accidentally In Love

Accidentally In Love, part 11: Crawling in the Dark

They were sitting at the breakfast table when the rustling of wings interrupted their meal. How had he never recognized the owl? Sirius wondered as Remus removed a message from his leg. He'd seen that owl his fourth year, when his parents had given it to Regulus. For the life of him, he couldn't remember what his brother had named the bloody bird. The owl stroked his head briefly along Remus's hand as Remus scritched him and then offered his toast crust, and Sirius scowled in annoyance. He reminded himself that Remus was just extremely good with animals, but the feeling that Remus knew this owl well kept coming back.

Remus read the message, his face impassive, although Sirius noticed the tiny break in his façade- his knee was shaking just slightly.

"What is it?" he asked.

"You know I can't tell you," Remus said, folding the letter. He penned a quick response. "Come here, Zair." Sirius started as he realized he'd never actually known the name of Regulus's owl.

"What are you smiling at?" he scowled, as Remus watched the owl fly away. "Or can't you tell me?"

Remus looked at him with surprise on his face. "Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I'm just amused by the name."

"What's so funny about the name Zair?"

"It comes from a Muggle book. I just think it's funny that the owner of the owl-"

"Regulus," Sirius muttered.

"The owner of the owl," Remus corrected, eyebrows arched in warning,"would use a Muggle book as source material. Especially when he was eleven."

"What book was it, anyway?" Sirius demanded.

"Dragonflight. Anne McCaffery."

"Have you read it?" Sirius was wondering how Regulus managed to get his hands on a Muggle book at age eleven.

"No. I'd never even heard of it before I-" Remus suddenly snapped his mouth shut. "Sirius, we really shouldn't be talking about this."

"It's my brother."

"That's not my point." Remus leaned back, his face annoyingly impassive and controlled, except for his eyes. "It's not that it's your brother. It's your safety, and mine, and... other people's. Sirius, you know I can't tell you anything about what I'm doing. I told you that. I shouldn't have even told you as much as I did."

"I know," Sirius sighed. He pulled himself together. Remus was right. If somehow the Death Eaters realized that Remus was a spy... Sirius didn't even want to think about it. And Regulus.... No. That was even more dangerous. And worse. "You're right. I just got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." He stood up and grabbed a paper sack. "Will you be home tonight, or does Fabian have you working?"

"I'm on the lunch shift today," Remus said, sipping his coffee. "If you can hold through until after supper, I'll make your day better." He arched his eyebrows and smiled slyly.

Sirius smiled back, even if he didn't quite feel like it. "Sounds great. I'll see you later, Moony."

"See you tonight."

Sirius dropped a quick kiss on Remus's lips and left.

***

"Longbottom."

Frank looked up as Sirius leaned against the wall of his cubicle. "Black," he returned, with half a grin. "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if I could borrow a case file from you."

"Who do you need?"

"Black. Regulus."

Frank's face clouded over. "I can't give you that, Sirius."

"Kinns has it?"

"No. I do. But Moody told me not to give it to you."

"Doge let me look at it," Sirius said.

"I know." Frank looked miserable. "And I understand, Sirius. I do. But you're not to be on this case at all."

"Moody doesn't trust me to be able to handle it," Sirius said, stung.

"Well, no, he doesn't," Frank agreed. "And he's right. If it was my sister, I wouldn't be able to handle it. No one's questioning your abilities, Sirius. It's protocol. And it makes sense."

"Come on," Sirius pleaded. "Frank, I have to see it again."

"Sirius, I'm sorry. But no." Frank's face was set firm with resolve, and Sirius knew that no amount of pleading was going to get through to him.

"All right," he said, vague plans to steal the folder off Frank's desk already forming in his mind as he retreated. "I just thought I'd ask."

The thing about Frank Longbottom was he could be incredibly stubborn when he set his mind to something. He wasn't one to back down, unless perhaps Alice was doing the asking (and probably bribing him with sexual favors.) Which was why Sirius was shocked when, that afternoon, Frank stopped by his desk.

"I have Black's case file for you," he said, dropping it on the desk.

Sirius looked up in surprise. "But you said-"

"I have the case file for you," Frank ground out between his teeth. Then he turned and walked away.

Sirius opened it. Contrary to what Moody and Doge and everyone else believed, he wasn't actually trying to get on the case. It was just... it had been so long since he'd seen Regulus. Unbidden, memories came to his mind and for long moments he was locked in his childhood, laughing and arguing with his brother.

The picture was a recent one. Sirius hadn't seen Regulus with his hair cut so short, only an inch from the scalp. The severe style accentuated his sculpted features and ice blue eyes, and made him look years older than he was. And harder, for that matter. Like a face on a wanted poster, except for the eyes. Sirius picked the file up for a closer look, and a piece of paper fluttered to the floor.

He hadn't meant to look at it- not really. But the date caught his eye. June 15, 1980. Today. He looked at the paper, written in Frank's neat block case. It was a page of Frank's notes, and stated that Regulus would be in the Sterling Artesa- a high-class Wizarding bar that Sirius knew Voldemort's followers frequented.

He stared at the memo for a long time, and then scribbled down the time and place.

***

The water was hot, and Remus's hands were stinging under it as he washed the glasses. He supposed that technically he could spell the glasses clean, but today the burning heat felt good. Necessary. "Very Shakespearean of me," he muttered. "'Is this a dagger I see before me?'"

"Talking to yourself again, Lupin?" Fabian called out.

"I'm the only one who listens," Remus shot back. He shut the water off and picked up a towel and began to dry what he'd washed before it streaked. "By the way, I won't be here tomorrow night. Dumbledore needs me to-" he broke off as he saw the look on Fabian's face: impatience. "What?"

"Again?" Fabian said.

"It's for the Order," Remus reminded him.

"I know. But next week is the full moon, so you won't be on for that, either. Not that I would want you to be," Fabian scowled, and Remus had to bite his lip to keep from scowling back. "I can't pay you for the time you're not here. And I need my staff here to keep this place running."

"I know. But-"

"It's for the Order," Fabian sighed. "Everything's for the Order these days." There was a bitterness and a resignation in his voice that Remus could understand very well. He shrugged helplessly.

"All right," Fabian finally sighed. "I'll get Elsa to cover your shifts. We all have to do what we can. I just wish we were done doing it."

"Me too," Remus agreed wholeheartedly. "Me too."

***

James was pacing, and Sirius watched him eagerly. "Well?" he finally said, when James didn't answer. "What do you think?"

"Sirius..." James said, halting and chewing on a fingernail.

"It's brilliant, isn't it? I mean, I can go and see him and he doesn't even have to know it."

"I've never known you to be so excited about seeing Regulus." James's eyes were wary behind his glasses.

Sirius considered that for all of two seconds. "I know," he said. "But Prongs, he's my brother." And he told himself that James's eyes didn't show any hurt when he said it like that. "And Prongs, if what the Aurors say is true- and I know it is- he's a Death Eater."

James finished with one nail and moved on to the next. "Padfoot, is this really a surprise to you?"

"Yes!" Sirius caught James's skeptical look. "Look, I always knew he was a prat. But a Death Eater? There's a world of difference between the two."

James's face was hard. "Sirius, let's say you go. Let's say he's there, and let's say he doesn't turn away at the sight of you and leave the bar and actually lets you talk to him. What are you going to say? What can you possibly do?"

"I can... I can..." Sirius stumbled over the words. Saying I can convince him to see reason or Tell him not to be a Death Eater sounded stupid, even in his own head. "I can see him again, James," he finally said. "He's my brother."

