Inter jocos et seria

The sun was shining and the birds sang their morning song. It was too early for the students to rise; Hogwarts was quiet and peaceful. Filtered specks of sunlight danced behind the green curtains of a four-poster.

Pansy moved in her sleep and a strange feeling in her legs woke her up. Her mind was still troubled from dreams and she couldn't figure out what felt wrong. She lifted her hand to push the blond strands out of her face... and froze in sudden realization. Instead of soft, slender fingers caressing her skin, she felt the touch of a large strong hand with long bony fingers. The skin wasn't as soft as it used to be and the hand felt too heavy. 'It', as if it wasn't her own hand, touching her own face. Her face felt all wrong too. She didn't open her eyes but instead let her fingers caress her cheek. She caressed the rough skin down her cheek-bone, pressed a finger against her lips, which felt a little dry and then traced a path along the strong arch of her nose, up to her eyebrows which were a little larger too. She used to have beautiful, slender, aristocratic eyebrows; they seemed wider now.

She opened her eyes to see the promising light of a lovely morning playing across the dust in the air. The other girls in the room were still asleep.

"This is just a joke," she thought, "probably some student's bet or a challenge." But nobody had ever used her as a subject of practical jokes. She used to be Perfect Pansy, the Ice Queen, the untouchable princess, a true aristocrat.

"What happened?" She moved her legs and felt it again: hair. Long, soft hair all over her legs. She felt like crying. Her hands touched her thighs, feeling the muscles moving under her skin, the soft hair tickled her palms. "Am I dreaming?" She sat up, pushed away the duvet and looked at her legs, the long blond hair covered her all the way up, disappearing under her night gown. She took it off to see her body and silent tears slid down her cheeks. From below her navel started a thin line of hair went down to her genitals. She was a man.

A mute scream filled her body. She clasped her arms around her chest as tears rolled down her cheeks and dropped onto the white linen sheets. Her dressing gown lay forgotten at her side. As she glanced down her body, her gaze came to rest on her feet. "So big and ugly." Her eyes travelled up her skin. "Horrible knees." Taking a deep breath to steel herself, she looked at her crotch. "How vulgar," she whispered, before she closed her eyes.

"Why?" Nothing had happened yesterday. No spells had gone wrong, no potions had exploded. Nobody hexed or cursed her, she didn't have any real enemies. "Why?" Her lips tried to form a plea but they cramped in a soundless cry.

After a while she dried her tears and held her head in her hands. "Reason can help me. I should go to Professor Snape. And tell him I've turned into a man?" New tears appeared in her eyes but she wouldn't let them. "No, Madam Pomfrey is a better choice. She'll know what to do." Pansy sighed, rubbed her eyes and climbed out of bed. Fortunately it was still too early for anyone to rise. She would prefer not to be seen like this. She should gather some clothes, clean up her face, get dressed and go to the hospital wing. But she couldn't go there wearing a skirt. She almost chuckled when thinking of how stupid it would look: a blond Pansy boy in a pink taffeta dress. "Hideous." She left the clothes for what they were and went to the showers. Her face was ruined but it was still her. It was almost frightening how recognisable she was; the same blue eyes, though a little harder, thick lashes but not as long any more. Same soft lips, slightly swollen from crying and biting and just a little less curved. Her cheeks were the worst, too angular and her cheek-bones seemed a little higher too.

It struck her that she must have grown too. She hadn't been short before yet she was rather tall now. Her blond long hair looked messy. She took a comb and started combing it, caressing her hair with one hand, combing it with the other. It looked lovely falling down her shoulders, caressing her skin gently. It was still silky. There was no hair on her chest. But down there, there was hair. A shiver ran down her spine. Tough she washed her face with ice-cold water, a glance towards the mirror showed she was still a man. And she needed a shave. There was the second shiver. "I don't have to shave, all I have to do is go to Madam Pomfrey and everything will be alright."

She put a towel around her waist. "Such narrow hips," she thought. She walked into her dorm again to find some suitable clothes. One of the sleeping girls yawned and scared Pansy. "What if they see me? What if everyone finds out?" she thought, hiding behind the curtains of her bed. More sounds indicated that at least two other girls had awakened, too.

