Can't Decide to Love or Hate You

Pansy's face glowed with happiness and a bit of exhaustion as she walked back into her common room with her date, Blaise Zabini. The Halloween Ball just ended, but the path that Blaise led her to his room suggested that their night was just beginning. He convinced her on the way that it was their only night of privacy: Crabbe and Goyle were spending the night in the hospital wing after they both broke a bone or two after a failed attempt at dancing, and Adrian Pucey, who stayed back a year, was staying in a room in Hogsmeade with his girlfriend.

"But what about Draco?" Pansy whispered as they reached the boys room.

"Didn't you see him leave with the Weasley girl?" Blaise asked, stopping at the door. "I saw both of them run out of there right after they had their little spotlight dance. Ha, I can't wait to harass Draco about that one."

"I thought it was sweet," Pansy said as she gave him a light kiss. "I was certain that we would win with our Zeus and Hera costumes, but I guess Weasley did look okay."

"Just okay?" Blaise teased.

"Fine, amazing," Pansy said with a pout, "but I still don't think she deserves Draco at all."

"Well, I think it's a bit too late now, as they're probably shagging each other like rabbits," Blaise said with a smirk as he opened to the door to a not so empty common room.

"Draco?" Pansy asked with confusion as her and Blaise stood in the doorway, staring at Draco who was clutching an almost empty bottle of Firewhiskey. His usually neat hair was hanging in front of his eyes, which now seemed a bit glazed. Blaise took a few steps to him as he snickered under his hand. Draco was clearly drunk, and was doing it in style with his Romeo costume still on.

Draco didn't register their presence as he continued to sit on the floor with his back up to his bed, taking big swings out of the bottle.

"Gross," Blaise in disgust as he kneeled down in front of Draco. "How can you take that stuff straight?"

Draco lobbed his head backwards to rest on the surface as he tried to look Blaise straight in the eye. "Eazzy," he slurred as he clutched the bottle. "You justh hold ith like thisss, and hope it doesss ithss job."

"And what's that? Why are you drinking, Draco?" Pansy asked as she tried to grab the bottle out of Draco's hands.

"Drink my ssorrows away," he said, glaring at Pansy who easily retrieved the bottle from the drunk.

"Hmm, I'd think it would be to get alcohol poisoning," Blaise said as Pansy threw away the empty bottle. "What happened, mate?"

Draco frowned as he dropped his head, which didn't seem to stay still. "I messed everything up. I'm sso bloody stuupid. I should of kept my big sstupid mouth shut!"

Pansy sighed loudly, losing patience quickly. "What did you say, Draco?"

"Told her I wuved her."

"Wuved?" Blaise exclaimed. "What the hell is that?"

"He meant love, Blaise," Pansy said as she shook her head.

"Oh," he said quietly as he turned his head back to Draco. "Who's the lucky lady?"

Draco slowly shook his head. "Noo lady anymore. Sshe ran; it'ss all over. I messed up and now she hatess me." He paused for a second before placing his hands on the floor to stand up, only to fall right on his face.

"Owww," Draco's muffled voice said before Blaise put two strong hands under his arms and helped him up.

"I know this is serious and all, but have you ever seen a Malfoy so clumsy before?" Blaise asked as he helped Draco stand still, with his help of course.

"Draco, who is this girl you are talking about?" Pansy asked, completely ignoring Blaise. "It better not be Weasley."

"Herr name iss Ginny!" Draco said very loudly, causing Blaise's face to scrunch.

"You told a Weasley that you love her?" Blaise said in near shock. Sure, he could tell that Draco had a thing for the youngest Weasley, that much was obvious at the dance, but he figured it was sex related.

"Ginny! Her name iss Ginny!" Draco exclaimed as he tried to push Blaise, completely missing him.

"So you told Ginny," Blaise overemphasized, "that you love her and she ran- so much for Gryffindor bravery- which explains why you're completely pissed in your room, by yourself."

"See?" Draco said, fixing his glazed eyes on Pansy, "Blaisse gets it!"

Pansy sighed with frustration. She was expecting a night full of bliss with Blaise, but instead got a very drunk Draco. "Draco, you getting drunk isn't going to help you forget about Wea-Ginny. Come on, this is so unlike you to loose your cool."