"I know, Padfoot," James sighed. "It's just..."

"Just what?"

"You're going to get hurt."

"No I'm not." James pursed his lips. "I'm going," Sirius insisted.

"And I'm coming with you."

***

Remus found Regulus in the door of Wandwavers, wet and shivering and looking in a fully foul mood. "I'm shocked you'd even suggest meeting here," he said.

Regulus snarled at him. "It's not like any respectable pureblood would ever be seen in a place like this."

"Given how often I come here with your brother-"

"Piss off, Lupin."

"You're cheerful today."

"I said, piss off."

Remus sighed with exasperation. "You're the one who owled me. You're the one who wanted to meet. You're the one who suggested Wandwavers. What do you want, Regulus?"

"I want to go somewhere where we won't be followed."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "And we're here because?"

Regulus grabbed Remus's hand. "Hang on," he ordered, and Remus felt the tug of side-along Apperation.

"You know," Remus said, as he blinked in the dim light of their destination, "you could have just told me to meet you somewhere else."

"No I couldn't."

Remus looked around. The room they were in was a bedroom. There was a single bed pushed against the wall, a huge, ornately carved wardrobe, a desk covered with textbooks and parchments and dried-up ink bottles. A Quidditch poster hung on one wall, and above the bed was a centerfold of Serena Salwick, dozing in a silk robe and with her blonde hair in curlers. Hogwarts robes hung limply on a hook, the green of a Slytherin Prefect's badge standing out against the black. The room had an unused quality to it, but Regulus was pacing it as if there was nothing unusual about it.

"We're in your parents' house," Remus realized.

"Brilliant. I couldn't have you just show up. And I couldn't take you back to my flat. Too obvious. I thought if we met at Wandwavers and disappeared, at least people would think..."

"I know what people would think," Remus said. Regulus used his wand to illuminate a lamp, and as the light flared Remus could see just how bad he looked. He hadn't shaved in days, and there were dark bags marking the pale skin beneath his eyes. His clothes were rumpled and stained. Remus had never seen Regulus look this unkempt. "What is it?"

Regulus sat down on the bed. "I'm leaving the Death Eaters."

Stunned, Remus gawked at him. "What did you say?"

"I'm leaving the Death Eaters."

"But when we came home from the Soviet Union, I was sure... I mean, for a while I thought you were changing your mind but then.... When we talked about-"

"It's not because of you," Regulus said, looking up at Remus with a sneer. "So don't go getting any grand and noble ideas like that."

"Of course not," Remus said, stung. "Heaven forbid anything a gay, halfblooded werewolf says makes a difference to you."

"Oh, shove it. This isn't about your pride."

"Then what is it about?"

"I want out."

"So get out. Hand in your resignation to your Dark Lord. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. Just something along the lines of 'Dear Voldemort, Fuck you. Love, Regulus.' If you want out, get out."

"For someone who's supposed to be so intelligent, and who is supposed to be spying on the Death Eaters, you're really a bleeding idiot, do you know that?" Regulus said. "It's not that easy."

Realization dawned. "They'll kill you if you desert," Remus said. In truth, he'd known that on some level all along, but had elected not to think about it, because what did that mean for him when this war was won one way or the other?

But Regulus's glare was one of contempt. "Of course they'll kill me, nitwit. I am a dead man walking. I've known that since those guards came at us in the Soviet Union. The Dark... Voldemort," he said deliberately, "knows my loyalty is waning. Nott took me aside two days ago. He told me that I'm under suspicion and if they think that I might desert, they'll kill me. Or my family." He laughed. "It's funny how ineffective their threats can be, isn't it? My father doesn't even know who I am or who he is half the time, and my mother isn't doing much better, either. She tried to make a potion to help him, but..." he shuddered, leaving the sentence hanging. " And Sirius is at the top of their list anyway, being an Auror and all. But it's just the thought." He looked away, and Remus rather thought he was hiding something else.

"You've known all along they'd do that," he said cautiously. "You were there the night they killed my mother."

Regulus nodded. "I know. And I couldn't do it. I've never actually killed anyone. Not until we were in the Soviet Union. I never wanted to. I didn't think it was going to be like this." He glared over at Remus. "And don't ask me what I thought I was getting into. I just didn't think it was going to be like this. Or I thought I could handle it. I don't know what I thought, but I didn't think this." He laced his fingers together and stared down at them. "There's a reason it's called an Unforgivable Curse. I didn't even know them, and I ended their lives. Just like that."

"You can't think about it that way," Remus said, shutting his mind against the image of rock falling down on two Soviet wizards.

"Why not?" Regulus asked. There was a calculating look in his eyes that Remus didn't understand.

"It was their job," Remus insisted. "They knew something like that could happen."

"It was their job. But it wasn't the only part of who they were. They had families and friends and parents and maybe wives and children. And we- I- took all that away with two words."

"Shut up," Remus growled.

"I always wondered why you weren't tempted by Voldemort's offer to have freedom to feed," Regulus continued. "I guess now I understand it. You couldn't live with yourself if you killed someone, could you?"

"Shut up!"

"Have you told anyone about what happened in the Soviet Union, Remus? Have you told them about the rocks falling? Have you told my darling big brother that you killed two men in the service of Voldemort?"

Every muscle in Remus's body tightened, even as a cold sweat broke out across his brow.

"It's not pleasant, knowing for sure that there's a killer lurking inside of you, is it?"

Remus didn't think- he just swung.

The punch was entirely unplanned, but delivered with form and force. He caught Regulus in the jaw, snapping his head to the side. Regulus rolled with the punch and turned back to where Remus stood, clenched and fuming. He smiled, a bloody red smile that looked mad in the dim light.

"You're right, you know," he said. "Nothing a gay, half-blooded werewolf says has any influence on me. But you and I are more alike than I thought. We've both been turned killers. Murderers. Not because we wanted to be, but because someone made us what we are."

Remus pushed him. "Like bloody hell we're alike!" he shouted. "YOU had a choice! YOU entered Voldemort's service voluntarily! YOU didn't have to go this way! I did!"

Regulus's eyes gleamed. "You didn't have to kill those men in the Soviet Union. But that wasn't what I was talking about, because that doesn't bother you, does it? To you, that was war and that was their job and your job and it's all right because the ends justify the means, don't they? I'm just surprised you didn't use Avada Kedavra yourself. But I watch you every time the word 'werewolf' is mentioned. You cringe. You hide. You're not like the other werewolves in Voldemort's service, are you? You don't want this."

"You know nothing about it."

"Oh no? What would you do to not be a werewolf anymore, Remus? What would you give to find some way to get back the life you were supposed to have?"

"That's not relevant. There is no cure."

"All right then. What would you do if you could find the one who made you what you are? What would you do if you knew exactly who he was and why he did it?"

Blood-red fury flooded through him, but this time it was not directed at Regulus. His legs gave out beneath him and he sunk to the floor in a puddle of robes and limp limbs, because he knew what he would do and he'd always known it, and the thought made him sick. Regulus leaned over him, close enough that the folds of his robes brushed against Remus's skin and he could smell the scent of whisky on his breath.

"You'd kill him, wouldn't you?" Regulus whispered. "There's nothing you can do to undo the past. You're a werewolf, and a werewolf you'll stay. I used an Unforgivable Curse not once, not twice, but three times, and I can't change that, either. Nothing can bring them back to life, and even if it could, nothing could change the fact I did it. But if you could get revenge... if you could take the bastard down...."