"What time is it?" asked a sleepy voice next to her. Pansy didn't make a sound. From another corner came an answer.

"It doesn't matter. Saturday, remember?" That was Millicent's voice. She didn't sound too sleepy and Pansy heard her pushing the curtains apart. As quietly as possible, Pansy crawled back under her duvet and made herself very small. The muffled sounds from awaking girls still penetrated her hiding place and she listened carefully.

"Pansy? Are you still asleep?" whispered one of the girls near her bed. She didn't answer.

"Are you coming for breakfast, Milly?" They left her alone. She sighed. She was still a man.

Soon some of the girls would return from breakfast and spend their morning in here, reading magazines and listening to music. The common room would be used too and all of Hogwarts would be filled with students wandering around. She marvelled about her flat belly with nice but not too strong muscles and then decided to sneak into the boys' dorm to steal some clothes. If she had to be seen, she'd at least look decent.

For the second time she left the dorms, this time with a towel around her waist. Her bare feet tiptoed down the steps to enter the common room below. "No Slytherins in here," she remarked and crossed the room to mount the stairs towards the boys dorms. "Seventh Years' dorm should have clothes big enough, at least Draco's trousers would fit." She reckoned they'd be about the same height and weight. She stopped at the door and listened. All was quiet and peaceful. She pushed the door ajar and peered inside. Nobody. Fast and silent she entered the dorm, carefully stepping between the scattered shoes and socks. "Boys dorms," she thought and smiled a little. Then it struck her that she was no real girl either. "Yes I am! It's just the wrong body! I- am- a- girl!" a voice shouted in her head.

At the far end of the room was a tidy corner and some clothes lay neatly folded on top of a trunk. Pansy smiled. She knew Draco well enough to recognize his work. She quickly walked towards it and found the desperately needed trousers, with a shirt and shoes en surplus. No socks or pants but she could do without them, In just ashort while she'd be all right again. All girl. She tried not to think about it not being reversible, though a tight knot in her stomach made her almost sick. She inhaled slowly, sighed and ignored her trembling fingers. "Let's put on some clothes," she murmured.

A wet hand grabbed her wrist and pushed her roughly to the floor. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" hissed an angry, freshly showered Draco while pushing her face down on the cold floor. To her surprise she could easily flip him over and shove him hard against the trunk, both falling aside. Draco and the contents of his trunk lay sprawled across the floor.

Pansy screamed. "Aw! You brute! You've hurt me!"

He crawled towards her and touched her face. She turned away but was turned back around again by his strong arms to see a startled Draco. He was white as a sheet.

"Pansy?" He asked. "Is that you? What happened?"

"Can't you see? Have you shampooed your brains away? Are you Longbottom? Stupid git." Her screams ended in sobs. She pushed his arms off her. Draco didn't know what to think or do.

"How did you know it was me?" Pansy asked in a watery voice.

"You don't look much different, apart from being, well, you know. Even your voice sounds like you, just a little lower and hoarser." Draco was caressing her hair and held her close to his him. They were friends and, though everyone assumed there was more, there wasn't. Just friends, best friends, and, like best friends, they were dear to each other. Draco's soft voice felt good. He'd know what to do. She could use his help.

"Has everything changed or are you still a girl in some places?" Something told Pansy he wasn't as upset about this as she was. At least he could try to react a little more serious.

"Why? Do you want to look under my skirt?" She sighed but smiled too.

"You're not wearing one, Pansy dear, this -" and he held the fabric between his fingers, "is a towel." He smiled at her and she knew. A Malfoy always gets what he wants.

"Go ahead silly, there's nothing there you haven't seen before." He looked her in the eyes and smirked. His hands pushed the towel away and, while his arms folded around her shoulders, he looked down. He didn't say anything and she swallowed. She felt her throat move against his shoulder. Draco felt it too. He nuzzled her hair while caressing her back.

"Well?" she asked.

"You look good," was the answer. She couldn't believe it.

"Good? Didn't you notice? Draco, I am a man."