"But so was falling in love with a Weas-sorry-Ginny in the first place," Blaise said as he moved to sit Draco down on his bed. "But Pansy is right, Draco, you really shouldn't be drinking like this. How much was left in that bottle before you finished it off?"

"Half," Draco mumbled as he nudged Blaise's hands off him, grumbling he didn't need help sitting up.

"You drank half a bottle of whiskey?!" Pansy shrieked.

"Wow," Blaise said in amazement as he watched Draco who was barely sitting up by himself, "Malfoys must have a pretty high tolerance."

Draco nodded briefly before falling backwards onto the bed, his arms sprawling out onto his sides.

"Blaise?"

"Yeah, Draco?"

"Make the room sthop ssspinning."

"What? But I'm not-"

Before Blaise could even finish his sentence, Pansy conjured a bucket in lightning speed, gave it to Draco, who sat up and puked out all he was worth into it.

"Well, that should make the room stand still," Blaise said in disgust as he turned away, muttering he felt sick.

"Boys," Pansy mumbled angrily as she went off to her room for some much needed alone time.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Ginny? Is that you?"

Ginny looked up, startled at the familiar voice. "H-Harry!" she exclaimed as she hastily wiped the tears off her face. He was the last person she expected to see out by the lake.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked as he hesitantly took a seat next to her on the bench.

"Oh, um," Ginny mumbled as she stared at her hands. "Just needed some fresh air." Truth was the second she left Draco's room an hour earlier, tears nearly flooded her vision, and she felt herself running without really knowing to go. In the back of her mind she was going to go to the safety of her bed, but was afraid that she would run into anyone coming back early from the ball. She brain screamed for fresh air, and next thing she knew she found herself sitting on a bench by the lake, crying out of confusion and fear.

"Oh," was all he said.

Ginny lifted her head a bit, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. "Better yet, why are you out here? Shouldn't you be shagging Lavender by now?"

Harry sighed loudly as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Actually," he said after a pause, "Lavender dumped me."

Ginny's head whipped towards him. "She dumped you?" she asked in disbelief. Surely she misheard him.

"Yep," Harry said as he threw a stone into the lake. "I guess she got a bit upset with me and decided to leave with some Ravenclaw."

Ginny quickly muffled a laugh that she was suppressing. She knew it was not a funny matter to get dumped, but what goes around comes around. "I see," she finally managed to say with a straight face. "Why was she upset?"

Another silent moment came from Harry, and after he threw the third rock, it was obvious that he didn't want to answer.

"Harry?"

"Who cares about Lavender, eh?" Harry asked, quickly changing the subject. "How about you? Why are you upset?" At his question he froze and dropped the stone in his hand. "I'm sorry that was a stupid question. I'm surprised you're even talking to me."

Ginny turned her head in curiosity, and was about to ask what he was talking about when she remembered what made her leave the dance in the first place.

"Oh, well, I guess that plays a part..."

"You mean I'm not the only one made you upset?" he asked, almost as if this was good news. "Wait; did Malfoy do anything to hurt you?"

She quickly shook her head, knowing that Harry meant physical, deliberate harm. "No, Draco would never want to hurt me," she said slowly, knowing it was the truth.

After all, the truth was out. Draco Malfoy is in love with her.

And she ran.

"Oh," was all that Harry could say again. "Well, do you want me to leave so you can have some privacy?"

Ginny nodded slowly. "That would be nice, thank you."

Harry nodded as he sat up, and started to walk away before stopping. "Ginny?"

"Yes?"

"Would you," he mumbled as he played with his shirt, "would you like to sit together at breakfast tomorrow?"

Ginny looked at him in shock, with a million emotions running through her. 'This is it!' her mind yelled at her. 'This is what you worked for, his attention! You might get Harry Potter back!'

'But all he's done so far is hurt you!' another voiced argued with her. 'Remember him and Lavender, earlier?'

'But Lavender is out of the picture, and you're back in!'

"Sure," she said slowly, not even sure herself if it sounded happy.

It apparently was a good enough answer for Harry, who's face broke into a huge smile. "Great. I'll see you tomorrow then," he said. With a wave, he was gone.

Ginny watched his retreating figured, and not until was he back inside the castle did she smack her palm against her forehead. "What are you doing to yourself?" she said aloud.