"In a heartbeat," Remus whispered back.

"Exactly. I have to die to get out of the Death Eaters, Remus. But some things are more important than that. I might have to go, but I'm taking a piece of Voldemort down with me."

***

The bar was very high-class, with polished chrome and mirrors and soft lighting. Expensive bottles of liquor lined the walls, and a wizard with black robes served patrons. Sirius found himself lapsing quiet, falling back into the manners his mother had tried so hard to instill in him. Beside him, James shifted uncomfortably. Sirius saw him toying with a frayed cuff of his robe.

"If this place was any stuffier, I'd be getting a nosebleed," James said.

"The funny thing is you probably have more money than most of them." Sirius twirled the stem of his wine glass between his fingers.

"Yeah, but I don't act it."

"No, you save your conceit for everything else," Sirius laughed.

"My looks, my charm, my intelligence, my sexual prowess, and Quidditch," James agreed cheerfully.

Sirius laughed again, but his eyes were darting around the bar, looking for Regulus. He noticed that the average age of the patrons was well over thirty, and wondered what would attract someone as young as Regulus here. He recognized some faces, but not many. "It's been a long time since I was in pureblood society."

"Can't say I blame you."

The silence that fell between them was awkward. James drummed his fingers on the glass top of the table, and Sirius surveyed the place again. He wondered how many people here were working for Voldemort. He almost opened his mouth to say as much to James and then closed it again, because saying something like that in the den of the enemy would be beyond stupid. Like this whole idea. This idea was stupid.

"Padfoot," James's voice broke into his thoughts. "You're going to drive me crazy, the way you're tapping your foot. Are you sure you want to be here?"

"Yes," Sirius lied.

"We can go," James said. "It's not like he even knows you'll be here, and what if he doesn't show up? Come on, Padfoot. We'll go back to my place and owl Remus and Peter if you like and play Exploding Snap and drink cheap booze until dawn."

"No."

James sighed.

The door opened, letting in a cool draft of air, and Sirius jerked around to see who entered. It was just another man escorting a woman, not a furtive teenager meeting a friend or a group of friends. He slumped in disappointment.

"Padfoot-"

"Don't even say it. I'm getting another drink."

***

Silence stretched for what seemed an eternity. The burning finally subsided, leaving cinders of shame. Unconsciously, Remus rubbed at his hand. The knuckles were split. Regulus saw the gesture and smiled. He'd healed his mouth and cleaned himself up, but Remus could still see traces of blood lingering on the gums.

"So what are you going to do?" he asked.

"I can't tell you," Regulus said. "But I need your help."

"How am I supposed to help you if you won't tell me what you're doing?"

Regulus chewed on his lip nervously. "That's the rub, isn't it? I can't tell you what I'm doing for a lot of reasons. That's why I needed you to understand how serious I am about doing this. You have to know."

"I believe you," Remus said truthfully.

"The problem is that you're staying in the Death Eaters for Dumbledore. Right?"

"What else would I do? I seriously doubt you're begging me to run away with you."

"Very funny. But if you know too much, it's a danger to you."

Remus goggled at Regulus. "Since when have you cared about what happens to me?"

Regulus stood up and walked over to the window. The moonlight illuminated the raindrops pounding against the glass, streaking tears of condensation down the panes. "I got into the Death Eaters with people I thought were my friends," he said finally. "I thought they were a second family. But only one person thought enough of me to tell me what people were planning, and that I was slipping. When we were in the Soviet Union, you..." he trailed off and shrugged. "You know, if things had been different- no, if I had been different, I think I might have liked you."

Remus opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Regulus didn't notice, as he was rooting through a nightstand and pulling out crumpled pieces of parchment. "We have to do it tonight," Regulus said. "It's going to take a few days-"

"We need to be done by Wednesday. Full moon."

"Your part will be done tonight," Regulus said, and Remus realized that he'd just agreed to his plan, no matter what. The realization sent a shaft of ice water into his stomach, and his fingers convulsed in the folds of his robes. Regulus was still sifting through parchments, muttering to himself in Russian.

"Taking no chances," Remus whispered.

Regulus looked up for a second and smiled wryly before going back to his plans.

A strange sort of calm fell over the room and surged through Remus himself. He struggled to his feet, surprised to find his legs would now support him, and walked over to the window. The pavement outside glistened in the light of the Muggle street lamps, and he could hear the sound of the rain and the wind. In the distance, there was a low rumble of thunder, accented by the sharp rustling of the papers. He thought idly of Sirius, and that tonight they'd meant to stay in bed, and that Sirius was likely sitting at home now, waiting for Remus to show up. The thought of Sirius sitting at their kitchen table or on the couch waiting for him left a cold lump in his stomach, but this was important. Too important. More- no. Not more. But different.

"I think Sirius always hated the view."

Remus turned to see Regulus still sitting on his bed, watching him.

"What makes you say that?"

Regulus rested his chin on his hand. "When we were little, there was an apple tree outside of Sirius's room. Mother and Father had it cut down when he was in his second year. I saw him looking out the window at the stump, and he said the only thing that had ever made this place bearable was the tree."

"He used to shimmy down it to get outside," Remus said. "It wasn't the view he hated, I don't think. It was the fact that it was an entire world denied to him."

"Father only wanted to keep him safe. At least, that's what he said." Regulus stood up and joined Remus at the window. "The thing is, he meant it."

Remus thought of his own father, wound up so tight in fear and angry at the world. "I know," he said sadly.

They stood in silence, watching the rain explode into teardrops against the window panes. Finally, Regulus spoke.

"I'm ready," he said. "I've got everything I need, except one thing."

"What's that?"

"I need you to take an Unbreakable Vow."

Ice flooded Remus's throat and stomach. "I'll do no such thing."

Regulus met his eyes evenly. "Yes, you will."

"What makes you think that?"

Regulus's eyes weren't gray, but they reminded Remus of steel anyway. "I need to be sure I can trust you to do what I say, without question."

"What are you going to ask me to do?" Remus said, wary. Regulus just stared him down, and Remus sighed. "You can't tell me that. Otherwise you wouldn't ask me to make an Unbreakable Vow." Regulus nodded tightly. "How would we do it? We need a bonder."

"My father is here."

"He'd remember me."

"No. He wouldn't." Regulus's words were clipped short. "I need to you do it."

Remus broke the gaze and looked out the window again. "Can't you trust me?" he asked.

"I don't," Regulus admitted.

"Fine," Remus sighed, and his soul twisted. "I'll trust you."

***

He hadn't seen Arden Black in years, not since that terrible Easter at the Potters in their fifth year. The tall, formidable, terrifying man he remembered was gone, replaced by a thin, wiry gray-haired man with shifting eyes and musty robes. He was sitting in the library, a book in his lap.

"Father," Regulus said, kneeling beside the chair. Remus stood over Regulus's shoulder, and from where he stood he could see the book had gory illustrations. Arden Black looked at his son with rheumy eyes and grasped his hand. Regulus covered the hand with his own. "How are you, Father?"

"I didn't know you were home, Regulus." Mr. Black's voice was softer than Remus had ever heard it.

"I just came home for the night. Father, I need some help."

"What sort of help do you need?"

"It's something I need to do for the Dark Lord," he said, and Mr. Black's face lit up with obvious pride. "It's important," Regulus said, "but it's also very important that it remains secret."

