Through Darkness and Light

Chapter 8

To be Stronger

"Where is she? Vala, it's been hours. I should have gone with her."

Moonlight filtered through the nearby window, lighting the small lounge with an eerie glow. A black shape crossed the sky, its tattered cloak catching in the air.

Calrheane reached with the fëa and brushed the dementor's spirit. Voices echoed around her, their words muffled. The past, which she had hidden deep within the recesses of her memory, threatened to spill out.

She pushed them aside and concentrated on the dementor.

So, he escaped again. She wasn't surprised; Sirius Black was more resilient than any other she'd met. He may have escaped, but this didn't solve her current dilemma. Shra still wasn't back.

Her eye caught a long rectangular box, the ends of it hanging off her center table. "I had forgotten."

A thin layer of dust coated the box. There were few items she carried with her from Valinor. Vines and leaves were carved into the wooden surface and she traced the inscription. She unhooked the latches on the box, releasing the small of cedar.

Nestled in the folds of silk rested her mother's sword, Hadhafang. The blade itself was two feet in length and gold script was etched on it. The reddish-brown handle called to her; after all these years she still remembered its comforting weight.

Time passed as she stared at the sword, fighting back the memory of when it was bestowed upon her. "This is part of who I am," she said and grasped the sword.

The words meant nothing, wisdom falling on a closed heart. Fear gripped her and until she forgave herself, she could never let go. "Mother, you wouldn't have died if I'd been stronger."

"Calrheane." The voice boomed across the room and she spun around. Shra stood in the doorway, her golden eyes glowing.

"How is it you open doors and yet make no sound?" Her voice wavered, but she managed to smile. Shra was safe.

"That is a secret; one which I will not tell even you." Shra's gaze traveled to the sword. "You are remembering."

"Not even elves are immune to the dementors." Calrheane put the sword back and re-did the bindings on the case. "I was concerned for you."

"You should not worry."

"I do."

"I am well enough. I only wish I had been able to find the one who was disrupting the fëa. There's more going on than we realized," Shra stated, her tone harsh. "The Forest is weakening."

"You're sure? I have felt no change."

"It is subtle. We are not part of the Forest, therefore it went unnoticed. I followed the current to one who could give us answers. He said little, but what I did learn concerns me."

"And?"

Mud caked Shra's legs and small clumps fell when she walked. "It was not the Dannen."

"I know." No matter how much she wished it, she could never forget their magic. Even now she heard their screeching, fighting against the spell her mother had cast. She shuddered and grasped her necklace. "I do not wish to speak of them."

"There is no time for your guilt." Shra's lips pulled back, baring her teeth. "In 3,000 years you have not been able to forgive yourself and the Dannen certainly aren't going to wait. Their master is impatient and he calls to them."

"I am well aware of that. I can feel it," she snapped.

Her fists clenched, digging her nails into soft flesh. Why now, of all nights, must Shra be so persistent? The past was not the issue. It would be dealt with, but on her terms.

"The Dannen were not behind the attack; we must find out who was."

Shra huffed and shook her fur. Sludge splattered onto the floor and furniture. "Very well, if that is your decision."

"It is."

"I went to speak with Great One."

"I have not heard of him."

"You wouldn't have. He's the physical embodiment of the unicorn's spirit and the Forest's protector," Shra explained. "The title of 'Great One' is passed from father to son. Even those Elders still alive from the Ages cannot compete with his power."

"Why didn't Great One stop it then? Surely he must have seen the threat?"

Shra snorted. "This evil is killing the Forest, tainting the fëa world. To heal, it has been feeding off Great One."

"But that can't be."

A spirit was supposed to be untouchable, each individual born unique, something that couldn't be changed. However, history proved this wrong time and time again. Zirak, the Dannen, even dementors were evidence of this. Could there be another who sought to rid themselves of their fëa, becoming greater and more terrible like Zirak? Or was there another reason?

"Does Great One know who's been attacking the Forest?"

"Whoever this being is, he's good at hiding. Not even I could track him. The spell's remnants disappeared, leaving no traces. However, Great One did know what the power was after."

"Which was...?"

"His son; that was all he would say."

A chill swept through Calrheane. A unicorn, but why? To be hunted by darkness, it was not something she desired any to feel. If there was a way to change this unicorn's fate, she would.

"This power is familiar, yet also something I've never felt before. Snape was right; it's ancient, similar to my own, but I don't recognize it. That's what concerns me."

"Snape? What does he have to do with anything?"

"He had contact with the Dannen during the War though he doesn't know what they are."

"He has connected you with the Dannen? And also this power?"

She nodded.

"There is nothing we can do, but surely that was not why dementors swarmed the grounds?"