"Oh, you mean 'that'. Sorry, I hadn't noticed," he answered in a voice

similar to Gilderoy Lockhart's.

She laughed. "Can I borrow some trousers from you or are you planning to keep me naked?"

"Is this a trick question? And how do I know if I'll ever get my trousers back? Because those are really expensive... Oh." Before he could end his sentence Draco had been pulled on his feet by a pair of surprisingly strong arms and a naked young man was leading him towards the scattered clothes.

Pansy looked very good in Draco's black slacks and a white shirt. Her slender figure was very similar to Draco's and both of them were surprised with the pretty results.

"What will you do now?" Draco asked, while giving her socks and shoes. He still couldn't keep his eyes from her and he wondered if it was because of who she was or how she looked.

"I'll go to Madam Pomfrey of course, what else did you think?" Sometimes she couldn't make head or tail of him. "Or should I call The Daily Prophet and have my picture in the papers? 'Freak discovered at Hogwarts,' Exclusive material indeed and a nice change from the Boy Who Lived." She looked tired. There was that thought again. "What if it didn't change back?" she thought. "Let's not think about that. Please, distract me Draco."

"My pleasure." was his answer and he kissed her neck. "You even smell masculine." he mumbled next to her ear.

"How do you mean? Sweaty?" He chuckled.

"No, it's more like spices, and freshly cut grass, a little bit of almonds and also butter, a hint of cinnamon and tea..."

"Nonsense, you're just longing for breakfast and Quidditch practice."

They walked together trough Hogwarts. At every corner Draco would check if the next corridor was empty. Pansy would hide until the coast was clear and then both of them would be ran as fast as they could towards the next hiding place. They had to change their route a few times as the more common access routes were used by the other students. Pansy was extremely nervous and adrenaline reeled trough her veins.

"Wait!" she hissed when Draco took her hand, pulling her along with him, spiralling down the steps from yet another small hidden passage.

"Don't worry, Pansy. There's no one here." He squeezed her hand and gave her a reassuring smile.

"If Creevey could see us now, you'd have a ruined reputation." They laughed.

"I bet he'd get off on it."

"Draco, that's disgusting."

"Oh, right, you're a girl. Sorry." He gave her the oh-you-poor-innocent-girl look which she hated so much.

"Mr. Malfoy, if you keep forgetting I'm a girl, why are you holding my hand?"

For a moment they looked into each others eyes. They didn't say anything and Draco pulled her slowly closer. Their noses were almost touching and Draco's lips parted. She could feel his breath on her skin and she licked her lips. A blush spread quickly on her cheeks.

"Let's go Draco," she said. The silence had been broken and the kiss didn't follow. He looked flushed as they continued on their way quietly.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Pansy waited. Draco sat next to her. They both looked at Madam Pomfrey who looked at the book in her hands. Then followed another book. More books were brought down from dusty shelves. Draco went to the kitchens and returned with toast and coffee for two. They ate together, talked, read and helped Madam Pomfrey. Pansy was glad he stayed with her. During the day she got more and more nervous. They had sent for Professor Snape and now four people were searching for a remedy. But they didn't find one. No remedy, no explanation, not even a mention of anything like it throughout the ages of wizardry and books.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A few years later the death of a young man was announced in a small article in The Daily Prophet. The identity of this man is unknown but there might be a connection with the mysterious disappearance of Pansy Parkinson, who was a Seventh Year student at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The man had drowned himself in the lake nearby the Malfoy Estate.

Draco sat next to the small grave. The rain cleared and the wet slate had mosses growing on it. He and Pansy had been friends ever since they were born. Everyone believed they would marry, have lovely children, a dog ("A pug," Draco would say) and a breathtaking grip on the Wizarding world. It never happened because, one day, Pansy turned into a boy. They tried every spell, potion and cure but nothing worked. She hated her body and her life. When all hopes for a cure were lost she just walked into the lake and drowned. Draco wasn't surprised when he found her, just sad. He sat next to the small grave.

"Pansy Parkinson. My little pug," he said in a small voice.

The last drops of rain fell from the spring leaves and filtered specks of sunlight danced behind the green foliage on the grave yard. All was quiet.