"Whatever the Dark Lord commands, of course," Mr. Black agreed. His eyes flicked up to Remus- a brief, searching glance that seemed like a vague attempt at recognition. Remus could almost see the mental shrug and dismissal as he turned his attention back to his son. "What do you need?"

"A Bonder for an Unbreakable Vow."

If Remus had asked that of his own father, his eyebrows would have shot to his hairline and an inquisition would have followed. Mr. Black simply nodded, as if Regulus had asked if he could make a ham sandwich. "Do you have my wand?"

"I do." Regulus disentangled himself and crossed the library. He pulled out a book and tapped it, murmuring the incantation for a Transfiguration spell. The book became a box, and Regulus fished a stone out from a chain around his neck. He pressed the stone into an indentation, and the box sprang open. Remus saw him take something gold out of the box and stuff it in his pocket, and then he removed a long oak wand and handed it to his father.

Mr. Black's eyes lit up and he trailed his fingers down the wood. "Yes," he whispered. "Yes."

Remus backed away.

"One spell, Father," Regulus said, in a voice that was almost sing-song. "Remember. You promised Mother."

Mr. Black's eyes were fixed on the wand, wide open and intent. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips, and Remus suddenly found swallowing very, very difficult.

You're insane, he told Regulus mentally. HE'S insane. But Regulus just grabbed Remus's hand.

"Are you ready, Father?"

Mr. Black snapped out of his trance. "Yes."

"All right." Regulus turned to face Remus, and Remus felt Mr. Black's wand trained on him. "Do you swear to obey me, without question, until my task is complete?"

Everything in Remus's body was longing to scream NO!, to snatch his hand back, and to break out of this house and run until his lungs exploded and his body collapsed. And yet... he closed his eyes. "I swear it."

He waited for Regulus to add on something more, but there was nothing, nothing but the fire wreathing their conjoined hands and sending heat up his arm. He tried to pull his hand away but it was immobile, locked in Regulus's grip until the fire died out. When it did, Remus found himself sprawled on the floor. He struggled to his feet, frantically dusting off his robes and looking at Regulus, expecting to see the usual countenance of scorn. However, Regulus's attention was entirely focused on his father.

"I need the wand back now, Father."

Mr. Black drew the wand against his chest. "No."

"Yes. You know the rules, Father. You're only allowed to have your wand if you give it back."

"You can't make me give it back."

"Yes, I can."

"No. You can't." Mr. Black's voice had sunk to a ragged hiss and he backed up against the shelves as Regulus advanced on him. "It's mine. Mine. I am your father and you will listen to me."

"Yes, Father. But you will give me the wand."

"No. NO!" As Regulus reached out, Mr. Black darted to the side, evading his son's hand. "It's mine, you little brat! I am your father and you will listen to me!" The back of his hand struck Regulus across the cheek.

Regulus rolled with the blow and came up immediately, wand in hand. "Stupify!" he cried, and Arden Black sank to the ground, unconscious. Regulus dropped to his knees beside him, prying the wand from his now limp fingers.

"Is he...?" Remus began, but he couldn't finish the sentence. He wasn't sure what the end of the sentence was.

"He's fine," Regulus said. He replaced the wand in its hiding place and then used his own wand to levitate his father to a couch. He carefully covered the man with an afghan and kissed him gently on the forehead. "Let's go."

"But your father-" Remus wanted to argue, but an unpleasant heat surged through him, making him dizzy. The Unbreakable Vow. He gripped his head in his hands until the pain subsided. Regulus simply raised an eyebrow, and then left the room.

Remus followed. "He'll be all right?" he finally dared, when they were back in the safety of Regulus's bedroom.

"He'll be fine. He's been like this for the past two years. This was a good day for him," Regulus said. He picked up a bag and rifled through it, checking the contents. "If you really must know, there was an accident in the Department of Mysteries."

"So that Quibbler article was true?"

Regulus made a face. "I wouldn't know. I never read that rubbish. But it wouldn't surprise me if someone had gotten hold of the story."

"Sirius-"

"Sirius doesn't know," Regulus said, his voice dripping with scorn as he fastened the clasps on the bag and set it on the floor. "Sirius doesn't know a thing that goes on beyond these walls. Sirius cares nothing for this family."

"So he'd like everyone to believe," Remus muttered. "Including himself."

"Well, he's successful then, isn't he? We're going now. I sure hope you can swim."

***

By the time he'd had three drinks, there was a looseness in his limbs and Moody's voice roaring in his head. Yet Sirius couldn't force himself to leave the place. Every time the door opened he jumped, heart in his throat, and it seemed like it sank lower and lower each time Regulus didn't enter. James's eyes were growing darker and a line was appearing between his brows, a sure sign that he was agitated.

An hour after Regulus was supposed to appear, Sirius was on his fifth drink. But even through the haze of the alcohol, a little clarity made itself heard. There were a lot of faces in here that looked familiar- a lot of faces that were on case files that required investigation.

James must have been thinking along the same lines. He didn't say anything. He couldn't- not here. But his fist kept clenching around his wand.

"Look, Sirius," James said awkwardly when Sirius sank back into his seat after jumping up as the door opened. "Don't take it personally. Maybe something came up. Maybe he decided not to come. After all, he didn't know you were going to be here. It's not like you arranged to meet."

"I know," Sirius sulked. He tried to pull himself together. "Let me get one more drink and then we'll go. I'll say this for the Death Eaters- they have good booze."

"Maybe you'd better not," James said, his knuckles turning white. "Maybe we should just get out of here."

He wanted to argue, but the Moody part of Sirius's mind realized that James was right. "All right." He fumbled for his wallet and left a few Sickles on the table and stood up, much to James's relief.

Several things happened at once, and Sirius would have been hard-pressed to put a sequence to the events. The door flew open, and then slammed shut again. Several Death Eaters stood to block their exit. Where before there had only been people in regular robes, these were dressed in the black robes and wearing the eerie white masks. There was the crack of Apparation, and a tall, thin man with a hood shadowing his face stood in front of them.

"Voldemort," James breathed.

A Death Eather pointed a wand, and suddenly James was on the floor, writhing with the pain of the Cruciatus curse. "Do not say the Dark Lord's name!" the Death Eater cried.

Sirius had seen Remus bleeding and burnt and dying. He'd seen Peter with a broken heart. He'd seen his family fall to pieces. He'd seen his adoptive parents burnt alive. He'd seen people hurt and dying in any number of ways in his work. But few things had ever felt like this- this tearing, fiercely protective pain that howled as if it were a part of himself under the Cruciatus.

The bottles of liquor behind the bar shattered, sending glass and alcohol spraying through the air. Sirius forgot all training, forgot all magic- he just launched himself at the Death Eater torturing James. Their bodies met with the dull thud of a collision, and they went sprawling to the ground. He swung and his fist connected with the Death Eater's mask, sending the mask flying and breaking the skin on his knuckles. The face beneath the mask made him gasp.

Bellatrix.

He hesitated for just a moment; the belief that he should not hit a woman was ingrained too deeply in him for quick action. It was enough, and her nails raked across his face. That startled away any sense of chivalry Sirius; he grabbed for her throat with one hand and her wand with the other. Her wand went flying across the room.

They rolled over, and magic was forgotten as they fought by skin, tooth, and nail; with Bellatrix, the last two were quite literal as opposed to figurative.) Sirius tasted blood in his mouth as one of her blows struck him across the jaw, and spat it in her face. She struggled against him and then her hands closed around his throat; and the world began to blur as she squeezed. He heard distorted laughter and James shouting, and then a shriek of pain from James.

"Enough!"

