Confessions

Harry Potter realized it during his fifth year. It happened on his first date with Hermione.
He kissed her good night and nothing happened. Nothing at all. In fact, it felt like he
was kissing his sister, if he had had a sister.

After that, Harry did everything he could to prove himself wrong. He dated every
Gryffindor fifth year, and over half the fourth and sixth years before moving on to
Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. And still, nothing. Nothing at all.

Then, it happened.

Harry was sitting in Potions, partnered with none other than his arch-enemy Draco
Malfoy. Harry had the strangest sensation wash over him. He was watching Malfoy
add a spider leg to their cauldron, and it struck him oddly fascinating the way Malfoy bit
his lip while deep in concentration. Then, when Malfoy spat an insult at Harry, he
couldn't think of anything to say back and instead turned away, blushing.

A year had passed since the incident in Potions when Harry came to terms with his
sexuality. He hadn't told anyone of course, but he had a feeling that Hermione and Ron
knew, especially when he suddenly gave up all affections toward the female gender.

Now though, Harry had only one problem: he wanted the one person he could never
have.

***

Draco Malfoy was the most sought-after boy at Hogwarts. Girls in all four houses (even
Gryffindor) wanted him.

He had returned to school the summer after his fourth year all grown up. He had shot
up to a towering 6'3", rivaling even his self-proclaimed bodyguards Crabbe and Goyle,
and he had also broadened out a little, exposing a very well-defined chest and other
muscles. His silver-blond hair had darkened a little, and he had stopped slicking it back.
His skin had also changed; he had lost his pale, sickly complexion.

So, it was easy to see how every girl would be throwing themselves at him. There was
only one problem: Draco wasn't interested.

He hadn't been interested in girls for as long as he could remember. His father had tried
to snap him out of it, throwing curses and insults and threats at him whenever he was
home. He had even gone so far as promising Trenton Parkinson, the father of Pansy
Parkinson, annoying Slytherin and president of the Draco Malfoy fan club that his
daughter would, one day, marry Draco.

The only thing that accomplished was to cause Draco to become even more disgusted
with girls.

And still, Draco had a secret. He was in love.

***

Draco stared at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep. He hadn't been able to get a decent night's
sleep since fifth year when Snape paired him with Harry in Potions. He couldn't do
anything but think of him. His unruly raven hair, those green eyes, and the tall, lanky figure. He couldn't even call him Potter anymore.

Draco groaned.

Unable to take it anymore, he rolled out of bed and crept quietly out of the Slytherin
dungeons. He snuck outside and took off toward the lake. There was a tree on the
hillside overlooking it, and Draco sat down in front of it, leaning back against the bark.
He stared out at the giant squid playing along the water's surface.

Harry wrapped his Invisibility Cloak even tighter around him. Sometimes he just needed
to be alone, to clear his mind, and to stop thinking about him. He often wished he had never
even met Draco Malfoy.

Harry could still remember his first day at Hogwarts. Malfoy had offered to be his friend.
He had offered to help him find the right crowd of people. Harry had turned him down. How would things be different if he had taken Malfoy up on his offer? Would he be walking outside pining away for his best friend rather than his sworn enemy?

Then, he saw him.

Malfoy was leaning against the tall oak on the hillside above the lake. His face was
buried in his hands, and his body was shaking in silent tears.

"Malfoy," Harry breathed.

Draco looked up, but saw nothing. He frowned. He could have sworn he had heard...

Suddenly, Harry appeared in front of him, having shed his cloak. "Potter! What the hell
are you doing here?" Draco exclaimed, jumping to his feet and hurriedly wiping at the tears on his cheeks.

"I was just taking a walk."

"It's the middle of the night!" Draco yelled.

Harry shushed him. "Someone will hear you!"

Draco shook his head. "You know Potter, I came out here to be alone. I don't need you,
'Mr. Celebrity,' interrupting my solitude," he hissed. The only thing he could do to
keep from kissing Harry was to insult him. "Leave me alone," he said, collapsing back onto
the ground, the tears threatening to fall again.

Harry dropped the cloak at his feet and knelt down next to Draco. "What's the matter
Draco?" It was the first time he'd ever used Malfoy's first name to his face.

He looked up into the pools of emerald that had haunted him for months.
"Nothing...everything. I can't tell you," he said. "Leave me alone."

"No. We both have something in common Malfoy," Harry began. "We both must not be
able to sleep. That's why we're out here now." He sat down and leaned next to the tree.
"Now, why is that?"

"Bugger off Potter!" Draco whispered, his voice having lost its harshness.

Harry didn't say anything. He didn't need to nor want to. Instead, he stared out at the lake,
not daring to look at Draco, who was doing much of the same next to him. Harry shifted
his position, causing their shoulders to brush against each other. Draco sucked in a
breath.

"I don't sleep at night," Draco admitted, his words monotone. "All my life I have known I was different. I can't talk to anyone about it. So, it keeps me awake at night. Thinking, debating, wondering why and when and how it all started. Why I am the way I am." He took a deep breath. "I think I'm in love, but I know I'm just being silly. There's no way that someone could love me." Draco couldn't seem to meet Harry's gaze.

"Having girl problems Malfoy?" Harry shot back, instantly regretting the words and
wishing with all he had that they weren't true.

"Potter, I'm gay, okay?" Draco bit back. "I like men. It's sick, perverted, and, go ahead,
tell the whole school. Tell the whole damn world for all I care, but that's what keeps me
awake at night. I lay there, wondering where these damn feelings came from. I'm a
Malfoy damnit. And yet I love..." He made the mistake of turning to look at Harry. "I
love..." Emerald eyes met azure eyes. There was something in Harry's eyes, something
Draco couldn't even begin to understand.

Harry took a chance and did something he had only dreamt about. He leaned forward
and pressed his lips to Draco's softly. Draco's gasp was lost in the kiss. It was sweet and
gentle and warm, and not at all how either of them had imagined it.

Just as quickly as it had begun, it ended. Harry grabbed his cloak and took off, leaving
Draco sitting next to the tree.

Alone.

Finis