Forgotten Sister

My name is Lana Lovegood. You don't know who I am, nobody does. Nobody really wants to know me either. That's the curse of being a squib like me. But then again, maybe I did contribute to my solitude. I never made an effort to approach people or make new friends. I just couldn't find the strength in heart, mind, or soul to do anything.

It had been that way ever since I was five, ever since my mother died. Dad couldn't handle it; he began to obsess over his work as he began more and more insane. Luna had always been more attached to dad and began to share in his idiocy. I was left alone. I think I felt her death more then them combined. I still miss her, I miss her so much. If she had not died, things might have been different.

I cut myself off from the world after our mother's death, and waited patiently for the day I might go to Hogwarts and finally be free of all my torment. The years passed by slowly, with my father eventually being arrested and sent to Azkaban for six months for as he said, "Trying to stop the Minister of Magic's plans for creating a giant army of hybrid mermaid dragon manticore pixies with which to conquer the Secret Tibetan Ministry of Basilisk Marriages". He couldn't think straight anymore, and me and him grew further and further apart.

My only real friend was Luna. She always stood by me, even though she often took dad's side in his insane arguments. She comforted me and helped me cope with the increasingly dire situation. She could always make me laugh, and bring a smile to my face. I loved her. I loved her as I had our mother. But alas, all things change in time.

The summer of our eleventh birthday came and before too long, the owl arrived, but he only held one letter with him. It was addressed to Luna. My hopes didn't drain until near the end of the summer, when still a letter for me had not arrived. It explained a few things, and confirmed that I was a squib.

I cried the night she left on the train, knowing I wouldn't see her until the Christmas break. I was alone. For once in my life I didn't have anybody to comfort me or to laugh and play with. Those were some of the hardest times of my life. Living under my father's continuous ranting about how the ministry was actually run by Martian spiders in magical disguise was a very difficult thing. It nearly drove me insane.

When the Christmas break came, and Luna came home, she told me all about the school. The way the stairwells moved and the pictures would take turns telling Sir Cadogon that his quest was to leave his mural and dance in Snape's dungeon. It was all very amusing, until she told her about the things that were happening at the school too. Luna hadn't told dad because we both knew he'd go crazy and claim the heir of Slytherin was really a potted plant or something. He was annoying enough talking about how muggles were planning a military invasion of Hogsmeade.

When Luna had to go back to school I waited and waited to see her again. She was my only source of light and hope. I really did love her. I missed her hugs and her jokes and the way she helped me brush my hair. You cannot imagine how lonely I was without her.

When the school year ended she had quite a story to tell, explaining about the chamber of secrets and Ginny and Harry Potter and all those things. She told me Ginny was really nice and I should meet her sometime. I was of course excited by the idea of this and agreed. They arranged for her to come over by floo powder a few times a week.

When she did come, it was like I didn't matter. She and Luna would go have fun and talk about all the boys at Hogwarts. I was left alone. Ginny was nice, at least she was whenever she actually talked to me. I never did get the chance to meet her brothers, but from the horror stories, I don't think I'll ever want to either.

When Luna went back for her second year, I was even lonelier then before, and looked forward less and less to her visits. By the time her third year was over, she and I were as distant as dad and I. Dad, who was now taking up the fight against illegal devil's snare hemp wand making factories, only added to my despair and drove to seek solitude from Luna and her friends. Soon I simply hated having her over because it meant the house would be filled with loudly giggling girls.

There were no more hugs for me, or laughing or playing. It was all over. I was alone, in a house filled with psychotics. Before long they were forgetting I was even there, fixing meals for two instead of three and leaving on trips without me. I was a ghost in my own house.

It was one particular incident that made me lose it, and it happened in the summer before Luna's fifth year. Dad had somehow gotten something right and was awarded the Conspiracy Unveiling Award and a free week long trip to Hawaii. Despite the fact he destroyed the award, having decided it was actually a savage leprechaun pretending, we still kept the trip.

The day we were supposed to leave I got up and took a shower before carrying my luggage down the stairs to greet them. But they had already left, and I did not know the floo powder address for their location, and being a squid, I had no way to follow. The trip that had been the thing keeping me going and I had been forgotten.

It hurt me when Luna began to shy away from me. It tortured me when they forgot me on that trip. But it was inexcusable when they showed up a week later, looked at me and asked who I was and what I was doing there. I broke into tears of both anger and sadness and went to collect what meager belongings I had, a few magical tools, a book, and an armful of clothes and stuffed them in a trunk.

Before I could walk out the door, Luna pulled me aside and begged my forgiveness. She offered me almost everything she had just so I might have stayed. It made no difference to me. "If you can't even remember your sister exists half the time," I shouted at her, pushing her aside. "Then you probably won't miss me very much."

I threw the door open and left, dragging my heavy trunk behind me. Luna didn't follow me; she just stood there, tears dripping from the bottoms of her closed eyes. I walked and I walked until our house was only a speck on the horizon and then I collapsed and cried.

That was just over two years ago. That was a day I have never regretted at all. I did not find happiness outside that house, nor did I find acceptance or meaning. I found only a way to escape my past. I moved to Hogsmeade and got a job working in a store there. Several times I saw Luna in my store but I never said anything to her. As far as I was concerned, I had no sister. The job paid only a little, but it was enough to give me the food I needed to survive, and the clothes to keep warm. It was the best could do, very few positions were open to squibs.