Everything stopped, even Sirius. The voice that spoke was raspy and had a snake-like to it, and it cut through the clamor and froze the blood like nothing that Sirius had ever heard before.

"Hold him," Voldemort commanded again.

A Death Eater swished his wand, and Sirius was held with a Full Body-Bind. He tried to grind his teeth in frustration- it was a spell he'd known as a first year, for Merlin's sake. But the spell held him fast; whoever was casting it was strong. Voldemort stepped forward and cast off his hood, and Sirius nearly choked on his own tongue.

Red eyes. High, etched cheekbones. Cold skin, white as death. Sirius had thought he'd understood that phrase before- he'd seen dead people and near-dead people- but he hadn't until now. Voldemort smiled at him, although

smile" seemed to not be quite the word Sirius wanted.

"Sirius Black," he sneered. "The great Auror. Caught quite easily, weren't you?"

And that was when it finally sank in that the entire thing was a trap.

***

The rain pounded against their faces as they perched on the edge of a cliff. "That's where we're going," Regulus shouted over the thunder, pointing his lit wand towards the cliff facing them. Remus squinted against the water steaming into his eyes, seeing nothing but sheer rock. With a silent curse, he cast an Impervus charm on his face. It helped, but he still saw nothing. Beside him, Regulus was stripping off his robes to reveal a skin-tight Muggle t-shirt and jeans. At his gesture, Remus shrugged out of his own robes.

"We're going to have to swim," Regulus informed him unnecessarily, and then jumped off the cliff.

Remus followed.

The icy water closed over his head, and Remus flailed as the cold water bit into his skin and flooded his open mouth. He surfaced, spitting, and looked around wildly. A strong hand grabbed the back of his t-shirt and he spun, tasting salt water mingled with fear and bile at the back of his throat. A bolt of lightning struck somewhere nearby and he saw Regulus's face, wet and white in the sudden flare. Regulus pointed and they began to swim, strong crawl strokes that cut across the water.

The muscles in Remus's limbs began to burn and his eyes stung, but he pressed on, gulping air and mist and water. The salt nipped at his tongue and palate, drying his mouth even as the surface remained wet. In front of him, he could feel the currents from Regulus's kicks, and the occasional contact with flesh or wet cloth. And then there was hard, cold, wet rock beneath his hand, shocking him out of his daze. Remus wiped his eyes and fumbled in his pocket for his wand. As the light flared, he saw Regulus clinging to the rock as well, his eyes overly large in the eerie light.

"What happened?"

"We got caught in the cross-current," Regulus shouted back, his teeth chattering. "We're not at the right spot."

Remus cursed. It did nothing to help, but it made him feel a bit better. Regulus, however, wasted neither time nor breath on words. His gray eyes were now calm and determined as he pulled out his own wand and looked around. He shook his head, pulled himself up and balanced the wand on the palm of his hand. "Point me," Remus heard him command.

The wand spun, and the tip came to rest to their right.

"Useful little spell," Regulus said, and even in the half-darkness Remus could see the smug expression in his eyes. Regulus began to creep along the shelf hand over hand, and Remus followed, moving his legs to try and keep them warm. They felt like logs of ice hanging off his waist. It was torturous work.

"I don't think we're too far off," Regulus said. "We couldn't have-" The rest of his words were lost as the rock shelf crumbled beneath his weight in a shower of gravel and stones, and his head disappeared beneath the surface of the waves.

For one brief, chilling moment Remus's heart leapt at the thought that he was free- that he could leave Regulus as dead and Apparate out of here and home to the warm safety that was their flat. The next moment he was muttering the incantation for the Bubblehead charm, and swimming down through the murky water, following a trail of blood as Regulus sank. It wasn't until his hand had closed around the cloth of Regulus's shirt and he was kicking upwards that the guilt seized his heart.

They broke the surface, Regulus coughing and sputtering as the cold rain hit his face. Remus pulled them over to the wall and continued along the shelf until he found an opening in the rock. He tightened his grip on Regulus and pulled him in away from the pounding assault of the storm. He swam until he felt the bottom against his body and the shore under his hands and the collapsed, his body shaking with dry heaves from the exertion.

"You saved my life," Regulus said, once he could speak.

Remus fell onto his back, one arm flung over his face. "You needed your chance at redemption."

Regulus smiled his twisted, wry smile. "Not redemption," he corrected. "Revenge. We're here."

***

A trap. How could he have been so stupid? Now that he was here, he could see it clear as day. Frank never would have given him that folder unless he either wanted him to see that note or he was forced to; he wasn't sure which thought was worse. And fuck it, even James had figured it out, and he wasn't the bloody Auror! Sirius strained every muscle, but the Body-bind held him tight. And in front of him, Voldemort ran long, white fingers up and down his wand.

"Sirius Black," he said, more to the assembled Death Eaters than Sirius himself. In fact, he turned his back on Sirius, which caused him to curse silently that he'd been so stupid as to get himself caught in a body-bind.

"It is a pity," Voldemort continued, "that Black is not here to watch his brother die. But still, it will serve as an admirable lesson in what happens to those who are not loyal to me." He smiled. "Of course, I intend to have Black killed as well. But not for a while yet. Crucio."

Sirius's world exploded into pain.

Somewhere, some coherent part of his mind whispered that both Remus and James had endured this as well. He could bear this. He could be strong.

But they could at least scream.

***

The blood sacrifice had been easy, given that Regulus was still bleeding freely from the where he'd struck his temple against the rock. Now they stood in a vast cavern, at the edge of a lake.

"More swimming," Remus sighed. His legs hurt; after their swim, they'd walked what felt like miles to this point.

"No." Regulus pointed his wand at the water, and a boat surfaced. "We take this."

"It looks like it will only hold one person," Remus said doubtfully.

Regulus pursed his lips. "It will. But it will carry both of us."

Something deep inside Remus absorbed the words before his brain could and left him speechless and gaping at Regulus.

"That's why I needed you," Regulus said, not looking at Remus as he climbed into the boat. "Get in."

Remus numbly did so.

The silence in the cavern was oppressive, only broken by the noise of the boat cutting through water. It was only then that it dawned on Remus that there were no waves. He looked over the edge of the boat, unable to see much in the darkness and through the black of the water. He reached out, but before he touched the water, a hand grabbed his.

***

Pain coursed through Sirius, bursting from every nerve and blurring his vision into a haze of red. He was vaguely aware of laughter, and of horror as well, but those were only on the fringes of his periphery. The rest of his being was centered on the pain.

Then it ended, in such abrupt relief that Sirius would have collapsed to the floor if he hadn't been held by the Body-Bind. His breathing was ragged and sharp, and even pulling air into his lungs (how did someone breathe during a Full Body-bind anyway, his mind asked irrelevantly) flooded him with residual pain.

The red in his vision didn't go away, and his eyes stung badly. Something trickled down his cheek, and Sirius cursed inwardly, hoping it wasn't a tear. He couldn't see anything but what was directly in front of him.

"Finite incantum," Voldemort said, and Sirius felt to the ground, limbs shaking. His chest and cheek were against the smooth wood of the floor, but when he tried to lift his head he could only manage a few centimeters before he collapsed again.

The door exploded open, and he heard the shouting.

***

"You idiot!" Regulus shouted, firing a bolt of lightning at the hand grabbing Remus's. The hand retracted and Remus snatched his own back. "Are you always this stupid?"

"I didn't do anything!" Remus protested.

"You were about to touch the water!"

"Well, I... it..."