That was the problem. She didn't know what was going on. When Draco whispered those words into her ear, she felt immediate shock and almost felt like she was betrayed. Flashbacks of her first night of her 6^th year hit her full force, the ones which led her to Draco in the first place. He knew she was afraid of love, that she wanted nothing to do with it, and she only came to him for revenge on Harry. She wanted Harry jealous, so maybe he would want her back.

But why did Draco have to go and fall in love with her? She slowly shook her head before resting it on her palm. Did he really love her? She didn't know if she should even believe him. For months she swore Harry loved her, but it was all a lie. And this was from someone she thought would never do something like that, something so Slytherin. And here comes the prince of Slytherin, whispering such words to her, such lies.

Ginny sniffled lightly as a tear fell from her eyes. Was Draco lying to her? She didn't want to think so, didn't want to believe that it was a possibility. He looked at her differently than Harry ever did; he seemed to actually really care about her. And just the way he looked at her when he first saw her in her Juliet costume...

Ginny sighed loudly as she looked up into the star filled night. "I refuse to get hurt again," she whispered before standing up to walk slowly back into the warmth of the castle.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco grumbled loudly as he stared blankly at his breakfast plate. He woke up only twenty minutes earlier next to a toilet, still in his costume with ruffles and a splitting headache. How he got to the bathroom, he couldn't remember, and as he sat at the table trying to collect his thoughts, he realized he couldn't remember much of last night.

He barely moved when Blaise took a seat right next to him, and Pansy right in front of them. Both had a humorous look on their face.

"So how are you holding up, mate?" Blaise said while patting his shoulder a bit too hard.

"Do you mind?" Draco snarled as he pulled himself away from Blaise. "I'm sore enough; you don't have to add to it, thank you very much."

"Someone's a bit grumpy," Pansy muttered in her cup.

"Hmm, I wonder why?" Draco snapped as he grabbed a piece of toast. "I have a pounding headache that won't go away, my whole body aches, and I woke up on the ground next to a shit box. You know how shameful that is for a Malfoy?"

"That's shameful for anyone," Blaise laughed as he piled eggs onto his plate. "But what did you expect after half a bottle of Firewhiskey?"

Draco felt his stomach do a flip. "Ugh, don't remind me," he groaned as he pushed his plate away, already loosing his small appetite.

"I'm surprised I can still be hungry after helping you out last night," Blaise said as he munched on some bacon. "I mean, once I was sure I wasn't going to spew at the sight of you, I had to sit and wait for you to stop throwing up into the bucket so I could drag you to the bathroom."

"Explains why I'm sore," Draco mumbled under his breath.

"No, I think that's more of when you kept on falling," Blaise noted, pausing from his food to think.

With a groan, Draco rested his forehead and arms on the table. "How about everyone just shuts up so my head won't explode?"

Draco took a deep breathe once it was silent around him. It wasn't so much the hangover that was getting to him; it was of what made him drink in the first place.

The second Ginny left him like that in his room he didn't know what to do. He felt sudden anger at himself for having to say that, disbelief at Ginny for doing that to him. He wanted to throw something at the rage he felt thinking that this was all Potter's fault, but didn't want to break any of his valuable possessions. So drinking the half bottle of whiskey that he had stored away in his trunk seemed like a great idea at the time.

The liquid burned his throat, but the more he had the less he thought about Ginny and her gorgeous smile, her fiery hair, and just all the reasons of why he loved her. He was trying to permanently forget about why he did love her, or even the idea of love, but the only thing he got out of it all was a hangover and a few bruises on his body.

Draco was contemplating on going to Madam Pomfrey for a hangover potion when a certain laugh stood out of the crowd.

Her laugh.

Draco's head immediately popped up, his eyes scanning the Gryffindor table for her hair. The second he saw her, he felt his already broken heart drop.

"Draco?" Pansy asked curiously at her friend who's eyes seemed to have frozen on someone, and he would have been completely still except he seemed to be shaking slightly. Concerned when he wouldn't respond to her, she looked over her shoulder and saw what Draco was entranced by.

Ginny was sitting at the Gryffindor table, not with her group of friends her own age like she has been all year, but with Harry Potter. She was laughing aloud to something Harry just said, looking pleased with herself; acting like a Malfoy didn't just confess his love to her the night before.

Anger boiled inside Pansy. No one dared to hurt Draco so painfully, and if they did they had to mess with her. Pushing aside her hatred for the female Weasley, she turned back to Draco who had yet to move from his position.