I lived in a very dirty and poorly kept store room under the store, which the owners let me live in so long as I inventoried it in addition to my other tasks. It was enough to keep me alive. I never talked to the town's people or really did any socializing. Every once in a while if I had saved the money I'd buy a drink or two over at the Three Broomsticks. I was always working, day and night.

My appearance had degraded as much as my life had. I was thin and my skin was pale. My hair was grown out long and tangled with messy hair. My clothes were all torn and faded; some people asked me why I didn't magically mend them myself. I had a few cuts and scars on me, compliments of my trip to Hogsmeade from my home in the hills through many dangerous lands.

People tried to look at me; they were disgusted by the site of me. When they saw me they wanted to help me but at the same time they didn't want to or know how. That made me disturbing. Some of the school kids would laugh and make fun of me but I didn't care. It was better then living with Luna and my father any day. I was content.

One day I was working when somebody was pushed into me and I feel face first onto the floor. It was a hard fall; I didn't have time to move my hands out to protect me.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" a familiar voice called to me. "Are you alright? Here, let me help you up!"

A hand came down to help me get back to my feet. I recognized the voice but I couldn't remember where I had heard it before. That was before I saw who had picked me up. It was Luna.

"Thank you, Luna," I said softly to her, wiping some blood off my face with my sleeve.

"How do you know my name?" she asked me quickly.

"Don't you recognize me?" I asked her, my hopes going down faster then my father's ability to think straight. "Don't you remember me?"

Luna shook her head and looked quizzically at me.

"It's me!" I exclaimed loudly. "Your twin sister! Lana!"

This had not caused the reaction I had wanted. Luna looked at me like I was insane. She started to walk away when I called out to her.

"If you can't even remember your sister exists half the time, then you probably won't miss me very much," I said with fleeting hope that she might remember.

Luna stopped dead and looked back at me, her body trembling and her eyes filling with tears. She took a step forward and looked carefully at my face.

"That is you, isn't it?" she asked softly, moving even closer. "You ran away a couple years ago. Because..."

"Because you forgot about me," I finished her sentence for her. Luna gave a loud sob and threw her arms around me, crying into my shoulder, attracting the attention of most of the people in the store.

"Oh please forgive me, Lana," she said between sobs.

"You could have found me if you had tried," I told her, pushing her away from me, "I stayed near the house for a weak, until I knew you didn't care."

Luna stared at me, the truth hitting her like a speeding broomstick. "As far as I am concerned," I finished, "I have no sister." I turned away from her and got back to sweeping the dusty floor.

Luna ran out of the store with tears covering her face, unable to find a way to escape her own guilt. I find it to be very refreshing, and doubted if she would ever look at me again.

The next day started just like any other until an owl flew in with a letter for me. "Probably from Luna," I mumbled to myself, ripping it open.

Dearest Lana,

I realize that my actions are inexcusable. I am less then human. To do the things I have done to you is evil and cruel and I beg your forgiveness. I realize that we may never again be sisters or even friends, but all I ask is that you can forgive the idiotic fool who once abandoned and forgot her sister. No words will erase the damage that has been done, but at the very least I want to make sure that I can rest without the torturing guilt. I love you, Lana. I love you way I once loved our mother, and for her sake, I beg that you forgive me. If you are willing to accept my apology, please come to the Hogwarts quiddich field sometime between 12:00 and 3:00 PM today.

Your sister,

Luna

Reading the words make my hands shake and my body tremble. I began to curse myself for being so mean to her. I had kept my hatred and rage bottled up for so long that I had become no better then Luna or my father.

I pocketed the note and decided to leave a little later. It was 2:45 by the time I set off for Hogwarts, trying to think of an apology of my own. By the time I arrived it was almost 3:15 When I neared the quiddich field, I noticed a circle of people talking busily among themselves. I started to run faster and pushed a way through the crowd. When I saw what they were all staring at, I fell to my knees.

"LUNA!!!" I shouted and crawled my way toward her body lying on the ground. I was crying more then I ever thought possible. She was motionless, cold, and stiff. She was dead. I held her body in my arms and cried on her shoulder the way she had onto mine. I noticed that in her hand she was holding a small slip of paper in her hands. I grabbed it and unfolded the crinkled piece. It was another note.

To whomever it may concern,

My attempts to empty the guilt in my mind have failed. I have lost everything now. My mother, my father, and my beloved sister. I have nothing left. I have chosen the route of escape I know will satisfy her, and maybe now she will finally forgive me. I just hope that I do more to help her in death, then I ever did in life. It is my only wish that she can live a full life of her own, as I never got the chance to.

Luna

I heart stopped as I read those words. It was my fault. I was reason she was dead. Luna, my sister, the only person in the world who I had ever truly loved, was gone.

That was almost ten years ago. I still live the same life and I still do the same meaningless tasks. Every day I am haunted by the words on that note, which I carry with me at all times. The only reason I am still alive is because of the final sentence on that note. I pray each night for her soul and for mine and dream of the day we may finally be united once again.