"Look, just don't touch anything unless I tell you to, all right?" Regulus snapped.

"All right."

The boat continued on through the darkness towards a green glow.

It was a tight fit for the both of them. Regulus was sitting behind Remus, and he could feel his breath on his neck. The way it shuddered made him feel better.

"Remus?"

"Yes?"

"Are your feet damp?"

"Regulus, we just climbed out of the ocean. Neither of us thought to do a Drying Charm. My feet aren't damp, they're wet. But yes. There is water coming in over the top. Bloody hell. Can't you make the boat go faster?"

"Shite. You did count, after all. Any magic will wake the Inferi," Regulus said through gritted teeth, and Remus swore to himself.

"So will swimming. But we'll have a better chance if we stay in the boat."

"Right." Regulus tapped his wand to the boat, and they began to move faster.

The water around them began to move. Remus tried to swallow, but there was a lump in his throat. Water lapped over the edge of the boat. "Regulus...."

"I know," Regulus said, and Remus could hear the way his voice trembled. He didn't think it was possible for his feet to be any wetter or any colder, but the water that sloshed in froze his skin.

A hand closed over the rim of the boat.

"FUCK!" Regulus shouted. The hand was white and decaying, with moss growing under the fingernails. The boat tipped, and both men instinctively grabbed the other side. So did another hand, this one clearly female. The boat righted itself, sinking deeper in the water.

A stream of fire shot from Regulus's wand, hitting one of the hands. There was an unearthly, gurgling shriek, and the hand retreated. He hit the second as well. "Help me!" he told Remus.

Remus tried reaching for his wand, but that intense pain flooded him again. It took a moment to understand what was happening. "Regulus!"

"What?"

"Tell me to get my wand!"

"What?"

"You told me not to touch anything!"

"Oh, for crying out loud! It wasn't supposed to be that literal! Get your wand!"

The pain lifted and Remus seized his wand, just as another hand grabbed the edge of the boat. This time it was accompanied by an arm, and as the Inferius began to pull itself over. Remus could see its face, white and slick with water, black decay eating away at the skin in the cheeks. He had a vague impression of straggly black hair and feminine features before he sent a jet of fire at the creature and it roared flailing backwards and into the water.

The bottom of the boat scraped against the shore, and Regulus shoved him from behind. "Go!" he shouted, and Remus leapt out of the boat.

The Inferi emerged from the water, a putrid stench coming along with them. Remus gagged, but there was no time for disgust. He kept shooting fire at them, but the numbers were growing. Regulus was fumbling for something in his pocket.

"Keep them at bay!" Regulus ordered. "On my word, jump back next to me!"

Remus nodded, not able to spare any breath for any more of an acknowledgement. The corpses were closing in and panic was rising in his throat, cutting into the tissue with bitter bile.

A pair of hands closed around his throat, and he couldn't breathe.

He kicked backwards, instinctually, the way his father had taught him. The kick connected with the Inferius's knee, and the corpse buckled behind him, just enough that the grip was compromised. Remus was able to break the grip and spun around to throw an incantation... and then froze.

The Inferius looked like the others, rank with mold and decay, but he recognized the shape of the face and the wild gray hair.

Caradoc Dearborn.

His voice froze in his throat. He couldn't scream, much as he wanted to. The Inferius righted itself and lurched towards him.

It looked like Caradoc, in the face and the body and what was left of the features. But there was nothing of him in the eyes or movements. None of the life or curiosity that Remus remembered so fondly. It's not Caradoc, he told himself firmly. It's a fucking ZOMBIE!

"Incendio!"

The Inferius went up in flames.

"Remus! Get back here!" Regulus's voice cut through the roaring that was present only in Remus's ears. He obeyed, retreating until he bumped into the warm, living body of Regulus. Regulus bent and touched his wand to the ground, and around them a ring of blue fire shot up, casting an eerie light over them both. "Are you all right?" Regulus asked as Remus struggled to regain his breath.

"What is that?" Remus asked, nodding towards the fire.

"Oh. It's something I developed in Potions my fourth year," Regulus said, looking rather pleased with himself. It will keep burning for about fifteen minutes. We shouldn't need that long." He walked over to a basin that was casting a green glow. "Come here."

***

Everything happened at once.

Sirius gathered his strength and rolled over, fumbling for his wand. Several Death Eaters pulled theirs. James jumped in front of Sirius, standing between him and Voldemort. And an explosion sent a fireball roaring through the bar, culminating in the explosion of several bottles. The detonation threw several Death Eaters out of its path, either by force or by the sudden increase of pressure. Sirius didn't care which. Even Voldemort stumbled forward, a critical error as James fired at him. Sirius didn't catch the incantation, but the flesh on the Dark Lord opened.

And Voldemort began to laugh.

It was a terrible sound, high and thin and cold and like nails on a chalkboard being dragged down the raw nerve of Sirius's spine. From where he was, he could see James's face go pale, and no wonder. There was no blood. "He's not human," James whispered. But he didn't back down, even as the flames flared higher behind Voldemort.

Sirius noticed that Bellatrix still had her mask off, and she was staring in dazed awe at the wounds on Voldemort's body. The hate he felt fueled him to struggle to his knees, just as Voldemort sent a curse at James. James blocked it with a shield charm, and the curse deflected and shattered a table.

"James!" Frank Longbottom was hurtling across the room. "Get out of the way!"

"No!" James shouted. "Sirius is down!"

Get away, Sirius wanted to shout. You have a wife and a baby on the way. GET AWAY. But instead he cast a wide shield, and the curse that Voldemort threw at James rebounded and hit a Death Eater, who screamed in agony. Good.

James was kneeling down, grabbing Sirius's arm and helping him struggle to his feet. Another trickle ran down Sirius's cheek and he wiped it away, surprised to see a smear of blood on his hand when he pulled it away from his face. He looked up just in time to see Frank barrel into Voldemort.

For a moment, it was an effective ploy. Frank knocked Voldemort to the ground and managed to grab his wand. The Dark Lord must have been shocked by the simplicity or the physicality of the plan. But four Death Eaters were immediately on Frank. Sirius lifted his wand and blasted one away, and James took care of another two.

There was an explosion of red light, and Frank flew off Voldemort, his head hitting the floor with a sickening thud. Sirius stumbled forward, but James grabbed his arm and shoved Sirius behind him as Voldemort rose from the floor.

***

"What is it?" Remus asked, sniffing. The smell was rancid, like dead, decaying flesh.

"You don't want to know," Regulus said. "But we need to drink it."

"We?" Remus asked.

"We. There's ten cups in here. If you drink three, I can handle the other seven."

The eerie blue light etched Regulus's features set in determination. Remus wanted to argue, but something stopped him. Redemption, he reminded himself.

Regulus conjured two cups. He dipped them into the potion, and handed one to Remus. "Three," he reminded him, and then lifted his own cup and smiled bitterly. "To our lives as they should have been."

"Cheers." Remus put his cup to his lips and drank.

The liquid burned going down, foul and disgusting. Remus gagged, and somewhere distantly he could hear Regulus gagging as well. The world began to collapse in on itself, his vision blurring at the edges, and then someone materialized in front of him.

"Dad?" he asked. "What are you doing here?"

Next to him Regulus was drinking down another cup of the potion. Remus blinked and looked again. He could see his father clearly, down to the fury and hurt etched in his face.

Regulus groaned, and the sound jerked Remus back to the present. "He can't be here," he whispered. He filled his cup again and choked down the liquid.

His father solidified.

