Ever Dream

**********

Ever felt away with me

I remember how you held my body wracked by sobs that first time, when Ron died. You, of all people gave me the comfort I needed... I don't know why I let you so close, I drew you into my pain, and instead of drowning you showed me a way out along the lines of your eyes. I remember looking into you and telling you everything that hurt... I took you into my world of memories, grief and the enormous emptiness Ron's death left in me. I remember your gaze losing its edge when lost in my eyes. I remember the angles of your mouth tremble, then slowly spread in an encouraging smile. When hours later a red-eyed Hermione found me, before the portrait of the Fat Lady, I looked around, searching for you. But you were gone.

Just once that all I need

The next day, when I awoke, my first thought was you. Could I trust you? I looked for you, trying to turn my swirling emotions to anger, so when I saw you I could scream at you and insult you and make myself forget how I wanted to touch you, to hold you, and to make that person inside you I saw back then come out again. I was mad at you, how could you do this to me? I wanted to see the real you again, if only for a moment.

Entwined in finding you one day

Having grown up with six brothers my first plan was to challenge you. To make you angry, to make you break this calm, this platinum mask you wrapped yourself into. I wanted to tear down your walls, to pull the plug, to tear you apart and let you come out of the Malfoy name... I spent so many nights to dream that you'll come to me again, Draco-without-Malfoy. Where have you gone?

Ever felt away without me

That October day changed it all. The Charms Classroom seemed a silent spot to be, and nowadays there was always someone crying around in the Gryffindor Common Room... I came away, not really bearing it anymore. Oh, how I hate Tom... How I can't bear that he'd curse Malfoy on just-Draco's genuine smile, making him a frozen statue. And you came in, you, just you, leaving your house and name outside the door. I could see your eyes now, a shade of blue playing inside the grey, softening your look, entwining it in mine. So I couldn't do anything but kiss you. And you kissed me back. "Me" and "You" stopped existing, when we became "Us".

My love, it lies so deep

I couldn't believe myself. You're supposed to be the enemy, but then how could I love you so much? Maybe because I could see the differences between you and your father that everyone else missed. Your gaze is the soft blue-grey of summer storms, not the piercing lightning of Lucius, who is my brother's murderer. Your hair has a slight wave, and your smiles have the sun inside. You are not your father. You have everything good in you.

Ever dream of me

I often dream of you, and the dreams are almost always in the shaded brownish greys of a fading photograph. My own feelings are lost in a sea of emptiness, wind in my hair, tears on my cheeks, your voice a haunting song on the endless waves of sorrow. I call out to you, but there's no one beside me at night. The burning emptiness beside me lies on the icy sheets of a bed too big for me alone.

Would you do it with me

Why couldn't you trust a Weasley enough to let her help you? Why wouldn't you open your lips and tell me what's wrong? Why couldn't you confide in me? I thought love united two people more than secrets and taboos. I thought love meant sharing in good and ill. I thought love lasts forever. But not between a Weasley and a Malfoy, I guess. A name means destiny.

Heal the scars and change the stars

But we could be much more, if only you could see all I see! Tom had hurt me deeply, and I will bear it with me all my life, but I've moved on and try to be happy none the less! Sometimes it hurts and sometimes it tears and sometimes I still have the nightmares, but in the morning I get up and fight on. I know we live difficult times, but we can change it, Draco and Ginny can change it all, because we are in love and that is what counts! We can change our destinies, and we can overcome everything for those we love.

Would you do it for me

You know that if Tom comes again, I'll be his victim, whether because Lucius told him of the diary of because I'm Harry's friend, or because I'm Dad's daughter... Don't you tell me you won't push me in danger by telling me something, just say it, and say if you are going to walk the only path we have to be together? Because the only thing I want is to be with you forever. What would you do, to be with me?

Turn loose the heaven within

We could run, play hide-and-seek, make snow angels together! We could leave each other little messages and we could fall asleep watching the stars. You could smile to me, and look into my eyes like you used to, burning all through my blood, making me blush just to look at you. You have always been so beautiful; I fell to your graces so long a time ago.