She had never seen him look so affected before, and it made her slightly uneasy. Friendly comforting was left to the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs, but she would manage as best as she could. 'Or,' she thought to herself evilly as she stole another glace at Ginny, 'I could deal with this like a Slytherin would.' With a smirk, she turned her attention back on Draco.

"Draco?" she asked again. When he still didn't respond, she kicked Blaise under the table, nodded towards the Gryffindor table, and went back to looking at Draco, hoping that the other male Slytherin would snap Draco out of it.

Blaise scowled at Pansy, for once he didn't do anything to her that deserved to be kicked, but when he saw her nodding behind her then looking at Draco, he glanced at Draco and followed his eyes towards the Gryffindor table. The second he saw Ginny and Potter sitting together, he sighed quietly to himself before glancing back at Draco.

Casually going back to his breakfast, he muttered to Draco loud enough for only him and Pansy to here, "You don't need her, mate. You're a Malfoy, you're better than that."

Draco didn't respond, but Blaise knew that he heard him. Blaise shrugged his shoulders at Pansy, and went back to his food when Draco suddenly stood up. Blaise and Pansy both nearly jumped at his sudden movements, and Blaise was just about to ask what he was up to when he looked up and saw Ginny leaving the Great Hall by herself.

"Don't do it, Draco," Blaise said sternly. "You don't need her."

Draco slowly shook his head. "I need to talk to her, Blaise." Without another word or a glance, he left.

Blaise sighed loudly as him and Pansy watched him leave the Great Hall. "What now?" he asked, feeling almost defeated.

"Wait for this to die down," Pansy said as she sipped her pumpkin juice. "Meanwhile, I have my own plans."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Ginny!"

Ginny paused at her name, suddenly wishing she didn't. She knew who was calling her; she felt his eyes on her at breakfast the whole time.

"What do you want, Draco?" she asked without turning around.

"We need to talk," he said urgently. He was only a step away from her now.

Mustering up her Gryffindor bravery, Ginny planted a straight face and turned around towards Draco. Her face almost fell at his appearance; by the looks of his hair and the circle under his eyes she could tell he had a rough night.

"I don't think there is anything to talk about," Ginny said calmly. "Now if you don't mind, I have a lot of homework to do today."

She turned to leave, but Draco quickly grabbed hold of her hand. "I do mind, and there is a lot to talk about."

She ignored the warm feeling she still got from his contact and just pulled her hand away from his when they were approached.

"What do you think you are doing, Malfoy?" Harry asked coldly as he came up to Ginny's side protectively.

"What does it look like, Potter? I'm talking," Draco snapped. He was the last person he wanted to see.

"Well it doesn't look like she wants to talk to you, does it?" Harry growled as Draco glanced at Ginny. He was right; Ginny didn't look like she was any mood to talk about anything.

"This is none of your business, Potter, so I suggest you leave before I make you," Draco snarled as he fingered his wand in his robe pocket.

"Is that a threat?" Harry said, him too grasping his wand, ready for a duel.

"Enough!" Ginny suddenly yelled as she placed herself between the two boys. "There will be no dueling going on!"

"But, Gin," Harry started before Ginny shut him up with her glare.

"I can take care of this myself, Harry. I'll see you later?" It was more of telling him then asking.

After taking one good, hard look at Draco, Harry nodded. "Okay, I'll see you later," and walked off.

"So, I'm something that needs to be taken care of?" Draco drawled, almost glaring at Ginny.

Ginny sighed loudly. "You know what I meant, Draco."

"Look," Draco said, quietly, quickly pushing away the scene with Potter, "Can we please talk?"

She wanted to say no, but she knew it took a lot for him to plead. "About what exactly, Draco?"

"About last night."

Ginny couldn't help but look at the ground, and she didn't know why. She knew that was exactly what he wanted to talk about, but she couldn't bring herself to. She still didn't know what to think about all of it.

"There's nothing to talk about."

Draco looked at her in mere shock. Was she kidding? "Look, Ginny, I'm sorry if I scared you or something, but it's the bloody truth. You can't expect to just walk out of my life as if nothing as happened."

Ginny looked up into his gray eyes at his words, and slowly nodded. "Yes I can," she whispered before quickly walking away from him.