Can't Decide to Love or Hate You

"Draco!" Ginny yelled breathlessly as she ran into the castle. She stopped to take a short breath as she scanned the students for a silver-blonde head. Sighing with frustration, she turned sharply towards the stairs to the dungeons. She did not run all this way from the lake for her questions to go unanswered.

Sudden voices made her pause by the Potions classroom, and she was about to turn the corner to examine where and who they were coming from when she stopped. Suddenly aware that she was the only Gryffindor in the dungeons at a time like this, she chose to poke her head around before dashing off anywhere. Not even the bravest Gryffindor would be stupid enough to walk alone near the Slytherin common room, or past Snape's office for that matter.

Quickly glancing around to make sure that no one was nearby, Ginny turned her red head around the corner towards the voices. Her heart pulsed a bit faster at the sight of Draco, but quickly ceased at the sight of him talking to Pansy. Not wanting to deal with her at the moment, Ginny was about to retreat to her own common room when her own name caught her attention.

"Pansy, will you just leave it alone?" Draco said with annoyance as he stared at the girl in front of him. All he wanted to do was to be alone in his room and think about what just happened with Ginny out at the lake, not to be questioned by Pansy.

"No, I will not leave it alone. Something is going on with you and that red haired girl and I don't like it one bit," Pansy answered with a low growl.

Draco sighed loudly as he leaned back against the damp, stone wall. "First, her name is Ginny, and second, you know her and I are together."

Pansy rolled her eyes at this last comment. "Whatever you say, Draco, but I wasn't talking about the obvious. If you guys are 'together', then why do you look like a lost little puppy?"

Reacting to her comment, Draco quickly straightened himself up. "I do not look like a lost puppy! Especially a little one!"

Pansy slowly massaged her temples. "Okay, fine. You look like a lost, masculine puppy that we are all secretly afraid and jealous of. Now can we get on with my point?"

"There's nothing to go on about, Pansy, so as I said, just let it be," Draco growled, his voice filled with threat. Frustrated and a little scared, Pansy quickly nodded before walking away towards their common room.

Once she was out of sight, Draco sighed with sudden exhaustion as he turned to walk the opposite way from Pansy. Now he also had to avoid his own common room or be ambushed with further questioning. Wondering if he could do any work for Snape to clear his mind, he turned the corner sharply into something red.

"Shouldn't you Gryffindors be wearing bells to let everyone know where you are?" Draco asked with annoyance as he lowered his hand to pick Ginny up from the ground. At least it wasn't he who fell.

"Well excuse me," Ginny said with full sarcasm as she stood up with Draco's help. "Maybe all Slytherins should carry little pocket mirrors to look around the corner with before turning them in full speed."

Choosing to ignore her comment, Draco asked, "What are you doing here anyways? Shouldn't you be off with Potter in your own common room?"

"What has gotten into you?" Ginny asked with a crossed look on her face. "One minute you're trying to kiss me, and then next you want me to be else where?"

"I was not trying to kiss you!" Draco yelled with more force than he meant to.

Ginny's eyes widened slightly at Draco's outburst. She opened her mouth to comment when another female voice filled the air.

"Draco? Is that you? I know you don't want to talk to me, but I have one more question to ask."

"Just great," Draco whispered with anger. "Now I get to have you and Pansy jumping down my throat at the same time."

"Oh, stop whining and just hide, you big baby," Ginny said as she grabbed his hand and pulled him into a nearby abandoned classroom.

Draco stared at Ginny sulkily as she pressed her ear to the door she closed behind them. After a moment a small smile crossed her face. "There, she's gone. Now was that so hard?"

"I shouldn't have to hide from girls, especially Pansy."

Ginny rolled her eyes as she walked across him to go sit on a desk top. "What has gotten into you?" she said as she stared at this grumpy face.

"If anyone is asking questions here, it's me," Draco said quickly. "Why are you here, or better yet, why did you follow me inside?"

"You tell me, Draco," Ginny said as her legs dangled over the edge. "There is something going on with you, and instead of being all dramatic and angry- tempered, why won't you just tell me?"

Draco quickly averted his eyes to the floor. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Then let me refresh your memory. Just moments ago you were getting all cozy and nice by the lake, even bringing me dinner, and suddenly you jump away as if I burned you. Sound familiar?"

Draco glanced up at her, suddenly wishing he didn't. Watching her sit like that on the desk, with her legs dangling over the edge, reminded him of a dream he once had about her, a certain dream where she seduced him.

Suddenly very uncomfortable and slightly nervous, Draco quickly shook his head. "Just forget about it," he almost pleaded. How was he to talk about something he didn't even fully understand, or even want to acknowledge?

With a frown, Ginny hopped down from her seat and walked towards him. "Do you not want to continue this?"

"This?" he almost stuttered as he watched her approach him slowly. What the hell was getting into him?

"Our plan to get back at Harry," Ginny said slowly, stopping a foot in front of him.

The sound of Potter's name brought anger to Draco's eyes. "Oh, so you still want revenge on Potter?"

Confusion filled her face. "Of course I do, Draco. Do you not remember what he did to me?"

"No, Ginny, do you not remember?" Draco yelled, not being able to hold it in anymore.

"Excuse me?" Ginny asked in shock.

"You had your poor, little heart broken by the famous Potter. You came crying to me, wanting help. You wanted revenge, to get back at him and make him suffer like you did."

"You don't have to remind me, I certainly remember!" Ginny yelled back.

"THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU STILL LOVE HIM?"

Ginny's mouth hung open in surprise at Draco's outburst. "Is that what's been bothering you?" Ginny asked quietly in slight disbelief.

If anyone was surprised, it was Draco. The last thing he wanted to do was loose his temper in front of Ginny. Actually the last thing he wanted to do was admit that that was indeed bothering him.

"I don't think that really matters, does it?" Draco said through clenched teeth. "All that matters to you is your precious Potter."

"That's not true," Ginny said, slightly shaking.

"Oh, isn't it? Your whole life revolves around him! First, you love Potter and try to get him to return it. When that doesn't work, you result to turning into this heartless piece of mush with intentions to get back at him. That won't even work because you never stopped loving him!"

"Did you really expect me to just push out all feelings for him? It's not that easy, Draco! I thought I did, but it's impossible to just forget about someone you have loved for your whole life! Haven't you ever been in love?" Ginny asked, praying that he somehow would understand her.

"No, I haven't," Draco said with sudden quietness.

"Well I'm sure you've had strong feelings for someone."

Draco quickly looked away from her stare to hide his eyes. "Even if I have, what's your point?"

"Would you be able to just push away all feelings for them? Would you be able to lie to yourself about your true feelings just to prevent yourself from getting hurt?"

Draco slowly ught his gray eyes to brown ones. He stared at her hard for several seconds, before responding with a stern answer.

"Yes."

Ginny slowly nodded her head, with a slightly sad expression on her face. "Well, I'm sorry, but I can't."

Draco stared where she last stood even after she walked away from him to exit the room, slowly running through his brain on what just happened.

"Oh, and Draco?"

Draco brought his gaze to the Ginny who was halfway out the door. "Yes?" he asked.

"Maybe if you didn't push your true feelings away, you would know what it's like to be in love."

Draco stared at her with a blank face. "And maybe if you didn't keep old feelings alive, you would know what it's like not to have a broken heart."

Ginny's face turned into a frown. "At least I have a heart to be broken." With that she quickly walked away, closing the door on Draco, as Draco quickly closed his own door to his heart.

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