Some tiny, clear part of his mind noticed what was wrong first. It was the perspective. His father was looking down at him at too sharp an angle.

You do not need to be any more of a freak...

Remus hastily pulled his eyes away from the apparition. Beside him, Regulus had both hands on the rim of the bowl, doubled over and gasping. He was muttering something about his mother, but Remus couldn't hear the words. He focused instead on Regulus's hands- fine, long-fingered hands that were bone-white at the knuckles as he clutched the stone. The world spun again, and there was deep growling behind him- growling he would never forget, no matter how much he wanted to.

"What is this stuff?" he asked.

Regulus didn't answer; he only drank another cup.

"Sirius," he whispered. Remus blinked and steadied himself, and saw the sweat pouring down Regulus's brow. "Don't go. Don't go!"

Remus reached out and laid a hand on Regulus's shoulder, but Regulus flung it off and filled his cup again and drank, the green liquid running down his cheek. "Drink your last glass," he commanded, his voice hoarse and raspy.

The burning that had begun in his throat, but now it spread through his body, like the warmth of alcohol but far more sinister. He remembered the feeling well, although it wasn't as intense... something like a Crucio. Remus took a deep breath and downed the last glass.

He remembered pain in his shoulder, the Cructius curse along his nerves, his bones shattering each month. He saw faces, his father, his mother, heard her screaming, heard him shouting. He was four, he was eleven, he was fifteen, he was nineteen. And then he remembered he was twenty, and he was in a cave with a Death Eater trying to destroy Voldemort, and he pushed the memories away.

The potion in the basin was nearly gone, and as Regulus scooped up the last cup, Remus could see a glistening silver locket underneath. "Is that what we're after?"

Regulus didn't answer; he just sagged against Remus for a moment, and then pulled himself to standing and pulled a tiny bag out of his pocket. "Enlarge it," he told Remus, his voice rough and raspy.

Remus obeyed.

Regulus's hands shook as he swapped the silver locket with a golden one. He then reached back into the bag and produced a vial that Remus enlarged, and poured more of the green potion into the basin "It's done," he whispered.

Remus smiled, but the smile disappeared immediately when he realized the fire was getting low. "Regulus...."

"I know. Get out your wand again, Remus." Remus obeyed, and Regulus closed his eyes. Up close, Remus could see his face was wet, but whether it was sweat or tears was impossible to tell. "You'll have to give the blood sacrifice on our way out. We won't be able to take the boat, either."

"What do you want?" Remus asked.

Regulus smiled. "Make me fly again."

***

Red eyes. How did a man have red eyes? What part of him did he have to change or lose? Sirius was no stranger to odd eye color- not with the amber eyes that both Damien and Remus had, or Doge's deep violet, or Lily's electric green. But those were rare, not inhuman. These....

The fire raged on behind him, but neither Voldemort nor most of his Death Eaters seemed overly concerned. James, on the other hand, was watching it with wild eyes as the flames crept closer to Frank's inert form.

Voldemort stepped closer, wand raised.

"This, my loyal friends, is what happens when you turn your back on me. Black was loyal once, but past service cannot redeem what has been destroyed. And when loyalty is lost and trust is broken, the price is dear."

The fire suddenly flared, turning back on itself and climbing higher, and Voldemort's concentration was broken for a moment as his eyes flicked to follow the progress. James barreled toward him, wand raised and flashing, but he was thrown back as if he'd hit an invisible wall. Voldemort smiled and sent a curse, but the curse also rebounded, striking a Death Eater behind him. The Death Eater screamed, a hideous, gurgling sound that indicated whatever Voldemort had used, it had been nasty.

That was as much as Sirius thought before he saw the misshapen robed figure with a rag across her face and a wand out.

He'd seen people dressed like that in Voldemort's service once or twice- people without masks, but with deep hoods, cowls, or veils of some sort covering their faces. Of course, "people" wasn't how they were generally listed in the Auror files, but years of association with Remus made Sirius check certain assumptions. But no werewolf, banshee, vampire, or other dark creature had the shape that the one- no, two, he realized, as he spotted another- had. Swollen at the front to a disproportionate shape, both of them. Of all Order members to answer the distress signal James must have sent....

"Oh, Merlin, no," he whispered.

He wanted to run forward and throw them both out of the way, or yell at them to leave. But his knees buckled and the room spun red, and from behind him he heard Bellatrix yelling, "Crucio!," and then pain took him again. A hand grabbed his arm and he felt a shaft of fire through him as his world jerked sideways, and then he knew nothing more.

***

The air rushed around Remus's face, but nothing cooled the burning coiled deep within his guts and wrapped around his intestines. Under his legs he could feel the labored breathing of the black Pegasus, and could only imagine what pain Regulus must be feeling. And yet, the jet wings still beat and they soared out of the cave and over the ocean, high enough that Remus felt like he could reach up and touch the stars.

They came to the top of the cliff where they'd left their robes, and Remus slid off the Pegasus's back. To his surprise, the Pegasus nuzzled his arm briefly. But when Remus transfigured Regulus back into a man, he fell to his knees, coughing.

"Maybe you should stay Transfigured until we can figure out how to treat this," Remus suggested.

Regulus shook his head and wiped his mouth. When he pulled his hand away, Remus could see dark, wet streaks on it. "This has to get done," he said, eyes blazing. "It has to- what is that?"

A glint of silver caught Remus's eye, and he turned to see a silver duck, gleaming in the moonlight. "Remus," James voice said, "come to the Shack as soon as you can. There was a trap. Sirius is hurt."

The words drove a spike of fear through Remus's soul. James wouldn't contact him like this unless it was... unless....

Regulus coughed again, the spasms wracking his body. In the moonlight, his face looked white, and Remus had the suspicion that better light wouldn't make it look any healthier. "Regulus?" he asked.

Regulus shook his head. "You have to stay," he said. "I need you here."

"For what?" The words rushed out and filled Remus with a haze of pain again, but keeping them inside would have hurt just as much. It made his head spin and ache and his legs collapsed out from under him, and he landed in an undignified heap next to Regulus. "He's probably dying," Remus whispered.

"So am I," Regulus said.

***

"Damn it, Lily, I told you-"

"James, let's not argue about this right now." Cool hands drifted over Sirius's brow. "There are more important things to worry about. Alice, how's Frank doing?"

"I've gotten half the potion down his throat."

"Good. Keep going. Sirius, can you hear me?"

Sirius tried to answer, but nothing worked.

"Will he be all right?" James demanded.

"I think so," Lily said cautiously. "He needs time. His body took an enormous trauma from what you told me. Enduring a Cruciatus under a Full Body-Bind..." her voice trailed off.

James took a Crucio too, Sirius wanted to say, but his mouth wouldn't move.

There was the crack of Apparation, and Sirius's muscles relaxed until he heard Peter's voice. "James! You look terrible! What happened?"

"They walked right into a bloody trap is what happened," Alice growled.

"Alice!" Lily admonished. "It was an ambush, Peter. Death Eaters, at the Sterling Artesa."

"Are you all right?" Peter asked, and then Sirius heard him gasp. "What happened to Sirius?"

"Cruciatus during a Full Body-Bind," James said, and his voice was tired and torn. "Lily says he'll be all right."

"Why isn't he at St. Mungo's?" Peter demanded. "And where the bloody hell is Remus?"

"He's not at St. Mungo's because the Death Eaters would expect that. It's not safe," Lily retorted. Her silence on the second matter rang more loudly than any words she could have shouted.

