Maybe Someday It'll Be Different

He sat there, everything from earlier that afternoon replaying over and over again in his mind. "I love you Draco, is that what you wanted to hear me say? Isn't that what you've been trying to drag out of me for days now?"

He remembered how glassy her warm brown eyes had become while she held back the tears he knew she wanted to free herself of, but she wanted to be strong, not wanting him to see her break . Draco remembered how he stood there watching her with a stoic expression, trying to play it off like her words had no effect upon him, like those words didn't make his heart flutter. He wished he would have reached out for Hermione and held her instead of standing there like the cold-hearted bastard he had proven himself to be.

He wanted to pour his heart out to her and just confess to her that he cared her just as much, but instead he had just turned and walked away. Walked away from not only Hermione, but his own heart as well, a heart that was never suppose to feel. . .

As smart as Hermione was, she never understood that he, Draco, was a Malfoy, and Malfoy's do not fall in love with Mudbloods. It nearly killed him to think of her that way. He knew she wasn't a Mudblood, but he can't just walk away from his family for any girl, no matter how much he loved her.

Draco felt the hot sting of tears hit his eyes, but he refused to give into them. He loved Hermione, even though he had never confessed so much to her. He knew better then to tell her how he felt. She's full of all these silly little ideals that they could be together forever and be happy and live happily ever after like in those muggle fairy-tales. Hermione doesn't realize that Lucius would never permit them to be together, he'd die before he'd let that happen, and in the process he'd kill Hermione also.

As much as it wounded Draco to do so, he had to push her away. He had to be cruel to be kind, if only to save her life. He would like to believe that there is someone out there who deserved her more than him, someone who could fill in the space beside her that because of blood, and stubbornness, he could never fill. But deep down he knows no one could ever take his place. No one would ever deserve Hermione as much as he did. It's not his arrogance that tells him this, its everything in her eyes that does, and its everything within his heart. Nothing feels right without Hermione, and fro her nothing feels right without him.

Draco's watched her more intensely, hoping to catch her eye, but she never looks in his direction. He sees her red-rimmed eyes and it kills him to know that he is the cause of both that and her fragile broken heart, but he's comforted by the fact that Harry and Ron are there for her. He at least knows that if he cant be there to love her, they will be, ready and willing to help her and protect her in every way wizardly possible. Draco certainly knows that Ron will be more than willing to give Hermione the life she wanted with him, the 'Happily Ever After' she dreamt of with Draco. For now, though he can't be with her, he can watch her and smile at the fact that she will never forget him no matter how bad she wants too. Hermione's too sentimental to ever forget him, and he loves her for that because he knows he'll forever be apart of her heart.

One day in the future maybe things will be different. One day after Lucius is dead and gone, Draco hopes to sit down with Hermione and confess everything and make her understand that he was only a bastard to her to save her. That he only did what he did because he loved her, but he knows that will probably never happen, she will long be married by that time, and he himself will be as well. He and Hermione are just not meant to be together, there are too many negatives in their equation, that it will never balance out. But he can still dream that they can, and he can ease both his heart and mind that maybe one day he can confess everything to her and have everything go back to the way it was. Even if it'll never come true, its still a nice dream to have.

Georgia M. Boyce

November 10^th 2003