"Sirius Black made his first move. He attempted to get into the Gryffindor common room." Just thinking about him was enough to give her headache. Questions assaulted her, demanding that she discover his part in this journey.

"What will you do?"

"I will do as I've always done."

"You mean nothing. And how will that answer your questions?"

"The Mirror is deceptive; it may have nothing to do with me."

"Obviously it means something more. The Star-glass is proof enough."

Until this night Shra had left the subject of Sirius Black alone. She had never questioned Shra's silence before, but thinking in retrospect it contradicted the wolf's inquisitive nature.

"He is not bound to this war. I shouldn't have seen him and I'm not going to assume that because I did, he a purpose to play."

"Then why did you give him the phial?"

"Because Ingwe requested that I do so. Either way, it matters not. I saw a possible future, not a certainty."

"You still saw him."

"I know and that's the problem." There were too many unknowns to deal with in one day, Black being the least among them.

There was a knock at the door and Shra jumped, the fur on her back rising. Perhaps Calrheane wasn't the only one affected by the dementors. Shra usually had a calm head.

Another knock, this time louder.

Calrheane drew on the fëa and her breath caught. "Remus."

The only thing she heard was her thumping heart as she opened the door. Remus stood in the darkened hallway, his face covered in shadow. His eyes were piercing, a look of accusation as he glared at her.

"Are you just going to stand there all night pretending you can read minds?"

"Shra," Remus said and walked into the room, "I'm glad to see that you're safe." He did not look at Calrheane.

"You had doubts?"

"I suppose that was silly of me, you're quite capable of managing on your own."

Shra's ears twitched forward and sniffed his foot. "Did something happen? Your spirit feels weaker."

Remus's back straightened. "Yes."

"Well?" At Shra's inquiry Remus said nothing and her gaze flicked to Calrheane.

This conversation was bound to come up, she was only lucky Shra had not noticed before this. Either way it mattered not. Calrheane wanted to reach out to Remus, to offer some words of comfort or explanation. His face was impassive and the hard look in his eyes stalled any of her movements. She took a deep breath, perhaps it would be easier to simply deal with Shra.

"You felt the power that was unleashed, but it missed the original target and found us instead."

"Why did you not speak of this? Were any others affected?"

"Several teachers felt it," she answered, "but no others were attacked."

"I see." Shra scratched her belly with her hind leg. "Why the two of you? That is curious."

"Indeed." Remus's eyes narrowed. "There are many things curious about this night."

"Really? I thought it was quite dull before that power attacked."

Calrheane reached for him and he pulled away. "Remus, I..."

"Why?"

"What did you do now?"

"I have so many questions, but right now all I care about is protecting Harry," Remus said, his voice harsh. "Before we were attacked you went into a trance. Tell me the truth."

She looked away. "I didn't mean to say what I did."

"That was quite obvious."

"What happened? Did you see something in the fëa?"

Remus stepped closer to Calrheane, his eyes flashing. "She spoke of an ancient evil that's been sleeping. She said the world was changing. What did you mean?"

Her stomach lurched and she pressed her hand against it. She felt sick, as if her insides were churning. This wasn't her fault. She hadn't meant to say anything to cause his mistrust. Now that she had, to learn more would only put him at greater risk. That's what the Vala had counseled, but then why did this feel so wrong?

"It would be best to forget what I said," Calrheane said.

Shra wisely, kept quiet for which Calrheane was thankful. Her spirit was too weak to deal with both of them right now.

Remus's lips were set in a thin line. "And what of me?"

"What?"

"Don't play innocent. Did this really mean anything to you, this friendship? You just stood by, and even now you're still saying nothing."

"I..." her voice trailed off. "I'm sorry."

Remus stood there, his eyes never once leaving hers. In that moment she felt an unbearable pain ripping through her body. What was holding her back? Surely not her loyalty to the elves, the ones who would rather she never existed.

She could tell Remus, gaining back his trust. The betrayal would be gone, replaced by the relaxed smile she'd grown accustomed to. Then the moment was gone, her chance lost.

"Very well." Remus turned and just before he left said, "I will forget...everything."

The door shut, a small click as the lock reset itself.

Her knees shook, but she remained upright. She heard his soft footfalls as he left. He was leaving. She desired more than anything to run after him and explain everything. Yet, her feet did not move.

"Are you happy now? You could have told him, you know. I would have said nothing against it."

"I wanted to protect him." At least, that's what she believed...right?

"He's a werewolf; he's in danger no matter what."

"Zirak will seek to corrupt him," she whispered. "I can't let that happen, not to him."

"Did you ever think that with you around, he might be stronger?"

Calrheane spun to face Shra, only to see the wolf nudging the sword case with her nose.

"Did you ever think that you might be stronger with him?"