***

They were back in Regulus's childhood bedroom, with the old Hogwarts robe and the centerfold witch and the neatly made single bed. Remus helped Regulus into the bed and lit a lamp. The dim glow didn't do much to illuminate the room, but rather served to accentuate the shadows that lurked in the corners.

"What do you want me to do?" Remus asked.

Regulus shook his head. "Just stay while I sleep."

"Can't I go?" Remus pleaded. "I'll come back. But Sirius-"

"No, you can't." Regulus lay back. "If something happened in between-"

"Nothing will happen. No one knows where Sirius and James are. No one knows where you are."

"I don't care." The light from the lamp flared, and Remus could see the harsh lines under Regulus's eyes had deepened, cutting into his young face. With a start, he also noticed tinges of gray in the black hair. "Remus, this is too important to risk anything. Do you understand me?"

Remus thought of Sirius, hurt and possibly dying in the Shrieking Shack. Then he thought of Voldemort, reduced to ruin. If there was anything Sirius Black would die for, it was that. He sighed and sat down next to the bed.

"So what exactly did you do? I saw the locket."

"You are nosy. Let's just say I gave Voldemort my resignation letter."

"Really?"

Regulus was wearing a twisted smile. There was a dark humor in that smile, but bitterness, anger, and regret as well. Remus hoped he'd never see another one like it. "It goes something like this: Dear Voldemort, fuck you. Love, Regulus."

Remus stared at him for a long moment. "I was wrong," he finally said, with the hint of a laugh. "You're a lot like Sirius."

"No, I'm not. But thank you."

***

"James?"

"Sirius!" James flew to the side of the bed. "Are you all right?"

"What happened?" Sirius asked.

"It was a trap," James said. "As best as we can put together, Regulus never was going to be at that place tonight. Someone put the note in Regulus's file."

"Frank?" Sirius asked, although he doubted it.

"No. He came to the Sterling Artesa once he realized you'd seen the file. He... he never meant to give it to you."

"That's an understatement." Alice joined James. Sirius tried to smile at her, but he was too exhausted. "He was furious when he realized that he'd given it to you. Unfortunately, he still has no idea of who is using the Imperius Curse on Aurors. And you? What were you thinking?"

"Alice, please. I know."

"When Moody finds out-"

"He's not going to find out," Sirius said.

"Yes he is. I already sent an owl."

"Alice!" James protested.

"James. Moody has to know. So does Doge. And Lupin. Speaking of which, where's Remus?"

"I sent him a message," James insisted. "He'll be here, I'm sure."

Sirius remembered the owl from that morning, and wondered if James was right.

***

The house was quiet- so quiet that Remus could hear the ticking of a clock and Regulus's uneven breathing. He sat by the bed, elbows digging into his knees and head cradled in his hands. Outside, the world was the dull gray that permeated before the dawn broke. His stomach twisted, although the physical pain was beginning to subside. He wondered how Sirius was faring, and was afraid to think too deeply. But no spectral message came from James, so Remus had to assume Sirius was surviving.

Regulus let out a breathy, uneven sigh, and when Remus looked, his eyes were open, eerily blue in the dim light, as if they were the only color in the world.

"How are you feeling?" Remus asked.

"Better." Regulus struggled to sit up. "What time is it?"

"Almost five, I think."

"All right." Regulus scrubbed his face with his hands. "We don't have much left to do."

"What are you going to do with the locket?"

"I'll destroy that on my own. Your part is done."

"Oh." It seemed anti-climatic, in a way. "Well then."

"Right." Regulus cautiously swung his feet out of the bed. "Right," he repeated.

"What's going to happen next?" Remus asked.

"You'll be fine, I suppose, as long as you keep your wits about you. You might feel the effects of the potion for a few days, but it will fade."

"And you? You claimed you were dying."

"I will be," Regulus said. "I'm going to destroy the locket and then I am going to leave here. I am going to let them find me, although I won't let it look that way." He handed a note to Remus. "You will give this to Macnair. Tell him your conscience won't let you keep it, because you are a faithful servant to the Dark Lord. That will keep them off your tail. I wrote it down for you."

"I'll remember," Remus said, offended.

"No. You won't."

Oh. He should have known. "And you?" he pressed, ignoring the subject of a Memory Charm for now. "Why are you doing this? Why not come over to Dumbledore's side?"

"Do you know what Sirius was doing tonight?"

Remus blinked. "No."

"They set a trap for him. They're going to kill him, as a lesson to me. And then my father, and then my mother." Regulus was stone-faced, his voice was flat. "That's why we had to do this tonight. Sirius can handle himself. My parents can't."

"So you're going to-"

"Let them catch me and kill me before they can hurt my family. Yes."

Remus had to look away, because somehow he didn't think Regulus would appreciate the tears that flooded his eyes. But Regulus saw, and reached out and touched his hand.

"Thank you."

Remus wiped at his eyes. "I wish I could say I'll always remember this."

Regulus made a sound of regret. "I wish you could, too."

***

It was midmorning by the time Sirius woke up. The sunlight slanted in through the boards over the windows of the Shrieking Shack, and for a moment Sirius could almost imagine he was back at Hogwarts. "We're going to have to put up some significant protection spells," Lily said as she handed Sirius a potion to drink. "I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not. But you'd better put some up at your place as well. This is the second time you've crossed Voldemort."

"Third, actually," Lily sighed.

"What?"

She looked guilty. "It was right after Remus's mother was killed. We didn't tell you because you had so much else on your mind."

"Lily! PRONGS!"

"He and Peter took the Longbottoms back to their flat," Lily said primly. "He can't hear you. Now, how do you feel?"

"Stop trying to change the subject, Evans," Sirius growled.

"Same to you, Black. How do you feel?"

"If I can forget about the reaction I'm going to get from Moody tomorrow, not that bad," Sirius admitted. "Better than I should."

"Liar."

"Well, yes."

There was a crack, and James and Peter stood in the room. James was disheveled and worn, and there were dark circles under Peter's eyes. "Are they home?" Lily asked.

"They are. We should get Sirius home as well," Peter said.

"And when we find him, I want to know where the hell Remus has been all this time," James snarled. "When he was hurt-"

"James," Sirius tried to interrupt.

"No. This isn't right. When he was hurt you-"

"Prongs."

"Padfoot. This isn't how it works."

"It is when we're at war. There's an explanation, and it's probably not good."

James opened his mouth to argue, but Lily laid a hand on his arm. "Sirius really needs to sleep, James. And so do we."

"After the spells are up on that flat," James said.

With James on one side and Peter on the other, Sirius eased himself out of the bed. He was dizzy and sore, and he was grateful for the presence of his two best friends. "I'm ready," he said.

"All right. Hang on, Padfoot." James put his arm around Sirius's waist, and then Apparated.

The flat had never looked so good to Sirius before. He closed his eyes with relief when he saw the dirty dishes in the sink, the papers spread out on the table, and the sunlight slanting in through unbroken window panes.

"Lily will have my hide if I don't get you straight to your bed," James said with a forced laugh.

"I don't care. She's right. Can you...?" he couldn't finish the sentence, but he didn't have to. James understood. They began to walk to the bedroom. "James?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being there. For saving my arse."

"Just remember it," James said, all false bravado.

"And thank you, too, for not saying you told me so."

James just smiled.

They had reached the bedroom door, and they both stopped short.

"Well, I'll be buggered," James breathed.

Remus was in the bed, fast asleep. His face was drawn and white, and a lock of his hair had turned completely gray.