I'd take you away

I'd take you hand and lead you away from everything, our fathers, our names, our Houses and our so-called Destinies. I love no one like you. I'd go anywhere with you. I'm afraid of what I'd do for you... But somewhere else, where we could be just Draco and Ginny, we could be forever free.

Castaway on a lonely day

We'd travel with Bill, go to see Charlie, and we'd go with the gypsies around Europe, and we'd go to Venice, it would be just Us, the ones who left their names behind. Just Us, without wars, without Tom, without anyone else but Us. We'd see the woods where faeries dwell, and try to find gold in deep-blue rivers. I'd be Just Ginny, and you'd be Just Draco, and then the world will disappear and just me and you would remain throughout eternity.

Bosom for a teary cheek

And we'd laugh and cry together, and we'd sometimes, when visiting big cities full of colours, buy the Daily Prophet, but then we'd never read it, because everything in the world would be just you and me. My mind screams at me, how can I be so ready to leave everything behind for you, when you cannot step through the door again and be just you again? I'm such a fool.

My song can but borrow your grace

Sometimes, when I talk with Harry or Hermione, or Neville, I see you from the corner of my eyes, watching me from afar, and I'm afraid of looking at you directly because the shadow of longing I imagine to see there would be replaced by shards of ice. Though all, you are like a diamond; fair, arrogant, impossible to break.

Come out, come out wherever you are

Where has Draco gone from your eyes? When did Young Lord Malfoy win? Why did this Slytherin Prince chase away my love? Why did you kiss me like that and then say me those things? Where had my sweet Draco gone? Harry said you have revealed your true colours, but I know you have a reason, you must have a reason to do this... my Just-Draco has gone into hiding, only I do not know why. I know it is there, I saw it once, when you thought there was nobody around.

So lost in your sea

I've seen it immediately; when you were lost in your thoughts in the Library, head on your crossed arms, silent sobs wracking your body that you are crying for me. You have so much sorrow within, why would you not share it with me? I let you in on my pain yet you keep yours inside. You were so alone, as alone as I was, but by the time I walked upon you, you looked at me with a cold stare, and there was nothing I could do to reach your heart, so deeply buried in the sweeping waves of the dark ocean within you. I didn't see my love again in the Library, afterwards.

Give in, give in for my touch

At least you still do Quidditch work. Why did you stop being a Seeker? I could so hardly wait to brush beside you, fly with you. I know how you love flying. Why do you do this to yourself? Why do you keep yourself away from me? Why do you avoid me, if I'm just a worthless Muggle-lover as you said? You won't look at me, speak at me, touch me. I hope it hurts you just as it hurts me, because then there would be no justice; and if there's no justice there's no love, and I cannot bear the thought that you never loved me.

For my taste for my lust

You did, I know. And somehow I know that you love me still. Or do you not? When you whispered in my ears your devotion, when you tasted my deepest secrets, when we hid in the classrooms from prying eyes full of hate, when you took my hand with a promise of eternity in your eyes. I knew you loved me. Why are you doing this? Why are you hurting me so much?

Your beauty cascaded on me

Merlin, you are so beautiful. Me, all freckles and red hair, had you, flawless, perfect, like a glass statue with diamonds for eyes. I saw your stunning body but I also saw your tattered, sad soul. You are so beautiful and so broken, my love, how can I do anything but love you? But you left, you left me with a burning kiss and never came back again... Where has my Draco gone? Who is this stranger walking with your face?

In this white night fantasy

As I look out of the window, at midnight, and snow slowly covers the sleeping Hogwarts grounds, I'm cold and lonely and I'm terribly scared of what will happen to you, what has you father done to you, to my own, my very own Draco who isn't Malfoy. And I'll stay up late another night, and wake up crying another morning, and study hard as not to think, and... and always, always hope to find that gleam of Draco in Malfoy's eyes...

"All I ever craved were the two dreams I shared with you.

One I now have, will the other one ever dream remain.

For yours I truly wish to be."*