Can't Decide to Love or Hate You

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Chapter Eleven

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The library scene with Ginny ran through Draco's mind, as he tried to make sense of what he told her.

"Whatever was between us is over. As of now we go back to how it used to be. It was easier that way."

He could not believe that all of this was really happening, and so fast. Just a few weeks ago, he was almost kissing her and feeling all sorts of things. And now, now he is supposed to act like none of that ever happened. That he never thought of her as more that just another Weasley, or the fact that he might have had feelings for her.

Draco sighed quietly as he put his feet on top of the coffee table. When she told him about her true feelings for Potter, like it was nothing at all, he felt his whole world crashing down. It took him two weeks to realize that that was indeed what it felt like, and it hurt twice as much to realize that after all of this it was because he did undeniably like Ginny. He, Draco Malfoy, Prince of Slytherin, fell for a Gryffindor. And the worst part was that the feeling was not mutual.

No, the worst part was that she turned him back into what he once was.

Draco grumbled angrily at himself as he picked a grape off the stem and threw it across the common room. But who is he to blame Ginny for getting hurt? He should have known better than to have allowed himself to open his heart up to her. His father taught him better than this, that to love is to be weak. And all Ginny did was make him feel weak.

It hurt too much to be near her, knowing that she would never know of his true feelings. He never felt that with another girl, so it had to have been something special. But it was all ruined. She just could not let go off Potter, so he had to let go of her. No matter what he felt about her anymore, it was just easier to call everything off and go back to being enemies. He did not think that he would be able to play pretend with her and not feel anything. It would have eventually worn him down.

So it was completely over between them. They would no longer talk like friends, or look at each other like lovers. They were back to how they were meant to be, enemies.

And here he was, only a little after dinner, sitting all alone in his own common room. This was how it was meant to be for him. To be alone.

"Draco!"

'Never mind,' he thought to himself as the shrieking voice filled the room. Draco rolled his eyes as he looked towards the common room entrance to see a furious Pansy storming through.

"What did I do this time?" he asked casually.

"I have had it up to here with all of this!" Pansy snapped as she walked up to Draco. "It was hard enough to accept it, but this has gone too far!"

"What the hell are you yelping about?" Draco muttered. He was in no mood for another Pansy bitching.

"That red hair thing you call your girlfriend is standing outside right as we speak! Draco, did you tell her where our common room is? You know that that is against the rules!"

Draco quickly stood up from the leather couch. "Ginny is right outside you said?" he asked in disbelief.

Pansy rolled her eyes. "Did I stutter? Now I suggest you go out there and tell that pathetic Gryffindor where she belongs!"

Ignoring Pansy's rude comment, Draco waved her off and walked to the door. He stared at it, taking a few deep breaths before opening it. He wanted to get his head on straight and his attitude just right.

With his cold eyes and a blank face intact, Draco casually opened up the door to find Ginny slumped against the cold wall outside.

"What do you think you are doing here?"

Ginny jumped at his voice and quickly stood up straight. "Draco!"

Draco narrowed his eyes at her. "I don't remember giving you permission to address me by my first name, Weasley."

"Will you cut the whole Slytherin act, Draco?" Ginny snapped. "I didn't come here and beg Pansy Parkinson to tell you that I needed to see you just to hear this."

Draco opened his mouth for another rude comment when he looked up to see several Slytherins making their way towards them. "I don't feel like making a scene, Weasley. So can we at least go somewhere private? I don't want to give my house the impression that I invited you here."

Ginny sighed loudly as she nodded her head. Without making eye contact at her, Draco led the way, not even bothering to see if Ginny was following him or not.

A few random turns later, Ginny finally broke the silence. "Draco, where are we going?"

Draco ignored her question, as he wasn't even too sure of where he was going. His head would only concentrate on the idea of Ginny wanting to talk to him about something. But what was it? Sick of walking, Draco picked a random room to walk into. He did not even look to see what was in the room until he heard Ginny gasp with surprise behind him.

Draco felt his eyes widen slightly at the spiral staircase right in front of him. "Is this," Draco began to ask, but stopped when he watched Ginny slowly walk up the staircase in awe.

"This is the room I ran to after Harry broke up with me," Ginny whispered as she kept her eyes towards the top of the stairs. She paused and looked down at Draco. "This is where we came together."

Draco only nodded his head as he too walked up the stairs. Words did not enter his mouth until he reached the top and found Ginny sitting in the same, dusty couch. He suddenly did not feel like pretending anymore with her.

"Do you remember what you told me here?" Draco asked quietly as he stood next to Ginny.

Ginny looked up at him and shook her head. The moonlight reflected off of her face, just like it did back in September.

Draco sighed quietly as he took a seat next to her. "You told me that only fools fall in love, and that you would not be a fool again."

Ginny studied him silently. "Do you think that I'm a fool, Draco?"

Draco shrugged his shoulders and stared at his hands. "Yes and no."

"Yes and no?" Ginny repeated in confusion.

Draco sighed slowly. "Yes, for not giving up on Potter, and no, because,"

"Because what, Draco?"

Draco's eyes flickered up to hers. "Because you can't help who you fall in love with."

Ginny stared at him, slightly shocked by what he said. "I have a question, Draco. Why does my loving Harry upset you so much?"

Draco's heart stopped beating. He was not expecting her to ask that. "Because I don't' want you to get hurt." That was true, maybe that wasn't the only reason, but she did not have to know that.

"But then why would you stop talking to me? Why would you turn so cold and hateful towards me?" Ginny asked with a hurtful voice.

"Because I don't think I would be able to watch you get hurt by Potter again."

Ginny opened her mouth to speak, but paused. How could she ask Draco if he liked her without making it terribly comfortable? Or maybe it was better off if she didn't ask. Some things were better left unsaid.

"Draco, I don't like it that we have to be back to hating each other. I actually don't think that I can do it." That was something she was not even planning on saying, but it was the truth.

Draco nodded his head slowly in agreement. "Me neither," he said quietly. "But what now?"

Ginny shrugged her shoulders. "Let's not put a label or plan on anything."

"So you want us to be friends?"

Ginny smiled at Draco. "Yes, that sounds good. Is that all right with you?"

Draco watched the smile on her face, and not since their last night in there did he realize just how beautiful she is. Could he suppress his feelings for her and watch her move onto Potter? Could he really just stand by and just be a friend to her? Could he be with her knowing all the time that he could never be more with her?

"Friends it is," Draco said casually.

Ginny's smile grew as she stood up. "Well, I might as well go make Ron's day and tell him that we're just friends."

A smirk crept over Draco's face as he followed her down the stairs. "Or we could accidentally forget to tell him and watch him turn red whenever he sees us together."

"Draco, be nice," Ginny threatened with a smile.

"But now how am I going to watch him squirm?"

"Just go back to your lame insults on our family and his girlfriend being a mudblood."

"Hey! Those were not lame! I would stay up at night thinking of those."

"The sad thing is I believe you."

Draco's face dropped at being defeated. He stole a quick glance at the red head next to him before placing his hand on her head and rubbing her red hair.

"Draco!" Ginny shrieked at her crazy hair as she tried to run away from him.

"Don't worry," Draco said as they walked out of the room. "I made it look better."

"Well I just can't have better looking hair than you!" Ginny giggled as she attacked Draco's hair with both hands.

"You witch!" Draco yelled as he quickly tried to defend his precious hair. "You're going to wish you never did that!"

Ginny shrieked with laughter as she quickly ran away from the frazzled Draco, only for him to follow her and threaten her of all the things he would do to her when she least expected it.